DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from Buffy
the Vampire Slayer, Joss Whedon and the WB own all rights. And get to reap all the
benefits, lucky stiffs.
The Gift
part 3
by bec
Chapter X
Marissa sat by the cot they had brought in and set up in the room, she watched William sleep. Every so often he would jerk or groan. She wished she could take his pain, or at least help him fight it. She silently admonished herself for even thinking that, she should hate him, not want to console him. But she couldn’t, she had tried, when he had left her with Angel she had wanted to hate him so much. But no matter how many times she had tried, hate wasn’t the emotion that came to her mind. The hate was pushed away by the love. That is the only emotion she felt when thinking about him. He was part of her; no matter what happened in her life, he would always be a part of it.
He jerked again, rattling the handcuffs that held his left leg and right wrist to the bars of the cot. They may trust her, but they weren’t taking any chances with Spike. And she really could not blame them, could she? She knew he had been terrorizing Buffy and her friends. They thought as humans, they could never realize what changes took place in a mind taken over by a demon. Even though her demon was weak, it was still a demon, she did not condone what the demon did, but she understood it. Far better than any human ever could. Spike could no more reject the demon’s thoughts than he could ignore the bloodlust that went along with it. Spike could be devious and downright tactical when it came to feeding, but she knew he did not relish in it as Angelus had.
The three women were the only ones left at the apartment, Cordelia and Oz had gone home to rest. Xander and Giles were making a trip to the market to buy food that Angel would need when he woke. It had taken a lot of arguing on the woman’s part so that the men would let them alone with the two unconscious men, but because of Marissa’s powers they finally agreed that the girls would be safe. Marissa had told them to keep the food light, soups, juices and crackers. Angel wouldn’t be ready to eat anything solid for awhile.
She looked at the bed where Angel lay, Buffy was laying cold compresses on his forehead, trying to fight the fever that had enveloped him as soon as they had gotten him comfortable. Buffy glanced up at Marissa; she spoke softly, "Thank you".
"You do not have to thank me, just love him, promise me that. He deserves to be loved, it is time for him to stop feeling guilty for what the demon has done. It is not going to be easy for you, you know that. With the demon gone for good I do not know how he will react. But I do know one thing; he will need you, now more than ever. He will fight you all the way but you have to be strong."
"I don’t know if I’m strong enough." Buffy laid her hand on Angel’s cheek, she could feel the heat rising from him. She reached down and straightened the blankets that were securely wrapped around his body. No matter how many layers they heaped on him, he continued to shake. Moans would escape his lips every few moments. Marissa could see the pain appear in Buffy’s eyes at every little sounds he made.
"Your wrong, that is the first thing I recognized in you-- your strength --it runs deep in you. Marissa looked down at William again. "They are always talking about woman being the weaker sex. Their wrong, dead wrong. Woman have always had to be the strong ones , men have always been traipsing off to somewhere or another and we are left behind to pick up the pieces. To find riches, war, glory. It is always one reason or another. It is one of the constants of the world. Woman are always the ones left behind to clean up the messes, take care of the home, the children, the emotions. It does not matter what the year is, or the country. I believe God made us strong to survive in this world.
"Is that what you have been doing, surviving?" Buffy spoked quietly, never taking her eyes off of Angel.
Willow moved to stand by the foot of the cot, Buffy looked across at the older woman. Marissa smiled. Buffy noticed it was a sad smile, the kind you felt deep down in your soul.
Marissa turned to the two woman "Not at first, I was pathetic back then. I could do nothing for myself, first William protected me, then Angel. Angel is the one who showed me I could survive. He taught me everything, how to live in this world between the light and the dark. How to survive without hurting anyone.
Buffy couldn’t contain herself any longer " How did you meet Angel?"
"I met Angelus first, I was one of the little games that he liked to play on people. He wanted to punish William for something; I never did find out what. He came to our village and sought me out. Told me he had news of William. I did not know that Angelus and Druscilla had taken William away from me. I did not know what had happened to him. When Angelus told me he knew where William was and that he could take me to him, I fell right into his trap. He waited until we were alone and he...... he murdered me. I woke up in William’s arms, I did not understand what was happening. He explained everything to me, what I was and why.
"Marissa, do you have a soul, like Angel did?" Willow ask the question that had been in the front of her mind for hours.
"No, Brother Luca and I have tried to figure out exactly what I am, but we could not come up with any reasonable explanation. Brother Luca explains it like this. I am like a child born with a deformity. This "deformity" has kept the demon from completely taking control of my human side. But it has not stopped the hunger for blood. I still need to feed on blood to survive.
"So you knew Spike before he was a vampire?" Buffy asked.
"Yes, he worked in my father’s stables on our estate in England." Marissa smiled. "He was wonderful with the horses, he could do anything with them."
"Wait -- Spike was a stableboy?" Buffy laughed.
Marissa looked at her with indignation, "yes he was and a damn fine one."
Buffy laughed harder, then the laughter infected Willow. Marissa looked from Buffy to Willow then to William. She too started to laugh. The three woman laughed until they had tears running down their faces.
"A stableboy, who would have thought that Spike was a stableboy." Willow giggled.
"He does not seem the type now to have done that kind of work, but in the 1800's it was respectable work." Marissa said wiping the tears from her eyes.
"Oh, its still respectable today, but I just can’t see Spike cleaning out horse stalls." Buffy said.
