Laughing Gas: Humorous Ramblings
Entire Contents © by John Schlabach |
As we all know, in a few years the earth will hurtle out of its orbit towards the sun. (Remember, it was in all the papers.) When it does, life will change for those of us who are still alive. First of all, it's going to be scorchingly hot! So get used to it. Here's my advise: stock up on suntan lotion. Lots and lots of suntan lotion. You'll be needing it. It will help you achieve that perfectly radiant "charred and blistery sunburn" look that will be all the rage. (Besides, you want to peel evenly, don't you?)... By the way, tanning beds will become completely useless. You might as well throw away your heaters, electric blankets, furnaces, icecube trays, and wool sweaters, too. (Well, actually, all clothing, for that matter.) You wont be needing them anymore. However, you might want to think about getting a few hundred more air conditioners. You WILL be needing those... Get used to wearing several pairs of sunglasses at a time,too. Cuts down on the intense glare.... Did I mention it's going to be hot? I don't mean like Florida hot. I mean a REALLY, REALLY flesh-burning hot!
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