HELLO DAHLONEGA

hello
the rain falls down on the van's windshield
that sign says 'stop', but i don't think i'll yield
without you, it's hard to concentrate
the show started early, we're lost and we're late
i look in my pocket to see what we got paid
but somehow lint isn't equal to minimum wage
i look in the mirror last night's show left a trace
it's yesterday's tomato on today's face
and they booed.

CHORUS

so hello Dahlonega, hello 'insert your town' here
hello Dahlonega, we'll sound better after you've had some beer
there goes... that theory
there goes... my baby
there goes... somebody taking our van!

each new city, a place we've never been
between each city, we call AAA again
i almost want to quit, forget this, let's go home
i spent all my money on a black plastic comb
i look at your picture in the glove compartment
i wasn't watching the road, i had a small accident
nobody showed up, we didn't make double digits
we were the opening act for some dwarf tossing midgets
and they booed.

hello Dahlonega, hello 'insert your town' here
hello Dahlonega, you'll sound better after we have some beer
there goes... that theory
there goes... my baby
there goes... someone else out the door

angry fans attacked us as we made our escape
we tried to out run them, but we're too out of shape
so hello.

Notes about the song and recording: This song was probably the fourth song we wrote together... and was written at least two years before we would actually play live.
Dahlonega was a popular destination for Lindsay family gatherings: a small nothing town in North Georgia with rather dubious tourist activities like: panning for molecule sized gold nuggets . As much as T and I would rip Dahlonega, one time we were dragged to Dahlonega, we got to go white water rafting which was actually enjoyable.
"That sign says stop, but I don't think I'll yield" was based on a sign at the traffic loop on the way to the Lake Lanier Islands Hotel... we later wrote & recorded (but never released) an entire song about the exact same, 'Traffic Loop'.
Even though it was one of our earliest written songs, we held off on recording it. It was an unspoken understanding that this was a 'rock' song which needed real drums and distortion on the guitar... real drums finally arrived in the form of our one and only drummer Kevin Kral. We recorded at Jumpin John's studio; this recoding session also included 'Pruneberry Crunch'. 'Hello Dahlonega' was meant to be our fourth single on 90.5FM WUOG... but in the end we were never happy with with my singing and certain technical issues, so we released 'Pruneberry Crunch' as a single, then finally released 'Hello Dahlonega' as our fifth single.

SAVE THE ANTS

i am young, i want to join a protest,
a problem rose, cause i'm not the best
i want to save a life, but then yet,
i'm not a vegetarian, i regret
my mother owns a mink, you see,
and i will fight for your liberty
i gave the bald eagle a trial,
and humpback whales are out of style
i need to discover a cause, where my life is not a clause
to protest truth and honestly,
i formed a movement just for me.

save the ants, let the feeling grow
step on an ant, just say no
save the ants, as the feeler grows
ants have a place, and it's not between your toes

ants are never in your way,
yet you squish them anyway
i watch where i step with gaul,
i wear shoes two sizes too small
all my friend tell me to chill,
i'm making a mountain out of an ant hill
step softly if you please
... Dom DeLouise
what have they ever done to you,
but stick to the bottom of your shoes
keep ant bodies off your socks,
go squish the new kids with some blocks
i'm just doing what i can,
cause i am not the only one

CHORUS

(Tracy Chapman: It won't do no good to call the police, if they come at all)

CHORUS

protesting everything under the sun, cause i'm not the only one.

Notes about the song and recording: This song was the second single we released to WUOG and was very positively received.
The lyrics were inspired by a letter to the editor in The Red & Black, the student newspaper at the University of Georgia. Apparently, the newspaper had written an editorial attacking the animal testing at being done in science labs at the school. So a student wrote in noting the hypocrisy because more animals were being killed from the destruction of forests to create the student newspaper than we being killed in the labs for science. This got me thinking about how I didn't want to be involved in killing animals, but just by living the way I did, I was probably involved in all sorts of evil.
The song was suppose to feature a sample of Tracy Chapman singing "It won't do no good to call... the police" from her first album, but at the time we didn't have any good sampling technology so we left that section as a drum machine solo.
The recording featured T, Jumpin' John and I crunching on celery to create the horror of the ants being squished.

PRUNEBERRY CRUNCH

what's the cereal with the most sugar?
what's the cereal with the most crunch?
what's the cereal that's totally unknown?
why it'd have to be the most, uh, least expensive one!
it's not expensive!
it's got sugar in flurries!
it makes a crunch!
but it's got prunes so don't worry!

Ringmaster: Give me a P!

Kids: P!

Ringmaster: I've got your P! P! Give me a R!

Kids: R!

Ringmaster: Also got your R! R! Okay the rest...

Kids: uneberry Crunch!

Ringmaster: I've got your -uneberry Crunch! What's that spell?

Kids: Pruneberry Crunch!

Ringmaster: What'd you say?

Kids: Pruneberry Crunch!

Ringmaster: One more time!

Kids: umm... no.

Testimonial Dad: Hello, you don't know me, but I have kids. I was worried about them eating eggs, toast, bacon, cholesterol or Total. One day, I realized that: my children had no regular source of prunes! And I said: why is that? So one day, while in the rest room, in the back of a supermarket, I saw a dusty box of cereal that reminded me of a cereal that I had when I was a kid. Well frankly, it looked like it had been around since I was a kid. So I brought it home to share it with my family. How do you like it, son?

Young Son: I don't!

Dad: Look, it's Pity the Prune!

Cartoon Character Spokesman Pity the Prune: Shut the hell up, I'm Pity the Prune, I hate your family! Where's the bathroom?

Pity-ettes: Go Pity! Go Pity! Go, Go, Go Pity!

Pity the Prune: I'm Pity the Prune, my life is a laxative. While I go out at night, you're home constipated.

Dad: I'm glad that doesn't rhyme!

Pity -ettes: Show 'em you're a prune! Show 'em what you can do!
The taste of Pity's Pruneberry Crunch, brings out the sh--- prune in you!

Older Son: Dad, there's nothing in this box but prunes and sugar!?!

Pity the Prune: Quiet kid, that's two scoops of prunes!

Older Son: Dad, there's only 4 prunes, and they're all at the bottom of the box.

Dad: Son, it's the right thing to do, and a cheap way to do it.

Older Son: But Dad, the equal amount of sugar, combined with 4 prunes, when bought separately, would cost, roughly, one-third as much.

Dad: Son, just because it's good for you...

Older Son: Dad, how can this possibly be good for me? It's pure sugar! And the prunes are gooey and squishy, where's the crunch?

Dad: In our wallets, son.

Prune-ettes: There... prunes.

Notes about the song and recording: Features Kevin on drums and vocals as the Older Son . Jumpin John as the Dad. Travis as the Ring Master. Fitten (me) as Pity the Prune. Kevin, Jumpin John, Caroline Meehan and I are the chorus.
This was just something that we created for fun, and we had no plans for releasing... at this point an album wasn't on our radar. But after having minor issues with 'Hello Dahlonega', we released this as our fourth single on 90.5FM WUOG (following 'The California Girls Have Moved to Utah', which we haven't put out on an album yet).

LOVE LETTERBOMB

sitting on the court step, i've been crying
every hope i've had of loving has been too busy dying
all the cruel things you've been implying
all the subtle hints, you've been supplying.

and now i think it's time i wrote it all down
think of all the money that i spent
the truth you bent, makes me want to frown
but not as much as the money that i spent

CHORUS

if i blew you into a million pieces
(he'll blow you up)
if i blew you into a million parts
(you'll go ka-boom)
if i blew you into a million pieces
(ha-ha-ha)
there'd be one piece of you for every piece of my heart.

stepping on to your front porch with a letter
taking time to curse your pit bull and this lousy weather
the only way things are going to get better
is reducing you to burnt Corinthian leather

and now it's time i blew it all down
you don't deserve another day
one thing is sure: you're gonna pay
you won't see another day

CHORUS

dear diane, by the time you read this, you'll be gone
and i'll be skipping to class, humming our song
no, i don't want to give it another try
dear dianne, ka-boom, GOOD BYE.


Notes about the song and recording: Like most of the songs on the rest of the album, this song was recorded from a rehearsal for an appearance on WUOG's Live in the Lobby. Featuring me on vocals, T on guitar/vocals, Thomas Benefield on bass/vocals, and Kevin Kral on drums.
Written mainly by T, I added a few lyrics, oddly placed laughs and the name "Diane" was in honor of my favorite TV show, Twin Peaks.

