DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from Buffy
the Vampire Slayer, Joss Whedon and the WB own all rights. And get to reap all the
benefits, lucky stiffs.
The Gift
part 4
by bec
Chapter XV
Three Months Later:
The ball bounced rhythmically on the pavement, once, twice, three times. The ball was slowly raised into the air and was released, it flew through the air, coming down gently into the net with a gentle swish.
"Yes, and he scores again!" Xander screamed and raised his arms into the air. He turned and did a little happy dance.
Angel shook his head and wondered why he did this to himself, he turned and looked at Oz, "Why?" he voiced his thoughts.
"Don’t ask me, I think it’s because it’s the only game he can beat us at." The multi-colored haired boy answered.
"Xander are you here to play or to dance?" Angel asked him.
Xander was still humming to himself and waving his arms in a less then dignified hula dance. "What, your just jealous cause I whipped your butts, I’ve finally found something that deadboy can’t do as well as I can."
"Yeah, we’re jealous, I mean beating you at everything else you’ve had us doing for the last month doesn’t mean a thing to us." Oz grinned.
"And "deadboy" beating you at poker didn’t count for a thing." Angel said. "And quit calling me that, I’m not dead anymore, remember?"
Xander grinned and said "Your gonna have to be breathing a lot more than three months for me to stop calling you that. And it’s funnier than "liveboy," just doesn’t have the same ring to it."
Angel wiped the sweat off his forehead and took a deep breath of air, he grinned, damn that felt good, breathing was not something a vampire thought about too often. But Angel thanked his friends every day for this luxury, he never believed it possible, but he was alive, alive and happy.
"See even he thinks its funny" Xander said to Oz.
Oz just did a little shift of his shoulders as if to say <what? I didn’t say anything>.
"Well, are you boys up for another game of PIG," Xander asked. He reached down and grabbed the ball again.
"We have to meet everyone at the library remember." Angel answered. "Guess your just gonna have to wait until next time." If there is a next time, Angel thought to himself. If he had his way he wouldn’t be playing this game again, well at least not until he regained his full strength. In three months he had made great strides in getting his health and agility back, but he still was not up to his full strength. But he felt good, hell he felt better than good, he felt great. Not only was he alive again, he still retained some of his vampiric strengths, he wasn’t quite as strong as Buffy but he was stronger than normal human beings, he just tired quickly, but soon he would be at full strength and he could start helping Buffy on her patrols. He was getting nervous at all this sitting around, if one more person told him to rest he was going to scream. He wanted to help, anyway he could.
Angel grabbed the gym bag that he and Xander had bought yesterday and started walking toward Oz’s van. He smiled as he remembered the shopping expedition, if someone had asked him a few months ago if he would ever be friends with Xander he would have said no, but it’s funny how things work out, it took awhile, but Xander had finally reached a point where he had forgiven Angel for the things that Angelus had done. Hell, it had taken Angel just as long, he hadn’t wanted to live with the memories of what he had done to Buffy and her friends during those months when he had lost his soul.
When he had first awoke he hadn’t even noticed the changes in himself. He knew something had happened, the pain had told him that. Buffy and Marissa had explained to him what had happened, he had used the excuse of the pain not to talk to them. He hid his feelings and emotions, they were too much, he couldn’t handle any long winded conversations at that time. When the pain had changed to a nagging ache and he hadn’t even realized it was hunger, the truth had hit him, hard. All the new experiences he was feeling were just another excuse to hide, as they explained what he was feeling he couldn’t comprehend all the changes, he was mystified, then horrified. He didn’t know what to do. With all the memories coming back bit by bit he didn’t have time to think about eating and having to use a toilet for the first time in his life. Those things were just another excuse to hide from actually talking about anything. Marissa and Buffy had taken turns sitting with him, he knew the others were still afraid of him. And that caused more pain. He had taken to not looking them in the face, he never spoke to anyone, he didn’t know what to say, there were no words, so he just stayed quiet. And there were moments of humiliation, the first time he had wet himself he just wanted to curl up and die. And of course Xander was not one to let moments like that pass, oh no, he had to keep making diaper jokes. But once he realized no one was laughing he stopped, it surprised Angel even more that it was Spike who was the one to stop him, he didn’t actually say anything, he just looked at Xander a certain way whenever he would start to sputter about depends and bladder control. Those looks stopped the remarks.
Seeing Spike there in the apartment with Buffy and her friends was almost as shocking as finding out he was alive again. He couldn’t understand why he was there, but then he remembered how much Spike loved Marissa. Spike was there for Marissa, not for Angel or any of the others. After awhile he realized that Spike was intrigued by what was happening to Angel. He would ask questions that always started out with "how does that feel, what does this taste like," things like that. He tried to act cool about it, but Angel knew he was curious what it felt like to be human again. But there was no way he was gonna tell anyone that, especially not Spike, he was too good at hiding his emotions and feelings behind his sarcastic humor. Between him and Xander’s little quips at each other Angel wanted to strangle them after just three days.
