_________________________________________
     /      -1999 RenFaire Talent Contest-     \
     |             -June 19, 1999-             |
     |  Recorded & Edited by Aubrey McMichaels |
     \___http://pages.prodigy.net/aubreymcm/___/

Eve Roquelaure says, "All contestants will perform in the order according to the list."
Eve Roquelaure says, "If you're not here for your turn, you'll be skipped."
Eve Roquelaure says, "You can perform skits, songs, poetry, jokes...whatever."
Eve Roquelaure says, "But whatever it is, it's got to be tasteful and fit for
 consumption."
Eve Roquelaure says, "There is no limit on group size."
Eve Roquelaure says, "You can have as many, or as few, people to a group."
Eve Roquelaure says, "However, each of you may be in only ONE group."
Eve Roquelaure says, "You can't perform with two."
Eve Roquelaure says, "Only one member of each group needs to sign the list."
Eve Roquelaure says, "Prizes will be awarded to the top three groups."
Eve Roquelaure says, "Any questions on the rules, ask now."
Eve Roquelaure says, "Now, we'll need some judges. At least 3 volunteers please, but
 I'll take up to 5."
Eve Roquelaure points at Honey Templeton.
Eve Roquelaure points at Joy Nalewi.
Eve Roquelaure points at Derrick Speed.
Eve Roquelaure points at Serena Tomoe.
Eve Roquelaure says, "Each performance is limited to a maximum of 10 minutes."
Eve Roquelaure says, "One more judge, please, raise your hand."
Shalie Hodge raises her hand.
Eve Roquelaure exclaims, "Thanks, Shalie!"
Eve Roquelaure says, "All judges should rate each groups' performance on a scale of 1
 to 50."
Eve Roquelaure says, "Judges can REPORT their scores to me at the conclusion of each
 performance."
Eve Roquelaure says, "Now, if you'll all please settle down, we'll give our first
 contestant a moment to breath..."
Kara McLoud promptly hyperventilates.
Eve Roquelaure asks, "Kara, will you be performing alone, or with a group?"
Kara McLoud says, "Alone."
Eve Roquelaure grins at Kara McLoud.
Eve Roquelaure exclaims, "Please welcome our first contestant, Kara McLoud!"
Eve Roquelaure grins at Kara McLoud.
Kara McLoud says, "I"m not certain you would call it performing..I am going to tell a
 tale about my ancestors."
Kara McLoud curtsies.
Kara McLoud gets a large, ancient-looking square of finely woven green silk with tiny
 white spots from inside her white leather backpack.
Kara McLoud says, "For over 1000 years, the McLoud's ancestral home has been Dunvegan
 castle in Scotland."
Kara McLoud says, "This is a story about one of the very first chieftans of the McLoud
 clan."
Kara McLoud recites:

    "Malcolm McLoud was a great chieftan and a noble warrior, and he searched high and
 low, all over the land to find a bride."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "When he found her, she was a very beautiful fairy maiden."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "The two were married and at once hurried home to Dunvegan castle."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "Time passed, and although the couple was happy, Malcolm's wife longed for her
 home."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "Malcolm told her she could return there, but not before she had borne him a heir."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "The time came and a child was born to the couple.  There was great joy and
 rejoicing"

Kara McLoud recites:

    "Malcolm's wife viewed the time with joy and also some sadness because she knew she
 would be leaving."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "The night of the great feast, accepting the child into the clan, Malcolm walked
 his wife to the loch and kissed her goodbye."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "He returned to the castle and found a great feast laid out in honor of his son."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "Venison, duck, goose, all sorts of dishes were laid on the tables and the ale
 flowed freely."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "Maiden had been chosed as nursemaid to the young child and she watched over him
 while she slept."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "She wished to join the party and, after all, the child was sleeping....so she
 covered him and went to the Great Hall."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "After she left, the child stirred and began to cry."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "No one could hear him over the party, except for his mother, the fairy."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "She came to her child's side in the form of a shadow, and percieving that he was
 cold..."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "Began to weave in a blanket from the finest green silk."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "In the meantime, in the Great Hall, Malcolm noticed the nursemaid, and immediately
 commanded her to retrieve the child."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "She ran quickly to his chamber, and snatched him up."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "When she did, she noticed the child was wrapped in a new silk blanket."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "As she walked into the Hall, faint music could be heard"

Kara McLoud recites:

    "It was joined my singing from the fairy folk who had come to see the child"

Kara McLoud recites:

    "They sang about the child and about his new blanket"

Kara McLoud recites:

    "When they finished, Malcolm took the blanket from the child and addressed the
 assembly"

Kara McLoud recites:

    "The fairies had proclaimed that this blanket would guard the McLoud Clan."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "It would give the great power in time of need."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "The chieftan had but to wave it, and they would be delivered."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "Malcolm lived a long a prosperous life, as did his son.  They never had need for
 the fairy flag."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "But A time came when the Campbells laid siege to the McLoud clans."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "The chieftan, being desperately outnumbered, called for the flag."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "He waved it and instantly the McLoud's were filled with new strength and they
 defeated their enemy"

Kara McLoud recites:

    "The flag again saved the Clan from famine when disease threatened the cattle some
 years later."

Kara McLoud recites:

    "Today, the original flag may still be found in Dunvegan castle, locked away,
 waiting for it's final call."

Kara McLoud says, "And that is the story of the fairy flag of the McLouds."
Kara McLoud curtsies.
Joy Nalewi asks, "Kara, is that a piece of the flag?"
Kara McLoud shows a large, ancient-looking square of finely woven green silk with tiny
 white spots to you.

******************************************

Eve Roquelaure exclaims, "Our next contestant is Elise Evans!"
Eve Roquelaure grins at Elise Evans.
Elise Evans steps forward.
Elise Evans smiles and says, "I would like to thank Julie Karasik for her permission to
 perform the following item."
Elise Evans walks to the cauldron and leans a sign against it which reads ~~ Boil't
 Beets an' Haggis ~~ (a Recitation).
Elise Evans smiles cheerfully and says in her broadest brogue ...
Elise Evans recites:

    "I am Sam.
     Sam McTaggis.
      