THEME FROM KNIGHT RIDER



Notes about the song and recording: Certainly boredom had a lot to do with the formation of the band: we'd write songs because we had nothing better to do. But often, we'd just sit at T's house (without cable tv) and watch whatever rerun was on WTBS - Channel 17. This included such schlock as CHiPs, Love Boat, the A-Team and, the champion of them all, Knight Rider. Somewhere along the line, we would crack Knight Rider jokes while practicing. which lead to Travis suddenly breaking into it on his guitar, and drummer Kevin and Thomas would fall in line.
This was another song taped live from our practice for Live in the Lobby on 90.5 FM WUOG. Travis spent time writing lyrics, but I didn't stick to them, rather just making shit up off the top of my beer. This got Travis and Thomas laughing so the song just kept going and going... especially my pronouncing the word "fungi" as "fun guy... other examples." After I'd run through everything I could think of about Knight Rider, I switched to CHiPs and started making fun of an episode that Trap and I had just watched. The other guys were laughing so hard that they kept trying to end the song... but I wouldn't let them, I'd keep singing.
For whatever reason, we never thought to release it as a single on WUOG. It was only after we included it on College Radio... that the song become the breakout hit song. Because this song got such a good response, we were encouraged to keep the band going after college.

OH BOTHER

A. A. Milne, A. A. Milne. big writing author, A. A. Milne
A. A. Milne, A. A. Milne. big writing author A. A. Milne
he was an author, A. A. Milne. he liked to write books a lot, cause he was an author.
A. A. Milne. lived in England. And he wrote books.

Notes about the song and recording: This was written/recorded for a project that Travis had in 11th grade.

ROLLER DISCO PARTY

Oo la oo, oo la oo

roller disco party
everybody's moving across the dance floor
roller disco party
and if the people like it, we'll skate some more.

everybody's drawing up some peace talks,
under strobe lights, hokey pokey
the wall came down for the YMCA,
not for institutes in Helsinki

the village city people are in my house,
and i think they're cool
i go to the skating rink,
every day, after my classes.

roller disco party,
everybody's moving across the dance floor
roller disco party,
and if the people like it, we'll skate some more.

everybody's passing legislation,
to the tune of "If You Think I'm Sexy"
granola people march on Greyhound stations,
dancing lights, rayon and spandex.

***we interrupt this song to bring you a test of your patience. this is only a test.
are you good enough for Grape-nuts?
is the glass half full or half empty?
are you upset that this song has no meaning?
is that an opinion? is that your opinion?
are you happy?
loosen up!
roller disco party!***

roller disco party,
everybody's got an opinion
and i wish that you'd just keep it to yourself
from now own, if that alright with you?

and if the people like it, we'll skate some more
and if the people don't like it, we'll skate some more
the people don't like it, so skate, skate, skate, skate, skate, skate, skate some more

Notes about the song and recording: Of all of our songs, this song has the strangest creation history. There was this wonderful Athens band, The Grove Trolls, who had written this great dance song, 'The Beav's On Drugs', which as you can imagine was a comedic look at Beaver from Leave It to Beaver smoking pot and getting down. Not only was it funny, but it had a great bass/drum interplay. Their concerts were great fun with the whole crowd dancing to the funk. Also Athens-own, the B-52's played a show at Legion Field which was just a big dance party. (Sidenote: Later at the Georgia Bar, Scott Seymour introduced me to Keith Strickland) These two bands made me jealous: I wanted the Trenchcoat Club to have a fun dance song. At the time, we'd written TMBG-style pop songs or goof-off Beastie Boys style rap songs.

So I started thinking about what our dance song should be about: the first thing that came to my mind was a goof T & I use to do about a singer unable to decide whether to sing "oo oo oo" or "la la la", so he gets stuck singing a bizarre combo of the two. Another idea I kept thinking about was how as a kid, I'd loved going to the roller skating rink. When you're an 8-year-old, going to the skating rink and doing the Hokey Pokey and YM CA... those were the best!

At the same time, I thought our song needed more than just nostalgia: I wanted it to have some sort of point like 'Save the Ants.' The idea that came to mind was that nobody was celebrating the youth generation. When I had watched footage of the Berlin Wall being torn down back in 198-?, it seemed to me that it was teens celebrating with crow bars ripping down the wall & such. And here was Bush Sr. in his 1992 reelection campaign claiming it was his victory over communism? I was miffed. I wrote the line "The wall came down for the YMCA, not for institutes in Helsinki" as my "artistic" way of stating hey gramps Bush (represented by the Helsinki Institute which was constantly referred to in a no-more-grey hair coloring commercial) you didn't do jack, it was the young people who'd been doing the disco in 1979!

Anyway I'd written the lyrics to first half of the song, and got together with T to finish it. T started writing lyrics that were going in a completely different direction. He wrote a lyric that went "Granola people march on Greyhound station, dancing lights, neon and spandex" which was a dis of some young peace-nic hippies who'd protested something at the Atlanta bus station, and a dis of roller skating rink institutions like strobe lights! Hopefully Travis never realized this but I couldn't believe what he was doing to my song!?!

We wrote the end of the song together, but lines like "Everybody's got an opinion, and I wish that you'd just keep it to yourself" was actually my way of saying "Hey Travis, if you don't like roller skating rinks: shut up."

So after writing the song and Travis working out the music, I assumed that we'd record it the next time I was home from college. But Travis went ahead and recorded the song on his own... and I LOVED it. Any minor grief I'd had with T over the lyrics was gone. He did such a great job of singing and his instrumentation was really brilliant. It wasn't a dance song like the Grove Trolls or B-52s.. it was a dance song in a Trenchcoat Club style. So I was no longer jealous of those other bands... now I was jealous of Travis getting to sing on a great song ! ;-)

50's LOVE TUNE

By Melvin Taylor & the Melv-Tones
well, i woke up this morning and you're still my girl
i can't imagine you out of my world
but we're graduating: the time is not right
i have one request: be with tonight
being separated, our love might be ending
you're going to school at Georgia... i'm going to the Georgia school of bartending

i'll miss you, after you're gone
i'm gonna miss you, after you're gone

now your major is pharmacy
i'll be majoring in making daiquiris
don't say good bye, girl, my love won't end
why are you saying "we'll always be friends"?
you think of the future, you're gonna be rich
well think about me, girl, i'll be living off tips, you bitch

i'm gonna miss you, after you're gone
i'm gonna miss you, but i'm starting to hate you

now what's going on, girl? you don't seem upset?
well, that is the one thing you're gonna regret
you seem to be saying "we won't meet again."
well, i'm gonna fix that i'll sleep with your friends
don't you ignore me, no, no don't brush me aside
>cause i'm very close to committing homicide

i'm gonna miss you, after you're gone
i'm gonna miss you, but i want to kill you

do we understand each other now? you're gonna miss me
because if you don't, it's gonna get blood, bloody
yeah, yeah, i'll miss you for about one hour
that when you'll meet my bullet shower
you understand me, girl, you're feeling remorse
cause something inside tells me you won't quite enjoy being a corpse

i'm gonna miss you, after you're gone
i'm gonna miss you, but not with my gun

without your love, girl, i can't go on
wait let me correct myself: you can't go on
without your love, you can't go on
if i can't have you, no one will
if i can't have you, heaven will
if i can't have you, you can't have you.

Notes about the song and recording: Our drummer Kevin and I were pals at Georgia, Travis was still in high school (I'm 2.5 years older). I'd recruited Kevin without Travis having ever met him. Luckily they had many things in common including a love of the Canadian rock trio Rush. During one of our practices for our debut show at Club Fred (this was before bassist Thomas would join), Travis and Kevin broke into this musical thing that Rush played in between songs during their live shows. This was/is the music for "50s Love Tune."
Since I was unfamiliar with all things Rush, when they started playing it, I just started singing off the top of my head and with minor changes later, these lyrics were the result.
The recording came from our rehearsal for Sound of the City, a year later with Thomas on bass.

