We know Bill Clinton is scum. But how scummy is he? What follows is a
quick comparison of the legal and moral virtue of the pantheon of US
presidents. Please note from the start that I'm not gauging the effectiveness
these leaders, not their place in history. Ethics and legal niceties are the
scope of this essay.
Lets start in the Elysian fields. Which commanders in chief have been do-gooders
wearing white hats? In my opinion this select group includes:
- John Quincy Adams
- Theodore Roosevelt--a colonialist, but a Noble Peace prize winner, reformer and early conservationist
- Woodrow Wilson
- Herbert Hoover--a noted humanitarian (remember, we aren't judging effectiveness)
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt--slight flaws eclipsed by great virtues
- Jimmy Carter
Not everyone is a hero. Some presidents are nice enough. In this group we find:
- James Monroe
- Harry Truman
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
- Gerald Ford
Let's face it. Some presidents were so ineffectual or undistinguished that no one
knows anything about them. We'll do them the courtesy of assuming that they're better
human beings then Bill Clinton. Most people are, after all.
- Martin Van Buren
- James K Polk
- Zachary Taylor
- Franklin Pierce
- James Buchanan
- James Garfield
- Chester Alan Arthur
- Grover Cleveland
- Benjamin Harrison
- William McKinley
- Taft
There is no escaping the fact that many presidents are "problematic"
either ethically or legally. From bad to worse they are:
- Ulysses S. Grant--he ran a corrupt administration. But he felt bad about it.
- John Adams--signed the alien sedition act. On the other hand he showed a
real commitment to justice when he defended the British soldiers accused in the
Boston Massacre
- Abraham Lincoln--suspending habeas corpus is a far greater injury to justice then lying
under oath. But he is the Great Emancipator.
- William Henry Harrison--stole millions of acres from native americans
- Andrew Jackson--not exactly nice to the first peoples either
- Warren Harding--led an irredeemably corrupt administration, but he doesn't seem to
have profited personally.
- Ronald Reagan--Iran/Contra, violated International Law in mining Nicaraguan harbors,
had an incredible contempt for the truth. On the other hand, he might have been senile
and not responsible for his actions. Let's say that he's better than Clinton.
- Bill Clinton--Perjurer. Adulterer. Looked the American public in the eye and lied to
them.
- George Bush--He was in the loop. So he's a perjurer and a lier too. But he lied
about important matters of public policy. Besides, good people don't run the CIA.
- JFK--sleeping with a mob bosses doll is even more reckless than sleeping with
an intern your daughters age.
- LBJ--no one would say he's better than Kennedy in any respect.
The rest of the presidents are evil. Evil!
- Rutherford B Hayes--he fought corruption, but he used federal troops against strikers
- Calvin Coolidge--used troops against strikers and WW1 veterans
- Millard Fillmore--chose to enforce the fugitive slave act.
- Richard Milhous Nixon--War Crimes and Watergate
- Andrew Johnson--directly and knowingly violated the Tenure of Office Act,
protected despicable white southern aristocratic culture, ensured that african americans
would have to endure another century without basic political rights. Not a traitor, though.
- James Madison--reluctant slaveholder
- George Washington--slaveholder, gambler, confessed "assassin"
- John Tyler--slaveholder, eventual traitor
- Thomas Jefferson--slaveholder, rapist
So, that's how I'd rank the presidents. 28 better men than Clinton, 12 worse.