     Mi'lord, would ye like some boil't beets an' haggis?"

Elise Evans raises an eyebrow disdainfully.
Elise Evans recites:

    "I would not."

Elise Evans furrows her brow, then asks brightly ...
Elise Evans recites:

    "Would ye like them on a boat?
     Would ye like them with a goat?"

Elise Evans folds her arms and turns away.
Elise Evans recites:

    "In sooth, I wouldna, couldna, on a boat
     Nay, I wouldna, couldna, with a goat
     I dinnae like boil't beets an' haggis
     I dinnae like them, Sam McTaggis."

Elise Evans grins slyly.
Elise Evans recites:

    "Not if your boat was in a moat?
     Or if the goat gave ye oats?"

Elise Evans harumphs grumpily.
Elise Evans recites:

    "I wouldna, couldna, in a moat
     I wouldna, couldna, with some oats
     I dinnae like boil't beets an' haggis
     Even served by you, McTaggis!"

Elise Evans gets a distant look on her face as she ponders.
Elise Evans recites:

    "Wouldst thou on the ocean blue?
     Wouldst thou if t'were in a stew?"

Elise Evans looks a bit frustrated about something.
Elise Evans recites:

    "I wouldna, couldna, on the ocean blue
     I willna eat it in a stew
     I dinnae like boil't beets an' haggis
     *Please* leave me alone, Sam McTaggis!"

Elise Evans seems a little offended, and confused.
Elise Evans recites:

    "But why? That haggis is fresh, the beets are red
     Do ye wish to be starved 'till ye are dead?
     See here my lovely sheep
     She's et so much, she's gone to sleep
     Please try my boil't beets an' haggis
     I swear they're good, or I'm not McTaggis!"

Elise Evans recites:

    "I dinnae like boil't beets an' haggis
     They make me roil, they make me gaggis
     I wouldna do that to my sheep
     I wouldna eat them, not even to sleep
     I *do not like* boil't beets an' haggis
     Not even served by you, McTaggis."

Elise Evans peers around curiously and says in a hopeful tone ...
Elise Evans recites:

    "Not even if I beg?
     Even standing on one leg?"

Elise Evans glares across the cauldron and cries angrily ...
Elise Evans recites:

    "Not if you beg,
     Even on your *only* leg!
      
     Lad, your beets be watery mush
     Your haggis worse than winter slush
     I willna touch them with this hand
     I willna have them on my land."

Elise Evans scowls threateningly.
Elise Evans recites:

    "Now get ye gone, and now I say!
     Or with my hounds you'll spend the day."

Elise Evans looks startled and gulps.
Elise Evans recites:

    "Yipe!  I run, I flee
     Mayhap these viands are not best for me!"

Elise Evans curtsies deeply, then collects her sign.

******************************************

Eve Roquelaure exclaims, "Ok, guys, you're up!"
Travis Millerz recites:

    "This play is entitled "The Bomber""

Travis Millerz recites:

    "The playwright wishes it known that this play was written in January of 1995,
 fully three months before the bombing in Oklahoma City."

Travis Millerz recites:

    "The part of Guard Number One is played by Chris Skyhawk, Guard Number Two is
 Sabrina McCloud, and the Bomber is Dan Skywalker."