SUMMER OF '63 (I WANNA BE FROZEN)

i wanna be frozen, and thawed out in 2063
so i can dance on the graves of the girls who wouldn't go out with me.
they'll be dead, that'll be funny
i'll be rich, cause i'll have had money
earning interest in the bank
while a cryogenic tank
has become my home

i wanna be frozen, and thawed out in 2063
so i'll get entitlements and look like i'm 23
i put an ad in the papers, so everyone knows
it says 'so long, suckers. enjoy counting crows'
pretty pretty please
connect me with mr. freeze
i've got a message for him

bye bye, i've gone away
i'd rather hibernate
i had to sit and wait
in the restaurant
for 3 hours
and you didn't show...

i wanna be frozen, and thawed out in 2063
so i can beat up the kids, of the kids that used to beat up me
don't pull me out, until i'm the only one left
all the spite of suicide, but without the death
it can't be any colder
than your frozen shoulder
that i know so well
oh hell

bye bye, i've gone away
nothing here making me stay
one started with K.
and one started with a P.
and they both left me

(look what it did to Watt)

i wanna be frozen, and thawed out in 2063
just to say i out-lived all my enemies.

mr. jones... wishes that... he were someone a little more funky


Notes about the song and recording: This was written by Travis and recorded at his apartment in Athens in either 1994 or 1995.
The "Mr. Jones" bit is a dig based on the terrible Counting Crows and their terrible song 'Mr. Jones'. "Look what it did to Watt"we borrowed from the hilarious line that Eddie Vedder sings in the Mike Watt song 'Kids of Today Should Defend Themselves Against the 70s.' One of the features I love best about this recording is that I sing the verses and T sings the chorus.
The song features guest vocals from Liz Lee Frayer.

THROWING A CHAIR AT GERALDO

Barnaby is homeless, he's living in a sponge
the candidate didn't make false promises to him
tracy made an album and now she's got millions
but a hate monger knows what to do, with what he's sitting on

CHORUS

they're all throwing, throwing, throwing a chair
they're all throwing, throwing, throwing a chair
nazis and panthers and lions and bears
they're all throwing a chair at geraldo

a war against yellow journalism might as well start with a face
this seating is sure tasteless, hey geraldo, how's it taste
sensationalism is all around, can't you see?
oprah's losing weight (yeah right) it trick photography

CHORUS

donahue grew up and he became a woman
in hopes of better ratings, sally j. became a demon
a witch, transvestite, bigamist is coming to destroy you
fill you life with rubbish that will cause paranoia.

CHORUS

Notes about the song and recording: The song that started it all (if you don't count the bit where we were a trio in high school as a hip hop act). Travis probably brought his guitar to the Thanksgiving reunion at Lake Lanier Islands Cabins to help fight the boredom. Normal activities included driving from the cabins to the hotel to play video games and ping-pong. (The ping-pong games were lots of fun because I'd play as famed golfer Seve Ballistaros, the feisty Spainiard).
Some of the lyrics were straight like Jumpin John's funny songs, but others were a bit more random and quirky because we were also influenced by They Might Be Giants, who we thought were really brilliant. "Tracy made an album and now she's got millions" was about Tracy Chapman, who'd been singing songs about poor people which netted her million selling albums. That fascinated me for whatever reason.
After we wrote the song, we went to Jumpin' John's studio to record. I believe we recorded Travis' great song 'Foggy Saturday' during the same session. The original 'Geraldo' was a drum machine/keyboard heavy song.
About a year later in a WUOG staff meeting, local music director Lorel Manning asked if anybody knew any local bands, and to tell them to submit songs for the station to play. I went up to him and said that I was in a band, and I had a song. He was shocked because I didn't look like some long-haired hippie who tended to play in bands in Athens. So I gave him the song, I think he thought it was cute, and I moved back home for summer break. Three months later, I'm back at school and I bump in Lorel, who told me that our song was the most requested song at WUOG all summer long!?! I was flabbergasted; I think Lorel was too. This lead to 'Save The Ants' which Lorel really loved, and he started respecting us as a 'band' and not what we were: a bunch of goofs writing silly songs for fun. Lorel booked us on Sound of the City multiple times after that. During the first few sessions, T and I would appear with just his acoustic guitar and we'd run through our catalogue of songs like 'Traffic Loop', 'Johnny Headbasket', and 'Pitcher of Coke' (Note: we haven't yet recorded any of these, but I think we should, they're quirky and fun).
The album version of "Throwing A Chair" on College Radio... is not the first version we recorded, the album version is from the rehearsal for a Sound of the City with Kevin and Thomas.

SELLOUT SONG '89

if heavy metal bands wrote no heavy metal ballads
they'd be down a Shoney's tossing Chef's Salads, for a living
put on make-up like dolls, plea for 1-900 calls
what respectable artist does a tour of shopping malls?
well that'd be Tiffany.

we can't sing about political ills
honesty can't pay the bills
superficial, fake, successful and insincere
or isn't that what they want to hear?

what would bill haley say, if he looked around today
everyone's a dead head, or at least since Touch of Grey
was on mtv
paula abdul has a good set of... face
but you have to have integrity to sellout in the first place,
so forget her
(willie tyler and lester abdul)

the critics said our record stank
we smelled all the way to the bank
we can forgo integrity, quality, and message clear
or isn't that what they want to hear?

let's break 'a tall cool one' over robert plant's head
you know he sounded so much better when his blimp was made of Led
& not cheese
if we lost all our hair, would it help our record sales
'another day in paradise' for men whose hairlines fail:
phil collins
(take me to the bridge)

what subject would get you to pay?
well, we got this really short survey
we can get a big sponsor for the 25^th reunion tour
or isn't that what they want to hear?

i'll be kissing the ground, when they take julie brown
and run her down with a fast Greyhound
well, i'll be acting really silly, if they killed milli vanilli
they'll have parades in philly, export their corpses to chile
i'll be ready to rock, when the new kids on the block
are outlined in chalk on a bloody side walk

well we can keep up with the latest trends
twelve year olds are my best friends
well i bought this guitar, i even know a chord or two
i'm trying to sing like i've heard other singers do
they'll me on the radio, yeah, they'll play the video too
it takes these three minutes to make our whole career
or isn't that what they want to hear?

you can sing about whatever you want
cause no one listens to the lyrics anymore


Notes about the song & recording: This was written mainly by Travis (I added some lyrics here or there). I'm not sure if Shoney's is advertising their Chef Salad's as much as they were back then, but I always loved that lyric. T & I went to Shoney's all the time on my mom's coupon book. Shoney's featured the classic restaurant exchange:
Rude Creepy Waiter: What would you like?
Us Jerks: I'm like some more Coke... (long pause)... now!
We recorded it during the rehearsals for Sound of the City, and just a few months later, Nirvana broke and commercial music was good for those two years or so. When we decided to put it on College Radio..., I added the '89 to the title as an homage to R.E.M.'s 'Pop Song '89.'

EDSEL

CHRISTMAS IN THE CASINO

egg nog spreads joy around,
elves telling me to 'double down'
most holidays, i'll just mope,
instead of losing money on a river boat

let it snow let it snow let it ride,
watered down screwdriver cost me $5
lost my shirt at the reindeer track,
if i keep betting i might win it back

CHORUS

santa's going ho-ho-ho,
keno under mistletoe
from the north pole to reno,
it's christmas in the casino

twas the night before christmas and all through the house
pathetic losers were getting soused
i down by un-told sums,
kris kringle wants to take my thumbs
donner and blitzen are by my side,
the dice are loaded and so am i
winning straight is just too hard,
i've got the rainman counting cards.

jingle slots -- chestnuts hot -- jingle slots

silent night, holy night
spinning wheels, neon lights
round yon pit boss, Siegfried and Roy
as i sign over the deed to the island of misfit toys
for rolling another snake eyes,
rolling another snake eyes

left milk and cookies by the roulette wheel
i'm headed out to the blood mobile
i want to spend the holidays at home
instead

i'm gonna die alone

(then all the reindeer loved him)

Notes about the song and recording: As a Ramones lover, I had wanted to write a riff-laden, three-chords and a cloud-of-dust song for a long time. The inspiration hit in the fall of 96 or 97. I was out of college and living in Lincoln Park in Chicago performing at ImprovOlympic, et al. I didn't have the money to fly home to ATL for Thanksgiving, so my friend Kim Companik invited me out to her parent's place in Hammond, IN. After dinner, the grandparents only wanted to do one thing: visit the riverboat casino! I didn't imagine it'd be open on Thanksgiving ... let alone PACKED! Kim and her cute sister won big, I lost $60.
It was a very fascinating trip, and a few weeks later I wrote the original version for my answering machine. It was just the first two verses & chorus, plus a ending verse "I want to spend the holidays at home, but I'm gonna gonna gonna gonna die alone" with friends Kim & Kevin Fleming yelling "die!" "die!" at various time. It was really great (wish I still had it). Later, I wrote out some more lyrics, mailed them to T and played the song for his answering machine. Trap fleshed out the song even more, adding the second verse and the brilliant 'Silent Night' section. Recorded at Evan & Liz Frayer's house, the silent night section features Shawna Clark and Liz Frayer on vocals... note: anytime we have a chorus of people singing... Liz's voice is always the one which floats above the rest.

