They say this is their motto

We are using the chairman's photo and the logo/motto here with the OK of the legal department of the "Man Will Never Fly Society." After ~ repeat, after ~ you have read everything else in this issue of The Poor Town News, you have our permission to glide back to this point and click here to cruise the tipsy skies of denial at their website. There they will tell you what you need to know about their views of celebrations and commemorations of events and non-events at Kitty Hawk NC ~ past and future.

~~~~~~~~

This Week's Story

~~~

LOOKING UP

© 1999 James D. Pearce

Having had an intense amateur's interest in astronomy all his life, Clem felt he'd passed well beyond the UFO stage. But around 4 p.m. one late-summer afternoon, an unusual sky event literally left him weak.

It wasn't unusual for big jets to fly over the area, as there was a large airport within a dozen miles. The house wasn't in the landing pattern but frequently the big ones came over quite a way up as they made their turns to and from the airport.

For some reason that afternoon, Clem noticed a big jet, much higher than usual, coming from due east and heading west in the direction of the airport but far too high to be planning a landing there.

He didn't know what, but something about the big jet kept his attention.

Then it suddenly seemed that there were two other jets – military craft, he thought, from Goldsboro or Fort Bragg or some such place – and they appeared to be flying circles around what he had assumed was a passenger jet.

This really got his attention, and as usual when he was a little baffled, he called for his wife.

"Come here. Come quick. Come here. You've got to come see this."

She didn't respond immediately, so he renewed his yelling, a little more agitatedly.

"Come here right now! Quick! I want somebody besides me to see this! I don't want to be called crazy."

All the while he kept his eyes on the spot in the sky, which now seemed to be moving westward more slowly.

When his wife came, he yelled, pointing: "Do you see that? See? It looks like two planes flying circles around another plane!"

"Yeah," said Thelma. "I see it. Weird. That's weird!"

Then they noticed that now the "big jet" was pulling ahead. The entire aerial parade was moving slowly westward, but the "circling jets" were clearly falling behind and a gap was opening between them and the single plane.

"Keep watching," said Thelma. "I'll get the binoculars."

The single plane had disappeared when she returned, but the "circle" still was in clear view.

He focused the glasses.

"Thelma, it's on fire! That thing is on fire, and it's spinning around!"

He realized then that the circular sight he was seeing was moving much slower than the single jet had been, and the fact that the other plane had passed underneath it had been confusing him.

"What do you think it is?" asked Thelma.

"I don't know ...... it looks like ...... it looks like it might be a big plane ...... way up in the sky ...... spinning around ...... AND ON FIRE!"

At this point, they felt some other people should be watching. Thelma ran for the phone. Clem never took his eyes off the "circle of fire" while she was gone. When she returned, she was talking to "911."

911: "What is it? Can you describe it a little better, please?"

Thelma: "It's ...... it's ....... it's round ....... I don't know ......"

Clem, interrupting: "Tell her it looks like a plane way up in the sky, on fire and spinning around."

911: "What did you say?"

Clem: "Tell her ......"

Thelma: "Here, you take the phone and tell her!"

Clem: "It's a plane, I think, a big plane, spinning around ...... and ON FIRE!"

911: "What? Sir, hold on; stay on the line ...... Don't hang up ...... I'm going to connect you to the tower at RDU. Don't hang up now. I'm going to stay on the line, too."

Clem: "The tower – RDU – OK, I'm not going to hang up ...... I'm going to keep watching!"

911: "Tower, this is 911."

Voice: "Hello?"

911: "This is 911 – I have this man on the line – "

Clem, breaking in: "Listen, do you see what I'm looking at? Right straight overhead! Right straight up! It looks like a circle of fire! It looks like a big plane way up in the sky that's on fire and spinning around ...... I'm telling you ...... I'm not some nut ...... I'm an amateur astronomer ...... I know what I'm looking at ...... This is not a UFO ...... this is something serious ...... You've got to see it! Do you see it?"

Voice: "See it? No, I don't see it."

Clem: "Well, look straight up! You've got to see it! It's a circle of fire, straight up in the sky!"

Voice: "Sir, I'm sorry, because this is real interesting, but I can't do a thing. This is Smith Coal and Oil in Garner. You ought to – "

911: "Smith Coal and – "

Clem, talking over the operator: "Smith Coal – good Lord – "

911: "Sir, will you please shut up a minute! No ...... no ...... hold on ...... don't hang up. I gave you a wrong connection ...... hold on ...... don't hang up! I'm going to get RDU."