Travis Millerz says, "The scene is a street outside the White House. Two guards are
 standing at a gate. From offstage we hear a car pull up."
Chris Skyhawk goes to meet the car. He addresses the driver in a voice that shows the
 boredom of going through the same routine many times a day.
Chris Skyhawk says, "Good afternoon sir welcome to the White House how can I help you."
Dan Skywalker exclaims, "Hey man, I'm here to blow up the White House, boom!"
Dan Skywalker laughs!
Chris Skyhawk cuts him off.
Chris Skyhawk says, "Please be on your way sir."
Chris Skyhawk comes back on stage, followed by the Bomber.
Dan Skywalker says, "No really man, I got a bomb in my car."
Sabrina McCloud asks, "Sir, do you know how many times a day we hear that same story
 anymore?"
Sabrina McCloud says, "Every low-life in the country thinks that because other people
 are shooting at the White House, and crashing planes into it, that they have to do the
 same."
Sabrina McCloud says, "Now, you don't really have a bomb in your car, and we'd really
 rather not have to bother arresting you, and searching the car, and so on and so on,
 so please just go."
Dan Skywalker exclaims, "Hey man, you can't do this, I got rights!"
Sabrina McCloud still seems bored with the routine.
Sabrina McCloud asks, "You really want to bomb the White House?"
Dan Skywalker exclaims, "Yeah!"
Sabrina McCloud says, "Okay, I suppose we can put you on the list."
Dan Skywalker asks, "The list?"
Sabrina McCloud flips through papers on a clipboard.
Sabrina McCloud says, "There's a lot of people ahead of you for blowing up the
 president. Let's see, well, you'll have to get behind all the Senate Republicans..."
Chris Skyhawk says, "No no, that's the list of people who think they ought to be
 president."
Sabrina McCloud says, "Oh yeah. Here we go. Bob Dole, Jesse Helms, Newt Gingrich..."
Chris Skyhawk says, "No, that's the list of people who think they are president."
Sabrina McCloud says, "Oh right. Here we go. I'll put you down sir, but you'll have to
 be behind the National Rifle Association and Right to Work Committee."
Dan Skywalker says, "You don't think I'm serious, do you? Oh yeah, well, I'm going to
 bring the whole White House crashing down, right on top of the president...and her
 husband."
Dan Skywalker laughs uproariously.
Chris Skyhawk says, "Please wait just a moment there sir."
Chris Skyhawk hauls out a chart with a few marks on it and adds another one.
Dan Skywalker stops laughing.
Dan Skywalker asks, "What's that?"
Chris Skyhawk says, "It's for our own amusement sir. We keep track of how many times a
 day we hear that "president and her husband" joke."
Dan Skywalker says, "You guys are nuts man, you must be the pot smokers who did
 inhale."
Chris Skyhawk says, "This one we saved from the Bush administration."
Chris Skyhawk pulls out another chart covered with marks.
Chris Skyhawk says, "This is Dan Quayle dumb jokes."
Sabrina McCloud says, "Wow, look at this old one. "President and her husband jokes,
 1935."
Dan Skywalker asks, "Look, look man, this is getting annoying. Now either you search my
 car or I'm going to hire a lawyer and sue, you hear me?"
Chris Skyhawk says, "You have no grounds for a suit, sir"
Chris Skyhawk glances at Danny Gallagher.
Dan Skywalker says, "That hasn't stopped Paula Jones."
Sabrina McCloud says, "Okay, I'll do it."
Sabrina McCloud goes over to search the car.
Chris Skyhawk pulls a package out of the car.
Sabrina McCloud asks, "Where is it?"
Chris Skyhawk shows a package to Sabrina McCloud.
Dan Skywalker says, "In the front seat."
Sabrina McCloud asks, "You mean this package?"
Dan Skywalker says, "Yeah."
Chris Skyhawk says, "The one in the, "backseat""
Chris Skyhawk glances at Dan Skywalker.
Sabrina McCloud says, "This is a bologna sandwich sir."
Dan Skywalker exclaims, "No, that's a bomb!"
Sabrina McCloud sniffs the package.
Chris Skyhawk says, "Smells like it"
Sabrina McCloud says, "Sir, you obviously don't have a bomb, so please go."
Dan Skywalker says, "Okay man, okay, maybe I don't have a bomb, but I have some vicious
 wild animals in the trunk, and I'm going to release them on the White House grounds.
 I've got wolves, and alligators, and lions..."
Chris folds his arms.
Sabrina McCloud says, "Fine, I'll look in the trunk"
Sabrina McCloud opens the trunk and hears snarling noises.
Sabrina McCloud exclaims, "Back!  Get back!"
Chris Skyhawk says, "Those aren't animals sir, those are Pat Buchanan and Rush
 Limbaugh."
Chris Skyhawk glances at Sabrina McCloud.
Sabrina McCloud exclaims, "Down, down! No, I don't want to buy your book, get back in
 there!"
Dan Skywalker says, "No, please, I have a bazooka in my glove compartment, I'm storing
 acid in my gas tank, urk. "
Sabrina McCloud says, "That's it sir.  Please go away."
Chris Skyhawk asks, "Why don't ya just give up,pal?"
Sabrina McCloud escorts Dan to his car, and hears him drive off.
Chris Skyhawk asks, "Where do these lunatics keep coming from?"
Sabrina McCloud says, "You're telling me."
Chris Skyhawk peers off into the distance.
Sabrina McCloud hears an explosion off in the distance.
Sabrina McCloud says, "Wow...Guess he did have a bomb."
Chris Skyhawk shrugs.
Chris Skyhawk says, "It happens"
Chris Skyhawk asks, "What did he destroy?"
Sabrina McCloud says, "He blew up a public TV station, an art museum, and a children's
 hospital. They're just bombed out shells."
Chris Skyhawk shrugs.
Chris Skyhawk says, "It happens"
Sabrina McCloud says, "Oh well.."
Sabrina McCloud yawns.
Chris Skyhawk asks, "What could we do?"
Sabrina McCloud exclaims, "Not much.  SO, let's eat some bologna!"
Dan Skywalker says, "The End"

******************************************

Eve Roquelaure exclaims, "Hit it, boys!"
Danny Gallagher rides onto stage on a beautiful white horse.
John Edmiston rides onto stage on an unstable donkey which throws him off, and into a
 nearby tree.
John Edmiston exclaims, "Ow!"
John Edmiston rubs his head feeling out the new lump there.
Danny Gallagher exclaims, "Get up trusty servent! We have much to accomplish!"
John Edmiston stands up, only managing to hit his head on a branch and falling back
 down to the ground in a heap.
Danny Gallagher dismounts, and much to his surprise, his horse jumps onto 2 legs and
 runs off with the donkey.
Danny Gallagher blinks.
John Edmiston stands up werily.
Danny Gallagher slaps John on the back with his heavy gauntlets sending him hurling to
 the ground in a heap.
Danny Gallagher says, "Well trusty Jester, It looks as if we must walk to the next fair
 maiden"
John Edmiston exclaims, "How did I mangae to team up with this freak, ohhhh!"
Danny Gallagher walks to a nearby hill, stepping on John's now badly bruised head on
 the way.
John Edmiston exclaims, "buh bah tu lug buuh suhh!"
Danny Gallagher asks, "What was that?"
John Edmiston pulls his head out of the ground.
John Edmiston asks, "How in the world did I end up being your sidekick?"
Danny Gallagher recites:

    "Well, when I tried to rescue the maiden in the Rage Kingdom, I ended up killing
 most of the king's men.  So, he gave me you, to, well, um... leave."

