Speedy the Magic Snail of Zul Logoth This Pseudo-Log might be finished. I've decided to put up the few Pseudo-Logs I have loitering about, waiting to be finished. This log, when/if complete, will have one unfortunate licker's adventures after tasting a snail. A snail with amazing hallucinogenic properties. Yeah, I know he isn't that great, but I wasn't trying to make The Amazing Work of Art Snail, I wanted to make The Happy Funny Silly Snail. [Zul Logoth, Agate Tunnel] The toadstools in this short section of tunnel have been arranged to throw bands of colored light on the ceiling. Red, amber, green, blue, silver, and light grey bands arc across the ceiling. Despite the bands of light, the tunnel is dimly lit. A wide entry yawns in the wall to the north, and a silver sign decorated with the shapes of musical instruments sits on the wall above the entry. On the east wall, a brass sign hangs next to a thick iron door. Obvious exits: southwest. > Bob just arrived. > An overgrown snail crawls in, its underbody rippling to provide locomotion. >touch snail As you attempt to touch an overgrown snail, it retreats, startled, into its shell. After a minute or so it slowly emerges. > Bob rubs a pair of black linen pants. > Bob grumbles. > Bob just went southwest. >look snail The overgrown snail crawls around slowly on its single lubricated foot, leaving a slime trail behind wherever it goes. Its grey body has a greenish undertone, and its skin is rough and raspy. Perched atop its back, the home of the overgrown snail is a thick, rounded shell nearly three feet in diameter. The shell spirals into a central point. The overgrown snail peers out from a pair of grey, lidless eyes set upon twin stalks. Some individual with too much time on his or her hands has painted a green, red and black tartan design on the snail's entire shell. > An overgrown snail stretches its stalks as high as it can and peers around as if searching for something. >think You rub your chin thoughtfully. > A young dwarven girl walks up to an overgrown snail and drops a piece of food. "There ya go, Speedy!" she says cheerfully. She walks away, and the overgrown snail devours the food ravenously. >lick snail You bend over and give the overgrown snail a good lick. It tastes bitter! >"Blech. You say, "Blech." > Your tongue begins to tingle. >bli You blink. >"What the.. You say, "What the.." > Your tongue feels warm and your vision begins to blur. A pleasant feeling floods your senses. It does not seem odd that your face feels like it's an orange. Better resist that urge to peel yourself! >grin Your face feels like it's wiggling. > A flurry of colorful lights begins to shower from somewhere behind you, the world before you exploding in sudden surges of chartreuse and mauve-chased fuchsia. Was that a puce butterfly? No it wasn't, that was a cat. > An overgrown snail crawls away, leaving a trail of sticky, clear slime in its wake. > How'd you get on the ground? >stand You're already standing. >scrat my head It feels like spiders are crawling on your head! >scream You scream like a little halfling school girl. > An overgrown snail floats by your head on its way to the ceiling. Super Snail, away! > A series of multicolored explosions slowly expand in the distance, leaving bright trails of colors only a blind wizard would wear. >drool Like a dog. > The warm, tingling sensation in your tongue subsides. Wait, no it doesn't. > Something's on your shoulder. >inv You are holding an overgrown snail in your right hand. You are wearing nothing special. Where are your clothes? You have a yellow canary on your shoulder. > A yellow canary cheeps cheerfully in your ear. >eat can You bend around and try to bite your rear. >snic You snicker, snort, snoofle. >eat canar You lean your head to the left and take big bite out of the canary. Tastes just like mom used to make! That was the last bite. >glance You are holding nothing at this time. > * Nagasaki has been vaporized! > * Nagasaki just bit the dust! > >look [Zul Logoth, Crystalline Cavern] The northwest corner of the crystalline cavern is bathed mostly in tints of sapphire and white due to the preponderance of blue toadstools in this section. Other colors are evident, though, due to the refractions from the dome's crystals. A long, thin opening interrupts the crystals high on the north side of the dome, and the sound of wind coursing through a tunnel emanates from that area. A wide entry occupies the west wall, flanked by two huge furs, and a marble table abuts the north wall. You also see an overgrown snail. Obvious exits: south, east, southwest. How did you get here?! > scrat my head There are spiders on your head. In your head. Wiggle wiggle. >look snail The overgrown snail crawls around slowly on its single lubricated foot, leaving a rainbow trail behind wherever it goes. Its groovy body has a greenish undertone, and its skin is glowing slightly, leaving pretty trails with every movement. Wobbling atop its back, the home of the overgrown snail is a thick, rounded shell nearly three feet in