IF? .........WHY?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If sign makers go on strike is anything written on their picket signs?

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but writers aren't afraid to have a chapter 11?

Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?

Why is it called a driving rain when it's not safe to drive in it?

If a book about failure doesn't sell is it a success?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell is it homeless or naked?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves is it a hostage situation?

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

If it's tourist season, can't we shoot them?

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

If clothes make the man why are life guards so damn popular?

If you live in a nudist colony doesn't it take all the fun out of Halloween?

Why do they sterilize needles for a lethal injection?

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

If a mute swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves is it a hostage situation?

If a sign maker goes on strike is anything written on the sign?

If a funeral procession is at night do they drive with their lights off?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest will it make a sound?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

If the police arrest a mime do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

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