SPACESHIP

won't sing about heart ache and hatred
won't sing about how much i'll miss you all
won't sing about anything nice,
so i won't sing about anything at all

water, we gather at the shoreline
and look across the skyline
looking for a comet
that's followed by a spaceship
pleasant little picnic,
pass around the kool aid
i'm thinking about moving someplace far away

elbow connected to the ulna connected to the wrist bone
connected to the hand bone
connected to a telephone
i'm calling you a liar,
you're telling me i'm fired
i'm thinking about moving someplace far

farewell my only friends,
so long my true true love
goodbye cruel cruel world,
i'm leaving you today

Notes about the song & recording: After avoiding it for years, we bowed to pressure to include more calypso and island music on our albums. This T composition was certainly inspired by the Heaven's Gate cult in San Diego who believed that their souls would rendezvous with a UFO hidden behind the Hale-Bopp Comet. 39 people died in the mass suicide - gulp - not the normal subject for a pop song, huh?

PARKER POSEY

ring around the rosie,
i'm dating parker posey
and living in a flat above my mom's garage
ain't got much to bring to the table,
when she smiles at me i'm able
to fly

and i don't miss you anymore

Notes about the song & recording: Travis claims that the song isn't about Parker Posey... but I'm not so sure. That said, Matthew Sweet claimed his song "Winona" wasn't about Winona Ryder and he was being honest: it was about Matthew Sweet's love of Winona Judd.

FAMOUS BASTARD

one day when i'm famous, i'll become a stranger to friends who hung around
when i was down, when i was no one like they are now
arrogance and flashy dress, i want to fall ass backwards into success
all i have to do: is figure out how

want to start at the top of the ladder, got no talent, well that doesn't matter
besides if you deserve it, it makes it a bore
and as i grow rich, i'll move in with some blond bitch
who wouldn't talk to me before

CHORUS

when everyone's seen my picture in a magazine
i'll pack up my bags and head on home
catch up with my friends, swear i'll never to that again
just go back to being unknown

i'll be on E.T., jon tesh will come back just to interview me
if i get a clear shot, i'll shoot him dead
a movie of the week, we'll bitch and moan about being a celebrity
how my life's so great i can't get out of bed

i'll hire a ghost biographer, start to punch out fans and photographers
any critical praise will just make me irate
as i go mad with fame, talk to women in tones that would make the old me ashamed
but i'll never be without a pretty date

you'll read in the news, that i've become a reclusive stranger than howard hughes
and pseudo intellectuals will tell one another
that his material was weak, but at least he became a super freak
the kind you don't take home to mother

Notes about the song & recording: It seems only naturaly that Travis, who has always professed to hate techno, would write a song with such a strong techno sound. The question: Is it right to write a song just so you can include a lyric about shooting Jon Tesh? Faux News: We Report. You Turn the Channel.

WHERE'S ME GOLD

also available from vidmark entertainment
no plot, no stars, not so special effects,
most films couldn't overcome such defects
he counts his gold, almost daily,
stay the hell back, he's got a sheilaiey
warwick davis spins the wicked pun,
he made a star out of jennifer anniston
his gold's been eaten, gambled and shrunk.
two word review simply says 'it stunk'
it kinda gets old, he wants his gold,
a total of 42 tickets sold

leprechaun and you, a cat and a mouse,
the L. A. Dream Team is in the house
this fairy tale's not by lewis carroll,
he's ending the life of larry's other brother daryl
he DOES clock gold, he don't wear ducats,
his favorite team: the denver nuggets
driving through fences like a fucking cartoon,
i hope the movie is over soon. word

neither duck magician or mc pity d have his gold. yo lep, retrace your steps

if you throw him some shoes, he'll gather them gladly
he's only got one line, he delivers it badly
we're the trenchcoat club, you know we love this crap
they call me dunce, my hat is like a dunce cap
duck magician at the video store,
the movies are so bad i've seen all four
i'm slick pit, the mc pity d,
i never pay the late return fee
you'll be his bride, if you sneeze three times,
leprechaun keeps busting his wicked rhyme

aren't we all asking: where's me gold
being a leprechaun: he wants his gold
all we are saying is give him gold
you've got to throw shoes, he's got to clean your
shoes, he's got gold buckles on his boots
Give him his gold, that's all he wants, and he'll leave you alone.
Where's Me Gold?

Notes about the song & recording: Finding the right bad movie is difficult, but the FIRST Leprechaun movie is perfect: Illogical plot, annoying one-dimensional characters, Jennifer Anniston, the guy who played one of the other brothers Daryl on the TV show Newhart, and it stars an Ewok aka Willow: Warwick Davis.
After subjecting so many of our former friends to this film, it was time to create a song. I built the loops on my workplace's Avid Media Composer1000. The loops were sampled from: a Dust Brothers B-side version of the Beastie Boys' 'Shadrach' (which itself included loops from James Brown's 'Funky Drummer', Richard Pryor and Jimi Hendrix), Public Enemy's 'Rebel Without A Pause' (which featured the same drum sample from James Brown's 'Funky Drummer') , the Leprechaun films, a trailer for (I think) The Santa Clause, Pavement's cover of the Schoolhouse Rock song "No More Kings", and Jumpin' John's voice from our own song 'Hello Dahlonega.'
Lyrics feature Trenchcoat spins on classic hip-hop song lyrics: We took the classic Public Enemy lyric from 'MPE' "I don't clock gold, but I clock ducats, cause I've got the money overflowing in buckets" and changed it to "He does clock gold, he don't wear ducats, his favorite team: the Denver Nuggets." We took the LL Cool J line from 'I'm Bad': "They call me 'Jaws', my hat is like a shark's fin" and changed it to: "They call me 'dumb', my hat is like a dunce cap." The lyric "The LA Dream Team is in the House" is the chorus of from the LA Dream Team's song of the same name.
Our rap handles have changed over the years. In high school, I was "DJ Diggs" and T was "Russ MC", these were based on lame ATL newscasters: Morris Diggs and Russ Minshew (who may have been fired for Michael Jackson-esque behavior with young boys...) After recording 'Pruneberry Crunch', I became Slick Pit aka MC Pity D (a goof on the great hip hop legend Slick Rick aka MC Ricky D) while T became the Duck Magician, which I believe was based on this cute girl in high school who we teased as wearing 'Duck' shoes.
The vocals were recorded at the Frayer's house in the same recording session as 'Christmas in the Casino'.

WAFFLE HOUSE JUKEBOX SONG

went to see you at 2 a.m.,
drunk, hung over here i go again
yours is the only door open to me,
i passed out earlier and now i'm hungry

can i come over to your house,
denny's closed and they threw me out
can i come over to your place,
a warm cup of joe and your smiling face

you never treat me like you used to,
i just need someone to hold
you never act like you used to,
now the cup of joe and smile are cold

i come to hear your sweet voice,
besides at this time of night there's really not much choice
we've played this scene over and over,
but you know i'm never around when i'm sober

i'm at a stool, you serve a booth,
i'm a tool soaked in vermouth
order you around, this food won't go down,
your just one of 38 locations in this town

we have a bizarre relationship,
the milk you served me caused a tooth to chip
i see your voice, i hear a choir,
sniff sniff, i spy something brown on fire

you use non dairy butter, this i learned,
i ordered myself some grits somehow they came burned
raise your hand if your sure,
that the waffles and eggs are served at room temperature

this is where i mention waffle house, but maybe i won't
but they won't buy this song for their juke box, if i don't

how bout some o.j. now, buy some more
how bout a side of raisin toast, you will buy some more
waffle house is just great, you will believe this
"hey this isn't what i ordered!", yes it is
can i get a witness?

i want to be smother and covered in your love

Notes about the song & recording: There are more Waffle House restaurants than McDonald's in Atlanta. This chain of greasy spoons (a good step below IHOP) has a jukebox in each restaurant with songs about Waffle House?!? The songs have titles like 'Love My Waffle House', 'Good Coffee, Good People' and 'Need A Break from Driving My Truck, Hello Waffle House.' As far as I can tell, these are NOT cheesy PR songs created by the restaurant BUT real songs from wanna-be Red Sovine's. We decided to create our own song that would appeal to the real reason why most of our friends went to Waffle House.
It was written before College Radio... came out, and we had recorded a version at Jumpin John's studio... but out of tune keyboards and poorly attempted 'country' sounds made it suck (we would later discover how to country-up a Trenchcoat song on 'Shed'). This version was from a 90.5FM WUOG Sound of the City show T & I did alone after College Radio... was released.
CLICK HERE to purchase real Waffle House Jukebox songs. CLICK HERE to listen to real Waffle House Jukebox songs.

