Laughing Gas: Humorous Ramblings
Entire Contents © by John Schlabach |
Happened again last night... Dang alien abductions! One minute, you're sound asleep and the next, you're beamed aboard the mothership and you're being probed. Not that I'm complaining. It's just an inconvenience. "Look fellas, tonight's not good for me. I've got to get up early. Hey, where were you space monkeys last night when I was all dressed and waiting for you up on the roof for almost 7 hours? Huh?" They usually just shrug their bony little shoulders and I get some lame telepathic sorry excuses about "taking a wrong turn at Jupiter" or "losing the only set of keys to the spaceship". Yea, right.... On the way out, one of the little guys grabs my robe and slippers for me. "Here. You're going to need these when we drop you back to earth somewhere in a cow pasture." Gee, thanks for the tip, buddy.... Next thing you know, I'm on some kind of examining table and I'm hearing: "Oops. Sorry about that, earthling. This is my first abduction. Now, this may hurt a bit. Just try to relax." Oh, great! I get the new guy and he doesn't know how to insert the probing device. Just my luck....Oh, and by the way, contrary to what's been said before, martians are NOT 4' little green men. They're actually 3'8'' little chartreuse men. They wear lifts in their spaceboots to make them look taller. (Although, I did notice one guy wearing red high heels.)
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