"Well; to tell you the truth he could usually talk one of the younger boys into doing that kind of work, he mostly worked with the horses. Like I said he could make a horse do anything he wanted it to." Marissa looked at William again.
"You love him don’t you?" Willow asked.
Marrisa looked at William lying on the cot, she thought a few moments then finally answered Willow. "Sometimes I think I hate him." Marissa knew she was lying to herself, but the words felt good. "He promised me that he would always be there for me, then he abandoned me with Angel. I finally came to understand that this was the only way he could keep me alive, I was slowly dying in his world. Mentally and physically," Marissa continued "Druscilla did like her little games too much to even think about letting me alone, she constantly harrassed me. Just stopping short of torture, she did not want to push William too far. After Angel’s soul was restored she knew that William was her only protection. But then I think of the William I first met. He was alive and full of life. I loved him since I was a child. When we first met I was only 11. I was an only child and my parents were not around very much. They preferred their life in society in London. They often left me alone on our estate in the country. I would follow William around everywhere, and he was nice to me, he did not treat me like a child. When I was fifteen he finally noticed that I was not a child anymore."
Marissa wondered why she felt comfortable talking to these young humans, she had never shared so much before, not even with Angel. "Once we snuck off to a fair that had set up in a meadow close to the estate. I purchase a belt buckle with a Celtic design on it for his birthday. He bought me a locket with the same design. A few weeks later on his birthday I gave him the belt and he gave me the locket. We took one look at them and started laughing. Then he stopped laughing; then kissed me and from that day forward we were inseparable."
"I have a stupid question." Willow stated.
"No question is stupid, what do you want to know?" Marissa asked.
"Well....what’s Spike’s real hair color?" Willow asked.
"What color is his hair? Willow that is a stupid question." Buffy laughed.
Marissa reached up and pulled on a silver chain hanging around her neck, she lifted her hair off her shoulders and pulled the chain threw the long locks. She looked down into her hands at the locket that rested there. She traced her fingers over the design on the front. It hadn’t been opened in over 50 years, she opened it slowly, she was afraid to look, afraid that after all this time there would be nothing there. She looked down; smiled and handed the locket to Willow.
Willow took the locket and looked into it. There, tied together with a tiny piece of string were two curls; one black as night the other a reddish brown with golden highlights.
"He’s a redhead too," Willow laughed.
Angel gave Buffy a ring." Willow exuberantly announced. "A claddagh."
"Angel gave you a claddagh ring?" Marissa questioned Buffy.
"Yes, well; before he changed. He said it stood for friendship, loyalty and devotion." Buffy said as she looked back at Angel lying on the bed.
"It stands for more than that, it is a true sign of his love." Marissa said "Did you know that the claddagh is the Irish Wedding Band?"
"Wow...double wow." Willow said "You mean he thinks of Buffy as his wife?"
"Yes, if he gave you a claddagh ring then in his mind you are married."
Buffy couldn’t think about that right now, she couldn’t handle anymore on her plate at the moment so she decided to change the subject. Later; she would think about what Marissa had told her, later when things were more calm.
"What are you going to do when he wakes up?" Buffy glanced at Spike. She knew that Marissa had cleared all traces of the stake from Spike’s chest. His chest was covered with a large white bandage, his wound would heal quickly. He had been unconscious for almost 23 hours, the sun was setting soon and he would wake up. What type of reaction they could expect was anybodies guess.
"I do not know, he will probably return to Druscilla." Marissa calmly said.
"And how does that make you feel?" Willow asked.
Buffy knew that Marissa was not ready to answer that question, so she intervened. "Ok, Dr. Joyce Brothers time for you to sleep, how long have the two of you been awake, what? About 48 hours. Why don’t you lay down and I’ll watch over these two sleepy heads. Ok"
"But what about you, your just as tired as we are?" Willow questioned Buffy.
"I had a full nights sleep, well a slayers full nights sleep right before all this happened, you two didn’t, close your eyes. I’ll keep watch." Buffy handled them both blankets from a stack that they had carried in with them."
She sat and watched the sleeping figures and tried to figure out what came next.
************************
Druscilla paced back and forth in her garden, none of the other vampires would come near here, she was in a rare mood. Usually Spike or Angelus were there to control her rages but no one had seen them for more than 24 hours. And none of them wanted to deal with her, not when she was like this.
She felt like she was going to explode; something was happening but she didn’t know what. She felt it running up and down her body. Like electricity. Suddenly she stopped and fell to her knees she mumbled a unknown language over and over again like a chant. Then she froze and threw her head back and let out a bloodcurdling scream. "NOOOOOOOOO!"
She fought her way back to reality slowly. Babbling the whole time..... "the light, she has brought the light back. NO, she has pulled them both into the light with her." She raised her eyes to the stars and screamed.... "ANGELUS!"
Chapter XI
Giles knocked on the door softly, Buffy opened the door a few seconds later.
"How is everything going?" he asked as he stepped into the apartment carrying paperbags with the local market’s name on them.
"Well, as you can see all the children are still napping." Buffy held her hands out towards the four sleeping people.
"Good; Willow and Marissa need the rest." Giles said.
"As you can see we bought the store out" Xander said as he set his bags down next to the two bags Giles had placed on the table.
"How’s Angel?" Giles asked her.