(sledding) STRAIGHT TO HELL

bob looks deeply into whatever-her-name-is' eyes
she looks back, smiles, they both look away
they see each other twice a day
but that has nothing to do with us, anyway

CHORUS

you said you'd love me when hell froze over
well, it's getting cold down here
'is my heart for you?' is a question i ask
that and: 'who made cheerios low in sugar?'
did i mention the part about cold down here?
guess the asbestos is getting to me

"i don't even know her," says bob, "she'll think i'm dumb"
whatever-her-name-is says, "is this his way of getting a date?"
they won't find out until it's too late
but then again, girl, we can't relate

CHORUS

they meet two years later, bob's dating jill
whatever-her-name-is turns out to be elizabeth
it's funny we're in love, and they're in a mess
but it's disconcerting, cause i can see my breath

and yes
you said you love me when hell froze over
well, satan's riding on a toboggan
i'm making snow angels in purgatory
and now i know what cheerios does with all that sugar
yes i mentioned the part about cold down here
guess the asbestos was getting to you, too

(cryin n drivin)

grew up just west of the tracks
fell for a girl with cataract
her dad didn't like me, he sold used cadillacs
went to her house, and as i walked in
her father said, "with my daughter, you better not have sin"
and i started humming 'begin the begin'
you know it wasn't the best time to hum and old R.E.M. song
i'm sledding straight to hell
won't you joey-in me on this ride
my heart is for you, and your's is for me
and the elvis, sugar, cheerio connection still confounds me
(poison-ous)
just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song
every rose has it's thorn.

Notes about the song & recording: First song I wrote on guitar. I purchased a guitar because I was at college, T in high school, and I wanted to be able to continue pumping out songs. Lyrics based around the premise that the chorus would have nothing to do with the verses. The verse story of Bob and an unknown girl was based on my own experience at Georgia. I was always seeing this beautiful girl on campus... we'd make eye contact almost every day, but I never spoke to her. Two years later, I was in a sorority house, and saw her picture on the wall, her name turned out to be Jennifer Ferguson. Sadly, I never met her.
After I wrote the song, I sent the lyrics and chords to Travis, who changed some lyrics for the better, and recorded the "keyboardy" version on his own. By the time we next appeared on Sound of the City, I had added a closing section of the song which played on the great Drivin' N Cryin' song 'Straight to Hell,' which was a popular regional hit.

TELLURIDE

she said she was angry, but not at me
threw her arms around me like a canopy
she borrowed my money, never paid it back
she dressed in twenty different shades of black

she came from telluride
she looked sideways whenever she lied

and she tried, but not very hard
she read a lot of jean-paul sartre
honey, i would, but not tonight
sorrow's around me like a satellite

she came from telluride
she was twenty-four when she died


Notes about the song & recording: A Travis composition which harkens back to length. Like big inspirations TMBG and the Ramones, we'd kept our early songs short. On this album and our next one, we'd lose that wagon wheel.

GUINNESS

i wrote a letter to the guinness book of records
including a list
of records which ought to exist
most mediocre and emptiest life,
least likely to find a wife
sounds kind of lonely, but it's alright,
watching 'south park' on a Saturday night

but sirs, there's more
i'm the worlds biggest bore
simply no chance, i'm even hated in france
fewest ambitions and poorest health
most time spent muttering to one's self
sounds pathetic, it's not so bad,
since i gave up on feeling glad

(Sting, Andy Summers, Stewart Copeland)

so they put me in on my own reports
i've garnered a certain stature of sorts
hanging around the loudest sneeze (Greg Stewart),
and a girl with a 12 pound beard of bees
looking around, i got it made.
i break my own records everyday
i'm so great


Notes about the song & recording: We are huge fans of the Police. Did Summers and Copeland keep Sting in check? Must have, huh? That said, the first two/three Sting solo records were okay. The Soul Cages was alright, but there were signs of trouble in that one huh?

SWING LOW, ISCARIOT

sailing on a broken wing, i've fallen
silent in a crowd of strangers

sunset through a sea of shit, i'm swimming
and endless stream of brake lights before me

i wait a long time, for three minutes that are truly mine
i get headaches and i dream about work

swing low, iscariot

Notes about the song & recording: Travis composition, inspired by Jacksonville job & traffic. After Travis left Jacksonville, the city got an NFL team. So for 8 home games a year, and the Georgia/Florida game... there's something to do in Jacksonville. Gotta love "The Landing."

INSIGNIFICANT OTHER

baby, you're so adequate
our lukewarm love goes on and on
a fake promise to you elicits
a round of passionless kisses
oh yeah
by candlelight, we reveal
how ambivalent we feel
about us

baby, you're so average
i rented a movie, so we don't have to talk
there's no church and there's no steeple
we're too lazy to see other people
i know

over an expensive dinner, you say
you could go either way
it makes no difference

we're together by circumstance
into this doomed romance
oh no

friends ask, "will it last forever?"
we both shrug and say, "whatever
who cares"

yeah, yeah, yeah

Notes about the song & recording: A another one of Travis' great compositions. After the bitter break-up songs from the first album like '50s Love Tune' and 'Love Letterbomb', the beautiful relationship apathy of this song is probably closer to the truth for us... and I suppose that's artistic growth.

STEVE THE SLED

(part of the holiday series of songs we wrote including Gus the Groundhog, Bob the Bunny, Tom the Turkey)

you've heard of rosebud, and well, no one else
but do you recall, the most famous sled of all?
steve the sled, had two rusty blades
and if you ever saw him, you would say, "what a piece of junk"
all of the other sleds, used to laugh and call him names
but then again sleds can't talk, ..............

then one foggy x-mas eve, santa came to say
steve with your rusty blades, we're going to incinerate you
then all the sleds loved him, as they shouted out silently
steve the sled, steve the sled

Notes about the song & recording: Ah, the good ole days. When we just wrote songs to make each other laugh. Certainly don't remember why, but we wrote 4 songs (all to the tune of 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer'). In addition to Christmas' 'Steve the Sled', for Groundhog's Day, there was 'Gus the Groundhog', for Easter, 'Bob the Bunny', and for Thanksgiving, there was 'Tom the Turkey'
I wanted to include them all on 'College Radio...' but this one song which included Liz Frayer, Thomas Benefield and Meg Ramsey(?) on background vocals was the only one to make the cut for 'Edsel'. Maybe we can find them and put them up on the website. Don't remember all the lyrics, but here's a rough idea of how they each went.

GUS THE GROUNDHOG
You've heard of Puxsatony Phil, well maybe you haven't
but do you recall... the most famous groundhog of all?
Gus the Groundhog had a very big shadow
and if you ever saw it, you would go jump in a hole
all of the other groundhogs, use to laugh and call him names: "Roadkill"
then one foggy groundhog day, the person in charge of groundhogs came to say
"Gus with your big shadow, you're going to jump back in your hole"
then all the groundhogs loved him, as they shouted out with glee
"Gus the Groundhog, you're a big fat jerk!"

BOB THE BUNNY
You've heard of Bugs and Phil, well you have heard of Bugs
but do you recall... the most famous bunny of all?
Bob the Bunny had a very big front teeth
and if you ever saw them, you would probably get rabies
all of the other bunnies, use to laugh and call him names: "Trix"
then one foggy Easter, the person in charge of bunnies known as the Easter Bunny came to say
"Bob with your big front teeth, why don't you deliver these damn eggs"
then all the bunnies loved him, as they shouted out with glee
"Bob the Bunny, you're doing all our work!"

TOM THE TURKEY
You've heard of Butterball, well just Butterball
but do you recall... the most famous turkey of all?
Tom the Turkey had a very big belly
and if you ever saw them, you would say "hey Tom you're really fat."
all of the other bunnies, use to laugh and call him names: "Chicken"
then one foggy Thanksgiving day, the Tom Perdue came to say
"Tom with your big belly, I'm gonna chop off your head."
then all the turkeys loved him, as they shouted out with glee
"Tom the Turkey, you deserved it!"

