_________________________________________ / -Moradian Independence Day Parade- \ | -January 15, 2000- | | Recorded & Edited by Aubrey McMichaels | \___http://pages.prodigy.net/aubreymcm/___/ [University, Football Field] There is no activity or movement on the field at this hour, making one feel that there is something significant missing. In the silence, you can almost hear the shouts of the quarterback calling out the plays, the coach blowing his whistle. The darkness conceals objects on the field and the bleachers in shadows and, for a moment, the tackle dummies look almost human. You also see a tackle dummy, the coach's cart at the side of the field, a pile of helmets and an open gate. Also here: People Obvious paths: none. Jackson Shepard exclaims, "Hello, everyone! Thank you for coming to the parade!" Jackson Shepard says, "Alright. I have Silvana [StoneSkye], Ami Stuart, Arielle Drummond, Julie Green, and Megumi Kirisawa as judges." Jackson Shepard exclaims, "If everyone will please vacate the field and SIT in the bleachers we will get things started!" Savannah Reynolds recites: "'The lineup is: Grand Marshall, Guides, Ichiko, Es, Benton, Ray, Jess, Kara & Chance, Lisa & Jon, Weg" Jackson Shepard exclaims, "Alright, please quiet down while I cue the Grand Marshall!" Roberto Gomez drives across the football field in a conservative black limo. A stark contrast from the colorful floats you can barely see as they scramble for position to cross the field themselves. Roberto Gomez waves to the crowd out of a back seat window. The driver of the limo drives across the field quickly allowing the show to get to the main events. Roberto Gomez exits the field in his limo and it disappears behind the bleachers. Elise Evans walks slowly from the back of the float towards the front, holding up a travel brochure. She turns and points to a huge map of Morada that covers most of the float with dashes and street names. Over Elise's head you see a banner that says "Island Guides: Extending a Welcoming Hand to All". Savannah Reynolds steadies herself by leaning on a replica of the front door of the Roger Johnston Tourist Information Center, as the Island Guides' float lurches suddenly. She waves to the crowd and then puts a pair of shoes in the donation slot of the front door. Elise Evans peers over to the middle of the float and calls out, "Come out, Kim. No-one can hear you singing from there!" Her voice is partly drowned out by the noise from the crowd. Elise walks back past Savannah, dropping some counterfeit money through the donation slot in the door. Samson Spade waves at the stands. Samson Spade leans on a life-sized mock-up of an old lamp post in front of a scaled down facade of some French Quarter buildings. He smiles at the crowd, nodding and waving casually while talking into an oversized paper mache wrist communicator, Behind him you see a canvas banner: "The Guides are just a call away!". Samson Spade waves at the crowd of tourists, winking and smiling..as the float bobs unexpectedly, he steps forward.. he rights himself, looking down cautiously. Samson Spade signals the driver to move on. Ichiko Daiumi appears, atop a colorful flag-lined float. Ichiko Daiumi smiles and waves to the crowd from atop a float that recreates part of Embassy Square, showing the entrance to the Japanese Embassy, and a small park with a bench and working fountain. Ichiko Daiumi waves to you. Ichiko Daiumi takes a seat on the bench, watching her surroundings serenely, until the mood is broken when a small calico kitten butts her leg with its head! Ichiko Daiumi pets the kitten, which seems to enjoy the attention, until it notices a squirrel off to one side and begins sneaking in that direction. Ichiko Daiumi raises an eyebrow at the kitten. Ichiko Daiumi watches as the kitten closes in, then pounces on its prey and lets out a disappointed 'Merrrp' when it realizes the squirrel isn't real! It slinks back over to the bench for a friendly hug. Ichiko Daiumi sets down a bit of food for the kitten, and takes a coin from her purse. Closing her eyes tightly, she seems to spend a few moments thinking, then drops the coin into the fountain. Ichiko Daiumi turns around, bowing to the surrounding crowd as a plume of water shoots into the air from the fountain, brilliantly rainbow-colored from below by a rotating strobe light. Ichiko Daiumi taps her foot, motioning to the driver, and the float moves along off the field. Esmeralda Beaujolais waves her plastic mosquito around as her float comes into view, blowing kisses to the crowd with the skeeter. The Jungle float has a tiny island and a coconut tree in the middle of a slow-moving stream, surrounded by jagged papier mache rocks. Something appears to be waiting in the depths of the stream, but it may be an illusion... Esmeralda Beaujolais climbs up the coconut tree firmly planted on the float, grabbing a few coconuts before she slides down the trunk. She jumps to a rock in the middle of the stream, only to see a giant mechanical crocodile emerge from the water behind her! Leaping from rock to rock, avoiding the snapping croc at her heels, she reaches the other side safely. Esmeralda Beaujolais waves her sword in the air as she clambers around on the obviously fake rocks on the float. Mechanical bandits