"His temperature is still high, but Marissa says that’s to be expected, after everything he’s been through" Buffy answered.
"We bought some aspirin for him...well actually it was Xander’s ideal." Giles reached into one of the bags and drew out a small bottle.
Buffy looked at Xander and smiled "You actually thought of it?"
Xander shrugged his shoulders "Well I certainly don’t want to deal with him if he wakes up with a headache. And if what we saw yesterday doesn’t give him a headache, nothing will."
"I’m amazed you would do something like that for him" Buffy smiled.
"Hey, I’d buy aspirin for anyone who went through that. I still can’t believe what happened. I mean did that really happen?" Xander asked.
"Yeah, it happened, I think we’re all still in shock over it, what I want to know is why didn’t Marissa tell us what she was going to do, why keep it a secret?" Buffy asked.
Giles looked at her and said "I don’t really think Marissa herself knew if the modifications were going to work, and if they hadn’t worked we would still have Angel with a soul. Would we have been so willing if we had known about her plan to return his mortality to him?"
Buffy nodded her head "Your right, I don’t know if I would have chanced it. Knowing that she was going to be dragging his demon out like that, I don’t know, I might not have let her put all of you in danger like that."
"I apologize for that" Marissa said from her chair.
All three heads turned to look at her at once.
"We’re sorry we didn’t mean to wake you" Giles said.
"It is fine, I am a light sleeper" Marissa stood and stretched.
Xander watched as her dress stretched acrossed her breast.
Buffy elbowed him.
"Hey, what was that for" Xander quipped.
"Cordi’s not here to do it, so I thought I would" Buffy laughed.
Marissa stepped around the chair and walked to the table, she started pulling items out of the bags. She drew a box out and just looked at it.
"I thought I said light, boy" Marissa turned to Xander.
"Those are mine, thank you very much" Xander snatched the box of Ho Ho’s out of her hands. "You know I’m really getting sick of hearing you say "boy" in that tone of voice all the time" He turned away and started unwrapping the cupcakes.
"Yes, Marissa your going to have to change your tone when speaking to Xander, look what he brought Angel" Buffy held up the aspirin.
Marissa took the aspirin and looked at Xander, "You bought these for Angel?"
"Hey I didn’t do it for dead boy, I did it for me, I just don’t want to hear him complain about all his aches and pains when he wakes up, that’s all, don’t go reading anything into this, ok." Xander took a bite of the cake.
She could hear the defensiveness in his voice, he didn’t want anyone to think he had actually thought about Angel’s welfare.
Marissa smiled, "He is not "dead boy" anymore...and thank you for getting the medicine...Xander."
Xander nodded his head towards her and kept on chewing. He didn’t even understand himself why he bought the medicine, and he didn’t want to analyze it either. So he decided to change the subject. "So what are we going to do with Spike?"
"When he wakes up we let him go" Marissa didn’t look up as she said this, she just kept unpacking the bags.
"No, see you don’t understand how this works, Buffy is the Slayer, the Slayer slays, she slays vampire’s, Spike is a vampire. Get it?" Xander said.
"Xander" Buffy warned.
"We should be fine, he’s handcuffed to the cot. I don’t think after being staked he will have the strength to break out of them, not yet at least" Giles said.
"You could always use those powers of yours to zap him" Xander said to Marissa.
"I do not "zap" people" Marissa said "the first rule of the Wiccan Arts is never harm. So unless he attacks one of us, we do not harm him, do you understand bo...Xander?"
"How long have you been studying the arts?" Giles said ignoring Xander completely. He usually ignored him, he found it the only effective way to cut the boy off.
Marissa started putting the food away with Buffy’s help. She decided to leave one of the soups in the red and white cans out, just incase Angel would waken soon. He would be ravenous, he hadn’t eaten anything for over 200 years. His body would need the nutrition.
"I have been studying under Brother Luca for over 5 years now. He was Janna’s instructor, he said I have a "natural talent" for it." Marissa said. "He himself was taught by one of the leading white wiccans in Europe. The only reason he did not perform the ritual is because of his age."
"Can you teach me," Buffy asked her, " it would be great if I could just hit’em with that light and still have time to do my homework."
Marissa turned to look at the teenager, "The Wiccan Arts are not something you learn over night, it usually takes a very long time to learn everything you need to know. But like I said, Brother Luca said I was exceptionally good at picking things up very quickly"
"I don’t think I have a long time left in me" Buffy said "so I guess that leaves me out."
Marissa smiled at her "Oh I think you have a lot of time left, your stronger than any Slayer in history, you might surprise yourself."
"What, do you have a crystal ball too?" Buffy joked with her.
"Maybe" she said.
"So what happens when Angel wakes up?" Giles questioned.
Buffy turned to look at Angel while the others discussed this, she was coming down from all the excitement and was starting to worry about the exact same thing, what was Angel going to be like when he woke? How would he react to being human after 200 plus years. She wasn’t sure if she could handle this. She admitted to herself what her biggest worries where, would he still love her. Or would being human change his feelings for her?
"I am not sure how he will react, this has never been accomplished before." Marissa said. "Every vampire that this has been tried on has...."
Marissa looked down at her hands.
"What?" Buffy asked. "What happened to them?"
Giles knew what was coming. He knew Buffy wasn’t going to be happy with the answer.
"They died" Marissa said. "They all died."