At first he had tried to cut them out of his life, push them away when they tried to help him. He couldn’t face them, couldn’t stand to look into their face’s every day during his recuperation, knowing that they hated him. It was torture for both sides, he could see the pain but he was too weak to do or say anything to them. At first he hadn’t even noticed the changes in himself. He had the added humiliation of them taking care of him. With Marissa it wasn’t so bad, hell, even Spike was better than the others. It had totally surprised him to wake up and find out that Spike was helping Buffy and the others. But once he figured out that the reason was Marissa it fell into place. But his friends had finally convinced him that was a chapter of his life that had to be closed. What was really strange is, that they wouldn’t let him push them away. It took awhile but even with their anger at Angelus they made sure Angel knew that they were there for him. Willow was easy, she had a huge heart, Cordelia just didn’t want to leave Xander alone with Buffy so she came every night and helped the gang with him. Oz was there for Willow. Giles was the one that surprised Angel, after what he had done to Jenny Angel hadn’t expected Giles to have anything to do with him. But as the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months. Angel finally realized that none of them were going anywhere. In the end it was Xander himself who finally made Angel realize that he could sit in his apartment and stagnate or he could get his "ass" in gear and help them. Xander had just come out and told him, "Fine sit here, rot for all I care, great way of repaying us for saving your sorry old ass, and while your sitting here molding away, just picture Buffy with all those eligible guys out there panting after her." And he had slammed out the door, letting Angel sitting there with his mouth hanging open, but as the minutes passed Angel had come to realize that it’s very rare to get a second chance or in his case a third. And from that day on he had started to live again. And he enjoyed every second of it.
The first thing he did was apologize to Buffy, he owed her the most, the things that he had done were done to torment her the worst. And he hadn’t exactly been polite to her when he recovered. He had tried to act like she wasn’t there, thinking that is what she would want. He hadn’t realized that by doing that he had hurt her even more. He thought back to the day that they had found themselves alone in the apartment, everyone else having either gone home to rest or was out researching something. For the first time they were alone to talk things out. Angel was scared, scared of what she would say to him.
"Buffy, I ah, I would like to apologize to you." Angel had started out. He was lying in his bed, they very rarely left him get out of it, just a few times to use the bathroom and walk around the room a bit, then right back to bed.
At first she hadn’t said anything, then she had told him, "You don’t have to apologize to me Angel, it wasn’t you, it was Angelus, I realize that."
"But Angelus and I were one, so its only right that I apologize for everything I did then." Angel had quietly stated.
"Ok, I can understand why you don’t want to be around me, I remind you of . . . all . . . well all the things he did." Buffy had said.
"No," Angel said, "it’s not that, I haven’t bothered you because I realize that your feelings for me have probably changed."
"Changed?" Buffy just looked at him. "Changed how?"
Angel turned away from her, he didn’t think he could take the pain of finally loosing her. "I realize you don’t love me anymore."
"Don’t love you, Angel how did you figure this out?" Buffy smiled.
Unfortunately Angel never turned around to see her smile. "I can understand that after everything that has happened you don’t feel the same way about me, you must hate me for what I did to you and your friends?"
"Hate you? Ok, I’m gonna stop repeating everything here." Buffy smiled again. She wanted him to turn around so she could see his face.
But he still kept his face turned away from her. He didn’t know if he could do this. This was too damn hard, harder than he had thought it was going to be. For a moment he wondered if this had been a good idea after all. Suddenly he felt the bed dip to his right and he turned to face Buffy sitting on the side of the bed. She reached up and took his face into her hands.
"I love you, do you hear me?" Buffy asked quietly. "Marissa has made me, well we really, all of us, realize that Angelus was responsible for everything that has happened these last few months. I might not have been able to realize that if I hadn’t seen that thing . . . that creature she pulled out of you. If I hadn’t seen the demon fighting and clawing to stay in you, I might not have come to understand what it really meant all those times you told me how hard it was for you to maintain control over it. But I did, we all did. That was the demon, that’s who was responsible for all the hideous things that have happened. But he’s gone now, he was destroyed that night in the library. I saw it happen. I saw it die. It’s gone. It can’t hurt us ever again. It can’t hurt you anymore."
Angel stared at her, stared at the tears trailing down her face. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, he couldn’t believe that she still loved him. He reached up and covered her hands with his, cupping her hands around his cheeks. He never realized that tears flowed from his eyes too. He smiled and said simply, "I love you too, I love you with my whole being."
Angel smiled as walked to the van and thought about those words. As long as he had Buffy’s love, everything was going to be ok. Xander’s voice intruded on his thoughts.
"Do you think the other deadboy is going to be there again?" Xander asked.
"Who, Spike?" Angel answered.
Xander bounced the ball, "Yeah, once the sun goes down we can’t turn around without bumping into him."
"He’s trying to help, I think." Oz said fishing the keys out of his sports bag.
"Hah! He’s just waiting for his chance with Marissa, does he really think he has a chance with her?" Xander snapped. "She has better taste than that."
"They were very deeply in love once, both alive and dead." Angel quietly said. He knew why Spike was hanging around, but he knew he could never make the others believe that Spike had loved Marissa once. That at one time Spike was Marissa’s only lifeline. He was still amazed that Marissa was still the same woman he had known all those years ago, the shyness was gone, though the innocence remained. She had a new found strength, he wondered not for the first time, where that strength had come from. What had happened to her to give her the independence that she had acquired?
"Well I guess we’ll find out when we get to the library, it will be dark by then." Oz said as he started the van. "He’s been helping us a lot here lately, giving us important information, I wouldn’t discount him yet Xander."
"I never counted him in the first place. I don’t trust him. He could be helping Druscilla and her pals behind our backs." Xander said.
"No," Angel said, "he hasn’t seen Druscilla since the night of the restoration ceremony. He’s been keeping his eyes and ears open, he wouldn’t let anything happen to Marissa."
