September 7, 2009

Time did not fly, but I am surprised that I haven't had an update since July. I have been trying to live frugally; as I'm having a slight cash crunch right now. Thanks Obama Recession ;-)

So I've been staying in and doing cheap things: reading books & watching Turner Classic Movies. I got into a silent movie kick: comparing Charlie Chaplin & Harold Lloyd. When I was a kid, IBM had a series of commercials featuring a Charlie Chaplin impersonator as the sweet tramp... these commercials were painful; I didn't get it when people claimed that Chaplin was a comedy genius. And the Robert Downey Jr. bio pic didn't interest me at all.

But I'd been given the wrong idea. The tramp wasn't sweet as the commercial version was. If anything, what makes Chaplin's films so funny is that his character can be a cranky wise ass with a bad attitude. In The Kid, he has the kid break windows so he can repair them for $. He fights the system and the cops... the films I watched: The Kid (1921), The Gold Rush (1925) and Modern Times (1931) are truly hilarious (with the Depression era Modern Times not providing a "happy ending" so much as 'times are tough, keep trying' ending)

And yes, Chaplin is a bit better than Lloyd, but there are times when Lloyd's anarchy (see Dr. Jack) is truly gut-busting. Harold Lloyd films I watched include: A Sailor-Made Man (1921), Grandma's Boy (1922), Dr. Jack (1922), Safety Last! (1923), Why Worry? (1923), Girl Shy (1924), Hot Water (1924), The Freshman (1925), For Heaven's Sake (1926), The Kid Brother (1927) and Movie Crazy (1932)

I did have time to read a few books, first up:

Robert Goddard's Into the Blue: This being my third Goddard novel, I knew what to expect: a current mystery enveloped in secrets of the past with a flawed protagonist always two-steps behind the villains. Like his other novels, this was good... but the weakest of the 3. And I'm beginning to note some of his crutches: It is always easy to figure out who is the villain in his novels. The hero is always a lost soul until the mystery gives them a purpose. Goddard has a good formula... but it's still a formula.

Patrick Rothfuss' The Name of the Wind : Talk about a GREAT book which I hestitate to recommend. After a slow start, Rothfuss' novel dives back into the history of his lead character. And from that point on, it's a page-turning marathon of awesome action, tragedy and danger... only to end in a cliffhanger. This is part one of a three part series... and it's painful to stop reading: but the 2nd book isn't close to being published. So who knows when readers will get the answers. Still an awesome read.

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July 20, 2009

Kelloggs is stealing my bits!

Well, well, well. Pop-Tarts is encouraging people to send in photos of the "weirdest" place you would travel with a Pop-Tarts pastry !!!!!!

Hmm, I wonder where they stole that idea from???

Look, I've got no issues with the fine folks in Battle Creek, but their Madison Avenue marketing peeps couldn't give a shout out to the originator aka the OG of PTs? That is classless/ something I would expect from Post... not Kelloggs!

It's been too long since I've posted (apologies) but I have been busy with the album coming out in the fall, and I wanted to finish this book which I've been reading for a super duper edition of
Book Reviews:

Alas, this particular novel, Quicksilver by Neal Stephenson, has been a chore to finish. Some people love it. The best way that I can describe it is the main character is Daniel Waterhouse... a Forrest Gump-esque figure who works with / battles anybody who's anybody in the late 17th / early 18th century science world of England, France and Massachusetts. Whether he's the college roommate of Isaac Newton, or watching his father and his house going up in flames in the Great Fire of London... or surviving the Bubonic Plague... or his suggestion of the name "New York" to replace "New Amsterdam" when the English gained control over the the colony... or , you get the idea. Because there are so many INCIDENTS, the story's threadbare plot doesn't have any forward momentum. I won't be continuing on to the next two books in the triology.

Past Caring by Robert Goddard is a master work of plot and character; Goddard's stories don't drag like Quicksilver. A few months ago, I raved about Goddard's In Pale Battalions, but in some ways, this book is even better. It gets off to a quicker start as the novel's desperate & flawed hero takes a job which (any reader can see) is a set-up sure to destroy his life. Goddard's books follow a formula where the past is always loaded with secrets and scandals which will haunt a flawed protagonist searching for the truth. While these books are so great, I should note that the endings are always more downbeat than triumphant.

Shroud for a Nightingale by P.D. James - my never-ending quest to find a new Agatha Christie, has lead me far & wide, but alas, no cigar. Famed British author P.D. James is a fine candidate. Her story here has many Christie trappings: a closed-room murder. One killing leading to another. A motive hidden among layers of red-herrings and obfuscation . But this story doesn't reach Christie's heights because: A. her through-line isn't a clean as Christie's aka the murder/motive/cover up are slightly lost amid the dense plotting. B. Her detective Dalgliesh isn't as color as Christie's Perot & Marple, nor is he as haunted & cursed as Kate Atkinson's wonderful Jackson Brodie from her great novels.

MUSIC REVIEWS

Dinosaur Jr. - Farm - Looking back, I didn't give Beyond the credit it deserved for being a darn good album after all those years the band took off. Farm is another sign that J, Murph & Lou probably couldn't release a crummy album if they tried. Although this new album Farm doesn't have as many classic mosh-pit pop riffage as the last one. But I am taken with the song Plans, and the joyfully dour chorus of "I've got nothing left to be, do you have some plans for me? I know you do, I know you do, I know you do-oo-oo, Lord" A passive-agressive pop classic.

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London, Amsterdam, Paris, Venezia & Roma

Back from my 2-week European breakdown. First set of highlights can be found in the updates to the Pop-Tarts page. I'll write with more in a week or so after I've recovered.

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March 22, 2009

Don't Think You Knew You Were In This Song

Getting on a plane for Europe tomorrow. My fear of flying has me obsessed with all the plane-stuff of the last week. Two small planes collided in the waters over Long Beach and crashed. A pilot for American was stopped from flying London to Chicago because he was drunk. A plane started leaking fuel mid-flight. Two planes smaked into each other at LAX while backing up from their gates.

In the words of Dr. Smith: I'm Doomed!

Book Reviews
So I'm reading all these mysteries for the last several weeks, when what happens. I get a chance to read some of the godfather stuff from Edgar Allen Poe. My personal favorite story by Poe is the Tell-Tale Heart... but he also wrote some of the first detective/mystery stories around his character C. Auguste Dupin. All the stories were set in Paris (one of my destinations on this darn trip) The first story was The Murder in Rue Morgue (B-) which I've read before, and enjoy, but [spoiler alert] the killer being a monkey is too left field for any reader to guess. The Mystery of Marie Roget (C) is more conventional, but the one I enjoyed the most was The Purloined Letter (B+). While not containing a murder, it does a good job of setting up the "hiding in plain sight" conceit which writers have exploited for a generation.

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Cinco de Mayo 2009

Drumdoles

This site is running out of room... so sooner or later, everything will move over to fittentrim.com

Tthere hasn't been many posts recently. Despite: finishing the album WHICH IS DONE, the craziness of work, planning the European tour, getting sick... it hasn't felt like much is going on. So I've had nothing to post about.

One minor update to this site, is that I now get stats: I'm pleasantly surprised by the number of hits. Thanks visitors!

I don't seem to get the hits on my book reviews: so here's an attempt to boost the numbers:

Book Reviews
Where Peachtree Meets Sweet Auburn: The Saga of Two Families and the Making of Atlanta - by Gary M. Pomerantz . While being a book that can only appeal to those with a deep interest in Atlanta's history, it brings to light the pragmatic ancestors that turned a train junction into the capitol of the New South. Reading about the pragmatic white mayors like Hartsfield & Allen who took a rather inert, yet politically savy approach to civil rights sadly reminded me of my parents & grandparents' rather passive efforts to desegregate the city. That said, even for an Atlanta history buff like myself can't wait to skip past some of the insanely detailed minor trivia. .Here's a review by Entertainment Weekly

Still Life - by Louise Penny - Since I've gotten back into my mystery kick, I've been trying to find the new Agatha Christie. While Still Life is a fine little novel, Penny's tale is not detailed in alibis or motives in traditional whodunnit mode... instead, this is a someone did it, sooner or later, we'll reveal who & why. While I guessed the killer's identity almost as soon as the body was discovered... it wasn't through solving a smartly constructed puzzle, so much as character pyschology & logistics. Still, a fine read so I'm probably going to purchase the next book in the series. Read it on Google.

Freaky Deaky - by Elmore Leonard - Not to judge too harshly, since this is the novel is going to be "the movie", etc. But it's not one of Elmore's better novels because the characters aren't smart enough. The best Leonard novels have smart (and dumb) low-lifes double & triple crossing, with action and time-crunching. Freaky Deaky's characters do double-cross... but with most of the action taking place in a mansion... and with none of the characters very bright.. well, it's just not as fun as his best . Read it on Google.