Buffy’s eyes looked like they were ready to pop out of her head, "What! You tried this on Angel knowing that he could have died?" She had forgotten the fear she had felt from this woman right after the spell was completeed.
"Did you want to go on fighting Angelus," Marissa looked into the girls eyes, " did you want Angel to watch day in and day out as Angelus destroyed you and all your friends, he would not have wanted that and you know it."
Buffy knew that the woman was right, but she couldn’t stop thinking that she could have lost him.
"You could have warned us?" Buffy cried.
"And have you back out because of the consequences, no I was going to do this with or without you, remember" Marissa told her.
Buffy looked back at Angel, they could barely hear her whisper "I could have lost him."
Marissa raised her hand and slowly ran it down Buffy’s hair "But you did not, he is here and he is alive."
"Is he going to be all right?" Buffy asked her as the tears started to well up in her eyes.
"He is going to need all of you," Marissa said "he will need your love and your friendship." She turned to include Giles and Xander in her statement.
"We will do everything possible" Giles said.
Xander just nodded and said "Whatever."
Marissa and Buffy looked at him and then at each other and laughed.
"You should go and wash your face, you do not want him seeing your tears when he wakes up" Marissa said. "And we will finish putting these groceries away."
Buffy nodded and headed to the bathroom.
"Did you speak with Brother Luca?" Marissa asked Giles.
"Yes, we had a very interesting conversation," Giles answered her. "I told him what has transpired here, he actually chuckled, he said he had no doubts that you could make it work."
"Then his belief was stronger than mine" she said. "I was not sure if it would work or not."
"Well, according to Brother Luca, you can part the seas" Giles chuckled.
"Did he want me to call him?" Marissa asked.
"Giles wouldn’t look at her face when he answered, "No he said nothing to me about you calling him." He had another message to pass on but not to Marissa.
"Are you finished eating your cupcakes, bo...Xander?" Marissa caught herself at the last moment.
"Yup, all done" Xander chewed and spoke at the same time. He laid the empty box on the table.
Marissa picked up the box and just stared at it. "It is empty, you ate every cupcake?"
"Hey I’m a growing boy" Xander said, "and I use the term boy loosely."
Marissa was hoping to sneak a pack of the cakes across the hall into the other apartment she had found. She had watched him eating the dessert, and was hoping to sample them herself. It had been quite awhile since she had indulged herself.
"But all at once?" she growled at him.
"Well it’s not as if I had to share them with you, your a vamp you don’t eat them." Xander sheepishly said.
"Well, ah...well maybe Willow or Buffy would have liked one." Marissa said.
Xander shrugged, "Well, they know how much I love them."
Marissa looked back into the remaining bags on the table, nothing; no sweets of any kind. Oh well, she wondered if she had time before William or Angel woke up to sneak down to one of the corner mini-markets that were everywhere in America. Just as she turned to look, she got a tinglie feeling up and down her spine. She realized that William was awake and was listening to them talk.
Chapter XII
"Are you going to lay there and pretend to be asleep or are you going to come and join the conversation?" Marissa said out loud.
Spike knew she was speaking to him, with the humans he could pretend to be asleep and they wouldn’t know any different. But Marissa would sense that he was awake, he had been wondering when she would call him on it.
"Well luv, since boy wonder ate all the fancy little cakes, who’s left for me to eat?" Spike spoke as he tried to sit up. He knew they had his right wrist handcuffed to the cot, but he wasn’t expecting the one on his left ankle. As he tried to throw his feet onto the floor, he lost his balance and the cot started to tip over, Giles and Marissa both moved to try and stop it. They didn’t make it.
Spike went sprawling onto the floor with the cot on top of him. It wasn’t a dignified position. He started yanking on the metal rods, "Get me out of this thing, I’m not going to try anything. I realize that there would be stakes all over the place if I did, so just let me out of these blasted things."
The bathroom door was thrown open and Buffy came out in full attack mode; a stake in her hand.
Spike noticed the stake and spoke quickly, "Now Slayer, are you going to stake me twice in one day for doing nothing." Buffy saw what was making all the noise and started laughing, Xander joined her.
The noise woke Willow up. She sat up and crawled over the top of the chair in one fluid movement.
Marissa pulled on one end of the cot and Giles grabbed the other, they flipped it over and set it down on the floor.
"You are always doing things that grab everyone’s attention" Marissa spoke as if she wasn’t effected by having William so near. And she thought she was doing a damn fine job of it too. "And you’ve been asleep for over 24 hours now, it wouldn’t be the same day."
"Well you know me, pet" Spike tried to sound as dignified as one can possible be while handcuffed to a bed and at the same time control the urge to snap the handcuffs and rip out the slayer and her little friends throats. "If there is a pretty woman in the room I can’t help but draw their attention."
"Yes, I do know you William" Marissa said quietly.
She reached out and removed the handcuff on his ankle, then threw the key to him, he could remove the other one himself.
As he straightened Marissa moved away. He could feel her tension no matter how far away she moved. It suddenly hit him that she wasn’t as unaffected as he had thought she was. She was nervous about being near him. That thought shook him to his knees, could she still care about him? After everything he had done to her, lying to her, abandoning her with Angel, all the promises he had made, broken like they meant nothing. Could she forgive him? Could he forgive himself?
He decided that now was not the time to ask. He removed the other hand-cuff and stood up. He looked down at his chest and started to removed the bandage. "Where are my shirt and coat?"