"Why not, he’s tried to kill us one to many times to count, why stop now?" Xander asked.
"Because he cares about Marissa," Angel wiped his face again and looked out the window, sometimes talking to Xander was so frustrating, "he protected her from Dru and me, back when I first turned her, no matter what we did or said, he was there for her."
"So what happened, why was he with Druscilla when he came to Sunnydale?" Xander asked. If nothing else Xander was a nonstop stream of questions.
Angel looked at Xander and said, "In my opinion he thought he was protecting her, he brought her to me, tried to keep her hidden from the rest of them. He was doing the only thing that he could think of. He knew I wouldn’t hurt her, he knew I would protect her with my life. I owed her."
"Well hell yeah you owe her, you sucked the life out of her, if that’s not owing someone I don’t know what is?" Xander snapped.
Angel winced at the tone in Xander’s voice, he, more than anyone knew what he owed Marissa, not only for then, but for now too, for giving him life. He did owe her his life now, and anger at Xander for not thinking he realized that came out.
"Damn it, and you think I don’t realize that, well I do, I owe her more than I’ve ever owed anyone before, and I would give up my life for her, for any of you guys’. I’ll never be able to repay you for everything you have done. Believe me I have tried to think of someway, somehow but . . . hell, I’ve racked my brain’s trying to come up with a way, but I’ve . . . " Angel’s words trailed off, the looks he was getting from the other two occupants of the van took the steam right out of him. They were smiling, and that baffled him. "What the hell are you smiling at?"
"You," Xander said. "I was wondering when you were gonna blow up at us, when you were going to have a normal human reaction to something, I’m glad I was the one you exploded on, the girls would have been upset by it.
"What are you talking about?" Angel asked.
"Well man, you have been walking around strung tighter than a guitar string for the last couple of months." Oz smiled. "Xander and I were just wondering when you were gonna pop."
"It feels good to get mad and not have to kill something, doesn’t it?" Xander said.
Angel smiled, it did feel good to get mad and not have to worry about the demon taking control. He had been keeping himself under control, too much control, he started to laugh, and the two boys in the front of the van joined him. They continued laughing as they drove off toward the library.
****************************
It was quiet in the library as Spike let himself in through the stacks, he figured he was the first one here. He spied the watcher as he rounded the corner and came down the stairs, Giles was carrying a stack of books out of his office.
"The others aren’t here yet?" he questioned Giles.
Giles looked up and said, "No, not yet, but they should be here any minute now. I . . . ah . . . I heard from Brother Luca this morning, he wanted to know if you were still helping us."
"And what did you tell him?" Spike asked. He hadn’t spoken to the priest again, he had started to call him twice since that one conversation they had had. But something held him back, talking to the priest was like being in a confessional, he had a way of getting things out of Spike that Spike didn’t want to talk about, he wasn’t ready to admit to himself what his actual feelings for Marissa were yet. He looked toward the watcher to see what he would say.
Giles looked at the books he held in his hands, "I told him you were helping us daily, that you were still here and you seemed to be working for our side." Giles said.
"Seemed?" Spike chuckled, "And what did he have to say about that?"
"He laughed, he said that you really didn’t have a choice, I have no ideal what he meant by that." Giles finished stacking the books onto the table, he turned and looked at the vampire. "Why don’t you have a choice?"
Spike turned and looked around the library, "Has Marissa said anything to you about her and me?" If the news wasn’t good, he didn’t want to have to look into the man’s face.
"About you and her, no," Giles continued stacking books, "but I gathered from certain actions that you have a.. what shall we call it, a past together?"
"A past? Yeah you could call it that," Spike rubbed his eyes, it was harder to talk about it then he had thought it would be. "Marissa was my first love, my human love. We knew each other long before vampires and demons ever existed in our world. When I became a vampire, I thought that she was out of my life forever, but unfortunately Angelus had other ideals. He used Marissa to torture me, he turned her into what she is today, one of us, but not. I’ve never heard of another like Rissa, she’s a vampire, but I had never seen any evidence of the demon she has become. As far as I know she has never killed to survive, never taken another life to feed. When Angelus brought her to us, a part of me was thrilled, my demon part, but another part of me was horrified, terrified that she had to live like I lived. I kept Rissa with me, fed her, protected her," Spike closed his eyes, "loved her."
This last part made Giles stop what he was doing, he turned again and looked at Spike, he knew that Spike cared about Druscilla, but to think that he had turned from Marissa to Druscilla just didn’t make sense to him. But then again, he thought to himself, Spike is a vampire, no matter that he had been helping them for three months, no matter that as far as they knew he hadn’t taken a human life in that time, there was a demon inside of the man standing in front of him, a demon that was in control of that man.
"What happened?" Giles asked.
"I couldn’t protect her anymore, it was getting too dangerous for her to be around Dru, Dru was relentless in her hatred of Rissa." Spike walked over to the table and sat down, his hands had started to shake, he hadn’t wanted to start this conversation, hadn’t wanted to lay his "soul" out to this man, but now that he had started talking, he couldn’t stop. "She had lost Angel by that time and she made it perfectly clear that as my Sire she expected me to take Angel’s place in her life and in her bed. She didn’t care for the power that Rissa had over me. She would have eventually killed her. So I put out the word that I wanted to find Angelus, wanted to take him out, but in truth I wanted his help, he was the only one that could help us; the only one who could protect Rissa from Drucilla. So I took Rissa to Angel and left her there, no explanations, no nothing. I lied to her and I left, and never saw her again. Not until three months ago, right here in old SunnyHell."