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March 1, 2009

Bailing Out the Stimulus

In a sign of a bad economy, Judd moved to Santa Monica and is the super of an apartment building complex. He pays $25/month in rent. Lucky bastard.

Books
In Pale Battalions - Robert Goddard - A great, dazzling book. If you took Pat Conroy's way of past family tragedies causing suffering on the present and combined it with Ian McEwan's British Estate / British at War books -- i.e. it's The Prince of Tides meets Atonement with a good bit more pulp thrown in. And for people who suffered through Streisand's movie version, yes The Prince of Tides is a great book.

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February 6, 2009

Fascination Exit Ramp

On Saturday, the forecasters had predicted a sunny day with highs in the 80s. Naturally, the sky was covered in clouds. But by the time I got my lazy arse to the beach, it was nice. And this is the middle of January. I'll be back in the studio on 13th & 14th to finish the album.

Books
When Will There Be Good News? - by Kate Atkinson - The last book I read by Atkinson, Case Histories was good, but this novel is just great. And bleak. The title couldn't be more apt, as our 4 main characters keep suffering worse and worse fates. Deranged killers, lying husbands, train wrecks, But damn, if you don't have faith in them to survive.

Hollywood Station - Josesph Wambaugh - Leisurely paced, sardonic police procedural which I didn't connect with. Still it was nice to read about locations and sights in my neighborhood... but what if tweakers ARE stealing my mail?!?!

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Baby New Year, 2009

Suicidal Polka Songs

Another year, another year. Tough to reflect. Almost every free moment this winter break, I spend on the new album. Currently 19 songs, but - the Señor theme song has to be completely re-done, several need minor tweaks, about I've got to re-record vocals on 16 of the them. There's the album artwork, mastering, pressing, and then releasing it. What a pain in the arse.

Here's a quick run down of the Best Movies of 2008 which I've seen:

1. Slumdog Millionaire - The most minor quibble is that the end can't match the incredible beginning with the kids... but it has it all - drama, laughs, romance, heartbreak, triumph. What else do ya need?
2. Iron Man - Again an ending weaker than the beginning, but the perfect popcorn movie.
3. Wall-E - the absolute "the first half of the movie was better", because the second half had a huge drop off, but it was perfect until he left Earth. Same could be said of Laika.
4. The Dark Knight - A million brilliant moments, but the script and story of Batman Begins was a lean-tight piece of work, and this one was bloated.

It gets dicey with the rest

5. Man on Wire - Some people have fallen in love with this film. It wasn't 'bad' but it just didn't grab me.
6. Quantum of Solace - Again it wasn't 'bad', but it may not have been 'good'. following the awesome Casino Royale, this was a forgettable affair.
7. Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Unlike with Lucas' mis-steps in the SW prequels, I didn't mind all the time this movie went off the rails. If you just turned your mind off and accepted it, the movie was a goofy big of fun.
8. Forgetting Sarah Marshall - It's okay. Superbad was great, but these guys need to put more laughs in their comedies.
9. The Incredible Hulk - A common theme of films, the first 30 minutes were really fun... then it has no choice but to become a CG fight fest. Blah.
10. Tropic Thuder - Some huge laughs, but overall rather slapdash. Affleck shouldn't have directed.
11. Pineapple Express - The foot-in-the-windshield car chase had me rolling with laughter... but too much of their jokes don't BUILD like that one did.
12. Cloverfield - Shaky cam and I don't go together. I got sick
13. Trouble the Water - the critics love this one, but again, the shaky cam got me nauseous.
14. Wanted - Noticing a pattern? The first 15-20 minutes were so fun... but then, give me a break.

Books
The Senator's Wife by Sue Miller - I'd thought of buying this book when it came out but thought: It's a girl's book. Then I got it as a gift. Good read, but still meant for women trapped in blah relationships. Grade: B

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson - Looking back, it's hard to tell exactly why this novel grabbed me so hard in the early chapters. The characters aren't especially unique and the mystery which was so gripping ends about how I guessed it would. Plus the mystery of missing Harriet starts to get solved at the 3/4 mark with the last 1/4 a tackle of the main character's personal problems which aren't as thrilling. But, I was very engrossed for the first half. Grade: B-

A Morbid Taste for Bones and One Corpse Too Many by Ellis Peters - My whole life, I've been looking for a new Agatha Christie who could offer up colorful whodunnits which I could solve. I was pointed toward these books which focus on Benedictine monk Brother Cadfael solving murders in middle ages England. But they're not so much whodunnit's as Cadfael solves murders and the reader follows along. The second book, One Corpse Too Many is much better, but I don't know if I'll keep reading the series. Grade: Bones: C Corpse: B-

Music
The Cure - 4:13 Dream - On a whim, I bought the new Cure album. It took me a few spins, but there are some typically wonderful Robert Smith melodies and pop hooks here. Any Cure fan should cough up the cash and enjoy.

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December 5, 2008

San Diego

In the new 007 film, Quantum of Solace, it's really a story of Bond moving on from the girl who ruled his soul, Vesper. Cold-hearted. Emotionless. And I suppose that's the way it has to be. You can't love someone forever if they're gone.

A tight crew of 5 went down to San Diego to root on the Falcons against the Chargers: me, G-Money, Gavin, Ginny and her boyfriend. The Falcons won.

That's called a push.

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October 19, 2008

Let All My Memories Be Gone

Apologies for the lack of posts, I am really working like a dog. On the weight front, I've been at 179 since a week after the last post; can't seem to get any lower (I just need to lose 5 pounds)

I've been working so much, that I like to just come home and collapse, but I suppose I've done "things" like the Feast of San Gennaro, LA BBQ Fest, USC/Arizona State, Canter's 60th Birthday, and a person left their car in reverse and smashed my car. Brother Matt had a business trip and the LA faction showed him around the way.

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August 14, 2008

185

Back in the dark time, I was over 200lbs. At times, I was close to 215! I still have several pants and shirts from that time; they're huge. Since then, I've been well. But for the last year, I haven't been in shape. Same old thing: I got sick, quit going to gym, etc. etc. I was able to stay in the 170-180 range but my love of Coca-Cola and sweets was building up my belly.

Long story short (too late), I've been back on my gym routine for a couple of months. I've been working on the weights more and running a bit less. But I'm at 185. I'll keep you updated.

Book Reviews

In The Woods by Tana French - Simply excellent. This book won the 2007 Edgar Award. It's a mystery but it's also a first person procedural. And a character study. I'm not sure the mystery's solution was that satisfying. The end is a general downer. And yet it's perfect.

The Replacements: All Over But The Shouting by Jim Walsh- IMHO They might have been the greatest band of the 1980s, but The Replacements were an unruly, unorganized mess. But that's no reason to make a biography of them an unruly, unorganized mess. Because underneath the mess, Westerburg's songs are really beautiful. The book sucks.

Three Bags Full: A Sheep Detective Story by Leonie Swann - A murder myster where the sheep conspire to find out who killed their shepherd. While the solution to the mystery is again on one-level a cop-out... at the same time, it is the perfect solution to a book about human nature.

TV Reviews:

The Wire - Season 5 - I'm re-watching the entire season. It's even better the second time around. And was Chris Partlow's old lady Donette, formerly girlfriend of D'Angelo & Stringer?!? But I'm more convinced than ever, that any way in which you describe The Wire, you make it sound like a terrible show, rather than one of TV's best ever. My best attempt is: "Have you ever said 'They made a movie from the novel, but the book is better?'" Well, the book is always better because it includes everything. The Wire was one of the greatest TV shows because, like a novel, it included everything.

Making News Savannah Style: A reality show about my first job... or all my jobs. It may not be good... but damn, I'm hooked.

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July 15, 2008

Company

Okay, it's been another month, let's run through it quickly.

Saturday - Ricky Gervais at the Kodak Theater - I had low expectations since The Office was so great; how could his stand-up be any good? But shut me up - it was a really good show (even if the best material was in the middle)

Books - The Garden of Last Days by Andre Dubus III- Because Stephen King was pimping this book like crazy, I gave it a try. Eh. I think the so-so review in the LA Times summed up how I felt about it.

June 29 - July 5th - Went home to Atlanta with a long side trip to Jekyll Island on the Georgia Coast.

Ran the Peachtree again - it sucks not ending the race in Piedmont Park.

June 4 - June 9 - Matt's Wedding at Seven Mile Beach in the Cayman Islands.

Dear Lord, the U.S. dollar is weak so this trip was tres $$$. But damn, if the Cayman Islands aren't paradise... I don't know what is.