diameter, which slowly expands if you stare at it. The overgrown snail peers out from a pair of grey, lidless eyes adorned with a handsome pair of horn-rimmed spectacles. Some individual with too much slime on his or her tongue has painted a pink and purple paisely design on the snail's entire shell. > An overgrown snail crawls away, leaving a trail of sticky, clear slime in its wake. >gasp You inhale sharply, with such force your chest feels minty fresh for all of two seconds. >'Come back! You exclaim, "Come hither, sweet snail!" > You hear an overgrown snail yell, "Okay!" > An overgrown snail wiggles in, its chubby underbody rippling to provide crazymotion. > An overgrown snail scratches absolutely nothing, since it isn't itchy and does not have fingers with which to scratch any itches it doesn't have. >bli You close your eyes, but you can still see. Your eyelids have gone invisible. Alright, I'm lying, you just thought about closing your eyes, but you didn't actually do it. Try again. >bli WP: 56 - AcD: 90 + d100 roll: 58 = 92 Success! You blink. >yelp Yipe yipe yipe! >e You can't do that while laying down. >stand >e You stand up. [Zul Logoth, Crystalline Cavern] Water courses out of a pair of small metal pipes to cascade over several rocks before filling a shallow pool. Dwarves come from all directions to fill containers, urns, cups, pitchers, and other water-bearing vessels. The pool reflects the crystalline dome, bringing in the colors from overhead and dispersing them on the walls and rocks in an enthralling display of rippling rainbow hues. Splashed water covers the floor around the pool, making footing somewhat slippery. You also see a marble arch. Obvious exits: north, south, west, southeast. >yell The snail has done something to me! Reality has blurred! Run for your lives, I've gone mad with my very moderate amount of power!! You belt out, "I have a special button my grandmother gave to me for safe keeping which holds the power of the Temple of Koarsbawls! Irek'Tor the Wicked seeks the button to enslave the underpandas!" >"That didn't come out right. You say, "That didn't come out right." > An overgrown snail crawls in, its underbody rippling to provide locomotion. >glanc snail You glance at an overgrown snail. > An overgrown snail crawls in, its underbody rippling to provide locomotion. >An overgrown snail crawls in, its underbody rippling to provide locomotion. An overgrown snail crawls in, its underbody rippling to provide locomotion. > An overgrown snail crawls in, its underbody rippling to provide locomotion. > An overgrown snail crawls in, its underbody rippling to provide locomotion. An overgrown snail crawls in, its underbody rippling to provide locomotion. > An overgrown snail crawls in, its underbody rippling to provide locomotion. >yell AAHHHH! An overgrown snail crawls in, its underbody rippling to provide locomotion. You belt out, "Irek'Tor is here!" >An overgrown snail crawls in, its underbody rippling to provide locomotion. An overgrown snail crawls in, its underbody rippling to provide locomotion. > look [Zul Logoth, Crystalline Cavern] You hear some water dropping into a pool. You smell Dwarves. There are pretty colors. You hear more water splashing, and it's slippery. You also see a marble arch and a barrel of candy. Obvious exits: north, south, west, southeast. > You just blinked, though you didn't intend to do so. >sniff candy It smells like a barrel of candy. Sorta. > >"Where are all the snails? On your back. >bli You blink. > An overgrown snail snickers. An overgrown snail snickers. >An overgrown snail snickers. > An overgrown snail snickers. An overgrown snail whispers, "Shhh!" > An overgrown snail snickers. >groan You groan. >inven You are holding a canary skeleton in your right hand. You are wearing an overgrown snail, an overgrown snail, an overgrown snail, an overgrown snail, an overgrown snail, an overgrown snail, an overgrown snail, an overgrown snail, an overgrown snail, an overgrown snail, and an overgrown snail. >'How'd you all get on me? You ask, "Are snails 'in' this season?" >inve You are holding a canary skeleton in your right hand. You are wearing nothing special. Where are you clothes? > A barrel of candy peers down at the floor, inspecting it closely, then straightens up and shakes its contents. >lean barrel You lean against a barrel of candy. >take candy "Get your hand out of my pants!" a dusty miner yells as she scowls at you. > The barrel of candy is apparently a dusty miner of the dwarven persuasion. Whoops. > A dusty miner acts as if she has just spotted something of great interest a distance away. She quickly heads in that direction. > Your brow furrows in anticipation of your next command. furr brow > Told you! >"Whoah. You say, "Whoah." > A young dwarven girl walks up to an overgrown snail and drops onto the ground. "There ya go, Speedy!" she says cheerfully. She stays perfectly still, and the overgrown snail devours the girl ravenously. >"Holy shit! Dude, this is a "Family" game. > An overgrown snail burps. More to come...