Giles moved to hand him the clothing, but at the same time not getting to close.
"Thank you." Spike threw the wrapping onto the cot and took the articles of clothing and started to pull his arms through the sleeves of his shirt. He had a million questions he wanted to ask, but didn’t know where to start. He wanted to talk to Marissa alone, but he knew that it was too soon, for her and for him. He looked over at Angel and chuckled to himself.
"So the blighter is human again?" he asked. "Where in the hell did you learn to do that?"
"I have learned a lot of things in the past few decades, things that would amaze even the great and powerful Spike" Marissa said.
Spike winced, she had never called him Spike, not even when he walked away from her. Maybe it would be best if he just got the hell out of here. He grabbed the coat and started to move towards the door. "Well I guess your not going to fill me in on those amazing things are you? So I think its time for me to go." He opened the door and turned back towards the slayer and her friends. "Well its been fun people, we’ll have to get together again real soon." He looked at Marissa, she was facing the other way.
The humans looked between the two vampires, waiting to see if either one of them would go on with the charade of acting as if nothing had happened. Neither spoke again.
Spike turned and headed out the door, closing it behind him.
Giles turned and said, "I’ll just make sure he has...um..left, I’ll be right back. He quickly opened the door and saw the outer door swing shut, he reached for it before Spike could close it the whole way.
"Spike, wait." Giles said.
Spike turned at the sound of the man’s voice. "What the hell do you want Watcher?"
Giles didn’t understand why he was doing this, but he had been asked to deliver a message, and he would deliver it. "I have a message for you."
"From Marissa?" He asked. His face actually lite up at the thought of her wanting to speak with him.
"Well no, actually its from her...." what the hell was Brother Luca to her Giles thought to himself. "...ah...from her teacher."
"Her teacher, who the hell is that?" Spike didn’t understand any of this, he just wanted to get the hell away from here.
"A man by the name of Brother Luca." Giles said.
"What does he want from me?" Spike asked.
"He wanted me to pass on a message, your to call this number" Giles handled the vampire a piece of paper.
Spike took the paper and glanced at the number that was written on it.
"He said if you cared about Marissa at all, you would call" Giles said.
"Whatever," Spike shoved the paper into his pocket and turned and walked away.
Giles wonder, not for the first time, why would Brother Luca want to talk to Spike? But he also knew he wouldn’t get any answers from the vampire. He went back inside with the others.
Xander was folding up the cot and shoving it up against the wall, out of the way for now, he’d have to return it to his house later tonight. "Well, we’ll have to thank Spike for the comic relief, next time we see him, which I hope is never."
"Yeah right, its Sunnydale, don’t worry we’ll see him again." Buffy said.
"That’s why I’m worried" Giles said, "he left too quietly for me." "Why didn’t he try to attack us, or more important why didn’t he stop us from doing the ritual?"
"Why would he not want Angelus gone," Marissa said. "With Angelus out of the way he has Druscilla all to himself again." And he could not wait to get back to her, Marissa thought to herself.
Willow watched the woman and wondered what was going through her mind, did she still love Spike, or did her love for him die over the last few decades? But she wouldn’t ask Marissa about that, it was too personal. She understood what it felt like to love someone who didn’t return that love.
"Well, whatever, I’m just glad he’s gone, now all we have to worry about is Angel." Xander said. "Is he gonna want to kill us when he’s awake, not something I am looking forward to."
All eyes turned to the sleeping form on the bed, he was tossing and turning again, Buffy moved to the bed and laid her hand on his cheek, it was still pretty hot to the touch. "When is the fever going to go down?" She raised her eyes to Marissa.
"It should go down soon, sooner if we get these aspirin into him" she picked up the bottle and removed the lid. She shook out 2 of the capsules and turned to get a glass of water.
Willow had already anticipated her wants and handed her the glass. "Thank you." Marissa said smiling at the redhead.
"Your welcome." Willow smiled back. "What is going to happen when Angel wakes up?"
"He is going to be very disorganized, very confused. It has been over 200 years since he was human." Marissa stated. "But, he is strong, with all our help he will get through it."
Chapter XIII
Spike entered the mansion, he knew something was wrong the minute he stepped through the front doors, none of his minions would look him in the eye. The all found things to do as soon as he entered. He looked around until he spotted one of this upper echelon, Spike tried to remember his name, Cyrus; that was it. "Cyrus what the hell is going on?"
Cyrus looked into his Master’s face, he didn’t want this job, didn’t ask for it and he sure as hell didn’t want to be the one who had to tell Spike that Druscilla had gone crazy and tore up the garden. And had killed three of the new fledglings that Spike had just cultivated. They hadn’t even finished their training yet. "Damn, boss I don’t want to be the one who has to tell you this but..."
"What?" Spike questioned harshly. He could see that nobody wanted to be the one to tell him, but he wasn’t up for this tonight. Druscilla! Whatever the hell happened it had to be Druscilla. Spike especially didn’t want to play any of Dru’s games now. At one time coming home and seeing all of his minions running scared like this would have given him some entertainment, but not now, he had to many damn things on his mind tonight.
"What the hell did Dru do now?" Spike said. "Come on, just spit it out.... NOW!
Cyrus jumped as Spike yelled. "Ah, well she freaked, went crazy, started yelling Angelus’s name. Shrieking, running all around tearing things up, you remember that nice set of patio chairs you had, the ones that matched the table, well their...ah...well...." He didn’t realized that with every word he spoke, he took a step back from the older vampire.