From the trips, there's new photos in Pop-Tarts Eaten in Exotic Locations

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June 5, 2008

Won't you come and meet me in the present tense?

You're god-damn right, I resent the rent

Good grief, I skipped blogging most of April and the entire month of May. Let's think. I went to San Diego to hang with Liz. Was in town for the Red Bull Air Race. Also spent Cinco De Mayo in Old Town which is kinda a tourist trap. Hornblower boating. Checked out Sara, Ernest and Alexis producing the news at their station. Sara and I went bar hopping at 9am. Alexis & I went to the Mexican boarder on Cinco De Mayo. I'm sure other things have happened, but can't remember. My little grey cells are no longer Poirot like.

Not just the leases or the money spent

Movies: Iron Man was pretty good, and if you could turn your mind off, Indiana Jones was fun too.

It's the way that it keeps me from the present tense

Books: The Winter of Frankie Machine by Don Winslow was a competent thriller, nothing special.

Won't somebody meet me in the present tense

My goal of last summer was to get better (learn) the piano. I'm still not worth a lick (Southern expression?), but here's an attempt. This is a song I wrote for Travis. People of the Earth sing-along version (right click and chose 'Save As')

In the present tense
in the present tense
Won't you come and meet me in the present tense?

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April 5, 2008

Text Message Maddness

Sara sent a text message photo of Kurt Cobain's house where he shot himself... and that was the most normal text I got yesterday. Anywho--

As you can see, I wrote some bits for G-Money to do. If you go to your local Blockbuster, you'll see G-Money's new movie, Conspiracy, where he co-stars with Val Kilmer, Gary Cole and Jennifer Espisto. Poor Chris plays the only guy in the history of film to be beat up by the counter at a diner... in a scene that was called "the silliest fight scene in film history" on At The Movies with Ebert & Roeper.

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March 30, 2008

More Wasting Precious Time

Be sure to check out my photography project, Pop-Tarts Eaten in Exotic Locations;

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February 10, 2008

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January 31, 2008

Je m'appelle Incomplete

Point of time reference: Seemingly since May 07, I've been sick off and on - so I'm really out of shape. It's not that I weigh more... just that I need to get back in my routine at the gym. Because I'm sick, I'm not sleeping well: the line under my eyes are like tree rings. I dated 24-year-old New York for a while, but that's over: so who am I going to bring to Grand Cayman Island to that wedding I have to attend on 6-7-08? If you're a woman who'd like to go to Grand Cayman, write in and make your case. I'm not doing anything, yet so busy: like last night's Hawks-Clippers game, or Saturday's In Bruges preview screening.

Okay enough bitching. I have read several books the last few months:

His Dark Martials Trilogy by Philip Pullman -I've read Harry Potter, so when G-Money pitched this trilogy, I gave it a shot. The first book, Northern Lights, is a difficult read, not very fun.The second book, The Subtle Knife was a much easier read, and a better book. The action picks up and there's a chilling villian. The final book, The Amber Spyglass... eh, these books are meh.

The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss - I bought this book for brother Gavin as a Christmas present -- then read it before I gave it to him. Hilarious and strange because several of the "pickup" techniques, I've known for quite a long time. One "trick" is called "peacocking" which I did with a pair of fake glasses last summer for Marie.

The Terror by Dan Simmons -Best book of the bunch. A fascinating mix of historical fiction and a supernatural monster. The only quirk is that for a book with a deadly monster: it's not very scary. Instead just a brilliant character study with a brisk plot for 750 pages.

Born Standing Up by Steve Martin - Talk about a quick read; I read it in a few hours. A few great tales, but a slight autobiography and not enough focus on the actual jokes.

Caught Stealing by Charlie Huston - not bad. It's a pulpy page-turner, but the protagonists doesn't grab you

NP: The Avett Brothers - I don't normally listen to hootenanny records, but these guys are pretty good at what they do.

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January 2008

I want a Bit Part in your life, A walk-on would be fine
A Bit Part in your life, rehearsing all the time - The Lemonheads

I'll probably have a longer post in me; sooner or later. Until then:

Top Films 2007

1. Michael Clayton
2. Once
3. No Country for Old Men
4. Superbad
5. Beowulf
6. Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix
7. Ratatouille
8. Sicko
9. The Simpsons Movie
10. King of Kong

Good, but missed the cut: Juno, The Lives of Others, Knocked Up, King of Kong, Grindhouse, Shoot 'Em Up, Live Free or Die Hard,

Good, but I didn't connect with the film: Sweeney Todd, The Bourne Ultimatium, 3:10 to Yuma, Black Book, 300, Hot Fuzz

Nice Try Award: The Golden Compass

Just Plain Bad Movie, no qualifiers: Spiderman 3, Transformers, Shrek 3, Pirates of the Carribean 3, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

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December 19, 2007

Toque
Sweeney Todd - Saw a preview screening of Sweeney Todd last night through screenwriters mag. It justn't my type of musical. I loved Little Shop of Horrors, Once and bits of the Music Man, the South Park movie... I even enjoyed Moulin Rouge and the Eddie Murphy bits of Dreamgirls. But this wasn't for me. As G-Money asked after the screening: "Who is this movie for? Other than Tim Burton?"

There's a new trailer for Season 5 of The Wire. It. Fucking. Rocks. Here's my guess for the final season's plot.

Due to the school system's budgetary crisis shown at the end of season 4, Mayor Carcetti will have to make cuts to the police department's budget. While it will affect the overal department's morale, the Major Crimes Unit will be shut down entirely. That will piss off McNulty who thinks he was close to busting Marlo's gang for all the murders they committed last season. The cuts may also threaten an investigation that Freamon is doing into corrupt State Senator Clay Davis, which they've known about since Season 1.

Meanwhile, a new hotshot reporter at the Baltimore Sun wants to break a big story so he can move up to the Washington Post. Desperate to stay after Marlo, McNulty will lie to the eager reporter that Marlo is actually a serial kiler murdering on the homeless (not a drug dealer killing multiple other drug dealers). The reporter will run with the "little white lie." The politicians will be forced by the headlines to get moving. Other drug crews like Prop Joe's (who had called a truce with Marlo), will see it as an opportunity to take over. The Game will explode.

And everything will spin out of control.

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November 1, 2007

November 1st & the lyrics to Boys Don't Cry

Like a circle. Different signals. Should've known.

Book Review
Stalin's Ghost - Martin Cruz Smith - It's unfair to judge, but here's another novel featuring our favorite hero Arkady Renko which doesn't match the heights of Polar Star. It does feel like an improvement over the last book... but not entirely.

Mistakes of agents. Glasses held down. Party Haircuts.

Solo Bastard Stuff

Air baubles. Instant intimacy. Spam email.

TV Review
Five Days - HBO - It ends with emotionally powerful gut punches... even if the mystery is less than a perfect who-dun-it, it was such an engrossing ride. Metacritic has some great reviews, but my favorite pull-quote is "its tension isn't derived from depicting the majority of its cast as shifty-eyed suspects, but rather as floundering, flawed human beings." Just like The Wire.

If you don't look in the mirror, will it not reflect?

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October 14, 2007

Head In Only

Judd and I as Weekly Bastards on FunnyOrDie.com

Short Reviews:
BOOKS
Bad Monkeys - by Matt Ruff: At first, I thought it was like Alias... then it becomes more Fight Club. An untrustful narrator explains the Gun which kills people via Natural Causes, her missing brother and how she joined the secret society which rids the world of Bad Monkeys. A fun little thriller.

MOVIES
Michael Clayton - The first 20 minutes are slow with dense information, but when the timeline jumps back 4 days, the puzzle pieces start to come together and it builds to a tense knuckle-grinding thriller over not just life or death... but more importantly, . A great movie.

TV
Now that I own a DVR, I've watched most of the new shows & old ones, but the best thing on the tube has been HBO's mini-series Five Days. Only two episodes have aired so far, but like The Wire, it's a very realistic look at several lives in crisis (in this case a media-circus surrounding a missing woman) with every angle covered and not a false note.

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September 2, 2007

Look for the Splinters
Monitor. Monitor.
Monitor.
Got to Monitor. Monitor.
Monitor. Monitor. Monitor. Mon-i-tor. Moniter. Gotta Monitor. Monitor. Mon-e-tar. Monitor. Monitor. Monitor. Monitor. Monitor. Monitor. Monitor. Monitor. Monitor. Monitre. Monitor. Monitor. Monitor. Monitor. Monitor. mOnitor. Monitor . Monitor. Monitor. Monitor. Monitor.
Monitor. Monitor. Monitor. Monitor. Monitor. Monitor. Monitor. Monotor. Moniter. Monitor. Monitor. Monitor. Mon-i-tor. Mon-i-tor. An-e-mal. Animal. Animal. Animal. I no Animal. Im no animal. Animal. Animal. Animal. Animal. Animal. I'm no animal. Animal. Animal. Animal. Animal. Animol. Animal. I'm no an-e-mol. I'm no animal. I know everyone. Animal. I'm no animal. I know everyone. Animal. Animal. Animal. Animal. I know everyone. Animal. Animal Animal. Animal. I'm no animal.

