Quotes and Random Acts of Random Here one will find Quotes that struck me as humorous or just plain odd. Similarly, one will find here ACTions or other anomalies that just didn't make sense, or were, as before, just plain odd. On to the Quotes... Quotes People On People in sexual embrace, thrusting Hard and Fast, Oiled up and Screaming in ecstasy. "Heh you should go to Armaxis house and cut the connection to his S key on his keyboard." - Grhim's Player on How To Screw With People Selandriel says, "Sukara and I share a special bong." report I'm looking at a dead Chaosinvoker, his name is ..well, ridiculous. He's in his thirties, still in his heavy backpack. (Insert Report Sent Message) SEND[Andraste] If ridiculous was only a viable criteria ::sigh::... Blades yells, "Halp! Halp! The kobolds are everywhere and i'm just a helpless little dark elven boy." Berkana says, "That's okay, someone kick me in an invasion and when someone said stop kicking Berkana, I said I wasn't kicking anyone." The Grand Poohbah says, "I have no idea what you're talking about and quit bleeding on my floor." (Someone We All Know) whispers, "We have squid in our freezer. A big box of it. The person in front of my mother in the checkout line left it there, and the bagger put it in her bag." People on Pink parts. You know the ones. "The wear of pink does not mean Briars is interested in men." - Briars, on the wearing of pink. Kakurat yells, "we dont want order we want to kill pink fuzzy things" Paisely shows you a precious pink toy porcupine, which she is holding in her right hand. Preciously pieced from pink paisely patterned parts, this partially pastel pet peers about with phospherescent peach-colored pearl eyes. > Paisely put a precious pink toy porcupine in her pink purse. > Paisely just closed a pretty pink paisley-patterned purse. People on Places for adventurous exhibitionists. An angry lawn gnome exclaims, "I just sit here in a fixed position and decorate a lawn! How am I sposed to know anythin about anythin?!" People on The Amulet Kaseopea: "If you have anything to say to me, Teveriel, come and say it to my face, although you didnt seem to mind when you were moaning and writhing beneath me as we worshipped Ivas together! Now stop thinking to me." Teveriel: "Excuse me?" Somersby: "oh yeah, dying is great, pee and poop yerself, then someone drags ya around all bloated, lovely" You: "hm." Plumbley: "That's what I was thinkifying too!" You: "Dear me." Witcheaven: "Whew.. where did that rainstorm come from?" Ysri: "The Sky." Notran [subdued]: "'buying silver wands at bank....duped or empty no problem exchange for 700 pleaseremove my shield" You [subdued]: "He said please, someone go remove his shield!" Serpentile [subdued]: "well where is you shield" Serpentile [subdued]: "haha" Cigamlooc [subdued]: "he said please." People on Miscellaneous Topics Sharkal says, "I just hate being gang banged when those people want thier ring back" Voraviel says, "I'm swirly, like ice-cream." A jungle troll chieftain mutters, "Trar'rt trast ar karm larlorirw slorlurarbr our'r." (This translates, roughly, to "Your balls will make a tasty treat." "Our'r" is an odd construct that usually translates to "Your" in Trollspeak, though it does not adhere to the typical trollspeak mechanics.) Soulpieced says, "Is it just me, or has role playing and net ettiquite actually gotten worse since HSN" Filifor says, "/med my back;The silvery bag is covered overall with a pattern of small triangles, all worked in a silvery mithril thread. A fine legend is stitched across its front, reading, "Loot Bag." The container's age is uncercertain, for it looks like it has seen more moons in its existence than is possible. Yet, the bag still has strong seams and good lines." > Filifor coughs. > Asarious glances at Filifor. > Filifor taps a roomy mithril-trimmed bag. Tarakan says, "I'm always amazed at my ability to see any armor or article of clothing and instantly recognize its source metal or material, no matter how exotic." Iahn whispers, "We Are Dyslexia Of Borg. Futility Is Resistant. Your Ass Will Be