Welcome to my personal page! It's a little bit of fun, creative extravangance, and the result of drinking one too many RC Colas. If you hate frames, then check out the no-frames version of this page

I am a firm believer in words of wisdom. The java thingie below provides them, so click on them and become wise.

We interrupt this web page to heighten dramatic tension and, well, because we darn well feel like it. We now return to Gordon's Web Page, aka Browse THIS, Pal!

Gordon = Cartman from South Park?

Want to talk to me, or make rude comments? Then write me an e-mail, and I'll write back. I dig getting e-mail--it's the height of my day. Takes me away from the tv set once in awhile.

Sit down. Take your shoes off. Relax. Let this be your online entrance to the superhighway of entertainment, or something. If you came here from one of my subpages, welcome, and just bounce around, or something!

If any of your IM Force are caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This web page will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck, Mr. Phelps.