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8-8-07

But inside I'm already dead
I think that's how Travis' lyric in "Leggy Redhead" goes. He explained that the Conchords have a song called something like "Leggy Blonde." Ugh. I took 3 trips in a month. A brief rundown of le travel.

4TH OF JULY-ISH IN ATLANTA: Ratatouille. Rose of Athens Theater. Peachtree Road Race. Ted's. Roswell High Fireworks. Children's Museum.

MID-JULY IN MANHATTAN: Lunch with Jess near ABC. Avenue Q. Chelsea. East Village. Drinks with other Jess in 30 Rock. Neko Case in Central Park. Harry Potter 7 Book Release in Greenwich Village. Cooper-Hewitt Design Museum. Frost-Nixon.

TWO DAYS IN BOSTON: Freedom Trail. Sunset Harbor Cruise. Wagamama. Boston Common. Boston Central Library. Breaking into Trinity Church to avoid the $5 tour.

EARLY AUGUST IN KANSAS CITY: The Plaza. Gymkata. Famous Dave's BBQ. First Friday. Not realizing that Bar Natasha was a lesbian bar. Trolley Trail. drinking Old Fashions (with bourbon not brandy) at the riverboat Harrah's.

Other things happened, like I got Matt Groening to sign my box of KrustyO's, silent treatments, disasters of work variety, Judd & I started taping the Weekly Bastards, postcards, G-Money got a staph infection, my youngest sister might move out here, Dad had a heart "episode"... no wonder I'm so tired.

Great article, it reads like it can from my brain: Why Southerners Won't Shut Up About Their Sweet Tea

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End of June, 2007

Leaving Los Angeles after the Silent No
So I'm leaving L.A. on Friday. Random thinkings

The R Bar - This is one of those bars where you need a secret password to get in. It's a bit like you see in the movies: Outside, there are no signs anywhere, just a light on the corner in Koreatown. You knock on the door; someone slides a tiny window open and asks for the password. If what the doorman said was true, just think 'Karate Kid' and you'll get the new password. Can't say much about the atmosphere or the drinks (Gavin & I were drunk when we got there), but the people we met were cool.

Once - Best movie I've seen in months. Simple story hung on real emotions. Very romantic. That said, I'm pretty sure that I liked it more than Allison, so maybe it's not a chick flick.
Knocked Up - While there aren't any gut-busting laughs, the laughs are constant in this quality pic.
Live Free or Die Hard - It's been so long since there's been a straight action movie (and the action was good) that I want to forgive it for being completely ridiculous.

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June 9, 2007

Times are gonna change, you will be amazed
Sleep and I have a bizarre relationship. I've really not been sleeping well. Two specific examples are Thursday night, I woke up at 3:30am and had a hard time getting back to sleep. Friday (last) night, I woke up at 5am and couldn't get back to sleep. AND I've had a bad cough & chest congestion since May 29th.

So naturally, this morning I went surfing in Santa Monica, just south of the pier. I had only 3 great rides, and only one spectacular wipe-out. Spending 90 minutes in the frigid water will probably take me off this mortal coil, but I needed it.

"You're twistin' my melon, man. You know you talk so hip, man, you're twistin' my melon, man.
Call the cops."

On the way back, we rocked early 90s British Madchester. If you want to see me dancing (and you most likely don't), all you have to do is blast the Happy Mondays' "Step On" (watch and learn) and I start gettin' funky on dance floor a la Bez (there's good Bez dancing at 3:17 in the youtube video). Then some Morrissey, and finally Oasis. I must be in trouble because Oasis' lyrics made sense.

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
but I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

In blog news, I'm either going to post more or less or the same here because in addition to this pages, I've got my mocking MySpace page... and I'm getting a Facebook page sooner or later. Where have all the secrets gone?

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May 25, 2007

Blinded by the Present
A ghost of the intentionally lost Lost Generation

There was a line or two in my last song about Marie, but in the doldrums, I wrote another new song called Curb Feelers Out for Marie (right click, Save Target As...). As usual my "singing" is a train wreck. And like the last song, it's meant to be sweet, but when I listen back to it... the sweetness gets warped. Parrallel parking is tricky. Wikipedia defines curb feelers.

THOUGHTS
Food et Drinks
Seven Grand - Nice chill place to hang with friends & chat.
Senor Fred - over rated
Ma'kai - Didn't go at the peek time, but it seems like a cool S.M. hang out.

Movies
Spiderman 3 - sucked.

Books
You Suck - I could see how people dig this author... this story didn't gel.

Music
Dinosaur Jr. - Beyond - An almost complete success. As J wails with guitar & voice "Is it all me?" on the song Been There All The Time, you're taken back to the real grunge/sludge of the late 80s/earlier 90s.

DVD
Twin Peaks: Season 2 - Unlike the first season, there were pointless story lines and tangents that didn't work. But when it did, boy howdy, they hit the highest points of the show. Another overlooked fact is how the season was linear. In second season episode 1, one of the first lines is Cooper reflecting that "it wasn't so bad, as long as you can keep the fear from your mind." Every few episodes, someone talks about fear. The demon BOB is said to feed on fear. In another episode, a character's death is caused by fear.

And hell, about 8 episodes in, a character says "It is some men's fate to face great darkness. We each choose how to react. If the choice is fear, then we become vulnerable to darkness."

Followed in the next episode by a different character saying , "if you confront the Black Lodge with imperfect courage, it will utterly annihilate your soul". A blatant forshadowing of the second season's cliffhanger ending, because 13 episodes later, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS! Yet some idiot critics think the cliffhanger was out of left-field. Were they watching?

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May 9, 2007

Lost Cause
Is it possible to be cursed? Here's the evidence

- I've been sick for well over a week. My cough was described by Riese as an 80-year-old man's cough. My doctor has me on Avelox & Guaifenex. The drugs leave me so "wired" that I can't sleep at night.
- Los Angeles is burning down.
- I misread Aundrea's lyrics from a Danity Kane song.
- My tickets to Arcade Fire cost an arm and a leg.
- My older sister is somehow STILL NOT DIVORCED!!!

I just need something to go right. More specifically, remember that scene at the end of the original Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory... when Charlie could leave with the Everlasting Gobstopper and sell it to Slugworth... but instead he hands it back to Wonka. I need someone to give me a gobstopper.

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April 29, 2007

April Birth Daze
Thank God, this month is almost over. Too many parties. Too many birthdays.

- At last night's party, I was pushed in the pool (deserved it). My cell phone was destroyed because it was in my pocket when I went in. I was given a towel and put my clothes in the suana to dry out. Naturally, I thought I could put some clothes up on the heater and, sure enough, my boxers caught on fire. There was so much smoke, I'm lucky the Fire Department didn't show up.

- Last Saturday, I blew off Erica's birthday (and stranded poor Billy), to keep drinking at Scottie's birthday party at The Belmont. He and his friends are all from London, so with the weak American dollar, they couldn't believe how cheap the drinks were. So they just kept buying more for everyone. The party started at 5, and by 11pm, the ex-patriots were in "soccer fan" mode, and we were kicked out.

- The Saturday before that, Billy's birthday party was in Hermosa Beach, which I'd never been to before, and is a really hip scene. BUT the night was cold and the wind blowing off the ocean... Jesus, I was freezing to death.

- The Saturday before that, Ashley's birthday was at the Arsenal. Much silliness, but Easter Sunday, when I was driving Sara and Heather back to their car... I got a flat tire. Then Sara threw up in a Jack-in-the-Box (the restaurant, not the children's toy)
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A few days after April Fool's Day, 2007

Update
- My sister should be officially divorced in two weeks. While I'm sure things are going to be trying, it will be a step in a healthy direction.

- The Pillow Fight at the Grove was shut down by "the man", which was a big bummer, but it was a kick seeing just HOW MANY security guards they had out.

- I've had my Prius for 2.5 years now, and it's great, yada, yada, yada. But after refilling, I had to drive south for a bit and for the first 23 miles, I averaged 61 mpg. 61!!! Hell Yeah! Sadly, now having driven 130 miles, it's down to 49.4 mpg average. Boo!!!

Melrose Haunts
Tuesday night, younger brother Gavin's birthday party was at The Village Idiot. Didn't get any food (just drinking), but the atmosphere is "right on" as Gav would say. Melrose has needed a place like this for quite a while.