John Edmiston says, "Oh, right"
John Edmiston frowns.
John Edmiston stands up.
John Edmiston and Danny Gallagher wander across the kingdom to a large tower with a
 dragon, thorns growing up its walls, and a fair maiden screaming.
Danny Gallagher gets a large plastic sword with ~Sir Gallagher~ printed on the handle
 from inside his beach bag.
Danny Gallagher yells, "I'll save you!"
John Edmiston grabs Danny as he was about to run off.
John Edmiston says, "I, um..., hate to point out the obvious, but..."
Danny Gallagher asks, "What is it my comical sidekick?"
John Edmiston says, "There seems to be a large dragon, the sides of the tower are
 covered in thorns, and the tower is quite large"
Danny Gallagher glances at the large tower, wait, large doesn't quite describe it, it
 was huge! No, bigger than huge, It was gigantic!
Danny Gallagher asks, "What's your point?"
Danny peers quizzically at John.
John Edmiston says, "nevermind, but I'll wait here"
Danny Gallagher shrugs and starts charging the tower.
Danny Gallagher yells, "I, Sir Gallagher will save you!"
John Edmiston sits down, shaking his head, knowing what is going to happen.
Danny Gallagher is hurled on fire back to where John is sitting who quickly puts him
 out.
John Edmiston asks, "How'd it go?"
Danny Gallagher says, "Well, I'll I managed to do was remove this scale from the
 dragon's back before he pummeled me back, oh..."
Danny Gallagher suddenly swoons and passes out for a few seconds.
John Edmiston pokes Danny Gallagher in the ribs.
John Edmiston shrugs.
John Edmiston gets a banana from inside his jester's bag.
John Edmiston eats his banana.
John Edmiston eats his banana.
John Edmiston yawns.
John Edmiston eats his banana.
John Edmiston eats his banana.
John Edmiston frowns at Danny Gallagher.
John Edmiston looks at the banana, and grins out at the audience.
John Edmiston jabs the banana in Danny's face and laughs!
Danny Gallagher stirs.
Danny Gallagher says, "oh,ITS ALL OVER I'M DEAD."
John Edmiston says, "You aren't dead"
Danny Gallagher rubs his head and checks his self out.
Danny Gallagher exclaims, "I dont like this at all,all I remember is that 6-pack
 of......Oh the dragon!"
Danny Gallagher asks, "Well....?"
John Edmiston says, "you were hurled back after removing a scale from the dragon's
 back"
Danny Gallagher asks, "Why can't I see anything?"
John Edmiston says, "because your eyes are closed"
Danny Gallagher says, "oh, I see"
Danny Gallagher starts to drift off.
John Edmiston bends slightly and slaps Dan Skywalker!
Danny Gallagher says, "I really think I am dead."
John Edmiston rolls his eyes.
Dan Skywalker growls.
John Edmiston looks at Dan Skywalker and begins to scream!
Danny Gallagher jumps up excitedly.
Danny Gallagher asks, "So, I was defeated?"
John Edmiston asks, "What did you expect?"
John Edmiston points at Danny Gallagher.
John Edmiston winks at the audience.
Danny Gallagher glances at the scale on the ground and picks its up.
Danny Gallagher exclaims, "ANYWAY, I got his scale though!"
John Edmiston seems bored.
Danny Gallagher asks, "Did you hear me?"
John Edmiston finishes draining a beer and glances at an hourglass, A new record!
John Edmiston gets an impish expression on his face and lets out a hearty cheer.
Danny Gallagher asks, "Did you hear me?"
John Edmiston asks, "What?"
Danny Gallagher says, "Come, Court Jester, let's go"
Danny Gallagher and John Edmiston leave the kingdom and enter a rocky outcropping.
Danny Gallagher spins around coming face to face with the dragon he had fought earlier.
  In one swift move, the dragon took his scale and Danny's sword, and tossed him over
 the edge.
Danny Gallagher yells, "Arghhhhhhhhh!"
John Edmiston and the dragon cringe as Danny bounces off the cliff wall.
Danny Gallagher is falling down the cliff hitting his head on all of the loose rocks
 and branches.
Danny Gallagher yells, "ow!"
Danny Gallagher yells, "Owf!"
Danny Gallagher yells, "ow!"
Danny Gallagher yells, "ouch!"
Danny Gallagher tumbles into a HUGE bush of thorns.
Danny Gallagher yells, "Oh, that stings!"
Danny Gallagher yells, "Ack!"
Danny Gallagher yells, "OH GOD!"
Danny Gallagher begins to weep softly.
John Edmiston becomes ghost white as you hear a large *CRASH!*.
John Edmiston asks, "So, come back for the scale?"
John Edmiston nods to the dragon.
John Edmiston says, "yeah, I know it, but he never listens"
John Edmiston exclaims, "No, I didn't say you were stupid, I said he was stupid,
 really!"
John Edmiston seems scared.
John Edmiston says, "Please mister dragon sir-"
John Edmiston yells, "ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
John Edmiston climbs up the cliff.
John Edmiston yells, "THE END!"
Danny Gallagher climbs the cliff.
John Edmiston and Danny Gallagher bow to the audience.

******************************************

Eve Roquelaure exclaims, "Please, give it up for Phoxi!"
Phoxi Foxx recites:

    "Speak cruel Love! What is't thou dost intend? "

Phoxi Foxx pauses for a second as though expecting an answer.
Phoxi Foxx recites:

    "Oh!  tell me, have thy Tyrannies no end?
     Though to thy Pow'r I have a Rebel been,
     May not Repentance expiate my Sin? "

Phoxi Foxx stands up and gazes in the sky as though considering something.
Phoxi Foxx recites:

    "Oh! long ere this, if I had injured Heaven, 
     So true a Convert it would have forgiven"

Phoxi Foxx looks down at her hands as though calculating.
Phoxi Foxx recites:

    "Four times the Sun his Yearly Race hath run,"

Phoxi Foxx places her hand on her heart.
Phoxi Foxx recites:

    "Since first my Heart was by my Eyes undone
     In all which time, thou scarce hast been so kind,
     To give one Minute's Quiet to my mind
      Thou tak'st from me the Relish of Delights,"

Phoxi Foxx shakes her head as though remembering a painful thought.
Phoxi Foxx recites:

    "My Days no Pleasure know, no Sleepite my Nights
     With wand'ring thoughts each Prayer thou dost profane,
     I offer to my God and mak'st them vain. "

Phoxi Foxx sighs.
Phoxi Foxx sighs.
Phoxi Foxx stares blankly into the distance.
Phoxi Foxx says, "durnit"
Phoxi Foxx recites:

    "Sometimes with Books I would divert my mind, "

Phoxi Foxx recites:

    "But nothing there but J's and G's I find
     Sometimes to ease my Grief, my Pen I take
     But it no Letters but J G will make."