and stalkers suddenly pop out of hidden holes in the ground and from behind rocks, glowering menacingly at the crowd! Esmeralda Beaujolais stumbles into a tiny clearing while escaping the bandits, only to be faced with hundreds of angry wasps on wires! They circle her head as she attempts to swim across the stream to escape, but she can't make it! She lies helpless on the bank panting for what seems like hours, with stalkers popping up occasionally to hit her with plastic notched nightsticks. Esmeralda Beaujolais leaps up and grabs mangos from a pile at her feet and tosses them into the crowd as it cheers! She takes a coconut she picked off the tree and lobs it out into the crowd. She realizes this was a bad idea, as she watches it knock the fishing hat off of Jess s head! She cringes and then waves as the float glides out of sight past the end of the football field. Jess Whiterose grumbles about something. Jess Whiterose rubs a khaki fly-fishing hat sporting several hand-tied flies around its blue plaid band. Esmeralda Beaujolais removes her float from the field. Benton Fraser leads a sleek stallion onto the field and expertly mounts him. With no apparent visible or audible commands from Benton, his horse begins to execute a fast-paced and intricate pattern on the turf. Standing a safe distance behind appears to be a totem pole made with wood struts and paper mache. It resembles the Salish totem pole found inside the Canadian High Commission on Embassy Square in MOrada. Benton Fraser barely moves as his horse steadily loops around several times. A graceful, orchestrated version of 'O, Canada' begins playing from a loudspeaker hidden somewhere on the totem pole. Suddenly, the totem pole slowly rises and starts coming toward Benton! Benton Fraser doesn't seem to notice at first the totem pole ambling in his direction, then he turns his horse and charges right towards it. The pole stops waddling along, and Bemp Clouseau quickly emerges from a hidden opening. Benton Fraser sweeps past a moment later, hardly stopping as he accepts a long cloth pole from Bemp. Benton Fraser unfurls a large Canadian maple-leaf flag. The horse comes to an immediate halt as he proclaims, "Ride Forever!" The music fades out and a voice from the totem pole announces, "The Canadian Delegation to MOrada has been pleased to present this brief demonstration of the RCMP Musical Ride in honour of MOradian Independence Day!" Benton Fraser graciously dismounts his steed, and leads him off field. The totem pole follows behind. Bemp Clouseau pokes out of the hidden opening and waves to everyone! Bemp walks the pole off the field, careful not to bump into anything. Ray Krantz prances into the area on a towering Palm Front Pub shaped float! Along the top a banner is draped. It reads: THE PUB LOUNGERS SALUTES WHATEVER HOLIDAY THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE!. In front of it stands five inflatable figures draped in canvas tarp. Excitement sizzles across the room as everyone is in awe of the tremendous six-minutes of craftmanship put into the float, or lack thereof. Ray Krantz dances around the room. Ray Krantz bounces over to the first mysterious figure and rips off the canvas drape and unmasks.... a lifesize balloon visage of MELANIE ALEXIS! She is posed in the normal sarcastic position and dons a shirt proclaiming, 'SAVING THE WORLD WITH SARCASM'. Ray Krantz pulls a hidden lever on her back and the Melanie balloon raises it's fingers to it's forehead in the ever-popular Loser sign! Ray Krantz skips over to the next mysterious figure and folds back the canvas drape and reveals.... a NINA PERRSON float! Covered from head to toe in a bright blue duck print... thing, it's holding a *HUGE* bright blue mallet high! Jess Whiterose throws his head back and howls! Ray Krantz pushes a button on the Nina balloon and it swiftly swing a *HUGE* blue mallet at an annoying person! Bam! Pow! Critical hit! Ray Krantz struts up to the next figure and reveals it to be... a certain Gold-wearing tourist! A gasp waves across the crowd and he realizes what the float's doing and quickly recloaks it! Ray Krantz , embarrassed, quickly moves on to the next float. With a swift tug he reveals... JESSE JONES! This robust cowboy, known for his hip dance moves and public displays of affection is riding his trusty steed... the bus stop marker! Ray Krantz , finally moves on the last float where, with a swelled ego reveals...HIMSELF! It doesn't do anything but sit there in all it's perfection for you all to love and cherish. Boos immediately sweep over the crowd. Ray Krantz growls and barks at the audience. Oh no! Someone pulls out a dart gun and aimes it at the float. Bullseye! Ray and his float goes flying through the gate, deflating all the way. Ray Krantz screams! Jess Whiterose arrives on a dark and danky looking float with misty fog surrounding it with eerie mystery investigative music playing in the background. Jess Whiterose adjusts his vision and peers deeply into the shades and spies an old drunk leaning against a graffitied wall mockup. Jess Whiterose searches for an opening in the mist as he adjusts his dagger in his hand. Jess Whiterose avoids the thugs and other riffraff blocking his way into a dark office. Jess Whiterose feels the blood thump