Wednesday night, Ms. Kahn's birthday was at Red Pearl Kitchen. "P to the B" and I arrived after the kitchen was closed, so again, I was only drinking. That said, they have this drink "the Red Pearl" which packs quite a punch. Especially if you haven't had dinner (or lunch) like I hadn't.

- I'm growing to love the new Arcade Fire CD, but the song of my year is still this old Pavement goodie.

Strings of Nashville
Don't be a... toy... in the back of a magazine.
don't
don't be a toy in the back of a magazine
no one reads

i know, i know
you've got a lot of special things to do
not me, I'm through
i know it's alright
sing along

Practice everything you preach
i got none today
expecting none tomorrow
and tomorrow after that
release the strings of nashville
and watch the suns expire

Silence is danger
but it's not that quiet here,
so why are you scared?

i know, i know,
you've got a lot of special things to do
not me, I'm through
i know, it's alright
sing along
to get you through the night
get you through the

storm

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March 19, 2007

Are Like Assholes
BOOKS

One Mississippi - Mark Childress. A terrible rushed beginning (moving the family down to Mississippi) and a ridiculous ending (think Columbine) surround a really great middle section of a book.

The Lovely Bones- Alice Sebold. Close to Perfect. Everyone read this book about 4 years ago. I had a credit at Joe Barnes and Ted Noble's store, so I picked it up. Any fears of "Oprah Book Club" maudlin sentimentatlity were gone after a few pages.

All the King's Men - Robert Penn Warren. Some people probably have to read this in school; lucky bastards. I had a credit at the USC book store (which didn't have a great selection of books), so I picked it up. Like my other obsession, The Wire, the book moves slowly building to a series of emotional whollops at the end. Does anything happen in the first 200 pages? The narrator, Jack Burden, doesn't seem to be much of anything, but by the time he's recounted his love for Anne, the way he blew it, his father, the death of Adam.. damn, brilliant. It won the Pulitzer for a reason. (Note: I hear the 2006 movie version sucked)

MUSIC
Arcade Fire - Neon Bible.
The middle section of songs 6-10 (Oceans of Noise, The Well & Lighthouse, Antichrist Television Blues, Windowsill, No Cars Go) is G-R-E-A-T!!!... but No Cars Go is also a tiny microcosm of the album's only flaw. Because on this album, the similarities to Bruce Springsteen are more apparent. Win is singing from the point of view of the jaded 20-something... which Bruce did throughout the 70s. On their debut EP & first album, they sang as the outsider teens or even younger innocent babes in the woods.

They've remade No Cars Go from their debut EP, making it more muscular and slightly faster tempo. They've added minimal pause/beat between singing 'No Cars [beat] Go". But the song's lyrics are about the joy of those alienated tweens finding their own place in this miserable world. And as great as the new version is, it misses the joy and wonder and the other elements that made these Canuks so unique.

TELEVISION
The Wire - Season 4
"The game is rigged, man." - Preston "Bodie" Broadus

With Season 3 and Season 4, the show seemed to move even slower; perhaps it has no choice. With 60 major characters (and who knows how many minor ones), each character can only have so much time in a 60 minute show. But what the writers do, is have one action cause ripple effects. Season 4 opened with a new minor character Lex jealous that his girl left him for another drug-dealer, "Fruit", a minor character from Season 3. So Lex killed Fruit... but Fruit was one of Marlo Stanfield's men, and by the end of the year, the ripple effect of that one act had devastating effects for the drug-dealers, the cops, and city hall

But the most devastated are the four new characters - the 13-year-old kids, who become the major focus of Season 4. From their innocent beginning, you want all of the kids to avoid "The Game". But this is Baltimore, The Wire's Baltimore, and by the end of 12 episodes, 3 of the 4 kids are in terrible situations that are some of the hardest gut-punches the series have ever thrown.

Every critic seems to love The Wire, and the next season is about journalism. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

DOWNTOWN BARS

Trifecta - Home of the infamous $15 hot dog, which G-Money got and shared with us.

The hot dog was good, but $15 is a bit pricey. We ordered off the Happy Hour menu. Everything was good, but as with the hot dog price, you'll be wondering: why so expensive?

The Edison - You have to go there, but I discovered on this my second trip, the place is so beautiful AND SO FRIGGING BIG that if there aren't at least 200 people there... it feels dead.

So if you go there with friends and it's not packed, jump into The Furnace and make your own party.

Bordello's - Perhaps I shouldn't judge the bar, since I went on Burlesque Night, and the bartenders were much better looking than any of the burlesque performers.

This burlesque had a bit of Goth, since all the ladies were covered in tats... and each performance ended with the ladies being strangled by (as G-Money described him) "Jack the Ripper". Despite having bitched about the cover price, Gavin enjoyed the show the most. But since Allison was having a miserable time, we left before the show was over. Perhaps Jack the Ripper lightened up a bit by the end

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February 23, 2007

A Message to the Boys
One thing that helps my fear of flying is reading, so on my latest flight home, I bought 3 men's magazine and decided to compare them.
ESQUIRE vs. GQ vs. DETAILS

Esquire

Cover Boy: Multiple amputee from Iraq Sgt. Bryan Anderson
Table of Contents appeard on: Pages 11 & 12
Terrible Fashion Suggestion: Belstaff 1930's Jacket
Best Article: Interview with Ricky Gervais
Worst Article: Excerpt from Mailer's book on young Hitler
First Babe not in ad: Kate Mara on page 25 - only babe in magazine

GQ

Cover Boy: Robert De Niro
Table of Contents appeard on: Page 6
Terrible Fashion Suggestion: Land's End Down Vest
Best Article: How to Save Your Hair if Balding (bias)
Worst Article: Profile on Rocco DiSpirito
First Babe not in an ad: Olivia Wilde on page 53, then Doutzen Kroes on page 81

Details

Cover Boy: Matt Damon
Table of Contents appeard on: Pages 22, 28 & 34 (?)
Terrible Fashion Suggestion: Trovata's Cashmere-blend Cardigan
Best Article: (tie) The Return of the Yuppie; Soldiers sleeping with other soldier's wives
Worst Article: My Father, the Lumberjack
First Babe not in an ad: None, zero, zilch

Conclusion: I don't think any warrant a subscription yet.

BOND

In another round of not leaving one's house, I got one of the James Bond 007 gift box sets for Christmas, so I decided to sit down and watch all of the James Bond movies in order.
The Top 10 James Bond Movies
1. Goldfinger
2. Casino Royale
3. The Spy Who Loved Me
4. For Your Eyes Only
5. Thunderball
6. GoldenEye
7. You Only Live Twice
8. License To Kill
9. The Man with the Golden Gun
10. The World is Not Enough

The Worst James Bond Movies
The Living Daylights - Die Another Day - A View to a Kill

General Thoughts: The first two, Dr. No & From Russia With Love... people love them, but IMHO, they're just too slow. Pierce Brosnan's Bond movies had too many digital effects which killed them, while Roger Moore's had real stunt work which boosted his film's appeal.

Bond Babes: All the Bond movies feature beautiful women, but if the film went above and beyond in the women department... it often rose to the top.
The Best Bond Movies based on the Bond Babes.
1. Thunderball - Domino & Volpe

2. License to Kill - Pam & Lupe

3. Diamonds Are Forever - Tiffany Case & Plenty O'Toole

4. The Man With the Golden Gun - Goodnight & Andrea Anders

5. Octopussy - Magda & Octopussy

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February 5, 2007

Can/Can't Forget I Asked
So when you can't sleep, you have to stay busy. Here's another song in the canon. Can't find my Acid site, so I'll do a test. Here's the song A.A.stands for Attractively Annoying , I think you have to right-click and choose "Save As..." & no, my "singing" hasn't improved.

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January 31-February 1, 2007

It's 2:12am
I'm not asleep. I didn't sleep at all last night. Help.

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January 2007

Time to take down the Christmas Tree

BEST MOVIES OF 2006
1.The Departed
2. Little Miss Sunshine
3. Casino Royale
4. Tristram Shandy
5. Borat
6. Dreamgirls
7. The Devil Wears Prada
8. Children of Men
9. Inside Man
10. Talledega Nights

Best of the Rest: Pan's Labyrinth, Cars, Superman Returns, Thank You for Smoking, An Inconvenient Truth, X-Men 3, Nacho Libre, Confederate States of America
Didn't Hate: The Prestige, V for Vendetta, Miami Vice, Mission Impossible III
Not Really Good: Pirates of the Carribean 2, A Prarie Home Companion, I Am A Sex Addict, DaVinci Code, Brick, The Matador

RECENT BOOKS:
The Egyptologist - by Arthur Phillips. An inspirational book. Mostly hilarious and yet at other times really sad underneath a dark layer of evil. The book is written in the voice of two narrators who speak in out-right lies... that can't completely hide the truth. Brilliant.

