COMPUTER SNIPETS

"User Error" - replace user, hit any key to continue.

The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer.

There are two ways to write error free programs. Onlt the third one works.

Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither have I.

Today's Assembler command: EXOP - execute operator.

Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once.

How do I set my laser printer on "stun"?

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.

PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computet Industry Acronyms.

People who deal with bits should expect to get bitten.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning.

APATHY ERROR: Don't bother striking any key.

"Virus Detected!" Pour chicken soup on Motherboard? Y/N?

C:\BELFRY - where I keep my .BAT files.

"File Not Found" - call wife and ask her where you left it last."

The score just in: OS/2, Windows 95.

FATAL SYSTEM ERROR: Press F13 to continue.

COMMAND: A suggestion made to a computer.

You know you're in trouble when your computer has more memory than you do.

As a comouter I find you faith in technology amusing.

As far as we know our computer has never had an undetected error.

I had a life once. Now I have a computer and a modem.

Multimedia" - a product of the untalented, marketed by the unknowing, to the unbelievably confused. Frank Romano

Feel lucky? - update your software or hardware.

Artifical Reality is a representaion of the real world by a computer. The real worl is a representation by television. Frank Romano

I haven't lost my mind, I know it's backed up on a disk SOMEWHERE.

Can not find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert cup and press any key.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

My software never has bugs. It just developes random features.

<---------the information went data way----------->

Best file compression around - "DEL *.*" = 100% compression.

Definition of an Upgrade - take old bugs out, put new ones in.

Breakfast.com halted - cereal port not responding.

Why doesn't DOS ever say "excellent command or filename"?

>FILE NOT FOUND. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

Windows - just another pane in the glass.

SENILE.COM found...........Out Of Memory

Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

E-mail returned to sender ........ insufficient voltage.

Hidden DOS secret - add BUGS=OFF to CONFIG.SYS

Press any key to continue, or any other key to quit...