Human Resource Departments, Administrators, and Employee Assistance Programs (EAP's) have
a new challenge before them. Children from dysfunctional families, whatever the source, may grow up to be dysfunctional
adults. Some of the dysfunctional behaviors they exhibit often are admired and sought after when selecting a new
manager. Unfortunately, they can often negatively affect productivity and morale. With appropriate therapy these
dysfunctional behavioral patterns can be reversed. The challenge, then, is to recognize the behavior and get the
dysfunctional manager into a therapy program. 2
BACKGROUND OF THE DYSFUNCTIONAL ADULT
Many dysfunctional adults grew up in families with a drug addiction, alcoholism, workaholism,
or other problem. The nature of the problem is not as important as its impact on the family members. Most often
these children are brought up in an atmosphere of guilt and shame. Low self esteem and feelings of abandonment
may develop as a result of family relationships marked by erratic or abusive behavior. 3
The dysfunctional family teaches the child to behave in one of two ways. The child may try
to distract attention away from the problem through their own deviant behaviors. Alternatively, the child may try
to establish a balance, to make things appear as normal, by taking on vast amounts of responsibility to cover for
the problem family member.
Accepting this responsibility, besides robbing the child of their childhood, serves to support
the dysfunctional family members behaviors. In essence, the child becomes an enabler. Other family members, especially
the spouse of the problem family member, also may become enablers. Enablers are also often co-dependents. They
need to care for someone to soothe their own sense of inferiority. The enabler, then, contributes to the perpetuation
of the dysfunctional relationships in a cyclical fashion. The problem family member needs to be taken care of,
and the co-dependent child needs to take care of someone. Enablers are often viewed as saints or martyrs and frequently
are, or become workaholics. 2 The family is where
the child first learns about themselves and about how to express their feelings. The dysfunctional family and child
may cope with the situation by adhering to a strict set of rules that prevents open expression of feelings and
direct discussion of problems. These rules, of course, are not written or spoken. The rules, as defined by Hall
(1991) are: 1) "Don't talk about what's really going on in your family; 2) Don't trust - you'll be let down;
3) Don't feel - it's too painful, and your parents won't validate your feelings; and, most important 4) Don't question
the rules." Cauthorne-Lindstrom & Hrabe (1990) are more specific in their definition of the rules The
rules are: 1) "It is not safe to talk openly about problems; 2) Feelings should never be expressed openly;
3) Don't talk to the person you're having problems with directly - talk to a third party about it; 4) Don't make
mistakes - always be perfectly good; 5) Don't be selfish; 6) Do as I say, not as I do; 7) Always follow the rules
and be respectful of authority; 8) Don't rock the boat; and 9) Don't talk about sex." The rules, goals, values,
and beliefs resulting from these family relationships are carried with the dysfunctional, or co-dependent, child
into adulthood, and into the workplace. 2
The child receives messages from the problem family member, and from the enablers in the
family (Hall, 1991). Messages communicated to the child from the problem family member are summarized in Figure
1. Messages communicated from the enablers to the child are summarized in Figure 2. Figure 3 shows the end result
characteristics of adult children from dysfunctional homes. 2
The adult child of a dysfunctional family is not a bad person. After years of hiding behind their mask, their true
self has not fully developed. They are not unable to work in a cooperative fashion, they have never learned how
to do so. 2
CHARACTERISTICS OF PROBLEM FAMILY MEMBER
MESSAGE RECEIVED BY THE CHILD
Erratic
Consistency and patterned behavior are not normal.
Punishing
Being oneself is not good enough.
Unpredictable
Life is out of control; no way to know what's going to happen.
Demanding
Nothing I'll ever do will be good enough; I need to keep proving myself.
Unreliable/Irresponsible
Don't count on or trust anyone; protect yourself.
Figure 1: Behaviors and Messages Communicated to the Child by a Problem
Family Member. 2
CHARACTERISTICS OF
BEHAVIOR BY ENABLER
MESSAGE INTERNALIZED BY CHILD
Avoidance of emotional discussions
We don't express feelings; we pretend how we feel.
Covering up truth/excuses
It's OK to distort, to lie.
Denial of reality
We don't deal with what is really happening; we pretend.
Loyalty
Loyal behavior comes before self.
Delayed gratification
If we wait, maybe things will (belief in ability to change) get better.
Figure 2: Behaviors and Messages Communicated to a Child by an Enabler.
