Star Wars Dorks As mentioned, Brakian's player and I discuss, basically, who would kick whose ass: Darth Maul or Darth Vader. Here's another thought for you all, kids. Who would win in a fight between the Death Star, a huge ..fully armed and operational.. space station ("That's not a moon..") or UNICRON .. a giant, planet-sized Plant Eating Transformer? Send your thoughts to me via Tell it Like it Is! Note: Occasionally I'll have a blank line in the IM. It's an Action, like smiling or smirking, but the bracket-things I use are also HTML tag fragments, so they're lost. Nevrekin Skywalker: I'm reading that Darth Maul will be in Episode 3. Darth Nuggets: ::nod:: The joy of cloning. Nevrekin Skywalker: And will likely fight Vader for the emperor's second.. Darth Nuggets: ::nod:: Course. Nevrekin Skywalker: Which would be a hella good fight, because Darth Maul's a shaging ninja, but he's nowhere as strong with using the Force. Darth Nuggets: Vader has to get the title Darth from somewhere. Nevrekin Skywalker: Darth Nuggets: Is a closet Star Wars dork Nevrekin Skywalker: I used to have this argument with other friends. Nevrekin Skywalker: The who would win thing. Darth Nuggets: Vader wins. It's a foregone conclusion. Nevrekin Skywalker: It's tricky, since Darth Vader wasn't at his peak in the latter episodes. Nevrekin Skywalker: Nah, that aside, you know. Nevrekin Skywalker: It seems that Vader would get his ass RAVAGED by Maul, in comparison. Darth Nuggets: Nah. Nevrekin Skywalker: But chances are, if this fight happens, Maul had a huge part in making him like that. Nevrekin Skywalker: No no, really, look at it. Nevrekin Skywalker: Vader's not nearly as physical. Darth Nuggets: "The force is strong in this one, as it was with his father before him." Nevrekin Skywalker: I know, Vader is hella strong with the Force. Nevrekin Skywalker: But even with that strength, Maul has amazing combat skills. Nevrekin Skywalker: If Maul fought Vader as Vader was in Episode 6, think about it. Nevrekin Skywalker: Damn good chance that Vader would lose. Nevrekin Skywalker: But... Episode 3 is ..of course.. long before that time. Darth Nuggets: Vader doubted the Dark Side. Darth Nuggets: He was in his decline. Nevrekin Skywalker: Mmmhmm. Nevrekin Skywalker: Let's say episode 4, then. Darth Nuggets: When Vader takes the Lord of the Sith Mantle, he's at the height of his power and conviction. Darth Nuggets: And, in Last Hope too. Nevrekin Skywalker: Episode 4, when he's on Leia's ship. Nevrekin Skywalker: You know, tear up everying inch of this ship sort of stuff. Darth Nuggets: shag, he could wave his hand and Maul would be wagging his tail like a little shaging puppy. Nevrekin Skywalker: Ayep. Nevrekin Skywalker: So with Vader's power, but obvious physical lack in latter episodes.. versus Maul's extreme physical prowess, but failure to manage much more than the Push and telekinesis... it's a toss up. Darth Nuggets: Vader was responsible for the massacre of almost all of the Jedi Knights. Nevrekin Skywalker: Force or no Force, Maul's a ninja. Only way I see Vader beating Maul is when he was younger and not half as shagged up. Nevrekin Skywalker: poop, he's on a respirator, definately lacks one hand, probably a foot and some guts. Darth Nuggets: And, ya gotta figure, in Episode 6, not only was Vader's faith in the darkside waning, but he had been trapped in his armour for years. Darth Nuggets: And, he was fighting his son. Nevrekin Skywalker: That's why I'm saying 4 instead. Nevrekin Skywalker: Episode 4 Darth Vader was the poop. Nevrekin Skywalker: Still, he's no wear the physical specimen Maul was. Nevrekin Skywalker: Erm. Where. Nevrekin Skywalker: Darth