BELLY GRAMS


What is a belly gram? Back in the days when singing telegrams were all the rage, someone had the great idea of dressing up like a gorilla, and thus Gorilla-Grams were born. Then someone ordered a belly dancer. Oh dear! Saying 'belly dancing singing telegram' was way too long, and thus the Belly-Gram was born. You can try to change the name, but with agents all over the U.S.A. using the term, good luck. It's still better than Strip-Oh-Gram. Just for the record, belly dancers only take off their veil, and many of them do not do bachelor parties or book shows with less than 5 people in attendance. They only last from 5 to 20 minutes, so you always leave them wanting more. It takes a certain personality to flourish at belly-grams, but they are the bread and butter of many a dancer. There just aren't that many Middle Eastern restaurants that hire dancers in this land. Stage opportunities are few and far between, and you could starve to death waiting for a part in a movie as the token belly dancer..........soooooo......

ZELENA'S TOP TEN TIPS FOR BELLY GRAMS

I've done belly grams for 20+ years in various parts of California. I hope these tips help.


1. Directions, directions, directions. Is the party on Main St., Main Pl. or Main Way? Is it at the Carlton Hotel or the Carlson Motel? Is it in the banquet room on the 4th floor or the cocktail lounge on the 2nd floor? Don't trust the hostess to know where the hotel is. Many people don't even know the address of the place the party is. And every mistake you make costs you at least 15 minutes to correct. Allow time to park and to walk several blocks. Remember all the good parking will be taken up by guests who got there an hour before you did. I take walking shoes and switch to dance shoes on the porch. If it's a gated community you may need a passcode to get in. Is there a fee to park? Will they pay it or do you have to bring cash?


2. If possible, arrive early, dressed and ready to go. That way you eliminate the 'peeping tom' problem. You also know you haven't forgotten your bra if you are wearing it.


3. Always take your own tape/CD player, fresh batteries, and 2 tapes in case one breaks. It sure beats having the audience sing Hava Nagila because there is no electricity on the site.


4. Expect the unexpected. This includes dogs jumping on you, children spilling punch on your costume, drunks with wandering hands, etc. Practice what you will do or say before you get there. My favorite line if your top falls off is by Shirley MacLaine......."At least you know they are real." Yes, it will happen once, I promise.


5. Practice dancing on uneven surfaces. You never know if you'll be dancing on asphalt, grass, a cow pasture, broken patio concrete, or mud. Plan to wear shoes. A broken piece of glass on a ballroom floor can ruin your career.


6. Tell your hostess you have other gigs to go to (even if you don't. She doesn't have to know the late night appt. is with Mr. Bubbles and your rubber ducky). Otherwise you may find yourself in a back bedroom for over an hour waiting for Uncle Mustapha to arrive. Fifteen minutes is reasonable. An hour is not.


7. Fear: Remember your audience is often more afraid of you than you are of them. Use that to your advantage. If you want someone to dance with you, look for a gregarious person, not the guy crawling under the table.


8. Wear your bomb proof costume. You will be in close quarters. You usually will not have room for a sword, a cape, a candelabra, etc. Keep it simple. Zills and veil are plenty. Wear a costume that works indoors and out. I went to dance at a restaurant once in a major resort, only to realize it was a drive-thru only affair, and here I was on a cold night in a cabaret outfit with an hour before my show time.


9. Safety....watch out for open flames (candles, campfires), overhead ceiling fans, and cigarettes.


10. Bring your sense of humor. I'm not that attractive but people like me because I am warm and fun. I've seen drop dead gorgeous dancers who got poor feedback because they seemed 'cold and aloof'...the kiss of death for belly grams. If you have a good time, they'll have a good time. A bright smile covers up many flaws. Don't forget your veil and zills on the way out the door.


Yours, Zelena
copyright 2001

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