Clem: "OK. Right! I still see it!"

RDU: "Tower. RDU. Can I help you?"

911: "RDU, I have this man on the line ...... he says – "

Clem, breaking in: "RDU! ...... is this RDU? Do you see that burning plane?"

RDU: "Burning plane? Where?"

Clem: "Almost right on top of you!"

RDU: "On top ......"

Clem: "Yeah! Right on top of you!"

RDU: "Sir, where are you?"

Clem: "Where am I? ...... Look up ...... look up in the sky! A circle of fire! Right on top of you!"

RDU: "Sir, I'm looking ...... there is nothing up there!"

Clem: "Nothing up – good Lord, man ...... How high can you see out there?"

RDU: "12,000 ...... 25,000 feet ...... We can see up to 25,000 feet!"

Clem: "Well, you better look some more! ...... I'm not a nut! ...... I know what I'm seeing. If you're looking up, you've got to ......"

RDU: "Sir! Sir!"

Clem: "Yes?"

RDU: "Sir, there is nothing up there!"

Clem: "Nothing! ...... well, you'd better open your eyes, because it's going to be on your head in just a minute! It's ...... It's ...... It's ......"

RDU: "Sir? Sir?"

Clem: "It's ...... It's gone! ...... It's gone! ...... It's ......"

RDU: "Gone? Well, OK, sir. Thank you, sir. Goodbye."

Clem almost fainted.

911: "Sir? Are you there, sir?"

Clem: "Uh ...... uh ...... uh ...... uh ......"

911: Well, good day, sir. Thanks for calling 911. Goodbye!"

Then the policeman pulled into the driveway.

"Where is the burning plane?"

"Uh ...... uh ...... I didn't call the police," Clem said, sinking into a yard chair.

"I know. We monitor 911," said the policeman.

"Oh," Clem said, pointing straight up. "Well, it was right there ...... It ......"

He could say no more. Thelma took over.

She told the policeman that Clem really wasn't crazy, he was just excited.

"We really saw it," she said.

The policeman looked them over slowly.

"Well, yeah, OK. Don't be upset. I understand."

He opened the door of the police car.

"Better safe than sorry," he said, starting his engine.

Glassy-eyed, Clem stared after the departing officer.

"Yeah," he said. "Yeah."

~~~~~~~~

This Week's Verse

~~~

A young aviator lay dying,
at the end of a bright summer's day.
His comrades had gathered around him,
to carry his fragments away.

The aeroplane was piled on his wishbone,
his Lewis was wrapped round his head.
He wore a spark plug in each elbow,
'twas plain he would shortly be dead.

He spat out a valve and a gasket,
as he stirred in the sump where he lay,
and then to his wondering comrades
these brave parting words did he say:

Take the manifold out of my larynx,
and the butterfly valve off my neck.
Remove from my kidneys the cam rods,
there's lots of good parts in this wreck.

Take the piston rings out of my stomach,
and the cylinders out of my brain.
Extract from my liver the crankshaft,
and assemble the engine again.

Pull the longeron out of my backbone,
the turnbuckle out of my ear.
From the small of my back take the rudder,
there's all of your aeroplane here.

I'll be riding a cloud in the morning,
with no rotary before me to cuss.
Take the lead from your feet and get busy,
here's another lad needing the bus.

(Boozing song of British Royal Flying Corps, WWI)

~~~~~~~~

This Week's Mailbox

~~~

...... A wonderful writeup on John Sewell (in The Poor Town News No. 45). John was a great friend and a wonderful person. Wish we had more like him. He could put on a show by himself. Every time I look over at the old Hill Chevrolet building, I think about him sitting back, smoking a cigar, and smiling all the time. He never met a stranger. ~ Joe Dickerson, Murfreesboro NC

~~~

...... Thanks for another fine story. Those "showboat" performances (No. 45) sound really fantastic ...... and 5-cent Cracker-Jacks! ~ Norma Scott, W. Melbourne FL

~~~

...... Thank you very much for ...... The Poor Town News. Growing up in Murfreesboro was a wonderful experience and a privilege ...... John Sewell's son and I were very close friends throughout his life. John Jr. grew up in the same house in which his father was reared. I have forwarded this issue (No. 45) to John Mitchell Sewell III, who is blood kin to me ...... Hopefully, F. Roy Johnson is not too recent to be of interest in future issues (of The Poor Town News). He was one of the town and county's more colorful characters. ~ Charles Read Vincent, Kinston NC

~~~