The Road - by Cormac McCarthy. Topped quite a few lists for best book of '06, but perhaps it is more griping to parents. A solid book about survival, love and parenting.

The Night Gardener - by George Pelecanos. Least favorite of the three. I picked it up because Pelecanos writes for the The Wire (see below). A decent crime novel where the character's past and the city's present play as big a part as do the alibis and evidence.

BEST ENTERTAINMENT OF THE YEAR.

HBO's THE WIRE - This show is so addictive; it's like crack. I've gone through the first 3 seasons on DVD (36 hours) in three weeks and have started into season 4. So fucking good!!! With a regular cast of 60 characters (not counting dozens of minor supporting characters) and a dense, intelligent plot... It's a better drama than The Sopranos or House. It's a better soap opera than Desperate Housewives or Grey's Anatomy. It has more twists than 24 or Lost or Heroes.
I had to be bullied into watching it, because what did I care about the city of Baltimore (the real main character on the show), young drug dealers and the cops who chased them? But after the first two episodes, I was hooked. And damn, if I don't constantly see myself in the brilliant yet deluted, faithful but horn-dogging, hard-working yet self-destroying Officer McNulty, who started the damn ball rolling.

You won't want to watch it; I didn't. You can't just jump in, you have to start at Season One. But it's the best show on television.

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December 22, 2006

Fiery Death

Today, I fly home for Atlanta. I've already written about my fear of flying ad nasuem, but there are 25mph winds in LA and in Georgia, it's a night of thunderstorms... I've taken a photo of the plane.

Joking, of course.... but that leads to this last post of '06. I went to find some magazines to read on the plane last night (I'm reading The Egyptologist - a rather funny book, but I find magazines easier to read while scared from turbulence)... anyway, in the new Vanity Fair, Christopher Hitchens (a truly vile neo-conservative who still loves the Iraq War) had an article titled, "Why Women Aren't Funny."

While I've tried to keep this blog a serious look inside my fractured mind (and succeeded: sadly, this blog isn't funny), I do spend time thinking about what makes things funny - see here, here and here. And Hitchens tosses up some passages that strike me, example:

Nietzsche described a witticism as an epitaph on the death of a feeling. Male humor prefers the laugh to be at someone's expense, and understands that life is quite possibly a joke to begin with—and often a joke in extremely poor taste. Humor is part of the armor-plate with which to resist what is already farcical enough. (Perhaps not by coincidence, battered as they are by motherfucking nature, men tend to refer to life itself as a bitch.)

Okay, that "bitch" link was a joke for Little Middle, if she still reads this blog. And even in 2007, with all the b.s. happening in life, I have to try to be funny.

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December 12, 2006

McCartney vs. Westerberg vs. Allen

My brother-in-law (no, not that one) has been claiming for a decade that Hillary Clinton didn't love Bill... she stayed married to him because she wanted to be president. "He cheats on her and she don't even care!" I claimed that despite Bill's wandering eyes; she must love the ol' Dawg...as proof, I'd point to other sister's marriage and how the heart often fights logic. Now that Hillary has all but declared, this bro-in-law is crowing about how he "called it." But things never make sense, as history shows.

Here's 3 classic takes by 3 bright men and you get to pick who gets it most rightish:

Hello Goodbye - The Beatles
You say yes, I say no, you say stop, and I say go, go, go
Oh no - you say goodbye, and I say hello
Hello, hello - I dont know why you say goodbye I say hello
I say high, you say low, you say why, and I say I dont know - oh
Oh no - you say goodbye, and I say hello
Hello, hello - I dont know why you say goodbye I say hello

Dyslexic Heart - Paul Westerberg
You shoot me glances and they're so hard to read,
I miscontrue what you mean
Between the covers I thought you were ready. A half-angel, half-tart
I try to comprehend you but I got a dyslexic heart.
You keep swayin'... what are you sayin'? Thinking about stayin'
Or are you just playing at making passes?
Well, my heart could use some glasses
Do I read you correctly? I need you directly, Help me with this part
Do I hate you? Do I date you? Do I got a dyslexic heart?

Love and Death - Woody Allen
"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love, to be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy, therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness."

So there are the 3 options. Who wins (and I don't mean in 2008)?

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November 29, 2006

Slow November

So I went home for Thanksgiving and the family crisis described below... and it's just not a good situation. Because in addition to everything else, they're in debt up to their eyeballs; might lose their house. Reality isn't being faced. I give up. If that weren't bad enough, I am receiving incredible guilt sessions demanding that I return for Xmas. Ugh.

I've spent the last two nights at Pete's Cafe & Bar in downtown LA, and last nite's jazz combo 3 is a pretty nice low-energy vibe night. Of course, the girl who introduced me to Pete's also sent me a text message that read: "Just deleted ur info on my phone. U? Whack and inconsiderate!" Ouch. I do like her spelling of wack/whack, though.

But my main beef, with trips home and school nights out drinking, I haven't been to the gym in too long a time (two weeks). And I feel fat. I look in the mirror and I see fat. Once you stop going to the gym, it's tough to get motivated to return. So that's my weekend goal. Of course, I'm acting in someone else's short film on Sunday, so I'm going to have to fast... the camera adds 10 pounds!!!

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November 19, 2006

Come On Get _______

After the last post, thanks to all the FittenBlog readers who sent emails, texts, etc. I'm heading home on Wednesday night for Thanksgiving. Hopefully, things will be better, despite the news since last week being nothing but negative. So I haven't been up for anything fun, or going out. But you keep on living, so even though I haven't been up for fun... I've tried. Here's a report:

Last night, that girl from work who's crazy about me dragged me out for a tour of downtown LA's hip, cool (pick your trendy adjective) new (to me) spots. From the coffee bar Lost Souls Cafe where a weak accoustic "funk" band played scat --- to Pete's Cafe & Bar a mod restaurant in an old bank builing which was filled with folks following the USC - Cal game --- to Bar 107 a funky little place like most of the dives I normally hang out in --- to Zip Fushion Sushi in the Arts District which had a really good DJ playing old-school jams in the dancing room, what a cool place --- to...

Look, downtown has a ton of cool places... and most are in rather shady areas... but no place is in a more desolate / more questionable location than a simple brick building called "The Church", where a "Private" Party was taking place. On the corner of 6th & Crocker, the Church's first floor had a hip-hop DJ, while upstairs was a mix of house and acid. A bit of a "hipper than thou" crowd, but friendly.

Still, I couldn't have fun. Until my sister's life settles down and starts making sense... I'm in mellow mode.

Only thing that's taken my mind off it so far was hitting the midnight screening of the new James Bond movie at the Chinese on Thursday night. People in the crowd were wearing tuxedos. And the laughter was sweet with knowing giggles. Casino Royale may be the best Bond movie ever.

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November 12, 2006

Down All The Days

This is a heavier post, apologies in advance.

One of the greatest books about the South is The Prince of Tides. (Yes, I know that technically, most of the book takes place in New York. and yes, Streisand did F up the movie version). But it delves into how Southern people repress their pain, and how outward appearances are everything... that's Southern Culture (on the skids) to a (Sweet) T(ea). The novel begins after a failed suicide attempt.

On last Wednesday night, my sister's husband tried to kill himself. Apparently, the first part of his suicide note included detailed instructions for her to destroy the note... he was going to make it look like an accident. So while a suicide attempt might be considered a cry for help, only in the south must that cry for help be hidden like a secret. Even after we're gone, appearances must be kept. (Note: my brother-in-law is not from the South - he's a Yankee - but he's lived south of the Mason-Dixon line long enough)

Everyone has seen this train coming for the past 5 years, with his violent temper and lightning hot outbursts. Using various techniques, we've prodded my sister to leave him for the good of herself and her children. I guess we didn't do enough, because the train kept on coming, and she was still on the tracks.

I spent 30 minutes on the phone with a Battered Women's Shelter in Atlanta on Friday. Their words made more than enough sense - they couldn't do anything for my sister until decided to do something for herself... but of course, that's why I had to call... she wouldn't / couldn't do anything to help herself. Like the mother in The Prince of Tides, she was deterimined to keep smiling.

Course he didn't die. Should be out of the hospital in a couple of days. That way at Christmas, everyone can pretend that everything is fine.

-Tom Wingo

Non-depressing stuff:
-Thanks Whitney for the free Clipper tix. Ya Rule
- Borat movie is really good (but the Ali G clips are even better)
- Wowee Zowee: Sorid Sentinels edition has been ordered via Amazon.

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October 20, 2006

Rerun
"Rog..." "Hey, hey, hey"

Three of my regular readers have been complaing... no updates since July?!? I say, Who's running this blog? But really, after my relief work down in post-Katrina New Orleans, I've been spending my time down at the Battered Women's Shelter... apologizing.

