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When you're here, you can't show any emotion. You never reveal your true feelings, unless you want to be given your walking papers faster than you can say, "Holy shit." When you're here, you're nothing. You're not even a cog in the machine; you're invisible. You're ignored or shunned or passed in the hallways like a ghost. You start to doubt your own existence. "I think, therefore I am," begins to lose all meaning when you can't even hear yourself think over the roar of power tools. Your education is meaningless; you are a 'nerd' for trying to keep the brain cells from committing suicide, lemming-style. It doesn't matter where you came from, or who you think you are. As in Fight Club, it doesn't matter what your name is. When you are here, nothing matters except stopping that incessantly ringing phone as fast as you can. When it finally sleeps, you are free to go. Until tomorrow, when the whole bloody process begins again. You are a willing prisoner. You need what they give you. Fifteen measly dollars per hour's worth of hell. They are allowed to torture you during this time. Ten hours out of every day, because you have agreed to this price. And while they do not torture your body with whips and chains or hard physical labor, they will always play with your mind. They will get inside your head and screw with its contents as much as possible. And you will let them, because you know it is part of the game; it is in the unwritten rules. They say no one can hurt you unless you let them, but I have found this is not true. No matter what I do to guard against violations, they will always find a way in. They will always figure out my weaknesses before I can figure out my strengths (and my rights), and they will sneak past my defenses to destroy whatever I have built. They do not care about my pride, my sanity, my sense of self-worth. They can only destroy, and when I am an utter shambles, they will pretend to care until I am back on my feet and they can begin anew. Anger and depression are their tools. They inspire both, which are never properly harnessed by the victim and are therefore impotent against them. They work hard to keep you in a constant state of anger or depression. Usually depression, as it is even more ineffective than anger, which may inadvertently free you from your bonds with your superhuman strength fueled by murderous rage. Depression is key. It will crush you beneath it. You must be constantly aware of this, and you must repeat this mantra: Nothing here is worth my tears. You must steel yourself against them, refuse to allow your mind to be held hostage. Picture your mind as a medieval fortress, attacked by barbarians. You must pour your vats of hot oil, shoot your arrows into their hardened hearts, and catapult your stones at them to protect your inner sanctum. This is war. Sabotage at every turn. Lie, cheat, steal. Push the envelope as far as you can. Bend, but do not break. When the system is corrupt, you must act as an outlaw just to survive. Push everything as far as you can without getting caught. Do what you must to keep on living, instead of merely existing. You must win. There is no choice. And don't let the bastards grind you down.
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