THE POP OPERA OF SUPERMARKET SWEEP

Mr Yuck: which aisle will i run down, i shall keep thou guessing
i'm an inch from attacking your shopping cart
but wait, here's tasty paul newman salad dressing

i am mr. yuck, i am mr. yuck

yesterday: the alien. tomorrow: banana slug
time to chase the shoppers, the shoppers
but first, time for a celeste pizza plug

i am mr. yuck i am mr. yuck

Brubrek Chorus: oh no, it's mr. yuck, bobby better run
in the opposite direction, toward the smoked ham

Bobby the Contestant: running in the opposite direction, my feet
somehow in biz markie, south dakota, life incomplete
i was in the check-out line, i heard that beep
i thought of the fun i could be having on supermarket sweep

la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

running on from mr. yuck, i don't have nine lives
of course, my limit of tasty, juicy honeybaked hams is five
only one lobster, that's three less than five
oh what i'd ring up on 'rodeo drive'

keep on shopping, keep on shopping, keep on shopping, don't stop

Brubrek Chorus: look at bobby snatching up that lobster,
and the crowd is cheering him on
but he'll have to have eyes in the back of his head
to watch out for mr. yuck

Mr. Yuck: i am mr. yuck i am mr. yuck
these customers are fast
but i am mr. yuck

bare my fangs and plastic mask
and why not use wd-40 when those darn hinges get stuck

Brubrek Chorus: apparently, mr. yuck is going to go
yet another episode
without actually seeing or scaring a contestant
but when you see him, you'll know why we call him mr. yuck

Bobby: i am bobby, see my shopping cart roll
i hope nobody saw those three perdue chickens that i stole
there he is, in my cart, but he doesn't want to hurt me
apparently, he's fascinated by products from chef boyardee

so i'll keep on shopping, keep on shopping, keep on shopping, don't stop

keep on shopping

Mr. Yuck: i am mr. yuck
Bobby: keep on shopping
Mr. Yuck: i am mr. yuck
Bobby: keep on shopping
Mr. Yuck: i am mr. yuck
he'll keep on shopping
Bobby: he's mr. yuck

Mr. Yuck: i am mr. yuck i am mr. yuck
the show is at the end, bobby won the sweep

damn it, i am mr. yuck
and i wish bobby hadn't thrown that tub pack of pamper on my feet

Everybody: keep on shopping, shopping, keep on, keep on shopping


Notes about the song & recording: Quite possibly our most hilarious song; certainly our most complex music and tempo, but also our most obscure lyrics and jokes. "Where's Me Gold?" was based on a straight-to-video but mass marketed shlock series. "Wafflehouse Jukebox" needed a knowledge of the practices of the particular but popular restaurant chain. BUT this song was based on a barely seen game show, Supermarket Sweep, and an aspect of the game show which was abandoned about 4 months after it began.

But like I said, back in those days, we were just writing songs to make each other laugh.

Supermarket Sweep is that show where people run crazy with a shopping cart around a supermarket grabbing groceries. I believe it was originally done in the 50s or 60s. A new version started appearing on either the Lifetime Cable Channel or the old Family Channel back in the 90s. The host was this vanilla boob named Dave Ruprecht, who then dressed in Bill Cosby-rejected sweaters. There was also this ridiculous announcer who did play-by-play during the contestants running around "sweeps". Which brings us to Mr. Yuck. Here's how I imagine how it went down.
Producer1: We need to liven up the end sweep, its getting stale.
Producer 2: Yeah, and our sponsors are upset because the contestants don't grab their products during the final sweep.
Producer 3: I've got it, why don't we have some monster in the supermarket, scaring the contestants, and the monster can pick up various items so our announcer can pitch them!
And that's what they did!?! They created a rotating roster of costumed monsters like the Banana Slug and the Gorilla. But without question, the lamest character was simply known as Mr. Yuck, a guy in a dark trenchcoat and a Tusken Raider (?) mask. What made the show so enjoyable was how NONE of the contestants cared about the not-exactly-frightening characters... which was matched by the costumed characters' obsession with pitching products and rather lackadaisical effort to scare/annoy the contestants. Thank goodness the play-by-play announcer would be describing "heart-pounding" action which didn't match with the actual events on the screen.
Anyway, they cut the characters about 4 months after they started. But by that time, T and I had written this classic rock opera to television pap. I still crack up every time I hear it.
You can google "Mr. Yuck" & "Supermarket Sweep" to find people who sell videos from this brilliant period of game showiness.

HITCH YOUR STATION WAGAON TO A STAR

MONDAY WAS A SOUNDGARDEN SONG

Monday was a Soundgarden song and it wouldn't end
kept rolling around and around til I was dead again
And just as I was laying down to go to bed
it started again
Monday was a Soundgarden song and it wouldn't end

Monday was a Soundgarden song and it wouldn't end
The new ideas had been used around 1:10
And just as I had thought the song had faded, then
it started again
Monday was a Soundgarden song and it wouldn't end

Notes about the song & recording: Travis lived at the beach in Jacksonville, but worked downtown. I can't imagine the traffic driving home everynight. Must have really sucked. I wonder if anyone who likes our songs also likes Soundgarden... I just can't fathom it. Fathom was an old movie from the 60s where Raquel Welsh wore a bikini. Hot. Anyway, I did like that Temple Of The Dog song about going hungry. When I'm hungry, I head to Arby's. Ch-ching!

BALAD FOR MR. T

Once while in a cab in DC
You showed a simple golden dignity
Or fighting Rocky on the silver screen
yeah, you killed Mickey but it wasn't mean
Cutting down all your trees as the March sun was fading out
You went on Diff'rent Strokes to ask Willis what he was talking bout

Mr. T, oh Mr T. Pity a Fool for me

Driving around in your red striped van
You are one hellava tough man
Drinking milk when you are thirsty
You wear the proper amount of jewelry
the chains set you free

Mr. T, oh Mr T. Pity a Fool for me

You don't want to fly, Murdoch is crazy
Hannibal's gonna love it when a plan has come together
A plan has come together

Notes about the song & recording: LONG WRITE-UP WARNING: I'M SORRY.
By this point in my life, I've developed a pretty unhealthy worshipping of the band Pavement. While their best album is probably Slanted & Enchanted (which inspired Blur for that album with 'Song 2'), there's certainly some competition from their other great album Wowee Zowee. WZ features a couple of slow guitar beauties in "Grounded" and "Black Out", the perfect pop song "Kennel District", the perfect warped pop song "AT&T", spastic punk "Flux=Rad" & "Sepentine Pad", skewed country "Father to a Sister of Thought", and other gems. But the album's truly inspiring notion are the sudden shifts on songs.
With most everybody's songs, you can kinda tell where they're headed from the beginning of the song. But on Wowee Zowee, Pavement broke that rule. The song "Best Friends Arm" starts as a spastic punk jam then half way through switches to a quiet lullaby. "Half A Canyon" starts as distorted truck rock, then hits a glare of feedback and suddenly switches into a most brilliant guitar rave of noise that Nine Inch Nails would be jealous of. And probably the greatest example of the musical hopskotch, "Fight This Generation" begins as a strings driven Lawrence Welk beauty, then disolves down into a droaning guitar march, before collapsing beneath the weight of it all to become a kids time joke, then a guitar spazz... you get the idea.
Anyway,when I was writing songs for this album, that sense of switcheroo was infected in me. It's first appearance is here in "Ballad for Mr. T". The layout of the song is based on "Fight This Generation": start pretty and end in a droning march, (for whatever reason for the ending drone I picked the chord progression of Bruce Springsteen's "Atlantic City", probably because its one of the few songs I know and can play halfway decent).
This is one of those songs where the music was written before the words: so why Mr. T? Certainly he's hella tough. And he's a great role model. In elementary school I had written a paper about the lessons students could learn from Mr. T like: "When being shot at, run in the opposite direction." But actually the inspiration was all the "Mr. T vs ________" sites on the internet.
Recorded at Travis' over a New Year's Eve weekend. Note: Travis has a brilliant recording theory: write songs that require upgrading your equipment. That's Trap's nice new keyboard providing the piano parts.