Phoxi Foxx recites:

    "I seek Diversion in Company,
     But my discourse great Love, is all of Thee"

Phoxi Foxx begins to cry, her eyes filled with tears.
Phoxi Foxx recites:

    "In Sighs and Sobs, I Languish out the Night 
     And all the day, in Tears I drown my Sight
     Yet I no pity can from thee obtain,
     Thou'lt neither Cure, nor mitigate my Pain: "

Phoxi Foxx throws her body against the cauldron, as she hits her head against it.
Phoxi Foxx recites:

    "Merciless Tyrant!  Since thou wilt not Save,
     Quickly Destroy, and send me to my Grave. "

Phoxi Foxx smiles.
Phoxi Foxx bows.
Phoxi Foxx says, "THE END"

******************************************

PBR - Notice: A policeman transmits, "The C.M.P.D. requests your help in bringing
 Serena Tomoe to justice for the crime of assault."

A policewoman wanders in, and notices who Ray Krantz has accused.  She says, "Serena,
 it looks like it is not your day."  With a nod of her head, she hands Ray Krantz some
 money before taking Serena Tomoe away.
PBR - Notice: A policeman transmits, "We would like to thank Ray Krantz for capturing
 Serena Tomoe."

A look of pain crosses Eve Roquelaure's face.
Honey Templeton asks, "Our judge was arrested?"

Eve Roquelaure coughs.
Eve Roquelaure says, "Since of our judges has been aprehended..."
Eve Roquelaure says, "We'll be moving along with our 4 remaining judges."
Eve Roquelaure says, "Ms. Tomoe's scores will be removed, and not count towards your
 score."

******************************************

Angela Bond begins to softly tap a slow, rhythmatic beat upon her goatskin tambourine.

Slightly off-key, Angela Bond sings:

    "I was born in the wagon of a travellin' show
     My mama used to dance for the money they'd throw
     Papa would do whatever he could...
     Preach a little gospel, sell a couple bottles of Doctor Good "

Angela Bond begins to dance around in a small area, shaking the tambourine to the beat.
 Her feet move quickly, agile like a tiger.

Slightly off-key, Angela Bond sings:

    "Gypsies, tramps and thieves!
     We'd hear it from the people of the town
     They'd call us Gypsys, tramps, and thieves.."

Angela Bond drops her voice to a soft tone.

Slightly off-key, Angela Bond sings:

    "But every night all the men would come around
     And lay their money down.."

Angela Bond takes ahold of the hem of her sash, and twirls it around in a semi-circle
 around her. A blue mist showers out, then fades away.

Slightly off-key, Angela Bond sings:

    "Picked up a boy just south of Mobile
     Gave him a ride, filled him with a hot meal
     I was sixteen, he was twenty-one
     Rode with us to Memphis
     And papa woulda shot him if he knew what he'd done "

Angela Bond raises her finger to her mouth in the classic quiet sign.
Angela Bond says, "Ssh"

Slightly off-key, Angela Bond sings:

    "Gypsies, tramps and thieves!
     We'd hear it from the people of the town
     They'd call us Gypsys, tramps, and thieves.."


Slightly off-key, Angela Bond sings:

    "But every night all the men would come around
     And lay their money down.."


Slightly off-key, Angela Bond sings:

    "I never had schoolin' but he taught me well
     With his smooth southern style
     Three months later I'm a gal in trouble
     And I haven't seen him for a while
     I haven't seen him for a while"


Slightly off-key, Angela Bond sings:

    "She was born in the wagon of a travellin' show
     Her mama had to dance for the money they'd throw 
     Grandpa'd do whatever he could... 
     Preach a little gospel..
     Sell a couple bottles of Doctor Good "

Angela Bond begins to dance around in a small area, but now, she appears older, and her
 moves are slower.

Slightly off-key, Angela Bond sings:

    "Gypsies, tramps and thieves!
     We'd hear it from the people of the town
     They'd call us Gypsies, tramps, and thieves.."

Angela Bond drops her voice to a soft tone.

Slightly off-key, Angela Bond sings:

    "But every night all the men would come around
     And lay their money down.."

Angela Bond bows.

******************************************

Eve Roquelaure asks, "Mateo, will this be a solo or group performance?"
Mateo Milagro says, "yes"
Eve Roquelaure asks, "One or the other, which?"
Mateo Milagro says, "solo "
Eve Roquelaure grins at Mateo Milagro.
Mateo Milagro blushes a nice shade of off-pink.
Mateo Milagro smiles.
Eve Roquelaure exclaims, "Here comes Mateo!"
Mateo Milagro bows.
Mateo Milagro takes in a breath of air and slowly exhales.
Mateo Milagro frowns.
Mateo Milagro says, "Good ladies and gentlemen, my name is Sir Mateo of Seldon . . ."
Mateo Milagro says, "Heed my word, for it is one of the utmost importance."
Mateo Milagro says, "My peaceful community is threatened by the presence of  a dark
 warlord named Dra Svensor."
Mateo Milagro says, "He and his powerful army have infiltrated our neighboring
 country."
Mateo Milagro grits his teeth.
Mateo Milagro exclaims, "This man can NOT pass the boundary to our country!"
Mateo Milagro says, "He is a plague that spreads through peaceful lands, feeding from
 the innocent and stealing their lives."
Mateo Milagro says, "If he sets foot on our land, he will destroy everything that we
 have worked so hard to build."
Mateo Milagro says, "And that is something that i cannot allow to happen . . ."
Mateo Milagro says, "I cannot allow his troops to burn our crops . . ."
Mateo Milagro says, "I cannot allow them to torch our homes."
Mateo Milagro exclaims, "I cannot allow them to slaughter our people!"
Mateo Milagro bows his head.
Mateo Milagro says, "But what I also cannot do is stop him . . ."
Mateo Milagro exclaims, "Dra Svensor is too powerful!"
Mateo Milagro pauses.
Mateo Milagro says, "That is why I have come to you, good people of Morada."
Mateo Milagro exclaims, "I am asking . . . no, begging you, with all my heart, PLEASE
 help my people and join me in the fight against Dra Svensor!"
Mateo Milagro exclaims, "PLEASE!"
Mateo Milagro says, "For if you don't . . . my people will surely die."
Mateo Milagro hangs his head.
Mateo Milagro grins.
Mateo Milagro bows.