Spike reached into his pocket and took out a pack of cigarettes and started to shake one out of the pack, but the other man shook his head with a definite no. He put the cigarette back and started tapping his fingers on the table.
"So you chose Drucilla over Ma . . . " Giles voiced dwindled off, he realized what he was about to say, the other man might take it as an insult. "So you began a relationship with Druscilla?"
"It either was that or go into hiding with Rissa, and that would have only driven Druscilla to search us out, and let me tell you mate, I never wanted to take the chance of her ever getting close to Rissa again." Spike said. "Dru has a lot of people fooled, her insanity isn’t a hindrance to her, it actually makes her stronger in some areas, and a hell of a lot crueler in others. Don’t let her ever get the upper hand on you, or your one bloody deadman to be sure."
"So, your helping us because of Marissa?" Giles asked him.
"I’m helping because Brother Luca said that Ris is in some kind of trouble, some sort of danger" Spike answered truthfully, "do you have any ideal what he’s talking about?"
"No, she hasn’t said one word to me or anyone else as far as I know about any danger." Giles said.
"Keep your ear’s open all right?" Spike asked him, "This new Rissa is more independent, more close mouthed about things. She might not want us to know, or else the priest could just be using it as an excuse to keep me close to her."
"I’ll check some things out," Giles said, "if trouble is following Marissa, we should be able to find out something about it, Sunnydale is not the place for "quiet danger," if there is something out there, we will find out about it."
"Find out about what?" Buffy asked. Willow and Cordelia followed her into the library.
"Oh, he’s here again, you owe me ten bucks." Cordelia said as she put her hand out to Willow.
Willow pulled a bill out of her fuzzy purple purse and handed it to the brunette. "Well, he might not have been here, I was just saying that he’s not "always" here."
Spike winked at the small girl, "I’m here to stay little one, get used to me." He liked making her blush, she reminded him so much of the human Marissa, that he couldn’t help teasing her.
"And I repeat, find out about what, Giles?" Buffy said again. She turned and waited for him to answer.
"Spike has informed me that there might be a possible chance of danger directed toward Marissa." Giles said.
Buffy put her hands on her hips, "What kind of danger, I’ve seen this woman in action, it would take a very big hunk of danger to over take her."
"Well maybe this danger hasn’t seen her in action." Spike said.
"We don’t know anything more than that. Brother Luca didn’t go into details." Giles answered. "I’ll have Willow check into it, see if there is anything on that web thingie that might help us."
"Web thingie. Giles’ I would think your getting used to this web thingie by now." Willow smiled as she sat down at the computer station. "This web thingie has helped us out countless times, even you have to admit that."
"My books have come in handy once or twice I should say." Giles sputtered indignantly.
"And here I thought we were out of the danger business for a while," Cordelia said, "I mean, look at it, Angel is human now, Spike is . . . well sorta on our side, Druscilla looks to be on a long vacation, what else is there?"
"When one one lives over a Hellmouth, one must be prepared for anything." Giles said.
"So does this mean our celebration party is off for tonight?" Cordelia asked, she was already wearing a pout on her face.
"No, it doesn’t," Xander said as the men entered the library. "Hellmouth or no Hellmouth, tonight we party. He leaned over Cordelia and gave her a quick kiss. She pushed him away.
"What did I tell you about those PDA’s?" She said, "You’ll mess up my lipstick."
Xander was used to her little acts by now. He ignored her. "We are going to have Angel’s three month’s of life anniversary party tonight if it kills us."
Oz raised his hand to his mouth and did a quick Harpo Marx imitation "and in this town it just might."
Angel crossed to Buffy and wrapped his arms around her shoulders leaning into to her, the gang was getting used to seeing them together, there were no sharp looks or uneasy glances like there were in the beginning.
"Cordelia did you buy that thing we discussed," Willow asked "you know that thing?"
"What thing?" she said then her eyes lit up, "Oh you mean that dre . . . oh," Willow’s eyes slashed to Spike and she made a chopping movement with her hand.
"Yes I got it," Cordi said, "and somebody owes me some cash, I won’t mention any names, Buffy and Willow! So we meet at the Bronze at eight o’clock tonight is that all right with everyone?"
Everyone agreed, except Spike he knew they didn’t want him there so he just kept his mouth shut, oh, he was planning on going, but they didn’t need to know that.
"All right, shall we get down to business, Marissa should be here any second now." Giles said, he turned to Buffy "How did your patrol go last night?"
Everyone took a seat at the table, the seat beside Spike went unused, even though he had been helping them for a while now no one was willing yet to sit beside him.
"Slow, very slow, I only took out one vamp, and a young one at that, still had dirt in his hair." Buffy smiled.
The library doors swished open, "Sorry I am late." Marissa walked to the table and saw that the only chair left was beside Spike, she turned and grabbed one of the chairs sitting beside the staircase and wedge it in between Oz and Xander."
Xander looked at Spike and grinned, the vampire looked right back at him, letting him know that he did not find it funny in the least. Xander knew he was playing with fire, but he also knew that Spike wouldn’t try anything while Marissa was in the room.
"You haven’t missed anything of real importance yet." Giles said to Marissa, as he continued with the meeting.
Chapter XVI
The Bronze was busiest on Friday nights, they did their best business then. So it was very crowded when the Scooby Gang entered the club.