Nuggets: He was still all armoured up, but, his faith in force, and his cause, was unwavering. Nevrekin Skywalker: Somehow combined Nowhere Near into .. no wear. Darth Nuggets: I speak bonehead. Darth Nuggets: Knew whatcha meant. Nevrekin Skywalker: Eh? Bonehead? Darth Nuggets: Yer denying it? Nevrekin Skywalker: You calling me a bonehead? Heh. Darth Nuggets: At the moment. Darth Nuggets: You said "no wear." Nevrekin Skywalker: Look at it. Luke was almost a pussy(cat) with the light sabre. Darth Nuggets: Not in Jedi. Nevrekin Skywalker: Hm. I don't know.. Darth Nuggets: He had five years between Empire and Jedi, hunting for Solo. Nevrekin Skywalker: It's hard to say, because Luke was also strong with the Force, but clearly not that much a fighter. Darth Nuggets: And, most of that time, he was alone, working on sabre poop, and mastering the force. Nevrekin Skywalker: Which is to be expected due to lack of training partners, among other things. Darth Nuggets: Ithink Vader vs. Maul is when Vader's gonna lose his hand. Nevrekin Skywalker: Probably. Nevrekin Skywalker: And probably get that gash in his head. Darth Nuggets: And begin his descent into being locked into the arrmour. Darth Nuggets: I mean, hell, he hunted the JEdi Knights. He got shagged up. Nevrekin Skywalker: Run through like Qui-Gon, put him on the respirator, then somehow kill Maul. Darth Nuggets: Nah, the armour happened over time, or it should. Darth Nuggets: He was the guy who killed the Jedi, so it's fitting. Nevrekin Skywalker: Think about it, though. Darth Nuggets: Part of his damnation. Nevrekin Skywalker: They're going to want some sort of horribly visible, symbolic link to what Vader will become. Darth Nuggets: The hand will work. Nevrekin Skywalker: Vader's mask is symbolicly Vader. Darth Nuggets: Though, they might do something more horrible. Darth Nuggets: But, they could do it in better ways, too. Nevrekin Skywalker: Oh, surely. Darth Nuggets: Though, slashing up his face would work. Darth Nuggets: And, suffice to piss him off enough that he could take Maul. Nevrekin Skywalker: Hey, there's a thought. Mask to cover up the gash. Darth Nuggets: His decline to what he was in 6 took a long time. Nevrekin Skywalker: Go to 4, though. Darth Nuggets: If it happens in one fight, with Maul, that'd piss me off. Nevrekin Skywalker: But Maul is capable of that. Nevrekin Skywalker: That's what I'm saying. Darth Nuggets: Yeah, but, it would shag up the story. Nevrekin Skywalker: If Maul can't compare to Vader's grasp of the Force, well.. Nevrekin Skywalker: Story? Like in the books? Darth Nuggets: Vader could NOT take out the entirety of the Jedi alone, without getting hurt. Darth Nuggets: If Maul is solely responsible for shaging him up, well... That's just wrong. Nevrekin Skywalker: I don't think Vader singlehandedly stood there and killed each individual Jedi. Darth Nuggets: I don't either. Darth Nuggets: But, he did kill the majority of them. Nevrekin Skywalker: Hell, that might come before the Maul fight, the destruction of the Council. Darth Nuggets: It's been stated in several of the books. Darth Nuggets: I need to run to the store soon. Got a hankering for some chicken nuggets. Nevrekin Skywalker: Heh. Those kick ass. Nevrekin Skywalker: I'm going to put this up on my site, since people love Star Wars dorks. Nevrekin Skywalker: I'll change your name. Nevrekin Skywalker: To protect the innocent. Darth Nuggets: We could debate this all day. But, I promise ya, I won't waver very much in how I think the Star Wars plot could go. Nevrekin Skywalker: I'll name you ... Bob Hopeless. Darth Nuggets: Nah, name me DarthSaine Nevrekin Skywalker: Hm. Darth Hope? ::snickers:: Darth