******************************************

Eve Roquelaure asks, "Berana, you're next! Will this be a solo or group performance?"
Berana Gregory says, "Me, and Jon and Lisa and Ami"
Eve Roquelaure exclaims, "Hit it, guys!"
Jon Garfield recites:

    "Tonight we will perform a play called, "Tears Behind the Laughter," starring Lisa
 Stone as the maiden, Berana Gregory as her sister, Ami Stuart as the priest, and
 myself as the jester."

Ami Stuart recites:

    "Solstice day and all are merry.
     All save I, I alone tarry.
     Long at table and quick to retire,
     For in my youth my highborn sire,"

Ami Stuart recites:

    "His eldest daughter to an eldest son
     Was to be wedded, and a feud undone.
     In youthful pride I did undertake
     To unmake this made marriage for true love's sake."

Ami Stuart recites:

    "Hearken now to my tale of woe.
     Behold!--it is as it was long ago.
     Here the bride and her sister, the jester and all
     Stand as before within the Great Hall!"

Ami Stuart exits.
Jon Garfield juggles some balls and makes silly faces, trying to get the maiden to
 laugh.
Lisa Stone sniffles.
Lisa Stone weeps softly.
Lisa Stone suddenly runs upstairs to her room.
Berana Gregory follows her sister upstairs.
Jon Garfield sighs.
Jon Garfield recites:

    "I do my best to make her laugh,
     But 'tis not enough, not by half.
     Yet, to me, 'tis no surprise,
     For who can laugh at one who cries?"

Jon Garfield takes off his mask, wipes away a tear and sniffles, then replaces the
 mask.
Jon Garfield recites:

    "My love, my heart, belong to her,
     But the marriage I must endure.
     And as I have for so many years,
     Again I must laugh through my tears."

Jon Garfield walks off as the focus shifts to the maiden in her room.
Lisa Stone continues to weep softly.
Lisa Stone recites:

    "This day is the worst of my life.
     I don't want to be this man's wife.
     My heart beats only for the one
     Who makes this wretched life more fun."

Lisa Stone sniffles and sighs.
Lisa Stone recites:

    "Yet because he is "just a jester",
     This life of mine is doomed to fester."

Berana Gregory enters the room unnoticed.
Lisa Stone recites:

    "If only there was some way
     To stop this wedding today."

Lisa Stone turns and notices her sister in surprise.
Berana Gregory recites:

    "Maybe we can make a plan,
     For though you don't, I love this man,
     And in marriage I can take your place.
     And your dreams you'll be free to chase."

Lisa Stone smiles a little, wipes away a tear, and hugs her sister.
Berana Gregory returns downstairs, where the young man and a priest are waiting.
Berana Gregory recites:

    "My sister does not wish to wed,
     But I will marry in her stead.
     Our hearts as one we wish to make,
     For our families' honors are at stake."

Ami Stuart exclaims, "ll not give in.;A wedding?  Aye, this feud must falter,;But the
 bride's sister will stand at the altar!"
Ami Stuart holds hands with them both.
Ami Stuart recites:

    "Now hush young lovers, and steal off with me,
     Two you are now, but as one you shall be."

Ami Stuart leads them off to be married.
Ami Stuart enters the Great Hall a short time later, with the newlyweds following him.
Ami Stuart recites:

    "Rejoice, noble lords and ladies and all,
     A son of Duncan has wed a daughter of MacDougal
     This very morning in joyful bliss.
     I myself witnessed their wedding kiss.
     She and he in life united,
     Through true love, false vows are spited."

Jon Garfield runs in, panicking.
Jon Garfield flails his arms about.
Jon pants.
Jon Garfield recites:

    "Many men come, heading this way.
     Hear their dogs, they sound at bay.
     Are they friend, or are they foe?
     The answer to your question I do not know."

Jon Garfield is horrified to see an arrow speeding right toward the maiden, and he
 tries to run to her to push her out of the way, but he's too slow.
Ami Stuart turns and faces the crowd, speaking to them in an aside.
Ami Stuart recites:

    "And as I stood and watched the flurry,
     I couldn't help but want to hurry.
     But then my eyes they did betray
     That arrow flying amongst the fray."

Ami Stuart turns back to the scene unfolding in the past.
Berana Gregory gasps as the invaders burst through the doors and into the room full of
 frightened people.
Lisa Stone runs downstairs upon hearing the commotion.
Jon Garfield is horrified to see an arrow speeding right toward the maiden, and he
 tries to run to her to push her out of the way, but he's too slow.
Jon Garfield falls to his knees over the corpse of the young maiden, crying over his
 lost love.
Ami Stuart pauses as the memory fades, then turns to the crowd.
Ami Stuart recites:

    "This story may be sad to tell,
     For true love was bound to fail.
     But all was not lost that morn,
     As in the end, new love was born."

Ami Stuart bows.
Jon Garfield bows.
Lisa Stone curtsies.

******************************************

Eve Roquelaure smiles at Nina Perrson.
Eve Roquelaure exclaims, "Let's hear it for our final contestant, Nina Perrson!"
Nina Perrson says, "yeehaw"
Nina Perrson says, "hi"
Nina Perrson grins.
Nina Perrson says, "i'm doing a little piece called a day in the life."
Nina Perrson says, "anyone who has ever had the pleasure of going through high school
 should relate."
Nina Perrson coughs.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "Hi!
     My name is Laurie Candice Berringer, but everyone calls me Candi cause I'm so
 sweet!"