They grabbed one of the lounge areas’ in a side room off of the dance floor.
"Cordelia, I do not think you chose the right size for me, this dress does not fit me right." Marissa said as she pulled the hem of the small, very small black dress down over her thighs. "And I do not know which is worse the bottom or the top" she reached up and tried to pull the bodice up over her cleavage, she wasn’t used to showing so much of herself, and it made her uncomfortable. She still couldn’t believe she had let the three girl’s talk her into wearing this thing. It was almost indecent.
"Stop pulling on that material, do you know what Spandex does when you yank on it like that, it’ll lose its shape, now stop it," Cordelia said as she made a swipe at Marissa’s hands. "You look great, almost as good as me, not quite, but still good. Just sit back and enjoy yourself."
She wondered again what she was doing here, these sort of things were meant for teenager’s, not for people like her, she blew useless air out through her ruby lips, they had applied make-up and done her hair, for what she thought, who was she trying to impress here. And these shoes, how the hell did these girl’s walk in these 4 inch heels, her calves hurt just looking at them. She’d probably fall off of them before the night was over. But when Willow had used the excuse that Angel really wanted her here, she had had no choice, she blindly let them do whatever it was they had done to her.
Cordelia told Xander she wanted to dance, she stood and walked to the dance floor, Xander shrugged his shoulder and got up and followed her.
Willow kept glancing at the doorway, Oz was wondering who she was waiting for. Was she looking for some guy? Jealousy knawed at Oz, no he wouldn’t believe that, not Willow.
"Who are you waiting for?" 0z asked her.
"Oh no one, just wondering who’s here." Willow said.
But Oz knew when Willow was lying and she was lying right now, she was waiting for somebody, what was she up to?
"Well, do you want to dance while you wonder?" Oz asked.
Willow smiled and put her hand in Oz’s and let him draw her to the dance floor. She smiled to herself, she had never even thought about fast dancing before Oz came into her life, now she did it without even thinking.
She turned back to Marissa, "You don’t mind do you? I wouldn’t want to leave you here all alone.
Buffy laughed and said "Why thank you very much Ms. Rosenberg, are Angel and I invisible now?"
"Oh no," Willow said, "but I do know when you two are together you sort of forget the rest of the world exist."
Buffy grimaced, "Sorry about that, we don’t do it on purpose, we do just sort of forget everything else."
Willow smiled, "That’s ok, I understand," she turned and looked at Oz standing near the dance floor tapping his foot. "I sort of do the same thing sometimes, we can’t help it, we’re in love." She turned and walked towards Oz.
"If you would like to dance too, go right ahead, do not let me stop you." Marissa said to Buffy and Angel.
"I think I’ll pass." Angel said, "I’m not up on these dances yet, don’t think I ever will be" he muttered the last part.
Buffy smiled and lifted his hand and kissed his palm. He smiled back at her.
"And away they go into never never land," Marissa muttered to herself. She turned and watched the band perform. They were good, while she was in Canada, she had lived on a island named Saltspring Island, it was very isolated, something she needed and enjoyed. Brother Luca had bought her a small black and white television, she had discovered something called "Much Music", and proceeded to fall in love. Music in any form was a delight for her, but she particularly liked the English bands of the 80's, she found out that when she was alone that the music somehow crawled inside of her and she couldn’t control the feelings that rushed through her body, dancing became a secret love of hers. Not one that she was ready to share yet, but soon she would be back in the second loft room at Angel’s and she could turn her radio on low and dance the night away. She never even realized when her foot started tapping to the beat.
Spike entered the Bronze and slowly walked towards the dance floor, searching for Marissa and her friends, he found the two couples dancing on the floor, and the happy nervous laugh that Willow gave off at the sight of had him wondering what she was up too, if he didn’t know better he would have thought that she was actually glad to see him. He saw her turn and whisper something in the air-heads ear, Cordelia turned and looked at him with a open mouthed glare, then she turned and handed something to Willow. Whatever, Spike thought, he turned scanning the crowd for Rissa. He found her sitting with Angel and Buffy in the lounge area, he headed in their direction.
Marissa saw William walking towards them, her foot stopped tapping and she sat up straighter, pulling the top up and the hem down at the same time. Realizing what she was doing, she put her hands in her lap and turned her attention to the dance floor again. She caught the smile on Willow’s lips and realized that she had been set-up. She understood why Willow would do this, but it still hurt in a small way. Willow was a romantic, she knew that Marissa felt something for William and was just trying to help in her own way, but she didn’t realize that Marissa didn’t want her help with this particular problem.
Spike stepped up onto the raised floor and stared at Marissa, he felt heat rush to certain points of his body.
"Well surprise, surprise, who would have thought we would run into you here." Smiling Buffy looked at Marissa to see how she was reacting. Marissa was looking everywhere but at Spike.
<My God> Spike thought, what the hell was she wearing, he had always thought Marissa a beautiful women, but the word sexy wasn’t something he would have attached to her. Even sitting down he could see how the dress; if you could call it a dress, molded to her body, outlining every line and curve.
Angel saw the look on Spike’s face and realized what was happening, Spike was seeing Marissa in a whole new light, he smiled to himself. Maybe this is what the two of them needed. He decided it was time for him and Buffy to let these two alone, just on cue a slow song started to play, he thought he could handle that. He nudged Buffy off of his lap and turned to face her.