in his veins as he enters the mockup of a dark office and searches for evidence. Jess Whiterose takes a deep breath as he leaves the mockup of the office and searches through the foggy mist for the place of dark memories from a yet unresolved case that has been plaguing him. Jess Whiterose feels the unseen eyes and an image of evil in the form of a man upon him. Jess Whiterose arrives at the bullet-hole in the wall that evokes the image on the back of his float. Jess Whiterose sees his fallen comrade on a hospital bed with various tubes and lifesaving devices attached. Jess Whiterose holds the hand of his friend and comrade and vows to solve this case. Jess Whiterose wanders the foggy misty float in search of the evidence that is out there. And the float moves onward into the mist of solving crimes. Jess Whiterose hears an evil chuckle that booms from his float in the mist. Jess Whiterose shouts from the fog, "Justice will prevail." Jess Whiterose moves his float out. Chance Nevada perks up his ears. A look of anticipation comes over his face as the lilting tones of a steel drum band begin to roll over the assembled crowd. Chance Nevada gets an impish expression on his face and lets out a hearty cheer. Kara McLoud turns her attention towards the approaching float. Chance Nevada breathes a sigh of relief as he sees that the float's banner was delivered on time ! This year's proud banner carriers have been chosen for their reknowned patience and valuable first-aid to unprepared jungle tourists. Carolyn Jacardi and Anna Vawarth appear to have abandoned their characteristic clinical demeanor and are dancing along in bright native dress with a wide banner stretched between them. Looking closer you can read ..........-- Nariz del Diablo Wilderness, Morada's Jewel--..........underneath in smaller print the sponsers are listed..........Brought to you by.........Seahorse Publishing, order "In the Shadow of the Devil's Nose: An Anthology of Moradian Poetry" at www.seahorsepub.mda...................Irie Motors-- No car ? No problem, we're Morada's most reliable dealer..........and the Bus Workers of Morada, FUTURE = $$$ Monorail + No Bus Workers. WE ALL LOSE! Kara McLoud beams with pride at the approaching float. Fashioned of native flora and indigenous stone, the imposing figure of Nariz del Diablo seems to have woken from its slumber and begun to wander the streets of Cape Marassas !! Colorful orchids, all manner of ferns, copses of native hardwoods, palms swaying in the breeze, imposing rock formations, all have been painstakingly reproduced, thanks to the availability of an all volunteer work force of striking Bus Workers...........One can't help but wonder if the King will step in and get these dedicated public servants back to work!...............Despite the curious lack of broken key rings, empty bottles and dryer lint, the realism of this float is incredible. Chance Nevada seems to take a particular pride in the sophisticated water delivery system, which enables the creation of the wilderness' river and its many streams. The swiftly flowing water seems capable of powerful surges, perhaps even dangerous currents, until with a sudden, churning groan the water becomes quite still. Chance Nevada seems worried. Kara McLoud walks alongside the float, curiously maintaining her pace next to a reproduction of the abandoned shack on Otomang Cliffs. Pulling a rusty key from her pocket, she deftly opens the door to the shack, offering some refreshment and words of comfort to the exasperated, overworked Sweaty Native inside. He clearly would prefer to be greeting visitors to the wilderness instead of being a "water delivery system". Standing with a leaky bucket in his hand and a menacing look on his face, the Sweaty Native seems to be making some sort of caribe gesture toward Chance Nevada. Chance Nevada gulps. Chance Nevada blushes a nice shade of off-pink. Chance Nevada seems much happier to examine the recreation of the Morada's fierce volcano than to return the Sweaty Native's piercing gaze. Looking at the tall structure, it is clear a great amount of labor was necessary to accurately form the craggy stone facade of the " The Devil's Nose ". At first, it seems hard to understand why so many native islanders are pointing at the rock face and either chortling or fidgeting nervously. Suddenly it dawns on you that there is a curious resemblance between the craggy hooked nose of the volcano and the ubiquitous profile of Roberto Gomez, as found in his offical photo. You can't help but wonder if this resemblance was intended by the Bus Workers who built the float, or if it is merely an unfortunate coincidence. Kara McLoud trys to maintain a straight face as bursts of "colorful" native tongue grow in volume from the float. Suddenly the swaying palm trees part, and the wild-eyed face of a clearly overwrought Elderly Caribe Indian pops through. Flailing his arms wildly, and red as a beet, he begins shrieking loudly about the depth and current of the swift stream in the northeast Jungle, which has prevented his supplies from arriving. A sense of disappointment sets in as you realize that this island elder will not be able to stage his pyrotechnic display..........however the disappoinment is quickly followed by a sense of relief, as