Nina Perrson bats her eyelashes coyly.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "Anyway, like, I'm writing my autographology.
     I know, you're probably thinking,
      "Why? It's not like she's some way-cool celeb like Jennifer Love Hewitt or Neve
 Campbell!"
     But like, my life is really hard and stuff, so I wanted to share it with you all.
     Plus, Daddy says people who write stuff make lots of money and become famous and
 might even get on really respectiful magazines like YM. "

Nina Perrson gets a dreamy look in her eye.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "The girl in my economics class says the only people who make money from writing
 are the ones who can use words with more than two cymbols. "

Nina Perrson rolls her eyes.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "She's so stupid.
     What does that have to do with me?
     I bet she's a lebanese or something."

Nina Perrson cringes.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "But like, anyways, I was born in Arlington Falls, Texas when I was little.
     I moved to Summerville, Georgia a few years ago.
     Now I go to Ophony High School. I'm a junior.
     I'm a cheerleader and I play softball.
     The ball hit me in the head once...."

Nina Perrson zones out for a minute.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "My best friend is Carli. We do everything together!
     We're like, twins and stuff.
     Except that one day when she wore Reeboks, I pretended I didn't know her that day.
 "

Nina Perrson shudders.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "Daddy says she's jail baked, but I don't think she's ever been arrested. "

Nina Perrson gets a distant look on her face as she ponders.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "I don't have a boyfriend right now.
     I do have the BIGGEST crush on this guy Chad.
     He's soooo cute.
     He drives an SUV and has blond hair and wears khakis and hemp bracelets and
 listens to the Dave Matthews Band!  "

Nina Perrson fans herself.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "I have another friend named Katie. She's really cool!
     She always knows what trend will come out next.
     She gave me a wuh-wuh-jayd bracelet. "

Nina Perrson points to her colorful WWJD bracelet.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "I don't know where that designer is from, but she says they're in."

Nina Perrson twirls her hair for a moment.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "Now that you know my background, I think the best way for you to understand me is
 to know what I do, like, on a typicful day. "

Nina Perrson clears her throat loudly.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "I have a real pretty alarm clock.
     My daddy's girlfriend Tory got it for me.
     She's four years older than me.
     A couple of years ago, her mom and dad tried to sue Daddy for stealing their
 scratched and Tory's rakes or something, but they stopped when Daddy's company paid
 them $50,000.
     My daddy wouldn't steal anyway. "

Nina Perrson pulls her gum out of her mouth, twirls it around her index finger, and
 shoves it back in her mouth.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "So, like, I set my alarm for 5 a.m. then I get up and take a shower.
     I use Herbal Sentences shampoo and conditioner, then I get out and pick out my
 outfit.
     It's usually from the Gap, Limited, or Old Navy.
     I wanna work at one of those places when I grow up, or be a vegetarian because I
 love aminals. "

Nina Perrson examines her fingernails.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "So like, then I spend a long time fixing up my face. You have to use soooo much
 make-up to make your face look natural nowadays."

Nina Perrson shakes her head sadly.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "At 7:30, my daddy takes me to school.
     I meet Carli, Katie, and the rest of the group that matters and we talk about what
 people wear and other impotent things. "

Nina Perrson looks upward pensively.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "Let's see, my first period. I had that when I was 13... "

Nina Perrson recites:

    "Oh! My first period class, yeah.
     That's economics with Coach Bigot.
     He's cool cause he doesn't give us homework.
     He says the problem with today's society is liberalism.
     I don't know what that means, but he must be right because the black-haired girl
 got mad and stuff when he said it. "

Nina Perrson smirks.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "Oh, her! Her name is Ani.
     Everyone KNOWS it's SUPPOSED to be Annie.
     She's like, too stupid to say her own name right. "

Nina Perrson rolls her eyes.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "The thing that makes me most maddest about her is she always makes fun of the
 Backstreet Boys!
     And Nick is sooo cute.
     And she doesn't like Leo or Titanic either!
     I don't even know how she has friends.
     She hangs out with my sister Rain, but Rain lives with Mommy. "

Nina Perrson recites:

    "Daddy says they're both witches with a B and he's gonna make sure they get what's
 coming to them.
     I bet it's a cake or clothes or something!
     Daddy's so sweet. He's always doing wonderful things for people. "

Nina Perrson beams happily.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "Once he said I should donate all my old fifth grade clothes to the homeless people
 in run-down countries like Africa and Canada, but I don't want those poor people in
 Wyoming to have to suffer wearing Hypercolor."

Nina Perrson winces expressively.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "So like, I have to go through a whole class with Ani.
     Sometimes she's actually nice, though.
     Like once, I indigested that we send all the people with AIDS to Antarctica so
 they can kill each other off and we don't have to find a cure anymore. "

Nina Perrson recites:

    "I heard that once when they were looking for a cure they discovered Biore
 Blackhead Strips. "

Nina Perrson crosses her eyes and examines her nose for blackheads.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "But anyway, when I said that, she said, "Oh, that'll work, genius!"
     But when I thanked her she rolled her eyes at me. How rude.
     She's like, the epiphany of unstylish.
     I feel sorry for her and stuff.
     And she has a bad influence on my sister."

Nina Perrson sighs.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "But anyway, after economics, I have drama with Miss Truck.
     She's so dumb!
     She actually wants us to like, memorize lines and act and stuff.
     Who does she think she is?!? "

Nina Perrson rolls her eyes and smacks her gum.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "Right now, we're working on some stupid play called The Impotence of Being
 Earnest.
     I'm Cecilia.
     Miss Truck says the part fits me well or something. "

Nina folds her arms and flashes a playful smile, striking a dramatic pose for all those
 gathered.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "I get to hear gossip and stuff.
     And there's this really cute guy named Brad and like, I try to flirt with him and
 stuff, but like, so do all these other girls and that bothers me and stuff because it
 just like, it does. "

Nina Perrson sighs disgustedly.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "And today, he gave me some gum and I even chewed it in front of him."

Nina Perrson 's eyes glisten with pride.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "After drama, I have yearbook.
     It's my favoritest class!
     All my friends are in there.
     I'm the people editor because I'm a good socialist.
     And like, everyone likes me and stuff."