"My Lady, may I have the honor of this dance?" Angel gallantly put his hand out to Buffy.
"Always and forever my Knight." Buffy replied taking his hand and letting him lead her to the dance floor.
Marissa couldn’t believe they were abandoning her with William, so she panicked. She stood up and started walking towards the door.
Spike laid his hand on her arm, "May I have this dance my sweet?"
"I think it is time for me to be leaving," Marissa said.
"Now who is running away?" Spike said.
"I learned it from you, you taught me well I would say." Marissa wouldn’t look at his face as she spoke, she kept her face adverted from him.
"I would say its just one of many things I taught you." Spike said. He sighed, "Rissa, please look at me, I’m just asking you to dance, that’s all, nothing more."
She looked up into his face, she didn’t know what to do. Her heart told her to dance with him, but her head was saying <RUN>, run as fast as she could, and as far as she could, she was playing with fire, was she ready for this?
Spike took her silence for acceptance and turned and led her to the dance floor. He pulled her body close to his and put his arm around her. He felt her tighten, he loosened his hold a little and felt her slowly relax. The euphoria that hit his brain was a shock to his system, it had been so long, so very long since he had held her in his arms. The heat returned to all his unused circulation points, he could feel the blood burning through his body. He slowly realized that they were just standing there in the middle of the dance floor, he looked up and saw the little one called Willow looking at him with a expectant smile on her face, she slowly nodded her head at him, as if to say "go ahead, dance with her". Spike started to move, cautiously at first, he relaxed himself and let the rhythm of the music enter his body, he swayed with Marissa locked in his arms. He felt like the top of his head was going to explode. For a moment he felt dizzy, his steps faltered.
Marissa looked up into his face, "William, are you alright?" She asked.
"I don’t know, for the life of me I couldn’t tell you how I felt right now." Spike said without thinking.
He resumed moving with the music, taking Marissa with him, he slowly moved around the floor. He could only see her, only feel her, in Spike’s world they were alone, they were the only two that existed at this moment in time. The longing and emotions that were traveling through his body were almost too much for him. He had made love to Marissa thousands of times, but that was nothing compared to the feelings he was experiencing at this moment in time. Part of him wanted to turn and run as fast as he could, never in all his years as a man or a demon had he felt like this.
Marissa stared into William’s eyes, she couldn’t read the emotions that were there, she didn’t understand what was happening, to him or to her. The innocent in her wanted to escape, to run away and not have to deal with her emotions, but the women in her wanted to give herself to him, right here and right now, spread herself out on this floor and make love with him. The innocent won, she turned and ran through the sea of bodies, pushing them out of her way as she ran. It was only a few feet to the door, she could make it she told herself.
But Spike was faster, he ran after her and caught her just as she was at the doorway.
"No, no more running, we are going to talk, tonight, here now!" he said.
"Talk!" She turned on him, "I am not the one who runs away, that is your little trick, but then again, you have a lot of little tricks in your bag, do you not?"
The rest of the Scooby Gang moved towards the door, they had witness Marissa’s wild dash through the crowd.
"I’m not running anymore, talk to me Marissa, your just not running from me, your running from something else and I want to know what it is?" Spike pleaded with her.
She just stood and stared at him.
"Rissa, Please?" Spike begged.
Angel and the others stood and watched, they were in shock, to see Spike beg was not something you saw everyday. Angel had known Spike a long time and he had never seen Spike like this. Even Xander remained quiet.
"Brother Luca said you were in danger, what danger?" Spike asked.
"He had no right to talk to you about me." Marissa snapped.
"He loves you, we all care about you, your not alone anymore." Angel entered the conversation.
"You cannot help me, no one can, you do not realize what you are asking." Marissa jerked her arm, but Spike was not letting go.
"We are asking our friend to trust us, to let us help her." Willow said.
Marissa stared at the group surrounding her. "You cannot help me." she repeated.
"Tell me, I would never let anything harm you, you now that." Spike said.
"Do I, do I really know that, where were you when I needed you most?" Marissa said, "You were with Druscilla. What guarantee do I have that you will not leave me again. I would trust these strangers before I would ever trust you again."
"Then trust them," Spike said the anger coming out in his voice, "tell them what the danger is, tell them how they can help you. I understand why you can’t trust me, I let you down once, but I promise you I will never let you down again. But don’t let your hatred of me stop you from accepting their help, please?"
Even with the music playing in the background it seemed to Marissa that the silence was deafening, they were waiting for her to give them something she didn’t think she had. Trust, it was so simple for these people to have trust in one another, but so very hard for her to believe it existed in her world. Could she ever trust anyone ever again, she looked at William again.
"Why do you want to help me, why should I trust you?" She asked him.
He just stood there, the words were there, but he couldn’t get them past his lips.
But Angel had no problem with the words. "Because he loves you, he has always loved you."
Marissa jerked her arm out of Williams hand, "Love me, you think he loves me, he abandoned me for that blackhearted bitch, he doesn’t love me." She started to laugh, it was a scary sound, "My God he sold me just so he wouldn’t have to ever see me again." She turned and ran out the door.
"MARISSA!" Spike yelled.
"Well you really pissed her off," Xander said.
"You think?" Spike snapped. "What the hell was she talking about, I never sold her."
"Wow, she contracted," Willow said.
Spike looked at her like she was crazy.
"She contracted her words, Marissa never does that. Willow said as tears welled up in her eyes. I just wanted to help her, I thought if she could talk with Spike maybe they could work things out."