you realize that the fireworks might have been as unstable as the Elderly Caribe Indian. Chance Nevada quickly motions to the Irie Motors Steel Band, and they launch into a rousing island rhythm. The Elderly Caribe Indian's ranting is soon drowned out. As the band dances and teases the crowd, they provide a raucous fireworks of their own. Playing from a stage built to resemble Pacup Point, the energy they spread over the crowd is electric. A few concerned eyebrows are raised by the security guards as Danie Roberts seems more interested in getting a loincloth souvenir from the scantily clad singer than enjoying the music. Thankfully a family atmosphere prevails, and few people notice the singer slipping a hastily written phone number into Danie's hand. Kara McLoud winces expressively as a loud crash echoes and reverberates in the interior of the float. A sudden creaking stop further adds to the feeling that this float just might not be able to finish the parade route. With a half sigh she pokes Chance and nods toward a hollow tree on the float. Digging into a large briefcase, Chance digs out a bottle of strong scotch, a fifth of vodka, and a bottle of cheap tequila. Trying to be as discreet as possible, yet get the "motor" on this float running, he passes the bottles through the hollow tree, into the waiting hands of several moody, grungy, odd-looking, savage, and disgruntled men and women. Miraculously the float suddenly lurches forward again, narrowly missing the crowd, and lucky for the incompetence of the CMPD. Chance Nevada swings Kara happily as the couple dances to the fading music of the steel band. Happy Independence Day Morada !!! Lisa Stone stands atop a giant crocodile made with palm fronds and mangrove leaves as the float comes into view. The crocodile's eyes, made from chunks of black coal from the mines, seem to move back and forth, and his jaws open wide, showing sharp gleaming white teeth made from empty snow-cone cups from the zoo. As the float passes onward, the swishing of a long tail sweeps the field clean. Jon Garfield stands under a plaster coconut tree at the other end of the float. Several real coconuts are scattered around the base of it, secured to the float so they don't roll off. A cardboard silhouette in the shape of a stalker is partially visible behind the tree. Lisa Stone jumps off the crocodile and into a stream running down the middle of the float, which is made of crumpled blue paper. As she jumps in, several wads of paper fly out, creating a splashing effect. Jon Garfield grabs a vine hanging from the tree and swings over to the stream to join Lisa, where they begin to "splash" the crowd by tossing wads of the crumpled blue paper. Then they wave to everyone as the float passes out of sight. Wegarius Hodge dashes to his float and jumps on it as it begins across the field. Wegarius Hodge stands on a float underneath a banner that reads, "Guess Who I Am!" Weg faces the back of the float, which has wings and several rows of seats with an aisle down the middle. Wegarius Hodge wears a beatific smile as he uses a microphone to speak to the passengers in the plane. He then adjusts the hem of his dress, wiggling slightly as he pulls it to mid-thigh. Weg takes a detached seat belt and buckles it above his head so all the passengers can see, and pulls the strap to tighten the belt. He is oblivious that no one is paying attention to him. Wegarius Hodge brings out a rolling cart and goes down the aisle between the seats, pretending to hand soft drinks to the passengers. He continues to smile profusely as he does so. Wegarius Hodge returns to the front of the float and puts the cart away. He takes the microphone again and stands beside a television that has song lyrics flashing on the screen. Wegarius Hodge leans back, indicating the Air Morada logo with his hand as he passes the bleachers. He blows a kiss to the spectators and waves, much like a homecoming queen. Wegarius Hodge directs the driver to remove the float from the field. Savannah Reynolds recites: "'We have some things for spectators, and Prizes to give out!" Savannah Reynolds recites: "'Courtesy of the King, we have something for everyone who attended and contributed." Savannah Reynolds recites: "First, though, we will present the awards to the top 3 floats!" Savannah Reynolds recites: "The judges votes are being tallied...3rd place witll get 10K, 12.5K for 2nd place, and 15K for 1sts prize!" Savannah Reynolds recites: "OK, The winners of 10K and a lot of laughs: Chance and Kara!" Chance Nevada recites: "We'd like to donate the winnings to the Center" Savannah Reynolds recites: "'Ray! Ray Krantz! Come get your prize for 2nd place!" Ray Krantz recites: "I would like to donate this to the Center. But I can't because i'm poor and Jesse and Nina are going to break my legs if I dont pay them back." Savannah Reynolds recites: "OK, now let's all cheer the float our judges chose for First Prize: Is she still here?" Savannah Reynolds glances around. Savannah Reynolds beams happily at Esmeralda Beaujolais. Savannah Reynolds recites: "'Esmeralda Beaujolais!" Savannah Reynolds recites: "And now some souvenirs of Independence Day!" a small souvenir replica of the Moradan Flag It reads: Happy Moradan Independance Day! Millenium Parade 2000!