Go-Between
part3

by
Margaux le Gaye
(Margot le Faye's un-twin)

Faith lucked out. The cult had made their headquarters in the third abandoned church she tried. She could tell by the odor of smoke that assailed her nostrils as soon as she kicked in the boarded-up door that she'd hit pay dirt.

She followed the scent of smoke down into the basement, where the stench of burned meat overwhelmed it. Faith fought back her gorge. They had deserved this, she reminded herself as she descended the last stone stair. Still, Faith did not let her gaze linger on the circles of greasy soot that marred the polished wood of the floor. Instead, she noted the hidden door the cult had used to get into the place. More importantly, she noted the dozens of occupied stone slabs on which Sunnydale's newest crop of living dead slept on, oblivious to the carnage around them. And fortunately, oblivious to the carnage about to happen.

The fires that had killed the cult members were supernatural in origin, consuming them utterly, while leaving everything else untouched. The upside was, no inconvenient bodies to explain to authorities. The down side was, the nascent vampires still had to be dealt with. Faith went through them with a single stake.

It was a bit unnerving. Not showing their game faces, they all looked like sleeping humans. Young humans. Most of them were in their early twenties, or late teens like Faith herself. But each time her stake drove home, a demon screamed in mortal anguish, then dissolved into dust. If there was any comfort to be had in her grim work, it was that the souls who rightfully belonged in these bodies were resting blameless in the aether, and that the demons which had murdered them would murder no more.

When she was done, when the last deceptive sleeper had been rendered back to the earth, Faith spared one final look at the charnel house the room had become, and headed out the secret door. She came out into a garden, and dragged in deep breaths of air, not realizing how desperately she needed to clean out the stench of ashes and burned flesh from her lungs until she had cool, pure air to breathe. Worn out by the events of the night, Faith headed home.

Where one more trial awaited her.

She realized she should have known, as she opened the door and saw who was in the room, curled up on her bed, clutching a pillow. The only illumination came from the street lights and neon motel sign outside the room. Buffy had turned nothing on, as if even a lamp could not pierce the darkness engulfing her.

"I thought it wouldn't hurt," Buffy explained apologetically, her voice heartbreakingly fragile.

"Oh, baby," Faith whispered, understanding. She closed the door softly behind her, and quietly approached the bed. She sat down at the foot, sensing that Buffy needed her to be close, but that she didn't want physical contact just yet. Later, there would be weeping. Later, she would hold Buffy and rock her in her arms, offering what little comfort she could. For now, she knew her role was just to be there. Just to listen.

"I mean, we haven't been together since Spike made me see that we could never be friends," Buffy went on. "And I've had you."

"I know," Faith whispered reassuringly.

"I love you, Faith. I really do. So…why does it hurt?"

Faith searched inside herself for words. She wasn't good at this at all, had never been deep thought girl, but she answered as honestly as she could. "It hurts because…Spike was right. You never will be friends with Angel. And its all right. I know you love me, but I've always known you loved him first. I've always known that if it wasn't for the curse, you'd never have left him."

"But he's leaving me," Buffy said in that small, lost voice. "He's not just leaving my bed, he's leaving my life. And I can stand not having him in my arms but how can I stand not seeing him, ever, not hearing the sound of his voice, not knowing if he's okay or hurting or even alive?" Then the tears came. Buffy curled around the pillow, and Faith instinctively moved to pull the sobbing girl into her arms. She held her lover tenderly, rocking her, stroking her hair, murmuring the same soothing reassurances she had murmured to Angel not two hours before. Buffy held onto her, sobbing those heartbreaking, gut-wrenching sobs, until Faith felt her own tears flowing freely. But she continued to murmur her reassurances, continued to offer what comfort she could, forcing back her own pain in order to ease her lover's.

They sat that way for a long time until Buffy calmed enough to tell Faith what had happened. Her own fruitless patrol, her return to her house. Angel, waiting for her in her bedroom. His explanation about the cult and about Faith's part in ending it.

"Faith?" Buffy had asked. "Why didn't you come to me?"

Buffy cried again, unable to go on, but Faith understood what else had been said. Buffy must have told Angel of her own need for him to be with her, to know that even if they could never be together again, he was there for her. And he must have told Buffy he would always be there for her, that if she ever needed him, he would come.

But that his very life depended on them being apart.

That was when she would have let him go, with one last, bittersweet kiss. She loved him, always and absolutely, and she would die herself before she let him die. But her heart would have broken, as it had before, and she would have gone to find comfort from the source she needed it most. From Faith.

Faith was deeply grateful that Buffy had come to her, not to Willow, not to Giles, not to her own mother, but to her. She continued to rock Buffy and to offer comfort, until Buffy's tears were spent and her sobs ceased. Until she regained enough strength to sit up in the bed, and wipe her swollen eyes. Keeping one arm around Buffy's shoulders, Faith reached over to the bedside stand for a handful of tissues.

"Thanks," she said, taking the tissues. "But…you weren't surprised when you found me here. And I know you saw Angel tonight. He told you, didn't he?"