Nuggets. Darth Nuggets: SWe played in a post-Jedi Star Wars RPG campaign once... Darth Nuggets: Darth Nuggets! Darth Nuggets: Hell yeah. Nevrekin Skywalker: Aight, Darth Nuggets. Nevrekin Skywalker: Darth Nuggets: My character rediscovered the secrets of the Sith. Darth Nuggets: Fell to the Dark Side... Darth Nuggets: Fought Skywalker... Darth Nuggets: Got his arm cut off... Nevrekin Skywalker: Didn't I see that in episode six? Nevrekin Skywalker: ::grins:: Darth Nuggets: Swore revenge, and recreated the Sith High Council. Nevrekin Skywalker: Ah. Yes. Darth Nuggets: We played a Star Wars bad guy campaign. Darth Nuggets: It rocked. Nevrekin Skywalker: I wish Chewie as a Jedi. Darth Nuggets: So... I did a lot of research. Darth Nuggets: We had a Wookie Bounty Hunter who dabbled in the force... Darth Nuggets: He died, though. Nevrekin Skywalker: Just because, you know.. he'd catch his hair in the lightsabre, and all that.. he'd be a singed shag carpet. Darth Nuggets: I killed him, in fact. Darth Nuggets: He made fun of me after Luke kicked my ass. Darth Nuggets: So, I chopped him into puppy chow. Nevrekin Skywalker: Lightsabres would be fun stuff. Since, you know, I'd never pay a speeding ticket. Nevrekin Skywalker: "Excuse me, officer? I was speeding?" ..fwooom... "Are you sure?" ..whooz whoooz... Darth Nuggets: ::snicker:: Nevrekin Skywalker: I wouldn't pay for happy meals, either. Darth Nuggets: ::snicker:: Nevrekin Skywalker: I'd be like "Bitz, gimme that." ..whooz whooz.. Darth Nuggets: Gimme my chicken nuggets, or else! Darth Nuggets: ::fwwozh:: Nevrekin Skywalker: "I demand of you the large fries, and the vanilla milkshake. Prrrronto." ..fwhom whooz.. Darth Nuggets: God, haven't talked Star Wars in a long time. Darth Nuggets: I find your lack of cooperation disturbing. ::raise hand:: ::choke:: ::snap:: Nevrekin Skywalker: Boy howdy! Darth Nuggets: Now, who will give me my vanilla milkshake? Nevrekin Skywalker: ...hehehe... I've always wanted to say that. Darth Nuggets: ::snicker:: Darth Nuggets: You hafta incluse the Nuggets comment, though, to put "Darth Nuggets" into context. Nevrekin Skywalker: "I require fifty unmarked American dollars change for the five dollars I have offered unto you, to pay for the happy meal in question. And I want the Hot Wheels car." ... whooz fwaah woom.. Nevrekin Skywalker: It'll all go up, yeah. Nevrekin Skywalker: Everything except my Font, since so few people have Nosferatu. Nevrekin Skywalker: Not like you can see it anyhow.. ..whooz whizz shoooom.. Darth Nuggets: I am not the customer you were looking for. Now please, give me my happy meal. ::hides the first happy meal behind his back:: Nevrekin Skywalker: "You are surely mistaken." ...fwoom.. "..I have already paid for the car." Darth Nuggets: You don't need to see my receipt. Nevrekin Skywalker: "This is not the customer you're looking for." Car Salesman: "..This isn't the customer we're looking for." Darth Nuggets: God, I hafta buy Star Wars now. Nevrekin Skywalker: You don't own a copy?! Darth Nuggets: I did. Darth Nuggets: Left it when I moved. Nevrekin Skywalker: Geezuss H. Christ! Darth Nuggets: YEah, well. Darth Nuggets: I woulda taped it off TNT, but I hate commercials. Darth Nuggets: I wanna create my own version, too. Darth Nuggets: I want to fixe the Greedo scene back to the original. Nevrekin Skywalker: Create your own Star Wars? Darth Nuggets: Well, just edit that one spot. Nevrekin Skywalker: Fix Greedo, make Leia's slave bra fall off.. you know.. Darth Nuggets: Otherwise, I like the Special Edition. Darth Nuggets: Nah, if I wanna see Leia naked, I can just watch The Man With One Red Shoe. Nevrekin Skywalker: Huh? Darth Nuggets: She gets