Laminated." A grizzled old warrior says, "Cheese ain't bad." You hear the voice of Iceven say, "the rabbit the peach ate the magic plum who threw his hair at me neck then my eye fell out so you understand right troll lelor" "When I first heard the idea I HATED it. I screamed and ranted, till I saw how tit would work." - Aelsidhe on Premium (isn't that a crazy typo?) Announcement: 3 hours from now the screamer disappears. that's 7:45am central. ...moments later... Announcement: Oops. Please ignore that, (and this). Tarkisis whispers, "mmhm.. if all the young ladies were locks on a gate, I'd be the key--insert and rotate.. Roll your leg over.. " Idiots on Various Things that vibrate. (Nimu holds her head on with scotch tape) (Moronobini chews her peanuts thoughtfull, thinking about all the secret woes rogues face that mages and others never see, like DEATH) Demoronus exclaims, "undisease FAST 178 disease!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" [A comment (erroneously) made in reference to the Pennant Chase mechanics.] (Ashliana doesn't like it because it rewards only fast typing..but oh well. (this can't be viewed by your IC chars.) Bonar: "sorry for the ooc but does anyone know where I can find a script to get to the landing...sorry again" You hear the subdued thoughts of Dalind echo in your mind: "oompa loompa dipity dee im in tsc come sing with me" Person: "this flower girl wants me to join her secret group of invisible ninja warriors" (Wiggledunk looks deep into his own eyes and says "Ye know brother I think yer whacked.) Person asks, "will you do us all a favor and show us your ninja skills by flippin off the tree unhurt?" Person says, "and land safely" Kleopatra [subdued]: "Buying anything egyptian TTM please" Clueless says, "Bah, i dunno, just know i was stunned for bout 50 rounds it seems like.. with a lil arm boo boo"' Twitamaria: "The otta kick ye otta the game ye thief...I trying to heal and ye stealing from me. Tis a most cowardly thing to do" (Nevrek's Note: I really wasn't robbing her. Ask the Master at Arms..heh.) Person says, "can i send for some shields" Nevrek wonders, "Can I send for some punctuation? Maybe a working Shift key?" [Great use of ACT.] (Person OOC Always when I'm into something good) And, yes, even Nevrek makes mistakes... ...unfortunately... Kokiko: "SWEET HOME ALABAMA, WHERE THE SKYS ARE SO BLUE SWEET HOME ALABAMA, LORD IM COMING HOME TO YOU" Delyorik: "Um" Lokirro: "Go back to the turnip farm!" Nomadhealer: "what the hell is alabamba?" (This is where I fumble a REPORT. Remember when Fisdan mixed an ACT and a THINK? Sort of the same here, except I'm not at SilverGate, and I'm reporting something.) You: "Someone needs to have a talk with this one. Kokiko: "SWEET HOME ALABAMA, WHERE THE SKYS ARE SO BLUE SWEET HOME ALABAMA, LORD IM COMING HOME TO YOU"" You: "EGADS! DISREGARD THAT!" Pallon: "heh" Delyorik: "Nice move, monkeyboy" Eyla: "very smooth" You: "It's too early to be filing reports to the local authorities." Rasur: "This is where I say,Ahh,please stop screaming in my head,right?" Nomadhealer: "yep it is Rasur" [Private (Danay - subdued)]: "Can't be as bad as me singing It's Friday, shake your booty in front of a crowd in the park. ;)" You: "Nothing to see, or hear. Go about your business." Random Acts of Random Yaps sits down. > Yaps leans forward. > Yaps pops his rod into his mouth and smiles. ["This Guild is Bullshit."] from Kisaku [Cleric Guild, Meditation Room] Sanded, unpolished wooden planks cover the walls. The room seems neither hot nor cold, bright nor dark, simply an extension of existence. Grey cotton pillows have been piled in the center of the room, provided for kneeling and contemplation. Obvious exits: northeast, southwest. >med You kneel down and begin to meditate on your lot in life. You are not able to enter a meditative trance. Perhaps you should seek another place to meditate. [Differences in Duty] You say, "I must return to the shrine itself to ensure it is not defiled." > You nod to Sayori. > Sayori nods. > Sayori says, "I have to piss." > Lady Sayori just went west. > You stare