BOATING TERMS

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ALCOHOL STOVE - Compact stove used in small-boat galleys to bring liquids to body temperature and solid foods to cabin temperature, usually within one hour. Preferred over propane stoves by many boat owners since, in a pinch, its propellant may be served as a cocktail. Alcohol stoves are also sometimes used by boat owners, together with a valid insurance policy, to convert their craft to a liquid asset.

ANCHOR - Any of a number of heavy, hook-shaped devices that is dropped over the side of the boat on the end of a length of rope, and which is designed to hold a vessel securely in place until (a) the wind exceeds 2 knots, (b) the owner and crew depart, or (c) 3 A.M.

BATTERY - Electro chemical storage device capable of lighting an incandescent lamp of a wattage about equal to that of a refrigerator bulb for a period of 15 minutes after having been charged for 2 hours.

BERTH - Any horizontal surface whose total area does not exceed one half of the surface area of an average man at rest, onto which at least one liter of some liquid seeps during any 12-hour period and above which there are not less than 10 kilograms of improperly secured objects.

BOOM - 1. Laterally mounted pole to which a sail is fastened. Often used during jibing to shift crew members to a fixed horizontal position. 2. The sound produced when an alcohol stove is used to convert a boat to a liquid asset.

BUOY - Navigational aid. There are several types and colors of buoys of which the most numerous are: the black can (seen as a fuzzy black spot on the horizon); the red or green day beacon (seen as fuzzy black spot on the horizon); the red nun (seen as a fuzzy black spot on the horizon); and the vertically striped black-and-white channel marker (seen as a fuzzy black spot on the horizon).

CABIN - A cramped closet-like compartment below deck where crew members may be stored until needed.

CATALOG - A list provided by manufacturers of items that are currently unavailable, or that have been dropped from production entirely.

CHART - 1. A large piece of paper that is useful in protecting cabin and cockpit surfaces from food and beverage stain. 2. A common decorative motif on place mats. 3. A nautical map that assists the boatman in determining whether he is on the water (blue on charts) or on land (yellow).

CIRCUIT BREAKER - An electromechanical switching unit intended to prevent the flow of electricity under normal operating conditions and, in the case of a short circuit, to permit the electrification of all conductive metal fitting throughout the boat.

CREW - Heavy stationary object used on shipboard to hold down corner of charts, anchor cushions in place, and dampen sudden movements of the boom.

FISH - Any living creature that does not call the Coast Guard when face with the prospect of being submerged for more than one minute.

FIX - 1. The estimated position of a boat. 2. The true position a boat and its crew is in most of the time.

FLASHLIGHT - Tubular metal container used for storing dead batteries prior to their disposal.

FLOATSAM - Anything floating in the water from which there is no response when the offer of a cocktail is made.

FLUKE - The portion of an anchor that digs securely into the bottom, holding a boat in place; also any occasion when this occurs on the first try.

HAZARD - 1.Any boat over 2 feet in length. 2. The skipper of any such craft. 3. Any body of water. 4. Any body of land within 100 yards of any body of water.

INLAND WATERS - As defined by the Coast Guard, areas of U.S. territorial waters abutting or passing through heavily populated regions, where a man who falls overboard will dissolve before he drowns.

LIFE PRESERVER - Any personal floatation device that will keep an individual who has fallen off a vessel above water long enough to be run over by it or another craft.

MARINA - Commercial dock facility. Among the few places, under admiralty law where certain forms of piracy are still permitted. Most marinas have up-to-date facilities for the disposal of excess U.S. currency that may have accumulated on board ship, causing a fire hazard.

PASSENGER - A form of moveable ballast.

PORTHOLE - A glass-covered opening in the hull designed in such a way that when closed (while at sea) it admits light and water, and while open (while at anchor) it admits light, air and insects (except in Canadian waters, where most species are too large to gain entry in this manner).

RACING - Popular nautical contact sport.

RADAR - Extremely realistic kind of electronic game often found on larger sailboats. Players try to avoid colliding with "blips", which represent other sailboats, large cargo vessels, and supertankers.

RELATIVE MOTION - The motion of one boat in relation to another on which the first is converging. If direct convergence occurs, one or both of the boats may develop downward motion.

RULE OF THUMB - Hitchhiking at sea is both illegal and inadvisable.

SCUPPERS - Customary disembarkation points for prudent rodents.

SEA BAG - !. Canvas sack in which a sailor’s gear is carried. 2. Aging mermaid.

SEXTANT - An entertaining, albeit expensive, device, which, together with a good atlas, is of use in introducing the boatman to many interesting areas on the Earth’s surface which he and his craft are not within 1,000 nautical miles of.

SHIPSHAPE - A boat is said to be in shipshape when every object that is likely to contribute to the easy handling of the vessel or the comfort of the crew has been put in a place where it can not be retrieved from in less than 30 minutes.

SHIP-TO-SHORE RADIO - A combination radio transmitter/receiver that permits captains and crew members to obtain wrong numbers and busy signals while at sea.

SWIMMING - A form of solo waterborne navigation, ordinarily practiced over short distances, whose expense, compared with sailing, in negligible, since the most costly item - the boat - is dispensed with entirely.

TACK - To shift the course of a sailboat from a direction far to the right, say, of the direction in which one wishes to go, to a direction far to the left of it.

WAKE - 1. Horizontal track in the water caused by passage of a boat. 2. Ceremony held if that track becomes vertical.

WEATHER HELM - Marked tendency of a sailboat to turn into the wind, even when the rudder is centered. 'Tis is easily countered by wedging a heavy object against the tiller. See CREW.