all half naked and stuff. Darth Nuggets: In these leopard spot underwear, too. Nevrekin Skywalker: I don't know what to think of this. Nevrekin Skywalker: I guess my most pressing question is .. What year is that movie? Nevrekin Skywalker: ::snickers:: Darth Nuggets: ::Raise eye:: Darth Nuggets: 80 something. Darth Nuggets: Around the same time as Splash. Darth Nuggets: Tom Hanks comedy flick. Nevrekin Skywalker: This explains the single shoe. Darth Nuggets: Big, Splash, and that one all came out within 3 or 4 years of each other. Darth Nuggets: Maybe all in the same year, I'm not sure. Nevrekin Skywalker: Crazy. Darth Nuggets: Big was 83 or 84. Darth Nuggets: So, it came out between Jedi and Empire. Nevrekin Skywalker: Remember this, kids. Carrie Fisher NUDE XXX NAKED!!! ...heheh, look, I'm turning into Porn Site Man, like in my e-mails. Darth Nuggets: ::snicker:; Nevrekin Skywalker: Wait, not MY e-mails, the ones I GET...heh. Darth Nuggets: There's prolly real nudie pics of her out there somewhere. Darth Nuggets: Mmmm hmmm. Darth Nuggets: ::is skeptical:: Nevrekin Skywalker: Yeah, she was cute back in the day. You know she posed, Polaroid style. Darth Nuggets: Man, this McD's close to where I work sells 50 piece nugget buckets. Nevrekin Skywalker: Dude. That's fifty chicken McNuggets. Darth Nuggets: HEll yeah. Darth Nuggets: I'd be the Scrooge McDuck of chicken nuggets. Nevrekin Skywalker: That's ungodly. Darth Nuggets: I could swim in em. Nevrekin Skywalker: How much is that? Darth Nuggets: Prolly 10 bucks. Nevrekin Skywalker: Sounds like twenty bucks of Nuggetty goodness. Nevrekin Skywalker: It'd take me days to kill that. Darth Nuggets: 20 is 4.79 Darth Nuggets: So, I'd say the bucket is 8-10 bucks. Nevrekin Skywalker: Probably closer to Ten to twelve. Darth Nuggets: I've been jonesing for nuggets all week. Nevrekin Skywalker: Chicken McNuggets are made with crack, you know. Darth Nuggets: ::shrug:: So? Darth Nuggets: I'm Darth Nuggets. Darth Nuggets: I may have to make that SN now. Nevrekin Skywalker: Cracken McNuggets didn't pass the concept stage. Nevrekin Skywalker: Darth Nuggets sounds like a Star Wars Porn Name. Darth Nuggets: ::snicker:: Nevrekin Skywalker: I'd be Darth Wang. Darth Nuggets: Hang on for a sec, so I can get on my Master SN. Nevrekin Skywalker: Darth Diggler. Nevrekin Skywalker: YES! Darth Diggler! Darth Nuggets signed off at 12:37:12 PM. Darth Nuggets signed on at 12:37:33 PM. Darth Nuggets: There we go. Nevrekin Skywalker: Hm? Darth Nuggets: ::mutter:: Someone already has it. Nevrekin Skywalker: One would not expect that. Nevrekin Skywalker: User Darth Nuggets is unavailable. Darth Nuggets: Had to make do with Sith Nuggets. Nevrekin Skywalker: That's really surprising. Nevrekin Skywalker: Who the hell, other than your whack ass, wants the name Darth Nuggets? Darth Nuggets: Besides me? Darth Nuggets: No idea. Darth Nuggets: No profile either. Nevrekin Skywalker: Crazy. Nevrekin Skywalker: You could still be Darth Filet-o'-Fish. Darth Nuggets: Darth Grimace? Darth Nuggets: Darth Hamburgler? Nevrekin Skywalker: Darth Hamburglar...heheh. Darth Nuggets: Darth Fryguy Nevrekin Skywalker: Darth Birdie. Darth Nuggets: Who was the shaging pirate from way back? Nevrekin Skywalker: Captain Morgan. Darth Nuggets: Not the Rum pirate. Darth Nuggets: The old McD's pirate. Nevrekin Skywalker: Hm. Nevrekin Skywalker: No idea, Gramps. Nevrekin Skywalker: ::snickers:: Before my time. Nevrekin Skywalker: Darth Nuggets: ::chuckle:: Nevrekin Skywalker: Alright, I'm heading out. Darth Nuggets: Aiight, Darth Bonehead. And thus ends our tale, in a distant galaxy, a long time ago... UPDATE: The 50pc Chicken McNugget Bucket costs $9.95