I spent several years (1994-1996 and 2000- 2001) living and working in Ukraine as a Peace Corps volunteer. I taught English at a Teacher Training Institute. Before I left for Ukraine, I knew nothing of the people and culture. My perspective as a Peace Corps volunteer is a little different than someone who visits Ukraine for a few days. It wasn't until I came home that I was able to put things into perspective and view Ukraine in a somewhat positive light. Little did I know what an effect my two years in Ukraine would have on my life. These two years were good, bad, frustrating, and definitely some of the best times in my life. The following are some of the highlights and my impressions of Ukraine.

After three months of training in Kyiv, all the volunteers were sent to their individual sites throughout Ukraine. I spent the next to years in a small city named Nizhyn (80,000 people, small by Ukrainian standards) in the northwestern part of the country. As with many towns in Ukraine it had a lot of history. At one point there were as many as 80 churches in this small area. Many of these beautiful Ukrainian churches are gone, but some still remain and are being renovated. It made Nizhyn a little more interesting than other cities in Ukraine I have visited.

One of the many old churches in Nizhyn

My first impression of this city was that this was "Mayberry". It didn't have those high rise apartment buildings that all look the same like most cities had. Nizhyn had a small town character. Everyone knew who and where the Americans were. One time when I was coming back from a trip I got into a taxi at the train station and I didn't have to say where I lived, the driver already knew. Because my roommate and I were the only Americans in town, it wasn't always easy. People were always staring at us and talking about the things we did. If we went to a kiosk and bought a Snickers (our favorite treat) everyone in town would know before long.

For the most part, the living quarters were pretty good. I lived in a dormitory near the Institute where I taught. My roommate and I shared four rooms and our own bathroom and shower. One room was turned into a kitchen with a refrigerator and a hot plate. Most of the time we had hot water, but there were days and weeks that it was only a dream. The worst part of living in the dormitories was that in the winter there was no heat. You may think I am exaggerating, but it was true. I am from Wisconsin, so I am used to cold weather, but it is different when you have a heated home to return to. In winter I would have three layers of clothes on all the time, even in bed. I had about five or six wool blankets on my bed. My roommate and I would go to the kitchen to play cards with blankets wrapped around us and we would sit on our hands for warmth.

The teacher trainer institute that I taught at was something I always liked to look at and admire. Just looking at the magnificent building you could almost see what it was like 125 years ago when it was built. Catherine the Great's finance minister built the Institute for the sons of noblemen. The grounds around the building are unkept, because of lack of funds. You can still see what was once beautiful trees, bushes, flowers, and even a small pond. Inside the Institute was a place called the "picture gallery". When I first heard about the "picture gallery" I thought it would be a room with a bunch of soviet style pictures of people with serious expressions on their faces (no smiles). I had no idea what a treasure was hidden inside. There was a small three-room museum mostly dedicated to Gogol, who once attended the Institute. At the end of the tour was a "picture gallery" filled with old, museum quality paintings from the Hermitage or donated by the builder of the Institute. It was the most amazing collection I had ever seen.

Nizhyn Pedagogical Institute is where I taught.

These are my students at the Institute.

Visitors to Ukraine will tell you how warm and hospitable Ukrainian people are. I agree you can have a wonderful experience when you are welcomed into a family and can count on those people for wonderful food, a car to go places, and the security of having a native speaker with you. Some on my favorite memories are of the people I have met and of the way Ukrainian families and friends welcomed me into their homes and hearts, asking nothing in return. I met and married my husband during my second year in Ukraine. As it is anywhere in the world, everything looks better when you are surrounded by friends and family. In Ukraine a table filled with wonderful food and a bottle of vodka is all that is needed to seal a friendship, even if they speak different languages. Being an American in Ukraine can sometimes put you at a celebrity status. Everyone wants to talk to you or have you over for dinner.

One of the highlights of my Peace Corps experiences was when I visited a tiny village in Northern Ukraine. I was invited to visit the school there by one of the teachers. When my roommate and I arrived, we were treated like celebrities. We were the first Americans and the first foreigners ever to visit this village. Our host showed us the oldest house in the village and the old women who lived there let us take a look inside. It was like stepping back in time. The furnishing and decorations were traditional Ukrainian. The old women told us that her father was killed trying to save the land and house from communist take-over.

Me in front of the oldest house in the village.