YOUNG REPUBLICANS IN LOVE

I saw today on the society page
Morning Edition is filled with everyone I hate
I drive an SUV but only to buy groceries
Dinner's $500 a plate

Talk about a Persian rug and a war on ghetto drugs
Our favorite Starbucks blend
Sleeping on the ground? Wait for it to trickle down.
So impressed you have a black friend

Her name was Ally, a pro-life rally in Wichita Falls
She's a preacher's daughter burns Harry Potter
When she agrees she calls
Rush Limbaugh
and says "mega-dittos"

Whispering "no gun control" as we gaze across the punch bowl
Why can't kids just say 'no'?
Then you impart, can't understand it, it can't be art
The Bible tells me so

Young Republicans In Love

Notes about the song & recording: Travis wrote "I always get irritated right before an election. This was written and recorded during a vacation from work in October 2000, before the chaotic election. I'm a Libertarian, which means I find both parties' ideologies totally inconsistent--and I get to complain no matter who wins."
There's a rumor that this was played in the Clinton White House during their final days... but how they got the song/mp3 is still a bit of a mystery.

STRONGER THAN A HOUSEWIFE

Stronger than a housewife
Smarter than a sky dive
Longer than a med fly
when its time to die

Honest like a charlatan
Emotional like a mannequin
Faithful like a pagan
w hen your soul needs saving

Tie your knots in shoes
Stay I've got booze

Go out with me, pay for the date
Order me a steak, volunteer to drive
Don't try to speak, but tell me that I'm great
better than other guys, would it hurt you to lie?

Dumber than the Weakest Link
Larger than a Shrinky Dink
Smoother than Larry Munson
when it's time to hunker down

Loyal like a cannibal
Clashing like Grr-animals
Untethered like a tether ball
on a tether poll

How can I prove to you
that my intentions aren't true?

It's lonely at the top, its lonely at the bottom
This headache's gotta stop, this heart has gotten rotten
Hopes are gonna drop, your will is misbegotten
the Unskinny Bop was best left forgotten

Stronger than a Housewife

Notes about the song& recording: At this company, which shall remain nameless, everyday at 4:00, there would be these huge Half-Life frag fests with up to 15 people all playing over the network. Note: the company did go out of business within two years. "Stronger than a Housewife" was a motto I used, a play on the Superman stuff "Stronger than a locomotive..." You don't drop good slogans, so I knew I'd be writing a song about it sooner or later.
The chorus chords were based around new things I wanted to try, and are similar to the verses chords in "Ballad for Mr. T". I tried to sing the song in an octive lower than my true singing voice and that didn't work out that well. D'oh.

RUN ON

I long to see the fire in your eyes wouldn't meet mine were looking down at
your feet walked away for the last time is on my side step the question like a
politician is bought and paid four score and seven years ago in a galaxy far,
far away from this place in the sun sets on another day in the life of Brian
Wilson

Wipe your feet on the Matlock never lost a case closed for the defense let the
offense score a touchdowntown in Wuxtry Records were replaced by the
CDelightful Joe Odom was in the garDenver beat my Falcons in a Super
Bowling shoes on my feet smell from the run to your house in the
rain

Without you, life's a downward Spiral Stairs wrote 'Kennel District' of Columbia had
an arrested Mayor McCheese, could you please show me something new generation for
a soda Pop won't play with me anymore bang for your Buck Owens was on Hee Haw with
the lovely Misty Rowe your boat ashore to the moor I don't want my point to be
obscure

(freestyle rapping)
Matlock never lost case, Matlock never lost a case
and I'm feeling pretty Matlock.
He's like the good stuff on the top shelf
Matlock went to court by dressing himself in a white suit
you can't dispute, from Atlanta to Savannah
Matlock props old coots. Come on y'all
Matlock never lost a case. I'm going to have a Matlock day.
With my Matlock girl, I'm going to be very Matlock
Down in East Lake, you can't be late
Everybody knows I've got Def Jef
I can't defect, Matlock's on the case
"I didn't kill that person, come on."
You know its good in the hood and everybody loves to
knock on wood, y'all.

Notes about the song & recording: This was the most maligned song on the album, probably deservedly so. The album features Version 4.0, and we probably should have worked to Version 6.0. But at a certain point, its hard to keep working and working. I had wanted to do a song with this Doug E. Fresh beat for years. The lyric pattern was based off an older song I wrote named "Everybody Nose."
Obviously, it features strange references: "Delightful Joe Odom was in the garden" is a reference to my favorite character in the book 'Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil' (great book, terrible movie). "Spiral Stairs wrote 'Kennel District'" refers to Pavement: guitarist Spiral Stairs wrote and sang 'Kennel District' on the album Wowee Zowee. "New generation for a soda pop" refers to the lame way Pepsi claims its the cola of youth.
Buck Owens and Misty Rowe were stamples of the corny variety show 'Hee Haw' which EVERYBODY should know existed. My buddy Judd thought the show was just a joke, but no moron, it was on-the-air for like over 20 years!!!

PEACE OUT

If you steal my heart, get past the guards
and try and make your escape
The video cameras inside my rib cage
will catch the whole thing on tape

And then in the fall, I'll have John Walsh
asking everyone to call
You'll have to hide when, your 8x10
is on the post office wall

I've been sitting for so long on this bar stool all alone
I just wanted to say 'hello'.
Hello

Yes I want cash back, my soul has a Lojack
The whereabouts of yours are known
Can't get away cause there's bright blue paint
over everything that you own

The cops won't buy your alibi
cause its nothing you can prove
they know you're a liar, I was wearing a wire
when you said you love me too

Peace Out

Notes about the song& recording: Travis has a brilliant pop mind. I consider this and "Insignificant Other"perfect. When anybody asked for an early listen to the new album, I'd put this on and they'd smile. My Austrailian buddy Theo thought it sounded like the Smashing Pumpkins' "1979". I didn't, but hey, if you're going to be compared to the Pumpkins, that's the song you want.

HITCH YOUR STATION WAGON TO A STAR

To all concerned, for what it's worth
I've had it with planet Earth
so I'm leaving

Pack up the Volvo and move from here
to someplace with more atmosphere
Fuel up at the Mir

About the time zero gravity comes
I'll be blaring "She Bangs The Drum"
H ere she comes, there are not words at all

I have to smile when I picture the scene
Three of us singing "Welcome to the Machine"
All out of key

Sitting straight-faced as the galaxies spin
Moving so fast that the walls bend in
the lights dim

Then one day when I come back to Earth
I can't remember, how does it work
Would I be a baby?
And you an old man?
I guess I'll see you then
I guess I'll see you then

Somewhere between Ursa Major and Mars
I'll hitch my station wagon to a star
get out my guitar
and finally smile

Notes about the song& recording: Travis had wanted to name the album "Hitch Your Station Wagon to a Star" for a long time. I didn't. #1. As a relatively obscure band, I like attention getting titles or funny titles (I named our debut album). #2. I hated the idea of the album title being titled after a song on the album. Not sure why, I've just always hated when bands do that. In some ways, I guess I think its lazy. #3. I titled the first album, Travis titled the second album, naturally I assumed that it was my turn. In the end, T won, but I made him rename the song "Title Track". Score 1 for Anarchy!
As for the song, this is another really good and dare I say "deep" Travis composition. We need one of these type songs on every album to counter-balance the goofier songs.

YOUR 8 BOYFRIENDS

You and your 8 boyfriends seems like such a waste of my time
But I sit alone by the telephone frustrated that I'm not number nine

One, Two and Three can't make verbs agree
Four spends all day lifting weights
Five is a dick, Six and Seven are Psychics
Don't get me started on Eight

You and your 8 boyfriends... how'd my mother raise such a fool?
Cause you've dated so many people and each and every one is a tool

You and your 8 boyfriends, I'm losing all hope for a date
I sit and cry. I just want to die. Cause I'm not one of your eight boyfriends.

Notes about the song& recording: Sorry for a touch of ego, but this song's light humor is certainly inspired by and equal to some gems from Morrisey, Billy Bragg, Andy Partridge, Jonathan Richman, et al.

QUITE CONTRARY

Stuck behind two people in love at the mall today
Holding hands and talking like babies
Stuck behind two people in love at the mall today
They inched their way from the food court to Kay-Bee

You're walking slow so everybody knows: the depth of your feelings
Two hours later, you blocked the escalator. My eyes rolled to the ceiling

Stuck behind two people in love at the mall today
Locking eyes/hearts over heating
Stuck behind two people in love at the mall today
Wondering why mine is still beating?

