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Part I of II - Collections, recollections highlight 60-year marriage of Pepperell couple By M.E. Jones FEATURE WRITER PEPPERELL -- Frank and Frances Cotter are 85 and 80 years old, respectively. On Sept. 8, the couple will celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary, marking the momentous occasion with a "family-only" gathering at their home on Hollis Street. Although they have a large extended family, and an even wider circle of friends, the guest list stretches only as far as first cousins. "We had to draw the line somewhere," said Frances. The party, coordinated and supervised by their daughters-in-law, was one of many subjects the Cotters discussed one recent morning in their kitchen, a spacious, sunny room with a cozy country fireplace. The house, a rambling white colonial at the corner of Hollis and Cross Streets, was built by a man named Parker, a big landowner in the area. Citing an 1829 Assessor's map, Frank dates it to 1740 or 1760, depending on whether the original owner was the father or son. Either way, the property has an "interesting history," he said, noting that it was part of a farm known as Parker Hill. The years have been kind to this old house, and time seems to rest easily on this handsome couple, but they've had their share of troubles. Seven years ago, they lost a child. And they've had medical problems. Frank has had prostate surgery, Francis is battling cancer. She wears a wig, he wears a hearing aid. She tires easily and says she's cut back on her usual round of activities, at least for now. He moves slowly, says he's not as strong as he used to be. But they both take a lively interest in the present as well as the past, and after 60 years together are still very much in love. Twice during the interview Frank told his wife, "You are beautiful." He said it first while looking at their wedding photos. Then, out of the blue. Both times, it was clear the words came straight from the heart. Frances wasn't the slightest bit flustered. Squeezing her husband's hand, she smiled and said, "And you've always been handsome." Whether it's because he's hard of hearing, or because her memory is more nimble, Frances did more of the talking. But they told their stories together, filling in gaps in chronology, supplying a missing name. When they differed on details, it wasn't by much. They're a team. When Frances wanted to show something to this reporter, such as Frank's extensive collection of historic Pepperell postcards, he went to get it. And when they graciously offered to show a guest around the house, Frank led the upstairs half of the tour, pointing out his wife's touch in every room--the dolls she made, the pictures she painted, the antiques they found together. After 60 years, their duet plays naturally. Asked the secret of a long and successful marriage, Frances was prepared for the question. Her verbatim answer was "off the record" she said, but in summary, it went something like this (with Frank filling in the blanks): When a disagreement arises and compromise fails, somebody must make a move to retreat before things get too hot and heavy. Which one doesn't matter. The key, said Frances, is knowing "when to back off." Almost in one voice, Frank agreed. Sixty years, over half a century--so much has happened, good, bad, unforgettable, revelations and recollections of a lifetime. They met in 1939, shortly after Frank came to Pepperell as a "temp" worker, helping to clean up after the disastrous hurricane of 1938. He first saw Frances in church. "She was a hellava nice lookin' lady," he said. After they were "properly introduced" they started seeing each other, said Frances. There weren't many places to go in those days, she said--the library, social events on Wednesday and Saturday nights, and "cowboy entertainment" at Doc Davis's Ice Cream Stand. And you couldn't call it "dating" in today's terms. "People went out in groups," said Frances. Some traditions are timeless, such as meeting the folks. Joking about hers being "leery of city slickers," Frank recalls being invited to a family birthday party. Apparently, he passed muster. Two-year engagements were common, and theirs might have been longer but World War II changed the protocol. Their wedding plans were stepped up when Frank was drafted. Frances Cotton was just 20 years old when she married Frank Cotter on Sept. 8, 1941. It was a double-ceremony with Mabel Cotten (Frances's sister) and Frank Archambeault at St. Joseph's Church in Pepperell. Father Michael Burke officiated. When Frank came back from the war, he and his bride settled down in the town where she was born and brought up. They've seen a host of changes in Pepperell since then. Most of the Cotter's memories are happy ones, reflected in family mementos, Frances's handicrafts (nostalgic oil paintings of familiar local scenes, lovely reproduction Victorian dolls, gorgeous afghans), Frank's collectibles (old-fashioned toys, historic postcards, vintage stereopticons and the cards to go with them), and unique antique "finds" (furniture, fireplace screens, clocks, lamps, various whatnots) they discovered at flea markets, auctions and estate sales over the years. One wonders how the couple manages to keep so many items in such perfect condition. Many of the handcrafted toys and decorations, looking as if they'd been recently left, to be taken up later, are Frances's work. Some were made by their daughter. Everything looks remarkably dust-free, as if the big old house where four Cotter children,--Frank, Kate, Tom and Mark-- grew up was still a hub of activity. Since Frances's illness, she's moved downstairs, converting a Victorian parlor into a bedroom, with lovely flocked wallpaper and a beautiful brass bedstead that's a family heirloom. A couple of upstairs rooms are closed off, but downstairs, every room is livably luxurious. Upstairs, Frank's books and toys are arranged in barrister's bookcases in the hall. Frances's dolls are everywhere, artfully arrayed on beds, chairs, windowsills, hearths. A more recent timepiece was a son's prized possession once upon a time, a counter-carousel display case of Matchbox cars. From the paintings on the walls to a bell-pull on the wall by the stairs to a carved clock on the kitchen mantle, every artifact has a story behind it, a host of happy family memories. There have been sad times, too. Seven years ago, the Cotters lost their only daughter, Kate Winslow, who died of a brain tumor. Of the Cotters' 14 grandchildren (seven boys, seven girls), six are Kate's children. The current challenge Frank and Frances face together is Frances's illness. Diagnosed some time ago, she's still undergoing chemotherapy, which puts a crimp in her active lifestyle--temporarily, she says. Knitting, for example, one of her many interests and hobbies, is something she hasn't been able to do with one arm in a splint. Steel knitting needles were too stiff to manipulate, so she hunted through catalogues for wooden ones, a rare find. The next step: learning to knit one-handed. "I'll find a way," she said. Continued. ...back to Main party Page !!!
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