at nothing in particular. You swing a filthy black rolaren backsword at a decapitated skeleton! AS: +294 vs DS: +229 with AvD: +38 + d100 roll: +10 = +113 ... and hit for 8 points of damage! Blow to the head causes the decapitated skeleton's ears to ring! Roundtime: 5 sec. You snicker. You beam! > You nod to Neverfound. > You say, "There you are." [Around YOU!] A sudden change in the air pressure around you seems to momentarily suck the oxygen out of the air around you. [Shameless.] You ask, "Mind if I pick you up?" > You peer quizzically at Ferry. (Sayori rubs her onion on her neck, purring softly.) The earth shifts and sways beneath your feet like a drunk weaving down a staircase. > Lord Plur just arrived. Liaea the Florist Liaea asks, "What pretty little posy are we making for you this eve?" > Nevrek says, "I'd like a bundle of Luukosian Deathvort, please." ON HEALING: HANDS Nytemare asks, "Berylla, available for a minor hand job?" > Nytemare says, "that didn't come out right" > Berylla grins. > Berylla says, "um" > Berylla coughs. > Nytemare laughs! > Berylla says, "sure but don't tell my husband" Working Too Hard A kobold gatherer hurries in babbling gleefully! > A kobold gatherer snatches up a severed kobold arm! [Illustrated Wagon, Interior] The interior of the wagon is sparse and drab, the only color provided by the dull reddish brown stains on the floorboards. You also see a beaded curtain, an illustrated wagon, a services sign, a mirror, a boldly lettered notice and a tattoo display. Also in the room: GameMaster Elderak Obvious exits: none. >tap wago You tap an illustrated wagon. > Elderak groans. > GameMaster Elderak entered an illustrated wagon. GameMaster Elderak just arrived. A zombie snatches up a severed zombie leg! The zombie gurgles, "Nowww me feast innn style!" Kuromaku waves a tuna on rye, no mayo around. (After making an estimate on when something would be finished...) Banthis spies a flying pig in the background. Brauden loads a slimy bug into his crafted maoral crossbow. Brauden is revealed from hiding. Brauden fires a slimy bug at you! AS: +0 vs DS: +45 with AvD: +25 + d100 roll: +54 = +34 A clean miss. Not even close. (Some people just can't help being...whatever the hell it is Clove is.) Clove smiles briefly before an odd look transfixes his face, his eyes screw up tightly, and his head nods wildly as he violently emits a loud series of sneezes, "AFK, AFK, AFK!!" House Aspis will be glad to know GameMaster Mindra knows what a Dust Bunny is. Mindra works her fingers under her dust bunny and scratches her head. > You say, "Who would have thought a dust bunny was headgear.." > Mindra takes a fluffy dust bunny off her head. > Mindra says, "oof" > Mindra says, "I've been house cleaning" > You say, "That explains it." > You grin. > Mindra says, "must have happened when I was cleaning under the bed" > You say, "You should use a feather duster instead of your head." [Maernstrike Caverns, Tunnel] The pear-shaped objects that occupied other parts of the cavern line the floor. These stand empty now. Cracked and jagged pieces from their tops are scattered across the ground as if something fought its way out of their interiors. Beside the eggs are heaps of gnawed bones. On the very top of the bone-pile lies the skull of a human child. Obvious exits: northeast, southeast. >look egg The egg is brightly colored, and it is as delicate as glass. >kick egg You stub your toe trying to kick the egg! >kick egg You stub your toe trying to kick the egg! kick egg >You stub your toe trying to kick the egg! "DEATHLY ILL" [Wehnimer's Sewer, Nexus] Dim light filters downward in all directions. You also see a giant rat and a giant rat. Obvious exits: north, south, east, west, northeast, northwest, southeast, southwest. >stanc o You are now in an offensive stance. > A giant rat tries to bite you! ..AS: +5 vs DS: +27 with AvD: +26 + d100 roll: +98 = +102 ...... and hits for 1 point of damage! ... A feeble blow to your right arm! You suddenly feel deathly ill as your body is wracked by a virulent disease! >heal You seem to be in one piece. ....Maximum