The Ultimate Bad Hair Day - a TRUE story! By Judy Kelsey, Dury Voe Shelties Well...if ever a dog person has done a stupid thing, today certainly takes the cake.  (Not that I EVER do anything goofy or unsmart…. I have quite a few other Judy-stories, but this one is by far the funniest) To make a long story shorter, I was hurrying to get ready to take a dog for his OFA hip x-ray, an appointment I had waited months for, had to re-schedule a couple of times, and was proud of myself that I was all ready to go (EARLY, EVEN!), except for my hair. Well, I got the nearest curling iron heated up (the kind some MAN probably designed, as a subversive attack on all unsuspecting women - you know, the kind that has those rows of teeth all around the flippin' thing ?!?) Well, in my rush, I forgot that this kind of iron is used only for short hair, and is supposed to be used just to curl the ENDS of your hair - not to roll right up from the long ends to the scalp………..need I say more, girls? I COULD NOT get that infernal thing out of my hair! I tried to roll it,  unroll it, pull, push - and it just made matters worse, the tangle becoming so tight, I couldn't MOVE the dumb thing, AT ALL. (Luckily, I did  think to turn it off!) I finally had such a rat's nest, I decided to put some conditioner on it, to see if slippery would help.  Well, it actually helped a little, but I still couldn't get the thing off, or anywhere near off, so I decided to try a half bottle of corn oil! (Don't laugh.  This is what we use on horses' tails that get birdox stick-ums all knotted up in them - I figured, HEY, it works for horses - it couldn't hurt to try, as my next option was to CUT the blasted thing off my head, leaving me with a very "mod"-type hairdo!) Alas, still no release, and now it is time to leave for the vet's or I am going to miss this appointment. Should I call and cancel?  Well, of course not!  I'M not going to let such a silly thing get in the way of getting that hip x-ray done!!!  So, here I go, on the toll road, putting my hand up to my head, pretending I was scratching, every time I passed a car.  (oh, by the way, getting ONTO the toll road, I very brilliantly drove up to the booth where a machine GIVES you the ticket?  In my flustered-ness, I DROVE RIGHT PAST the machine, THEN had to BAAACK UP, signaling the car behind me to please back up, too!  I don't think the driver saw the curling iron attached to my forehead, because she DID back up).  The toll booth lady at the other end looked at me kinda funny when I asked for a receipt (always thinking of Uncle Sam, you know!), but why would she think I looked funny?  I only had an oily old curling iron attached to the front of my face !! Now….half hour down the road, praying for no accidents, I finally get to the vet (I know everybody there), walk in with my dog under one arm, purse under the other, curling iron on the front of my head, with the cord wrapped around my neck about forty-two times so I wouldn't trip……..and, before the poor girl looks up from the desk, I stop about ten feet before the counter and say, "Now, don't laugh!" Well, she looked up and BURST out laughing, at which time everyone else that works there comes around the corner to see what's going on, and everybody is on the floor, doubled over.  (There was one lady in the "Cat Waiting Area" that just STARED, in utter disbelief - probably thinking, boy, these DOG PEOPLE are weird!) I hide from the other waiting room people, and the gal, now my friend for life, a vet assistant that was never so needed at her new job description... to rescue poor souls who walk in the door with electrical attachments to their skulls... Anyway, she worked at it for I don't know how long - luckily the vet was running late. Finally, she got a screwdriver (from someone's purse!) - I simply could not believe this - and took the end OFF the metal shaft, at which point, the handle and cord could slide out. Now, all the little comb-things were still rat-infested in my hair, but she said THAT almost looked like I did it on purpose, the way some hair styles are these days.  At least there was no longer a cord and curling iron body  attached.   She did finally get them out, one at a time, and do I have an aching head!?!  And, a bald spot about the size of a quarter right where my part starts on the front of my forehead… The vet thought it was especially funny, and vowed that he wouldn't tell anyone-ha, ha. He is nasty, and I know it will be all over the world (he had all of the other five vets AND his wife come out to see…), so I might as well tell the whole story myself.   He did say that in all his borned days as a vet, he has never had anything even CLOSE to this happen. In the words of a cohort of Roseanne Rosanna-Danna... "Nevermind." HOME Back to Judy Stories List