"Cyrus, if you think I give a rats ass about those chairs, think again, either tell me what the hell happened or I’m gonna rip out your heart and let you watch me eat it." Spike was quickly loosing the small amount of patience he had. "What exactly did she say about Angelus?"
"She said that he was gone, that you had let them take him. Is it true boss, is Angelus gone again?" The man was too scared to notice that now was not a good time to question Spike.
Spike turned and started walking toward the staircase. "Where is she, is she in her room?"
"No, she ah....well, she dug a hole in the garden and is out there laying in it right now." Cyrus said.
"What!" Spike stopped and stared at the other vampire. Shit, he didn’t need this crap, not now. He moved toward the double doors that lead into the garden. When he turned to question Cyrus again, the hall was empty. Not a single vampire in sight. "Big vicious vampires, yeah right." He turned back towards the doors and entered the garden. He saw the hole immediately, smack dab in the middle of the garden right in front of the water fountain. He walked over and looked down into the hole, he could barely see her, she had covered herself with loose dirt. "Druscilla what the hell are you doing down there?"
A hand separated itself from the shape in the hole. One sharped talon finger pointed directly at Spike. "You will die for what you have done tonight. Die. Just like the rest of them, my friend will kill you all." The finger withdrew back into the hole.
Spike watched her for a few minutes, then decided the hell with her, and the hell with all of these losers. He slowly turned and walked out of the mansion. He didn’t know where he was headed, but right now anywhere but here was fine with him.
***************
"Hold him down!" Marissa’s voice rose above all the yelling and screaming. She was leaning over the bed along with Giles and Buffy, "Xander grab his legs."
Xander joined the others trying to hold Angel down. "Why’s he doing this?"
"How would you react if you were dead for over 200 years and suddenly your internal organs were suddenly all operatable again." Marissa explained. "His body is going through severe changes and his brain does not know how to handle it."
Everything had been quiet in the apartment, Willow, Oz and Xander had been playing cards, Giles was trying to catch up on his journals. Cordelia had just started putting the second coat of polish on her nails. Buffy had fallen asleep on the floor beside Angel. Suddenly he had started to moan and thrash around. He had almost rolled on top of Buffy, luckily she had caught him in time and pushed his body back onto the bed. The three members of the Scooby Gang stood and watched as the other four tried to stop Angel from hurting himself. Then the screams had started, agonizing screams that made Willow cover her ears.
Suddenly the door was pushed open and Spike came rushing into the room, expecting to find the humans dead or on their way to hell. He expected to find Angelus ripping them apart. But what he found was the slayer and her friends trying to hold Angel down. He reached across all of them and put both hands on his shoulders and pressed Angel down onto the mattress.
Marissa took that moment to try and control the situation. "Willow rip those sheets apart, we need something to tie him down with."
Willow grabbed the sheets they had used on the cot and started ripping and between the seven of them they got him tied securely to the bed. His screams had diminished to moans. Finally he fell into a deep sleep again. Buffy reached up and laid her hand against his cheek. "His fever has broken, he’s sweating."
"What does that mean?" Xander asked.
Marissa smiled, "that means he is starting to heal. It should not be long now before he wakens."
And then we teach him how to live in the world of light again."
Eyeing Spike, Giles asked suspiciously "What are you doing back here?"
"I wanted to let you know that Drucilla knows what you’ve done here." Spike said.
"You couldn’t wait to run and tell her could you?" Buffy accused.
Spike stared at her "I didn’t have to tell her, she knows before things happens.
"And you came to warn us?" Xander sneered. "How nice. And why would you want to warn us, its not exactly something you would do normally. I’m surprised your not with her planning something."
Spike didn’t answer, he had no answer, why did he come back here? He didn’t even have a answer for himself, how could he answer the humans.
He turned to the dark haired boy and sneered, "I came to warn Rissa, not you, I could care less what happens to you."
"Thank you," Marissa said. She turned and started picking up the blankets that had been knocked to the floor. "You have warned me, is there anything else?"
She never even looked at him. Spike turned and walked out the door. As soon as the door was shut he slammed his fist into the wall. <Why the hell did I come back here?> He shoved his throbbing hands into his coat pockets and leaned against the wall. He felt the paper crinkling against his skin. He pulled the paper out into the light and saw the telephone number written on it. He turned and strode out the door.
Chapter XIV
Spike listened to the phone ring for the third time, he quickly hung the phone up again. <Why the hell would this guy want to talk to me> he thought. He turned and walked away from the phone booth, this was crazy, what the hell was happening to him.
He dropped to the curb and hung his head in his hands. He knew what was wrong with him, Marissa. He never thought he’d see her again. This was all too much for him to handle, he didn’t want to think about it, didn’t know how to handle it. She was part of his past, part of the world he had left behind him. He could remember the last time he saw her, standing there staring at him.....
"But why here?" Marissa questioned him. "Why with him?" She nodded her head toward the doorway, Spike could barely make out the shape of Angel.
Spike turned back toward’s Marissa, he gently ran his hand down her face. "It’s only for a little while baby. I’ll be back before you know it. Angel is different now, he won’t hurt you, trust me."
Marissa rubbed her cheek against his hand, a single blood red tear was running down her face, "I do, I will always trust you, William you know that."