Health Points: 23 ..Remaining Health Points: 22 ..You are feeling pretty good. ....Maximum Spirit Points: 9 ..Remaining Spirit Points: 9 Diseased! Taking 0 damage per round. Dissipating 1 per round. Deathly ill, indeed. Suddenly a large group of burly giantmen appear and wrestle Tuffnuts to the ground. "Awright, Tuffnuts!" barks the leader. "Come along quietly now, and you won't get hurt!" Why we don't bring Web Sites into the game... Gandis: "Yes, well, I sat there in the shadows and watched you beat that poor elven lad with Juspera...and I say, what comes around, goes around." You: "Eh?" You: "Beat who?" Gandis: "that poor elven noble in the new found villages..the one you two so rudely beat." [Private] Ellowin: "i think they are refering to Juspera's page. she has you and her tweaking the elven aristocrat in the humor file." You: "Ta'Illistim is hardly Newly Found. It's many times older than this, the Landing. He was also not Poor, but an Aristocrat, and he was beaten for his rudeness." You: "Tell me why I should endure his repetitive slanderous words, and calling me racially disparaging names." Gandis: "Yes, two battle hardened people, beating on a defensless aristocrat as he tries to go about his day..it was rather discusting." You: "Heh." You: "I'd appreciate you not speculating on my hardness in the future." from Femereff: >report Shoeshine Underdogg arrived at 10:53 am....... look, its the mild mannered shoeshine boy. SEND[Khaladon] We have no telephone booths, so he won't be able to change into that fierce superhero :-) Seriously, we'll look at it. A Featured Selection: Plumbley Jansima: "Is there any Voln Masters outthere i really need one right now" You: "Voln Master .. isn't that an Oxymoron? " Belisar: "How so?" Jansima: "Is there any Voln Masters outthere i really need one right now i need to take a moment of his time please" Plumbley: "It's the bestest ox ever, even if it's not so smart!" You: "Well, Voln servitors are slaves to Voln's mission of killing off the undead." Belisar: "Everyone is a slave to one mission or another *mental shrug*" Plumbley: "Releasification makes undeadlies happy!" You: "It most certainly does not, Plumbley." Plumbley: "It does so, honest it does!" You: "Voln's monastery robs the undead of their second chance at life." Belisar: "A life without will? where's the life in that?" You: "Have you climbed into the mind of any of those Undead sorts who you are 'releasing'?" Plumbley: "No no, it releasifies them and makes them glowy and happy and sends them to where there's lots and lots of pie!" You: "Do you know they are without will?" You: "Come now, Plumbley.. haven't you heard those spirits cry?" Belisar: "ever try to play dice with one?" Menalaeus: "They hang around here don't they?" Menalaeus: "They must be enslaved..." Plumbley: "They're so happy they cryificate!" You: "No, they're sad that they've been denied their second chance at life." Plumbley: "I never ever saw a happy undeadly!" You: "Imagine it, you're walking down the street and boom! You trip on a stone and fall, breaking your neck. That's horrible, isn't it?" Plumbley: "I didn't mean to, honest!" You: "But, then, through some miracle or other, you're able to come back and be with your bestest friends again." Plumbley: "That's why I give the Lorminstra ladies shiny rocks!" You: "What if you ran out of rocks?" Jagoros: "I think I'm going to vomit-ificate. " Plumbley: "Then I would releasify undeadlies to get more!" You: "What if there were no more rocks, anywhere?" Plumbley: "Then I would never ever trippify on a rock and breakify my neck!" You: "Damn you, Plumbley!" More to come... This page dedicated to The Jarlik of Lanthar Road [Wehnimer's, Lanthar Rd.] Lanthar Road leads east and west here, serving as a passage from the local inns and warehouses bordering the riverfront district, and the center of Wehnimer's Landing. You change direction to detour around a stray jarlik as it sniffs at a patch of grass growing between cracks in the cobbled pavement to one side of the road. You also see a rough wooden gate. Obvious paths: east, west.