But seriously, I've been really busy / the kind of busy where there's lots to do... but yer not doing nothing. Ya hip? I feel like you could take any post I wrote one year ago... and it'd still be true today. Which is depressing. Why write if there's nothing inspiring, I ask yous?

I have posted a couple of "in character" blogs at my secret MySpace page, and I think they're pretty funny. But no, I won't provide a link; you'll have to find it yourself, Detective.

So you really want to hear about what me's been up to? Stuff I remember:

Last Night (Thursday) - The Pogues at the Wiltern. Great Show. But Shane (only 48?!?) looks like he has one liver in the grave, and his speech only contains a few correctly pronounced words. I'd argue that the late-Pogues song, Tuesday Morning, with Spider on vocals was the best of the night.
But as Shane wrote many moons ago:
Singha Beer don't ask no questions
Singha Beer don't tell no lies
In the House of the Gods where no mongrels preach
I watched the sun going down on Pattaya Beach
Week Ago Wednesday Morning - Thought rather unemotionally about suicide. But it was Just One of Those Things. Don't read too much into it.
Saturday, October ?th: Went to Dodger Playoff game with Akio. They got eliminated.
Friday, October ?th - Saw The Departed - what a great movie. Went to Busby's in Santa Monica, a fun place but they need more board games.
Thursday, Sept 28: Acted in Gavin's short. The part was of an ass-wipe, but I may have been too ass-wipe-ish to be funny. And it's a comedy. I think.
Sept 22 & 23: Went both Friday and Saturday night to the San Gennaro Fest. On Saturday night, Barrow danced with a special lady who wanted a picture. Cackling laugh.
Sept Something - Ginny came out to Los Angels City.
An August Friday - Way back when I started this blog, I wanted to hit some friggin awesome water slides. So the posse hit Raging Waters, some good slides. I set the record for holding in one's stomach.
An August Thursday Night - For those of you who love stories of me being a douchebag, you'll love this... but I feel like I have to clean it up some... Lisa (who hasn't been Annoying in some time) dragged me to this Gen Arts Ignite! LA party. Free Tickets. Free Booze. This is one of those type of parties where photos might appear in Los Angeles Magazine. This 21-year-chick picked me up: she thought I was 25 and the best looking guy there... it was rather dark. Maybe I'm too old to finally discover this, but breast implants feel weird. Just be yourself, peeps. And I realized,as I was lying on a driveway in Woodland Hills, that I was Owen Wilson in the beginning of Wedding Crashers... when everyone wants Vince Vaughn... hey, Don't Judge. You had your chance to save me.
An August Wednesday Night - Went to my first Drinking Liberally. I need to go more often, but damn, I've been busy.

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July 23, 2006

Quick Review

Got a copy of the pilot of the new NBC show Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. It's not funny. It's a great drama with a good cast and good writing. But there's a huge problem: It's suppose to be the behind-the-scenes look at a Saturday Night Live type show, but the characters don't have a sense of humor. Example: A producer named Wes has an on-air meltdown. Afterward, the comedian characters spend the night in "serious talk" mode. "What does it mean for the show?" "Has he been fired?"

Ah, what planet do these characters live on? Rather than emotional talk, it'd be gallows humor galore. "Personally, I thought Wes' crazy rant killed in run-throughs." The night Princess Di died, I was at IO and while we did have some somber moments, it was a theater filled with quip kings and queens. People's nature didn't' change because of a tragedy. Comedians in a room of other comedians are always tring to be funny! And that's the cloud hanging over the show. Neither the main comedy writer characters NOR the comedian characters say anything funny.

Of course, maybe it's just that the drama behind making an SNL-type show is more interesting than the humor which passes on the actual SNL nowadays.

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July 11, 2006

The Clown Joke

 
Spider Jumping in north Gwinnett County, Georgia

Welcome new confirmed reader Annoying Lisa who forgot that back when we hung out with Big-Breasted Lisa, we christened her with the unfortunate knickname. Does beat my knickname: Shithead.

Got a letter from SOCIAL SECURITY which tells me that if I retire when I'm 62, I'll get about $965/month but if I wait and retire when I'm 70, I'll get around $1,650/month. They want me to keep working until I'm 70!!! Are they nuts?!?! I don't want to keep working until Friday.

I've written about THE CLOWN JOKE before and told it to many women that I've been smitten with (perhaps back in 2002, Hanna had the best reaction because she started smiling half way through as she could foresee the inevitable end). I heard the Clown Joke years ago from my friend Kim Companik, who was told it by Rich whom she was dating at the time. I love the joke but tis a joke best told from one person to another, yet due to the nature of the joke, multiple people always come up and sadly it becomes a group thing.

Anyway, I knew it was a joke that was passed around a bit like The Aristocrats, but with these internets unable to keep any secrets (look at this blog) people have been spreading it around. In fact, if you search "fuck you, clown" (be sure to keep the parentheses) Google spits up 10,800 entries. I haven't looked at them all, and like The Aristocrats, the best versions have personal variations that each teller puts in; but from what I've found online, THIS might be the best (read: longest) version of the Clown Joke, but they make some critical mistakes. Calling the protagonist "Fool" instead of "Billy" (the name I use) or "Joe" or "Johnny" ruins the setup. AND the final line has to be just the three magic words. This one is too short. This one is okay. Wikipedia has a fine example (scroll down).

Give it a spin this weekend, and write back with your report on your audience's response.

Reviews:
FILM
Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Man's Chest - Too f'ing long, unlike the Clown Joke. The writers stuck in too many pointless roadblocks. Elizabeth couldn't just be sprung from prison and then jump a ship headed toward Tortuga... No, she had to be sprung from prison, THEN her dad races to the dock to discover he's been caught. THEN she has to confront Lord Beckett. THEN she has to disguise herself as a man on a ship bound for London (?), THEN she has to use her dress to trick the captain into setting sail for Tortuga. Similar pointless roadblocks like: Captain Jack must collect 100 souls or Will must swim to shore because the one pirate won't go to Cannibal Isle, etc.

MUSIC
Snow Patrol - Eyes Open - The band has always been chick rock, but this new album's Coldplay move to ballads is too much. Thank God, for Hands Open -the catchy pop song has minor balls.

BOOKS
The Hard Way by Lee Child - Competent thriller which isn't very compelling.

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June 25, 2006

Dury Juty
Right Upfront: Maybe not that interesting a story... but if you've never been called for jury duty, perhaps you won't fall asleep.

Part of deluding myself into thinking I'm a civic-minded person is telling myself that I believe it is important to serve Jury Duty. I was not going to be one of these people who weasel out and complain. Then I got summoned.

The notice said June 19th; I didn't need to report that Monday or Tuesday, but was called for Wednesday. At 7:45 am!!! I arrived at the Clara Shortridge Foltz Criminal Courthouse around 8, there wasn't a single seat available in the Jury Assembly Room. I feared being late would cause me to be waiting forever. In actuality, arrving late didn't make the slightest difference because the orientation took 90 minutes! This was a brutal experience:

"For the next section, you write your name where it says 'name'. Okay, any questions?"

Around 10am, a group of 40 of us were sent to the Civil Courthouse a couple of blocks away... but we didn't have to be there until 2pm... so we got a four hour lunch break! Okay, so jury duty isn't that bad. I got in my car and drove to work. Yes, Jury Duty is about getting OUT of work, but 4 hours is a long time. Parked at a meter & I didn't have to put money in - I drive a hybrid. Note: South Park fans, Smug Alert.

Left at 12:30 to meet Nicole for lunch. She was picking me up; so I strolled over to the corner of Hoover/Jefferson. On the corner, a man was sitting on a stoop... and as I walked by, I kept my eyes on him. Suddenly, it popped into my head: it was an old Chicago improviser who taught lower level classes at Second City.

I re-introduced myself and asked him what in the world he was doing. He explained his "money job" was pitching young USC students to get Discover cards. It's friggin summer: there aren't any students to pitch! Is this what becomes of old improvisers when they don't "make it"??? Big Bummer. For whatever reason, the fact that he didn't even have a table... (his application forms just spread out on the stoop next to him) made me even more depressed.

After taking a long lunch, I showed up very late at the Civil Courthouse. The door to the courtroom was closed and all my fellow potential jurors were inside. I called the courtroom and was told "you're late. Go back to the Jury Assembly Room in the Criminal Courthouse." D'oh. Around 3pm, we remaining potential jurors (approx 36) were sent to a courtroom on the 15th floor. A young black man had been arrested selling crack. The trial would run until next Wednesday morning. Rut Row Shaggy! I had a plane ticket to the ATL for Tuesday morning. Another potential juror claimed a similar flight problem, but the judge didn't seem to care. He questioned 11 would-be jurors. The day ended; we were to be back in the courtroom on Thursday at 10am.

