For Your Perusal: It'll Never Happen
This is where I'm going to put up a compilation of things that will never happen in Elanthia. I'm even going to start a contest of It'll Never Happens, once I figure out HOW to do that. Hm. Ah well. For now, you can suggest additional It'll Never Happens via the "Tell It Like It Is" link. I fully plan on having a lot of people featured here.
On to the Show that Never Happened...
Mnar says, "It's the cute furry things that get me most. Sure, I like long walks on the beach, quiet candle-lit dinners, and passionate whispers on silken sheets, but it's the cute furry things that keep me going."
Danay says, "Damn he's hot."
Ciston says, "Oh, it's no problem, really. 'Sharing' is practically my middle name."
Plur asks, "I need help. I can't stop. It's like the booze reaches out to me, you know?"
Valthrae confidently says, "Hey, don't knock it until you've tried it. I think Dhe'nari poison sperm tastes awesome."
Silvean sadly says, "Yes, I know I am a fraud, and I am ready to come clean. I started something I couldn't finish, kept others who could have finished it from taking up the cause, and kept all the House Chesylcha funds for myself. They'll be up on eBay at some point, for just $17 a million."
Onyxflame exclaims, "Once .. twice .. and... I'm SOLD to the highest bidder!"
Setzuna says, "I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks."
Iscikella says, "I'm glad that stupid Thurfel thing is over."
Plumbley exclaims, "I didn't mean to lose my virginity! Honest!"
Gretel says, "Thou may not see this, my rash, which has turned to deepest crimson. Lord Harun Taleteller, the Lord of my Heart, assures me, his lemon, that it is nothing worrysome."
Starsnuffer asks, "Haven't you ever heard 'It's not how big it is, it's how you use it.' before?"
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Starsnuffer sighs.
Titaniia says, "It's alla big joke. I knows I can't sing."
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Titaniia snickers.
Giantphang says, "We seated ourselves at the Hardy Heather table at Wayside and had a delightful discussion detailing the modern proliferation of food poisoning claims against wealthy private home owners within the Ta'Illistim borders."
Nevrek asks, "How much vood vould a voodchuck chuck if a voodchuck could chuck vood?"
Mustafo says, "i actually lost my thumb when it got caught in Shoshonna's bodice"
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Mustafo says, "the laces strangled it black and it fell off a day later, she felt guilty and married me"
Strayla asks, "Do I look fat in this bad attitude?"
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Strayla is admiring herself again.
Blades says, "Look, tu-tu."
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Blades turns around.
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Blades strikes a heroic pose.
Setzier says, "Even after I gave Sheru his flea bath, he kept scratching so much he'd have little bald spots. I don't know what to do with him. At least he stopped nuzzling my crotch to say 'Hi' in public."
Dissipate asks, "Who am I?"
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Dissipate screams!
Armaxis says, "Ssssally ssssellssss ssssseassshellsssss by the ssssssseassssshore."
Devestior says, "Breganda, Bregandia, whatever."
Jubuls asks, "Ever seen halflings ..you know... do it?"
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You say, "No."
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Jubuls asks, "Want to?"
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Jubuls wiggles his eyebrows.
Lylia exclaims, "The hawg's all greased up an' reddy to go! LET'S GIT TA WRASSLIN!"
Briars says, "The wearing of pink does not mean Briars is interested in men. It means Briars is interested in frilly girly things that smell rosy and make Briars feel good inside."
Iscikella says, "So much is happening in Ice Mule, I'm so happy!"
Juspera says, "No."
Sammeal asks, "No, seriously, where's my fork?"
A war rat says, "I'm really just a halfling stuck in a rat costume. It's hell when I have to pee."
Thurfel says, "We were going to have multi-colored bunnies running around the island at first, but we thought people would get the wrong idea. So we went with silly monkeys."
Llearyn says, "We've decided to return to our roleplaying roots and take action against the behaviors which have compromised the game's integrity for the past five years."
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Llearyn snickers.
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Llearyn exclaims, "Just kidding!"
More to come...