Spike looked away from her, he couldn’t stand looking in her eyes and asking her to trust him, knowing that he wasn’t planning on coming back. "I’ll be back in a week, maybe a little longer, ok" he turned and walked away from her, he didn’t look back, he couldn’t. If he did, he would never do it, never leave her here, leave her here waiting for him to return to her. He had lied, he wasn’t planning on coming back, but he couldn’t tell her that. He stepped through the door and saw Angel standing on the other side of the threshold.
"So, your dumping her here with no explanation?" Angel asked.
Spike took a cigarette out of his shirt pocket and lit it. He puffed once, then twice, drawing the smoke into his lungs, lungs that wouldn’t take in the tar and nicotine that usually invaded a humans lungs. "Just promise me you will take care of her, do you hear me?" Spike blew the smoke out in one long breath.
Angel looked him square in the eyes and said "Do you think that this is fair to her?"
"Yes!" Spike exclaimed. "It’s the fairest thing I could do for her, and you know it. How much longer do you think she would last in my world, Drucilla is getting out of control. What would happen if just one time I wasn’t there to protect her? Dru would hurt her without even blinking. Hell yes this is fair, its the best thing for her."
"For her or for you?" Angel spoke quietly, he didn’t want the young girl in the other room to hear their conversation.
"She’ll be safer here with you, you can protect her better than I can. I can’t keep fighting the others over her, how long do you think I would last, how long do you think she could?" Spike heatedly said.
"So your just thinking about yourself....again." Angel said.
"Yeah, Spike thinks about Spike first and foremost!" Spike threw the words at Angel.
Angel pushed the door shut and turned to the younger vampire, "And what do I tell her in a week, or a month when you don’t return. Hell, you know your her world, she has no one else. How can you do this to her. I thought you cared about her?"
Spike threw the cigarette to the floor and stamped it out with his boot heel, "yeah, well you were wrong, I want her gone, do you hear me. I care about me, that’s it. Oh come on Angelus, this can’t be a surprise to you, you trained me, you of all people should know the real me."
"I thought I did," Angel said. But I guess I was wrong." He watched the other vampire turn and stared at the closed door.
Hell, all he had to do was make it to the door and it would be over. Spike turned towards the outer door and grabbed the handle with both hands and yanked the sliding doors back, "just remember one thing Angelus".
Angel hated when he called him that, but he didn’t say anything, he watched as Spike turned towards him again.
"She didn’t deserve any of this, she was innocent, YOU owe her" Spike spit the words out at him, almost as if they were a curse, "You owe her, you’ll protect her won’t you, with your life?"
Angel looked closer at the bleached blonde, he was surprised by the desperate look in Spikes eyes.
"Promise me, you will protect her, keep her safe, you ow......
"I promise." Angel interrupted him. Maybe Spike did care about her, maybe he did actually want to do "right" by her. Maybe in his own way this was his way of protecting her. He watched Spike turn and walk out the door, into the night, he never looked back, not once.
"He is not coming back, is he?" A small voice spoke from the doorway.
Angel hung his head for a moment and then turned and looked at the girl, the girl who’s life he had destroyed, not Spike but him. "No, he’s not coming back." He watched her face for a moment, he could see the confusion running through her, he could see that she didn’t understand what was happening.
"Why?" Marissa asked. "Why did he leave me here, and why with you? I ask him that, but he would not answer me."
"I don’t know" Angel said. He didn’t have the answers, not the ones the girl wanted. She didn’t trust him, but hell, how could she trust him. He was the one who dragged her into this nightmare, what was it, 100, 125 years ago he had taken her life. Taken it in one of the stupid games he played with peoples lives. But at the same time he was surprised, in all the years that had gone by and she still had not lost the quality of innocence that surrounded her. When he had first "taken" her he had been surprised by her ability to retain her "human" qualities. But he knew that would end soon enough, but it never had, her demon had never "materialized" like the rest of the vampires he had known throughout his existence. He opened his mouth again; to try and give her some kind of answer but nothing came out of it. He just stood there looking at her, he didn’t have a clue as to what to do or say. She spoke before he could think of anything, and the words shocked the hell out of him.
"Are you going to kill me?" She spoke quietly, he could barely hear her.
"W...what?" He stuttered.
"I know you hate me, I know that you have wanted to kill me for a very long time now." Marissa spoke calmly, there was no fear in her voice, no hesitation in her speech.
"No, Angelus wanted to kill you, but Angelus doesn’t have control anymore. I don’t want to hurt you, I...I want to apologize to you." Angel stated.
"For what?" Marissa didn’t understand this Angelus, she was expecting threats and goading, not a apology. She didn’t know how to handle it.
"For this" Angel spread his hands out to encompass the warehouse they were standing in. "The world you now live in, if it wasn’t for me you would be living out there, living in the human world, out in the sun, having a family, friends...a life. Not hiding out in empty warehouses, not living in either world, the world of light or the world of darkness. That is what I apologize for."
"Technically, I would be dead right now, long dead, just dust in a hole in the ground, if you had not....if you had not....." she didn’t quite know what word to use to describe what he had done to her.
"Murdered you?" Angel stated boldly. "Is that what you were trying to say?"
"Yes. I guess either way you look at it, I am a dead person." Marissa said just as boldly.
"Yes, but I can teach you how to survive in this world, if you would let me?" Angel said.