Buffy put her arm around Willow, "Its ok Will, your heart is always in the right place."
They turned and followed Marissa out the door, Willow hoped they could catch up with her.
But Marissa was still standing out-front of the Bronze, staring off into the darkness.
Spike walked over to her, he was afraid to touch her, afraid she would run away again, "Rissa, I’m sorry."
But she acted like she didn’t hear him, she stared off into the darkness, watching the group of people walking towards the Bronze.
"My dear, its been so long, I knew if I waited long enough I would find you again." A deep voice said.
Marissa had never thought to hear that voice again, in all her nightmares it was there, but she had told herself never again. She simple stood there and stared, after everything she had learned, everything she had taught herself, she froze.
Chapter XVII
Everyone looked up at the group. They spied Druscilla immediately. Just the sight of her caused the scooby gang to freeze.
Marissa had not taken her eyes off of Darius. Everything she had trained for, everything she had taught herself in the last seven years was lost to her at that moment. She was back in that prison, back in the chains he had kept her in for five long years.
"Who are you?" Buffy asked. She had automatically gone into Slayer mode. She looked at the man standing with Druscilla, he was gorgeous, even at a time like this that thought went through her head. He stood 6'4", long black hair pulled back into a ponytail at the back of his neck, he was wearing a dark suit, Buffy wondered if Cordella could tell if it was Italian or not. He was goodlooking, but at the same time Buffy could feel the evil surrounding him.
"Marissa, my sweet, your not going to introduce me to your friends? I’m hurt." The man said. He actually had a very easy demeaner about him, he stood there and acted like he was on a stroll in the park, actually he looked bored.
"What the hell are you talking about Darius, what the hell are you doing here?" Spike demanded.
"She’s just so surprised to see her lover return for her." Druscilla said, giggling to herself. "Bad girl, you didn’t tell Spikie about Darius did you, shame on you."
"Why Spike, didn’t your little freak tell you about Darius, their in love, aren’t you my dear? Go ahead, tell him all about Darius." Dru’s face went from smiling too hard as rock in one second, "I got rid of you before bitch, all I have to do is snap my fingers and my boys are mine again, thanks to Darius. You will never win against me."
Angel listened to Druscilla threaten Marissa, as she spoke he saw three more vampires enter the lighted area of the Bronze entrance, he knew something had to be done, Buffy, Spike and he could handle these vamps but the four humans could get hurt. He saw Buffy look at him out of the corner of her eye, she didn’t know what was going on here, but she knew they had to do something, and do it fast.
Buffy counted the vampires around them, Druscilla, the big guy standing with her, the two no-necks standing beside him and the three vampires slowly coming up behind her and her friends; that made a total of seven, the odds were not even, but she had taken on more in the past. And she had Angel and Spike on her side. She glanced at Spike, could they count on him in this fight? She hoped so.
Spike looked from Darius to Dru, he didn’t understand what was going on, but he knew that this was the danger that Brother Luca had talked about. He moved closer to Marissa and tried to catch her eye, he had to let her know that he was on her side, he would protect Marissa no matter what. She never glanced at him, she never moved, she kept staring at Darius. Spike had heard Dru’s words, but now was not the time to bring it up. He had to get them away from Dru, and he knew from past experiences that Darius was shrewd and cunning when it came to battle. But he had the Slayer on his side this time, and with Angel’s help maybe, possibly they could get themselves out of this.
Oz had noticed the other vampires moving up behind them, he turned and motioned Willow to back up toward Buffy’s back. Xander saw Oz move and he maneuvered into Cordelia and slowly pushed her back until her and Willow were surrounded by the group.
"Well if you guys don’t mind, we’re just going to be heading on out, got a lot of homework," Xander ad-libbed, "can’t forget the homework."
Oz turned to the other guy and said, "Check please?" Neither vampire got the humor.
If they had been anyone else, this could have been a tough situation, but they were not just anyone else, they were friends of the slayer, they came prepared. By the time the three vampires had moved around the group the stakes, crosses and holy water was out and ready for use. With their tools tucked safely into sweaty nervous palms, they waited for their cues.
"Marissa make this easier on your friends, just come with me now, and I’ll let them go, I don’t want them, just you, only you." Darius said smoothly.
His smile didn’t match the look in his eyes. No, there was murder in his eyes, and Marissa knew this, and that is what drew her out of her shock, the knowledge that if she went with him, he would still kill her friends. It wasn’t her she was worried about, it was the five, no make that six humans behind her, she had to think about them first.
"Easier, no I do not think so, I do not plan on making anything easier for you ever again, Darius." Marissa spoke calmly, hearing her speak the people behind her didn’t realize the terror she felt in her body at that moment.
Buffy had seen her friend’s ready themselves, she knew that they understood the danger they were in, but she had to trust them to be able to handle the minor stuff while she, Angel and Spike handled the rest. In one fluid motion she threw a stake into one of the no-necks standing beside Darius, he was dust in seconds. That gave Angel and Spike enough time to react, they both grabbed a vamp at the same time. Angel threw his guy into the brick wall of the Bronze as hard as he could, Spike took the other vamp and snapped his neck in one quick move. He let him drop to the ground, he would recover but it would take some time, a very painful time. Druscilla ran behind Darius, knowing he would protect her. Daruis just stood and watched the fight, he acted like he didn’t have a care in the world. Xander shoved the cross he was holding into his vampires face, the creature cringed and turned his head away, giving Cordelia enough time to spray the holy water into his face. It caught the side of his face and he dropped to his knees groaning in agony, at the same time Oz ducked the fist flying at his head and brought the stake he held in his hand up into the vamp’s chest, in seconds he was staring at dust floating to the ground, it still amazed him when that happened. But he or the others didn’t take the time to wonder about it. The group turned and ran down the alley as fast as they could, Marissa was surprised that her legs could actually work.
