HOW ELMO GOT SO CONTRARY
© 2001 James David Pearce
Elmo had a hard-won reputation as being strongly opinionated, and strongly inclined not to let anybody else change his opinions.
Even by his best friends, he sometimes was considered to be downright hard-headed. But most of them put up with him, because it usually turned out that he was right about a lot of subjects.
Still, his cynicism, skepticism and general contrariness always piqued the interest of his acquaintances, and generally provoked a lot of jibes aimed in his direction.
One day, after trouncing him soundly in a game of checkers at the barber shop, Clem put the question straight to Elmo:
"How did you ever get so danged contrary?"
"Well," said Elmo, "When I first went to school, my mama and my daddy told me to pay close attention to my teacher and learn something.
"When my teacher started talking, one of the first things she said was that the earth went around the sun.
"Well, every day I went out in the yard and looked up, and I could reach no conclusion other than that the sun went around the earth. That fact was plain to see.
"Then my teacher said the earth was round. It was also plain to me that so far as I could see, the earth was flat.
"Now, I tried to take my mama and my daddy seriously when they said the teacher would teach me something.
"And I tried to take the teacher seriously when she came up with this stuff.
"But I had to take seriously what I could see with my own eyes.
"Over time ~ thinking about what mama and daddy told me to do, what the teacher tried to teach me, and what I could see for myself, things got kind of confusing.
"Now I have a hard time taking anything or anybody seriously.
"Seems to me like the whole thing is just one big joke.
"On us."
~~~~~~~~~
THE BARBERS THREE
© 2001 Rebecca Parker Pearce
The barber shop in Murfreesboro had only had its third barber for about a month now.
Seba had started the place, and the cutting was so good that before long he had to bring in a second chair and get another fellow, Walter Dale, to come in and help him ~ working on "halves," with Seba getting the rakeoff for providing the tonsorial equipment and the roof over their heads.
But the popularity of the little shop continued to grow.
Not only as a place to spend two-bits to get a good haircut and a shave, but as a retreat for the town's males from the world of work and worries ~ which in the early '30s was coming up a whole lot less work and a whole lot more worries.
So Seba had to go 'way over to Chowan County and find another fellow to come in and help him and Walter cope with the growing crowd of males lining up in the chairs along the wall and on the benches along the front window. That's how Willie White came to town.
Now the barber shop had three fellows working behind the chairs, and except for the big mill at the river which had a hundred or so fellows showing up trying to get a day's work making baskets now and then, it had become about one of the largest employers in the little town. It was right up there in a class with Wynn Bros. Department Store and the Pure Food Market, which also had around three or so employees each.
Hair cutting and shaving weren't the only things that went on at the barber shop, however.
It also was home to a select social crowd and served as the seat of the town's main discussion group, and was the place you went to find what the new "news" was on the six days of the week when The Hertford County Herald didn't come out.
Elmo was one of the leaders of the discussion group and also aided mightily in the distribution of the day's news.
Sometimes, you might say, he even dominated the conversation when Seba was busy shaving somebody or engaged in trimming a particularly thick head. Elmo, nor anyone else, could dominate the word-play when Seba wasn't otherwise fully engaged because Seba was one of those fellows who not only knew everything about anything but could and would talk the shoes off a mule.
Once, when Clem, Elmo and the crowd were sitting around talking things over ~ and Seba was busy with his straight razor ~ Bud the new mechanic over at Hill Chevrolet came in and got in the waiting line in the seats over against the wall.
Bud really didn't know which barber he wanted to wait for, however, and in a low voice, he communicated this fact to Clem and Elmo ~ asking them for their opinion as to the best chair to choose.
Elmo quickly seized the opportunity to enlighten him.
"Well," he said, "if you want a fair haircut and want to know everything about everything in this county and the next, and in the state and the world, go to Seba Underwood.
"If you just want a good haircut and don't care too much about what's going on in the world, go to Walter Dale.
"If you don't give a dern about haircuts or anything else either," said Elmo, "then go to Willie."
~~~
Seba's broad field of knowledge and his readiness to share it with all comers was so well known in the town that even the little children were aware of his awesome range.
Eddie, about 9 or 10, was the son of Joice's sister Ella. He wasn't particularly fond of school.
"Mama," he said one day, "why didn't you marry Mr. Seba Underwood instead of marrying daddy?"
"Why, Eddie, what on earth makes you ask a question like that?" said his mom.
"Well," said Eddie, "Mr. Seba ~ he knows everything ~ and if you had married him instead of daddy, then Mr. Seba would have been my daddy ~
"And then he could have told me everything ~ and then I wouldn't have to go to school."
~~~
Barnes Bros. Barber Shop, Murfreesboro 2001
Elmo always liked to hang out
at the barber shop
~~~~~~~~~
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