Nina Perrson giggles.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "All the seniors are in this school sorority called HOE and they invited me to be
 in it!!
     So spirit week was insinuation week for us.
     It was sooo worth wearing my underwear outside my clothes and picking my nose
 every time someone said my name to be in. "

Nina Perrson lets out a deep sigh of contentment that seems to come from the depth of
 her soul.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "Now I'm a full-flemmed sister and I get to do stuff like drinking three kegs of
 beer in one sitting and barf all day the next day. "

Nina Perrson leans forward and whispers, "The really cool people get to go to the
 hospital for liver poisoning to get their stomach pumped."
Nina Perrson recites:

    "So all during yearbook, I basically wander around, supposably taking pictures, but
 I flirt and talk with people during all the lunches."

Nina Perrson recites:

    "My last period is English. That class is soooo boring.
     Like, we have to interrupt all these poems and stuff by like Shakesword and other
 really old guys.
     Daddy says that class is pointless and all literary interrupters are full of
 ships. "

Nina Perrson nods her head emphatically in agreement.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "So I just sit around and do something producive like twirl my hair.
     Seventeen mag says after a while it makes your hair more fuller!"

Nina Perrson twirls her hair.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "So like, after English, I have to ride the bus because Daddy is too busy at work
 with his secretary or something. "

Nina Perrson shrugs.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "It's so awful!
     First I have to ride the shuttle bus and it's FULL of redbacks.
     I don't think they've showered since 1977 and they all talk about some guy named
 Goldberg.
     He wasn't in Teen's top 10 cutest guys of 98, so they are wasting their breath on
 him. "

Nina Perrson rolls her eyes.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "So like, the shuttle bus gets to the middle school and I like, get out.
     Next I ride another bus that takes me home. It's even worse!
     I have to ride for like an hour and there are all these middle schoolers on there
 and they think they're all cool cause they wear Limited Too and Gap Junior and stuff.
     Gawd! They are only fooling themselves."

Nina Perrson shakes her head sadly.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "Then I get home and I eat my meal of the day: a breath saver. It's so yummy!"

Nina Perrson rubs her stomach with satisfaction.
Nina Perrson leans forward and whispers, "Sometimes when I'm really hungry, I'll eat an
 Altoid too. But don't tell anyone cause people might think I'm a pig and fat like that
 Ani chick."
Nina Perrson recites:

    "What I do after that is always different!
     I can either talk to my friends on the phone or go to the mall.
     It's really hard to choose cause there are just so many options! "

Nina Perrson attempts to count her options on her fingers, but gives up.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "When I go to the mall, I usually go with Carli, Katie, or Kerri.
     But I don't like Kerri as much because like she still wears scrunchies and
 everyone knows if you HAVE to put your hair up, claw clips are in. "

Nina Perrson fluffs her hair.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "So like, we go to the mall, usually for about 2 or 3 hours, sometimes longer if I
 actually buy something.
     Then I come home and talk to either Carli or Katie on the phone because I
 obviously didn't have enough time the rest of the day. "

Nina Perrson smooths her eyebrows.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "Then I talk to Daddy and I go to sleep!
     Unless Dawson's is on, of course."

Nina Perrson recites:

    "As you can see, my life is really hard and stuff, and you shouldn't judgemental me
 just because I'm cute and fashion orientated and stuff. "

Nina is admiring herself again.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "But, I should probably go because if my friends found out I actually wrote
 something instead of going through my Delia's catalog, they'll kill me!
     Plus, Carli called a little while ago and said Chad wants to shack me or
 something!
     Whatever it means, I'm sure it's good. "

Nina Perrson giggles gleefully.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "I love you all!
      ...except those of you who are still stuck in the trends of 1998. "

Nina Perrson shudders.
Nina Perrson recites:

    "Leave you with one final word of advice..."

Nina Perrson recites:

    "Be yourself!"

Nina Perrson bows.

******************************************

Eve Roquelaure says, "Ok, special treat for you guys.."
Eve Roquelaure says, "While I'm tallying up the scores you get one performance to
 enjoy, no scores necessary."
Eve Roquelaure exclaims, "Desserae StBlair!"
Desserae StBlaire jumps up excitedly.
Desserae StBlaire exclaims, "hi!"
Desserae StBlaire recites:

    "::ahem:: this is an original poem written by me. Jus to entertain you guys!"

Desserae StBlaire recites:

    "It's called "Embarrassed"."

Desserae StBlaire recites:

    "I feel like...this tall,
      the smallest height of all!
     But not to small to see,:I'm just as big as me!"

Desserae StBlaire recites:

    "I think I just turned clear,
     Watch out though, I'm still here!
     To show you, I guess I'll speak
     But my voice is a tiny squeek!"

Desserae StBlaire recites:

    "I think I'll run away...
     Alright! I will! Okay!
      There's some space beneath your chair,:You'll hardly know I'm there!"

Desserae StBlaire recites:

    "The end"

Desserae StBlaire bows.

******************************************

Eve Roquelaure exclaims, "First off, let's show the judges our appreciation!"
Eve Roquelaure exclaims, "Honey!"
Eve Roquelaure exclaims, "Joy!"
Eve Roquelaure exclaims, "Derrick!"
Eve Roquelaure exclaims, "Shalie!"
Eve Roquelaure exclaims, "Thanks, judges!"
Eve Roquelaure says, "As a show of my appreciation, I'll be giving the judges one free
 chance each to dunk me, about 10 minutes from now."
Eve Roquelaure grins.
Eve Roquelaure exclaims, "And now, for the winners!"

Eve Roquelaure says, "In third place, and winner of a $5000.00 merchant gift
 certificate......"
Eve Roquelaure exclaims, "Elise Evans!"

Eve Roquelaure says, "In second place, and winners of $10,000.00 gift certificates...."
Eve Roquelaure exclaims, "Berana, Jon, Lisa, and Ami!"

Eve Roquelaure says, "And in first place, the winner of a $20,000.00 gift
 certificate....."
Drumroll...
Eve Roquelaure exclaims, "Nina Perrson!"