Continuing on with our walk through town we were curious to see what they had in the one little shop they had. It was very small and didn't have much in it, but that didn't surprise us. We said hello to the women in the store and as usual got a few laughs because we spoke Ukrainian with a funny accent. As we were leaving the store, three old women followed us out and stood on the corner literally with their eyes and mouths wide open because they had never seen an American before.

The school had a big celebration for our arrival. The students put on a little show and then there was a chance for students and teachers to ask questions. After all the questions were answered, the children went home, and the party began with all the teachers. The cafeteria had one big table filled with food. We all sat around the table eating and of course drinking vodka. All the toasts made that day were in honor of our visit. It is probably the closest I will come to being a celebrity.

The biggest event of my life and a wonderful example of traditional Ukrainian culture and hospitality was when my husband and I got married. We had a traditional Ukrainian wedding. My husband's family made all the preparations including all the food for 60 people. The wedding day started with my husband bargaining and eventually buying me from my maid-of honor (the groom is supposed to buy the bride from her parents, but my family was unable to attend). After my husband gave a bottle of champagne, a box of chocolates, and recited a poem, the deal was sealed and we could go to the "Zags" or the wedding palace.

The ceremony included drinking champagne, exchanging rings, bowing to honor the parents, and trying to step on the traditional wedding towel at the same time. There is an old wives' tale that says who ever steps on the wedding towel first will be the boss of the house. After my husband nudged me so I knew when to say "I do," the ceremony was over. Everyone came up to congratulate us and gave us flowers. On our way to the reception, we stopped at the city's war monument, left some flowers and took some pictures.

Wedding ceremony of Kathy and Oleg Ivchenko

The reception was an event that was enjoyed by all, a real exchange of cultures. My Peace Corps friends came to celebrate and were my surrogate family for the day. By the end of the night Americans and Ukrainians were singing and dancing together as if they were all of the same culture. The reception basically follows a pattern of events. First there are toasts made to the bride and groom (literally everyone gives a toast). The table is filled with food and drink. Then there is a lot of eating, drinking, and dancing. Usually someone is hired (or it could be a relative) to be the master of ceremonies for the night. This person introduces the people who are going to give toasts, sets up fun games for the bride and groom, and sets the time for people to eat, drink and dance. The pattern of eating, drinking and dancing is repeated with another course of food, more toasts, and more dancing until the end of the reception. All during the reception the best man has to stay very close to the bride. If a wedding guest steals the bride's shoe or takes the bride and hides her while he is not looking, the best man has to pay to get her back. The payment could be a bottle of champagne, drinking a shot or two of vodka, or dancing in front of everyone.

Our wedding reception

The second day of the wedding starts in the late morning or early afternoon. The guests come for another day of eating, drinking, and dancing. It is usually over by late afternoon. This party is a little more mellow than the night before. There are some traditions that are reserved for this second day. The first one is that the maid-of-honor and the best man trade places with the bride and groom. Traditionally the maid-of-honor and best man are supposed to be single so they can be paired up on the second day of the wedding in the hopes that they will be the next to be married. The godparents also play a part in the celebration. Traditions vary from region to region, but in my husband's region the godparents are put in a wheelbarrow and thrown into a pile of dirt. I don't know the significance of this, but I thought it was better than throwing the godparents off a pier into the Black Sea like they do in Southern Ukraine and Crimea. The third day is a party for the parents. A small number of friends and family gather at the parents house to celebrate the wedding. The bride and groom don't have to be there.

Those who visit Ukraine for a short time don't realize how hard life really is over there. Especially if they have people to drive them around in cars and they don't have to shop and prepare their own food. Most Ukrainians put up a good front and won't tell you how hard day to day survival is.

Everyday living in Ukraine may not be what you may think. People on the street, on public transportation, or waiting in line at the bread store can be rude, inconsiderate, and frustrating. I have been pushed, stepped on, and harassed by a drunk person more times than I can remember. Once I was even accused of stealing towels on a train when the conductor tried to extort money from the "rich Americans." The rudeness of people in public is something myself and the other volunteers tried to understand but could never find an answer as to why. Maybe it's the fallout from the demise of the soviet empire, or maybe people are just trying to survive and politeness has no part.

The hardest part of living in Ukraine is just the day-to-day survival. There were days that I said if I have to wash one more piece of clothing by hand, wait in one more line, or be pushed around on one more electric train, I am going to leave. But I didn't, and now I can look back and say that I accomplished something that few Americans ever have done. I can now look back at my time in Ukraine and laugh at the bad things that happened and smile when remembering the good things. Sometimes I even miss living in Ukraine.