Surprising statistic in a current environmental journal...it seems scientists have now determined that the most common cause for the increasing amount of pollution in our oceans is... whale diarrhea!! Gees, who would have thought?... Wonder if they make antacids the size of a tractor tire?
It's amazing to me just how close the words 'lap' and 'tap' can sound in a crowded noisy club. Gees, you change just one letter and suddenly it's a totally different type of dance . Oh sure, don't get me wrong, I admit it was a very rousing dance performance. I'm just saying, I should have never paid THAT much for a TAP dance....
I've heard that scientists are trying to invent cars that are powered by other means besides gasoline and one of the actual sources being considered is... urine. Hmm? A urine-powered car? Well, I don't know if this would ever be possible, but it sure would be fun to fill up the tank and find out !!
Electric toothbrushes scare me... I'm not sure I want to be putting something that's electric under running water and then sticking it into my mouth?...
I'll never forget the time I had amnesia... At least I think I did...
Hmm? I've noticed these days that more ants are flying... I can remember when ants would just walk everywhere. Since when did they suddenly start flying? Apparently these new and improved so-called "flying" ants can get back to the anthill with their cookie crumb even faster now! ( Fewer sprained thorax and antennae insurance claims, I suppose.) You know, I personally think they're actually just regular lazy ants who are hang gliding with some other bugs stolen wings! Come on, let's be realistic here, it has to be some kind of a makeshift stolen wing hang glider. Ants certainly wouldn't be able to build a real hang glider... You can't find parts that small.
Apparently, the only ones deathly afraid of clowns, besides of course myself, are children and BULLS. How else do you explain the purpose of rodeo clowns? ... To me, the creepiest thing about a rodeo clown is that they're not even real clowns. They're more like hillbilly clowns. I'll bet even real clowns are afraid of rodeo clowns...
I never could understand why anyone would wear one of those sleep masks to bed... Here's a little tip. Why not try what I do. It seems to work every night for me. Turn off the lights and CLOSE YOUR EYES!!... Are you people sleeping under intense spotlights? Glowing radioactive waste? Directly facing the sun?... If you can still see light even with your eyes closed, then you might have other problems to worry about. I'm no doctor, but I'm guessing you've got holes in your eyelids...
Not sure I really want to be eating something called "cured ham"? Cured of what? Sounds like something that might have at one time had a serious medical ailment. No thanks, I'll pass... Course, I'd rather eat "cured ham", than "incurable ham". Better yet, just give me some "heart attack ham" or "died of natural causes ham". Mmmm, now that sounds tasty!