Where to?" Angel shouted.
Buffy never slowed down, "The Library, Giles will need to be told what’s going down."
"What the hell is going down?" Xander yelled.
Oz’s van came into sight in front of the gang, doors were thrown up and the engine was started in seconds.
Buffy turned to Marissa, "Who the hell is Darius?"
Marissa sat huddled in the corner of the van, the shock was wearing off, the emotions were battling in her head, she didn’t know what to say to Buffy, how did one explain their worse nightmare.
"Darius is one of the oldest and the most powerful Master Vampires that has ever existed." Angel told Buffy. "Spike and I ran with him for a few years around the turn of the Century."
"No, we didn’t run with him, he owned us, he controlled us," Spike said. "And we didn’t exactly want to be owned, so we took off, we left him, I haven’t seen him since then, have you?" He turned to look at Angel, but Angel wasn’t looking at him. He turned to see what Angel was staring at.
Marissa was sitting with her back wedged between the corner of the van and the rear door, she had her head bent, her shoulders were shaking, he thought she was crying, she was making a weird hissing sound. He reached out to her, just as he was ready to grasp her shoulders, she looked directly at Spike, there were no tears on her cheeks, her eyes were dry, there was a desperate, insane look in them. Spike felt a shiver of fear trail down his spine, he had never seen her like this, he didn’t know how to handle this Marissa.
"Owned, you do not know what it is to be owned by Darius, image being in the deepest, darkest part of Hell, then magnify it by 10,000. Darius made Angelus look like Mr. Rogers." Marissa said in a maniacal chuckle. "He did not "play" with his victims, you knew from the beginning who was in charge, and he did not ever let you forget it."
Spike reached out to her. But before he could touch her, she screamed and moved away from him.
"Do not, please do not touch me," she said, "I thought it was you!" She started to laugh, the tears came now, hysterical tears running down her face, and she didn’t even realize it.
Everyone just sat and stared at the two in the back of the van. They didn’t know what was happening. Oz kept his eyes on the road but every few seconds he kept glancing in the rearview mirror, he knew they had to get to the library as quickly as possible. He turned to Willow in the passenger seat and whispered, "Get Cordelia’s phone, call Giles, tell him to meet us at the library." Willow did as he ask. She whispered into the telephone, while in the rear of the van Spike quietly questioned Marissa as the others listened. "You thought what was me?"
Marissa shook her head as if to clear it, "I thought you were the one who sold me to Darius."
"Why Ris, why did you think I sold you?" Spike said. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, but he knew that to shout and demand anything of Marissa at this point wouldn’t get him the answers he was looking for.
"I saw you, you and her, Druscilla . . . " Marissa trailed off, she was remembering, remembering the pain and conflicting emotions that had ran through her that day in San Francisco.
Spike crawled to his knees directly in front of Marissa, "Saw us where Ris?"
"At the Amusement Park, on the pier . . . in San Francisco, it was 1973, Angel had gone away and left me alone, he was helping Whistler again, I was exploring on the pier . . . I ate cotton candy, it kept sticking to my hands, but it was the best thing I had ever eaten," Marissa rubbed her hands as if the confection was still there, then she looked directly at him "I could eat things, I wanted to eat things, especially sweet things, and did I tell you I can hold crosses and holy water, they tingle but they do not burn me." She smiled and wrapped her arms around herself, "and the sun William, I can walk in the sun, all day long, after a few hours I get so weak, but I loved walking in the sun, feeling the heat on my skin, you cannot imagine how that feels."
Spike let her ramble, he listened to every word that came out of her mouth, amazed at what she was telling him, but also knowing that if he interrupted now, she would break, crack like an egg. He felt so damn scared at this moment, sitting and watching her, listening to her.
"Ok, this is like the Twilight Zone, is anyone else getting all shivery here?" Xander said. Angel raised his hand and let Xander know that now was not the time to joke. But for once Xander wasn’t joking, the goose bumps ran up and down his arms. Watching Marissa was scaring the crap out of him.
"I was afraid to tell you, I thought you would just think that is was just another side effect of being a freak. I was walking in the sun that day, I walked and walked, I never even realized when it got dark. There were so many people on the pier that day, so many . . . " Marissa shivered as if she was cold. "I heard her laugh, I will never forget that laugh as long as I live, and there you were, you were playing some kind of game. She looked right at me, and I ran. I ran and hid, but he found me, she had sent him to find me. She had sold me to Darius, sold me so you would not find me. But I did not know that, not until tonight. I thought it was you, I thought you did not want me, did not ever want to see me again. And Darius did not say who had betrayed me, just that I had angered someone. He knew what I was thinking and he let me go on thinking it was you. It was just another way of torturing me, letting me think it was you who had sold me to him."
"But why would a vampire "buy" another vampire?" Cordelia questioned.
Marissa looked at Cordelia like she was a fool for not realizing why. "Because of the Prophecy."
"What Prophecy?" Willow asked.
"The Prophecy of The Gift" Marissa stated.