The next morning, I was to be quizzed, so I considered my options to get out of jury duty: Best thought: I would tell the judge that crack should be legal. Naturally, I chickened out. We'd been given a sheet of questions, and when the judge spoke to each person, he asked if we answered "Yes" to any of the questions. I had two 'yes' answers: Several friends and family members were lawyers (none practiced criminal law). Also, I had family members who had been victims of crime.

He got through about half of the 35 jurors and then sent us to a 2-hour lunch. Sweet. I walked over to Olvera Street, then ate lunch at Philipes. Arriving back at 2pm, I didn't mind moving my flight back or skipping more work... I just wanted the damn thing to get going.

Yet as soon as everyone was back, we were told to go home. The trial was off. I have no idea if the charges were dropped or if the guy pleaded out... but that's the anti-climax to my story. I missed two days of work, was given $15 for my trouble. I told you it wasn't an interesting story.

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May 29, 2006

The City of New Orleans

UPDATED WITH MORE PHOTOS

I'm a naturally long winded person, but to talk about the trip to New Orleans briefly is impossible. Now, that I've warned you, here's a sampling of the photos:

Flying into New Orleans, you notice the meandering Mississippi with oil tankers going up river to one of the many refineries. G-Money and I walked out of the baggage claim area around 5:30pm local time. Since Judd couldn't make the trip, he gave us $60 to throw around. We hopped in the first cab and made our way downtown. Our cab driver Mike had a thick accent... he had to be from Europe, but he claimed to be a native so I suppose that just proves that I have never heard a true Creole/ Cajun voice before. Driving on the interstate through the suburb of Metaire, I couldn't honestly see any sign of Katrina damage... that's when Mike pointed at the walls on the sides of the interstate.

"Look at the lines! See there! There! Lines!."

I was lost for a second, until noticing the dirty yellow horizontal lines that ran the length of the walls about 4-5 feet up. These were flood lines, a common sight for the rest of the trip. The water had been higher, but settled about about 4.5 feet and lasted long enough to give the entire interstate the disgusting equivolent of scummy bathtub ring...

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING ABOUT THE ADVENTURES IN NEW ORLEANS.

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May Something-th, 2006

Give me a Pine Box, and a White Stone
A Pine Box, and I'll feel right at home

So I'm not always the trendsetter, judging by the 1000+ people there last night, but these cemetary night Cinespia screenings are fucking cool. The Gist: You watch a movie. At night. In a cemetery. Last night, we had a pleasant picnic, sadly not on anyone's grave, with wine and stuff... then enjoyed The Maltese Falcon, which was directed by John Huston and co-starred Peter Lorre, both of whom conveniently enough are buried in Hollywood Forever Cemetary where we sat. The only negative was that it was still slightly cold, but that turned into a positive in that it forced snuggling under blankets, but that turned in a negative as I snuggled next to someone I didn't know, an actress friend of G-Money's, but that turned into a positive because she was cute and fun and seemed to have no trouble snuggling, but that turned into a negative because she was married. While I might consider girls with boyfriends "available", husbands are a big stumbling block in any relationship.

Normally, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, but as I explained to someone at lunch the other day, my trip for N.A.B. was filled with work and meetings and walked 8 hours straight and just so boring, that this time, what happened in Vegas felt fine coming home with me.

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Tax Day, 2006

Kicking Names, and Taking Ass

Joining the teens, corporate sell-outs, and child molesters from the Department of Homeland Security, our band Trenchcoat Club has its own page on MySpace.com. Thanks Travis. Feel free to go become our MySpace friends.

Summer Schedule:
April 23-25 - Vegas, Baby, Vegas for NAB
May 10-12 - Staples Center for E3
May 17- 21- New Orleans for clean-up and throwing money around
June 30 - July 5 - ATL to check out nephew Paul and the silver-haired Fitten the II
August - I'm going to DC to start recording songs and what-not.

EDIT: Shout out to confirmed reader Shawna (no, not that Shawna aka Evil Shawna). She hates MySpace which she calls a fad... which it is, but you know, look how cool our myspace page looks ;-). I think this is Shawna's page but I'm not really paying attention. And Barrow has a page he sent me a link to, but I'll have to go find it again. RE-EDIT: Found it: Barrow's Blog .

RE-RE-EDIT: Well, I didn't win the AAA Screenplay contest, but apparently that script I sent to them, my romantic comedy MEET CUTE received a "consider" with about 200 other scripts. What does a "consider" mean? Je ne sais pas. But I suppose it's better than the "don't consider" list.

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April 4, 2006
Shocked me too the things we used to do on grass
Partridge on XTC

First, the prosaic
Tis 1:30am, just left Gavin's birthday party at Power House in Hollywood. Last weekend, Laura was in town and we went out to Malibu Canyon Creek Park. Home of the beautiful Rock Pool, excellent rock climbing and absolutely pointless, miserable hiking trails like the Craggy Trail out to where the set from M*A*S*H was. Ugh.

To the post au fait
Without my muse there is no art; she's like a February Day in March.
Wig wearing stars at Urth Cafe, Carl Jung fucking Karen Horney.
The French Open won by a Swede, That's why the Tramp is a Lady. And up
Traffic and Weather together on the 1s, I love your smile cause I can see your gums.
Late night at Malaga Cove, the Italian puppets cut their strings and their nose
Heinz "Decoding" Kohut, Making out with a witch in a coffee truck.
Talk. Back.

I trust you will tell me if I am making a fool of myself.

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March 18, 2006

The Woozy battles the Southern Tamandua

Finished a demo - listen - of Nothing Rhymes. It's not very good, but I need to step away before I come back to it. Sometimes getting the music out of your head and into the mixer is harder than it should be. Like all demos, my singing is just a placeholder for a real attempt. Thanks to Katrina for playing the flute. To make up for it not being good, I did an older tune called Song For Adele - Not An ABBA Cover. I call it a "country song for deaf people" and what's sad is that this is me at my most romantic. Still working on a demo of an even older song Travis and I wrote called Pitcher of Coke.

In other Trenchcoat Club news, even though we haven't released an album in three years, AthensMusic.net has sold out of our first album College Radio (because Theme from Knight Rider is rather funny), and sales for Edsel and Hitch have been good too. Travis keeps track of the Amazon sales, so it appears our sabbatical from the airwaves hasn't killed sales or disappointed our 12 fans. Don't fret Trenchcoat fans: there really should be a new album in Jan. '07.

Book Reviews:
The City of Falling Angels - This time around, the characters that John Berendt runs into aren't quite as colorful and interesting as they were in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. But once again, he does make you really want to visit the city he's exploring: Venice.

Ender's Game - While I am a Star Wars nerd, I don't partake in any other true Sci-Fi geekdom. But while this book might be on the science fiction shelf at the bookstore, it's really just a plain brilliant book about growing pains you suffer as a kid. One impossible task gets in front of you, you overcome it and then there's another one. A great novel.

Y: The Last Man - Unlike my boss or G-Money, I don't read comic books; I'm an adult. But G-Money recommended this graphic novel series, another twist on The Stand, and it's really good.

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Larry's Birthday, 2006
Head Banging, Damaged Goods

Valentine's Day is a perfect time to write about banging one's head against the wall. Specifically, my desire to sell another script. To quote George Dumbya Bush,"It's hard work." Especially since after I sold that stupid slasher script, I've been breaking The Rule - think like a producer/write like a writer. I.E. Think what a person would invest $$$ in and then write the greatest version of such. I'm not doing that -- rather, I'm writing odd personal funny things that appeal to me. A sure way to not sell anything.

Then on Friday, I saw a brilliant, funny, personal little film called Tristram Shandy: A Cock & Bull Story, and none other than Monty Python's Eric Idle was in the audience. I was wetting myself. So if I ever make these small, personal, silly movies... perhaps someone will come.

I'd love to spice this up for you, my loyal readers, since it is Valentine's Day, but there's not much to report. The stories from the Briar Patch: I received two messages on Christmas from two women and the following aftermath was bizarre. The founders of my Facebook group were hanging at my condo til 3am the other night. My attempt to hook up Annoying Lisa with Barrow crashed. To make it up to Barrow, I switched into douchebag/rakish behavior tonight at Aqua: I asked him who he was interested in, (naturally he picked these two beautiful 21-year-old Otis College of Art + Design students; drunk photo here), and then I went over, "turned on" and we spent the night drinking and dancing with them.

But they're just stories... not paperbacks, not novels, not even screenplays.

Solitudine non è essere soli - è amare gli altri inutilmente
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