We didn't laugh, your hearts are not halfed; so just step aside
This little go-to brings us to the coda about a girl with nothing inside
Mary

Mary, Mary Quite Contrary. How does your garden grow?
With broken hearts and false three starts, three breakups in a row
this should do wonders for my neuroses. My hangups as well
Instead of us moving to Boston
You can go to hell

Notes about the song& recording: My mother's favorite song on this album.



SHARON STONE

Ever since you left me
I've thought of all the sad things I said
Ever since you left me
I've written a million sad songs in my head

This is a sad song
This is a sad song
This is a sad song
This is a sad song

Ever since you left me
I've been wondering what to do
Because in spite of all the pain
I'm so much better off with you

This is a sad song
This is a sad song
Everybody dance, if you've got it going on
Get off the wall, get on the floor
Dance to my sad song
Every girl grab a guy, don't ask why
Every guy grab a girl, rock her world

You leaving should have been part of the plan
Since you left its been nothing but one night stands
with pretty girls, come on, come on
Shake yo ass bitches to my real sad song
I'm getting digits from every girl in the joint
All my friends hated you, guess they had a point
I'm looking forward to a cheaper December
No explaining where I been, hey I don't remember
They call me 'player' cause I like to play
Got more choices than Old Country Buffet
What was I talking about?

This is a sad song

When are you coming back girl?

Notes about the song& recording: My buddies Ken Martin and Mike Reinhardt use to live around the block. Mike was training to write movies scores and would pound on his piano all day long, when not stopping for our Survivor or Temptation Island viewing. At the time, I was rather heartbroken because of a failed relationship and told myself that I would learn to play the piano and write a really good slow sad song just as my idols like Westerberg and Billy Bragg did.
But before I even got close to the keys, I was having a change of heart. "Why should I write a sad song and let her know how bad she hurt me?" The song in my head would start as a slow heartbroken song, but then change to a spiteful happy pop jaunt. I kept thinking "Wouldn't it be great to have a singer singing 'This is a sad song' over upbeat poppy music?" In the end, I never bothered Mike to borrow his piano.
Rather, I flew into DC to work with Trap on the final few songs for the album. While working on various songs, I mentioned to T that we needed a hip hop song. He broke out some drum loops and samples. While going through loops, Travis played me some strings loops that he wanted to use on a song sooner or later. As soon as I heard it, I thought back to my "sad song" idea. And thus this song came to be.

GINGER VS. MARY ANN

If I had to be stranded on a desert isle
so long as Ginger was there I would surely smile
There would be a few things I'd miss, I guess
but you would never catch me sending out an S.O.S.

Swinging in the hammock, the Professor would be the butt
of our inside jokes about building crap out of coconuts
I'd fix the hut, you'd bring the water
Between pick-up games with the occasional Globetrotter

Globetrotter, Globetrotter... hey hey
Globetrotter, Globetrotter... hey hey
Ginger I'm in love, Ginger I'm in love with you

Almost rescued in May, June, July, December
But I'd never join a club that would have me as a member
Two paths diverge in the wilderness
I'd take Ginger over Mary-Ann, that has made all the difference

Thought I had signed up for a three hour tour

We could build a raft in every episode
I bad mouthed your mom, you didn't have to go
come back to me girl. Or I'll haunt you Flatliner style
Come on, I hate you
you

Notes about the song & recording: Travis keeps claiming to be "anti-techno" but come on, he can claim this is Madchester not Techno, but I'm not so sure. My "thought I had signed up for a 3 hour tour" singing is the best I do on the album.

PARLEZ-VOUS FUNQUAIS?

Time - time moves in a circle
Life - life is a miracle
Move - ment requires momentum
no wonder I'm going no where

Time - time waits for no one
Life - cereal: Kids find it fun
Move - to the next one
and I'm dating a girl who's father
directed
the movie
C.H.U.D.
Cannibalistic. Humanoid. Underground. Dwellers.

Time - time ain't on my side
Life - life left me behind
Move - to the new school
Before LL gets another movie

Time - time here we go again
Life - rebirth here we go again
Move - to a new fool
I'm told to seize the day
carpe diem
Je m'appelle Luka
I want to seize the day,
but the day I want to seize
is yesterday
I'm screwed.

Notes about the song & recording: Travis wrote this instrumental for Edsel. I wrote some lyrics which I always wanted to add to the song, but Travis was very protective and wouldn't let me f around.

SHED

I'm going on out to the shed
I made a paper mache pinata shaped like your head
I didn't do it out of hate, I just got no one
And knocking bubblegum out of your head is really pretty fun
Mom worked in a coal mine, she didn't make much pay
I was a juvenile delinquent stealing paper mache
Now you might think this is insane
But you how can you think when you got peanut butter cups where you should have brains?

I'm going to the shed and your candy head
I'm going to the shed and your candy head
I made your eyes too green, made your lips too red
Where you should have brains, girl, you've got peanut butter cups instead

Well I'm starting to have my doubts
That we can shout it out
I'm out here in West Virginia
No one to see ya, no one to hear ya, fighting with a fake head
Knocked a hole in your mouth
For the first time, baby, something sweet came out
Well I don't know what's more confusing
Why I'm arguing with your fake head or why I am losing to your fake head?

I'll take you to my pick-up truck
and we all know what rhymes with truck, it's the word 'fuck'
You don't look yourself; my work was shoddy
If I weren't drunk on Schlitz, I might have made you a paper mache body
You may wonder why I made this pinata head
But listen to me, girl, some things are better left unsaid
I got no book smarts, but I sure ain't dumb
I nailed a 2x4 to a 2x4 and that's a 4x8 where's I's come from

Notes about the song & recording: This song was created in the best way we create songs. Travis was playing the basic riff because he wanted to make a song from it, and I started singing something to make him laugh. Most of the lyrics were ad-libbed right then as we improv-ed for about 20 minutes on the theme. We later sat down and shaped out the best jokes/lyrics into the framework. During the recording I was unsure just how many hiccups or drawl slurs to let into my voice... because I wanted the lyrics to be comprehendable.

2000 ORCHIDS (OR SOMETHING)

I love my trophy wife and she says she loves me
for only who I am: a rich celebrity
Like I would die for you or something

I run home every afternoon to check the machine in my room
This is the fourteenth day that I don't have a message from you
That just makes me feel so awful

It's worse than I pretend, but not as bad as Grisham writes
I cried when Kubrick died, you still miss 'The Heights'
Like you ain't got a brain or something

This happens every afternoon
2000 orchids in your room
and then some jackass points out that you aren't living here

That just makes me feel so awful
I hope you die cold and lonely

Notes about the song & recording: Did Travis really cry when Kubrick died? Or is this another Million Little Pieces-esque load of B.S.?

INDIE ROCK IS DEAD

Free. Perfect. Now.
That's how everybody wants it
Debaser downed
Ironic gin & tonic

Who'd have guessed the printing press would burn Johnny Tremaine's hand?
Maison de Pain, the cover of Jane, I don't think Rob Thomas is a man

The Colonel put it in a bucket
Chuck D's clocking ducats
You got a tattoo to show your individuality
like everybody else got a tattoo

Free. Perfect. Now.
That's how you really want it
'The Lung' collapsed somehow
A peach-eating Prufrock sonnet

Dreaming of roses and wine, Ernest Borgnine married four times
Life's not fair. Circle gets the square. Getting Jiggy with the Honeycomb Bear

The Colonel put it in a bucket
Chuck D's clocking ducats
You paid good money for a shirt from Old Navy which said 'Old Navy' across the front
They should have paid you

No one said it would last... and no one was right
So I'll sit here playing Free Cell and Minesweep on another lonely night
This has been done before
This has been done before
yeah


Notes about the song & recording: One thing that blows me away is how people dig this song. The Red & Black called my singing the worst they'd ever heard... I didn't think it was that bad, but they had a point. I handle all the guitar parts in a rather rudimentary way, with T adding a nice bass melody at the end. Despite these strikes, people tend to get into it. One reason it might be popular is that Travis added his really excellent background chorus... I'd titled the song "Indie Rock Is Dead" but never mentioned that in the lyrics. Travis singing it in the background makes the song united. O'Connell said the song reminded him of Built To Spill... that's because in the end section I was trying to ape Pavement... and Built To Spill have been aping Pavement for years.

This was suppose to be a slow song, but I seem to have trouble writing ballads because they always end up mid/fast tempo rockers in the end.

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