"Survive, is that what you do?" Marissa asked.
"I guess that is what you would call it, I’m not a member of the human world or the dark world of the vampires either, I exist in a world of my own making. I wouldn’t exactly call it a life, but its better than what you have been living in" Angel stated. "You don’t have to kill to survive in my world."
"I have never killed another to survive" Marissa chin came up. "I have learned to drink without taking the life of the poor souls I feed off of."
"Well then we should get along fine, neither do I," Angel smiled for the first time since Marissa had gotten there. She thought that he didn’t look so menacing when he smiled.
"Then your not going to kill me?" Marissa questioned again.
"Do you want me to?" Angel smiled again.
"No, I do not want to die." Marissa stated. She looked down at the floor as the truth hit her again, William was not coming back, he had abandoned her here, alone with Angelus, but yet it wasn’t Angelus, she was still confused but she wasn’t as terrified as she had been earlier. For some strange reason she believed him, and more, she even trusted him. She didn’t understand, but at this point she was too tired to care.
Angel could see the exhaustion on her face, "Your tired, why don’t you rest and then we’ll continue our talk?" Angel said. He turned to lead her through the single door, "there are some small rooms in the back, there’s a bed for you to rest in."
Rest, yes she needed to rest, even though he had never answered her question on why William had left her, she would rest, collect her thoughts and emotions and then she would think about it, think about how she was all alone now, think about how easy William had left her with a lie on his lips.
***********************
Spike stood up and headed to the phone booth one last time, he still didn’t understand why he was doing this, but lately he didn’t understand a lot of things. He dialed the phone and heard the ringing again, after 2 or 3 rings the phone was answered and he heard the operator ask if the other party would except a collect call from "Spike".
"Oh my, yes, I will except operator, thank you." A male voice on the other end said.
"Spike, is that you, or should I call you William?" The voice questioned.
Spike shook his head, wondering for a second if he should just hang up the phone, what the fuck was he thinking.
"Spike..er...William are you there?" The voice ask again.
"Yes, I’m here, call me whatever you like, what the hell do you want?" Spike bit out the words.
"I am Brother Luca, I guess you have seen Marissa?" Brother Luca questioned.
"Yes, I’ve seen her, what the hell has this to do with me?" Spike said testily.
"Why it has everything to do with you my boy." Brother Luca answered. Spike could hear the humor in the man’s voice.
"What the hell do you want?" Spike was getting impatient, he felt excited and nervous all at the same time and he had no clue why.
"You lost something very precious once.....do you want it back?" Brother Luca asked him.
He didn’t even think to act like he didn’t know what he was talking about. "Its not mine to get back."
"It could be, if you really want it." The priest said.
"But it no longer belongs to me to even want back, I’m not going to play any games here, we both know what you are talking about, I’ve seen Marissa, she wants nothing to do with me." Spike said.
"What you see and what is truth could be two different things my boy." Brother Luca riddled.
"I’m not playing any stupid games, I’m not in the mood, ok, and I’m not your boy." Spike said into the phone, he turned in the phone booth and the thought ran through his mind again, what he hell was he doing.
"Ok, fair enough," Brother Luca continued, "you lost Marissa once because you wanted her happy, but she is not happy, there is only one thing in this world I believe that would make her happy."
Spike laughed into the telephone, "If your about to say me, your dead wrong, she could never be happy with me, your forgetting one little thing, I’m a vampire, I kill people to survive, I’m not the boy next door, I’m not Angelus with a soul, nope, no soul insight for me pops."
"Marissa has no soul, she doesn’t kill to survive, be honest, what is more important in your life, the kill or Marissa?" Brother Luca asked.
"She isn’t a part of my life, that part was over a long time ago, it’s in the past, a past that I haven’t even thought about in a long time." Spike answered.
"I ask you to be honest," Brother Luca paused for a moment, "I’m very good at reading people, I’ve studied you for a very long time, isn’t it true that while you were with Marissa you rarely killed, you rarely hunted with the packs? It wasn’t until your time with the Black Wi...er...Druscilla that you took to the streets again, was it? When you were with Marissa you could control your feeding, have you ever ask yourself why?"
Spike didn’t want to answer, he hadn’t wanted to think about it then and he sure as hell didn’t want to discuss his life with this stranger. He didn’t say anything.
"Ok, I’m putting you on the spot, your probably thinking what do I owe this old man, well I’ll tell you, I believe that somewhere deep down inside of yourself there is a part of you that is more human than you care to admit, and that part belongs to Marissa, it always has, and it always will," the priest took a breath and began again, "I won’t lie to you, I could care less about you. But I love Marissa like she was my daughter, I’ve seen her through the pain, I’ve seen her at her lowest, and I never want to see her like that again. It seems you, and you alone can make her happy, and she deserves to be happy. That is all I ask. She is in danger, very evil danger, if you care at all about her you will help her."
Spike perked up at the mention of danger, "what danger?" he asked.
"I can’t tell you, Marissa would be angry with me, but I did want to warn you, watch over her, protect her, she will need it." There was a click at the other end of the line. Spike realized that the priest had hung up. He returned the phone to the box and stepped out of the phone booth.
"What the hell is going on?" he asked himself out loud.
What danger was Marissa in? He had failed her once, was he going to repeat history again. He walked off into the darkness, he had a lot to think about.