1. steal toilet paper from work to hoard in my bedroom

2. pay the rent

3. buy food

4. pack a lunch for tomorrow

5. do some laundry

6. buy a gun to shoot my boss, whose idea of "slumming" is riding the subway with the average schmoes

7. shine my ass-kicking boots

8. throw rotten eggs at neighbor's car

9. rearrange furniture for optimum karma potential

10. join Greenpeace

11. fuck boyfriend in socially unacceptable places

12. eat meat in front of vegetarians, murmuring "mmm, flesh"

13. write catty emails to blindly patriotic journalists regarding their articles