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R. L. (Bob) Craig I have never seen nor heard of a broken home that did not involve one or more broken hearts. Since broken homes are becoming more and more prevalent, broken hearts are, in like manner, more prevalent. Nothing hurts quite so badly as a broken heart. I recently heard a radio commentator make the statement that "a broken heart will go away." Quinine heals malaria; aspirin cures a headache; time helps to salve a broken heart, but it can never be completely mended. Vows are rashly made; lip service is paid but soon forgotten. "Till death do us part," is what they said. That turns out to be a long, long, time. Too long for some, and they become impatient; fertile ground for a broken hearts. "For better or for worse?" the preacher asks. "I do, I do," the so-much-in-love youngsters echo. But it turns out worse rather than better and the dread disease called divorce claims another victim. The "new morality" looks at the situation and sees lies and hypocrisy, therefore their remedy becomes a complete rejection of the marital state. Instead of taking more time and doing some investigating and disabusing the institution of marriage, they say, "The establishment (marriage) is all wrong so let's do away with it." That reasoning (?) sounds like the fellow who hears of corruption in government and decides that the only cure is to destroy the government. The "new morality" says "a piece of paper doesn't make a marriage," and they are right. It takes a male and a female who desire to live together as husband and wife; it takes an intention to build a family relation that will endure; it takes a foundation of love and mutual respect for one another; it takes hours and weeks and months of dreaming and thinking and planning; it takes a deep-rooted love and respect for God's will to prevail; yes, it takes a lot of things other than a "piece of paper" but it takes a "piece of paper" also. But with all these ingredients at hand, to satisfy the legal requirements, we get the state authorized agent (preacher, church official, J. P, state official, ship captain, etc.) to witness this couple's intention to be husband and wife; the "piece of paper" is issued and the whole thing is now not only binding in God's sight, it is legal and binding as far as law is concerned. This young lady now has changed her name and is entitled to 50% of her young lover's prosperity; their children will have a proper name, be legitimate and not be stigmatized by society for something that was not of their own choosing; they will now be recognized by all society as husband and wife -- all because of the little "piece of paper." But the true marriage is not made in a county courthouse. The divine principle is that "what God has joined together, let not man put asunder." No man or woman nor a court of law has the right, the power, to "put sunder" that which God has joined. What can we do to prevent broken homes and broken hearts? Prevention is always better than cure. How can we prevent our children from involving themselves in a situation wherein lies heartbreak? We can't know for sure, but we can put forth more effort than we have in the past. I am fully persuaded that the perpetuity of our children's marital bonds will have a more solid foundation if they see parents who love, honor, and respect one another; who work together, plan together, love together. Example is one of the greatest teachers in the lives of others that there is and it will work both ways -- for good and for bad. What do your children see in you every day of their lives? Don't answer that yet. First, look at yourself -- candidly, honestly, forthrightly -- what do your children see in your marital relationship? Is that kind of relationship what they are looking for? Another thing: start now -- don't wait until your boy or girl is about to take the fatal step and then try to impress upon them the Lord's will in regard to marriage -- about the husbands loving their wives; about the wife reverencing her husband; about the father's obligation to "provide for his own household" and to "bring them (his children) up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord;" about a mother's obligation to teach her girls, in particular, how to conduct themselves. Begin early -- with some it is already too late -- to impress our kids with the kind of teaching that makes it become a matter of conviction with them and not just a matter of law. Sit down with them and read this little article together -- it just might help a little! Try to get it over to them that for broken hearts there is no cure. Some times it's a little bitsy heart because now he can't be together with both mama and daddy. He knows something is wrong; daddy is not there to play with him or mama is not there for her goodnight kiss; he doesn't understand and his little heart is broken and it will never heal. Or it may be a daddy whose big heart is torn asunder every two months (his time to visit his own kids) when he is once again separated from the twinkling eyes and clinging hands. Or a mama, who, through some ungodly mistake that she will regret all her life, now has to make arrangements to visit with a part of her flesh; her blood; her life. Another heart is broken. And nearly always there are two grandpas and two grandmas that have to suffer silently, the pangs of a broken heart. And preachers, start teaching the sanctity and perpetuity of marriage as it was "in the beginning." It's too late to do anything about those who are already involved but it's not too late to start teaching in regard to this most important step in our young people's lives! We cannot heal the broken hearts, but maybe, just MAYBE, we can prevent one! Robert Craig
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