2
Fears losing control
Assumes viewpoint of "victim"
Fears exhibiting feelings
Exhibits compulsive behavior
Has overdeveloped sense of responsibility
Confuses love and pity
Suffers guilt
Assumes a black-and-white perspective when under pressure
Finds it difficult to relax and have fun
Complains regularly of physical illnesses
Is critical or harsh on self
Suffers from delayed grief
Lives in a world of denial
Reacts rather than acts
Has difficulty with intimate relationships
Can survive great trauma
Figure 3: Characteristics of Adult Children From Dysfunctional Homes. 2
THE DYSFUNCTIONAL MANAGER
When seeking candidates for managerial positions, often the characteristics of efficiency,
handling stress in a calm manner, control, and that "extra effort" are sought. As a result, the adult
child of a dysfunctional family is, ironically, frequently promoted into management positions. After growing up
in an uncertain environment with one crisis after another, the dysfunctional employee is particularly capable of
handling stressful situations in a calm manner. They also may learn to develop a false self or a mask of efficiency
that they can show outwardly to protect their inner-self. Thus, they are often appear as ideal candidates for managerial
positions. 2 Figure 4 compares the interpersonal
skills of the ideal manager and the dysfunctional manager. Unfortunately, the role of the manager creates the perfect
opportunity for the dysfunctional manager to create a new dysfunctional "family" at the workplace. 2
Many of the characteristics learned by the dysfunctional manager may serve the organization
well in the short run. 2 In the long run, however,
productivity and morale will suffer, and employee development will cease. 1
Many organizations are built on a rigid hierarchical structure that emphasizes adherence
to standards, policies, procedures, and the chain of command. 5 Cauthorne-Lindstrom & Hrabe (1990) state, "the resulting bureaucratic system encourages co-dependency
in managers through the system's own rigidity, emphasis on rules and inconsistent enforcement of those rules."1 Sorrentino and Hall add that the co-dependency does not end there
- it reaches down into the ranks where employees fail to develop problem solving skills and are not able to make
a decision with consulting the manager. 2,5
Management Skill Area
Theoretical Ideal Manager
Dysfunctional Manager
Communication
Exchanges feelings.
Avoids open expression.
Seeks feedback.
"Skirts issues.
Openness.
Assumes responsibility for decisions without communicating and checking.
Delegation
Trusts others.
Retains control.
Provides follow-up.
Unable to let go.
Able to relinquish control.
Conflict Management and collaboration of skills.
Able to use confrontation
Uses avoidance and accommodation as model styles.
Able to confront when needed.
Flexible.
Motivation
Understands needs of people.
Expects compliance.
Rewards performance.
Uses norms/standards to shape behavior.
Provides feedback.	
Punishes and shapes avoidance behavior on part of subordinates.
Leadership
Flexible.
Rigid
Provides vision.
Tends to get caught up in details - micro messages.
Structures tasks and organization.
Has unrealistic expectations.
Provides consideration.
Assumes caretaker rather than developer role.
Uses positive reinforcement.
Use of Power & Authority
Uses power for organizational not personal security.
Seeks control for personal gain.
Understands interdependencies.
Finds difficulty in dealing with uncertainty.
Open to cooperation when feasible.
Figure 4: Interpersonal Skills of the Theoretically Ideal and Dysfunctional
Manager. 2
ORGANIZATIONAL EFFECTS OF DYSFUNCTIONAL MANAGERS
The resulting underdeveloped employee staff can affect the organization by limiting or reducing
productivity. Morale problems develop as conflict is ignored. Eventually, job dissatisfaction, staff turnover,
absenteeism, unsatisfactory performance, and burnout will reflect the progressive nature of the co-dependency.
5
ADMINISTRATIVE INTERVENTIONS
If supervisors of dysfunctional managers recognize a problem exists, they most often mistake
it to be a management skill problem. However, seminars that teach management skills will not be effective for the
truly dysfunctional manager. 4
It is the responsibility of Human Resource Departments and Administration to be aware of
the potential for co-dependency to be an organizational problem. Trends, such as absenteeism, turnover, and consumer
complaints, need to be examined for signs of a potential problem. 5
When a department has been identified as having a problem, an assessment of the manager must
be done to determine if the problem is the result of the management style of a dysfunctional manager. Employee
Assistance Programs (EAP's) can be most helpful in making these assessments. Team building can be done for the
department at the staff level. Individually, the dysfunctional manager must be provided confidential counseling,
such as provided through Employee Assistance Programs (EAP's). It must be remembered that the dysfunctional behaviors
are not isolated as a work problem. They encompass the dysfunctional managers life. 5
Once the dysfunctional manager accepts there is a problem, counseling will help them learn
to love and value themselves. Counseling will further help them in building self-esteem, realize that no one controls
everything, and recognize their inner personal resources and abilities. 5
CONCLUSION
Frequently dysfunctional employees find themselves promoted into management positions. The
behaviors of dysfunctional managers can negatively affect the organization. Additionally, the organization can
encourage the dysfunctional behaviors of its managers. These behaviors can be corrected through appropriate counseling,
such as offered by Employee Assistance Programs. It is therefore, imperative that administrators and Human Resource
Departments learn to identify dysfunctional managers and refer them for appropriate counseling.
REFERENCES
Cauthorne-Lindstrom, C., & Hrabe D. (1990). Co-dependent Behaviors in Managers: A Script
for Failure. Nursing Management, 21(2), pp. 34-39.
Hall, F. (1991). Dysfunctional Managers: The Next Human Resource Challenge. Organizational Dynamics, 20(2), pp. 48-57.
Haas, R. (1991). Coping With Dysfunctional Managers. Supervisory
Management, 36(11), pg.
5.
Haas, R. (1991). Strategies to Cope With a Cultural Phenomenon - Workaholism. Supervisory Management, 36(11), pg. 4.
Sorrentio, E. (1991). Codependency: Management and Administrative Policy Implications. Health Care Management Review, 16(4), pp. 49-54.