"Yeah, hon. He told me," Faith agreed.

"What else did you…" Buffy paused, frowning, as if puzzled. She looked at Faith questioningly. Faith didn't understand what was going on. Then Buffy's eyes grew huge, her face paled. "Oh, Faith!" she said. "You were with him. You were with Angel!"

Faith grew pale in her turn. God, how could she have forgotten, twice in one night, when Slayer senses were as keen as vampire senses any day? But Buffy had been so vulnerable when she walked in, it hadn't even occurred to her to make an excuse. Now, embarrassed again, she tried to pull away.

"Let me get cleaned up and we can talk about…"

"No!" Buffy said, pulling Faith back around. Faith wasn't sure what she expected her girlfriend's face to reveal. Anger, she supposed, or pain at what must seem a betrayal. But though Buffy was crying again, she wasn't angry. Her touch, when it came, was gentle. Her hand reached out to trace, so lightly, over Faith's lips.

"He kissed you, where I did," it was a statement, not a question. "He could taste me on you."

"Yes," Faith acknowledged, trying to pull away again. "Buffy, I've been through smoke and fire tonight. Let me clean up, please." It was a poor excuse. The fire had been supernatural, the smoke all but dissipated before she got to the church. Faith just wanted to spare Buffy, but Buffy shook her head in negation, the tears coming more quickly.

"He tasted me on you," she repeated.

"Buffy…" Faith said helplessly.

"He wouldn't let me say good-bye…" Buffy whispered.

Then Faith understood and stopped trying to pull away. Smoke and fire meant nothing to Buffy right now. She didn't care a bit about a faint trace of ashes when her heart was turning to dust within her breast. Faith opened her arms, drawing Buffy toward her and into a kiss. For the second time that night, she played go-between, offering back to Buffy the taste of her one true love which Faith had only been granted for Buffy's sake to begin with.

The woman she loved was in her arms and she was mourning the loss of another. It should hurt like hell, but it didn't. Maybe because Buffy had made her own love for Faith too plain, too often, for her to feel really threatened by the love she continued to feel for Angel.

Maybe because, tonight, Faith had learned to love Angel, just a little, herself.

And maybe the hows and whys didn't matter. Buffy's hands moved upward, tangling into Faith's hair, holding her face still for a kiss. Buffy's mouth moved slowly, gently over Faith's lips. There was something tentative in the caress, as if she were making love to Faith for the first time, and wasn't sure about how Faith would respond. Faith felt arousal begin deep in the pit of her belly, despite the thorough satisfaction she had found with Angel. But then that had been almost two hours ago. There was a lot to be said for having a Slayer's recuperative powers. Faith kissed Buffy back, opening her mouth and licking across the other girl's lips. Buffy opened her own mouth, her tongue meeting Faith's, beginning a gentle lover's duel. Buffy pressed closer to Faith, and Faith could feel her lover's arousal, feel the press of her hardening nipples against her own breasts. Faith's nipples rose in response, her core growing wet again as Buffy pressed her backward on the bed. Faith spread her legs, allowing one of Buffy's legs to slide between them while she straddled Faith's thigh, and Faith wrapped her arms around her lover's back.

They were both wearing too damned many clothes. The early April evening had been a touch chill, so both girls wore jackets. Faith impatiently slid her hands under the leather of the one Buffy wore, tugging the shirt under it up and out of her way until her hands rested right against the warm smoothness of Buffy's skin.

It felt so damned soft, so damned fragile, when it wasn't at all. With a groan, Faith slid her hands along that heated, deceptive flesh, moving downwards, beneath the waist band of Buffy's slacks and her panties, cupping the smooth cheeks of her girlfriend's derrière, pressing Buffy down more firmly on the leg she straddled. Buffy whimpered, grinding to get as much pressure as she could on her hungry clit. And all the while her mouth remained fused to Faith's, her tongue battling with her lover's.

Impatient with the clothing keeping her from what she most wanted, Faith moved her hands back up Buffy's back, but only so she could work them around to the front and deal with zippers, buttons and all the other tedious barriers to having Buffy's hot, naked flesh pressed against her own.

Buffy helped, breaking the kiss just long enough to begin similar work with Faith's clothes. Between heated kisses and mounting hunger, they stripped each other bare, until Faith had what she wanted: Buffy, gloriously naked above her, her soaking womanhood grinding against Faith's thigh, her beautiful, full breasts easily captured by Faith's hungry mouth.

Faith closed over a bronze-tipped areola, sucking on the tender flesh while Buffy, head flung back, whimpered, her hips churning. She pressed her thigh up and into Faith, unerringly finding the place to apply the most exquisite pressure. She kept that up for several minutes, driving Faith frantic with need. Then she slid her hand downward, caressing over Faith's own breasts, but seeking lower until she eased a finger deeply inside Faith, who moaned in pleasure, and sucked harder on the breast in her mouth. A second finger joined the first, and then a third. Buffy ruthlessly stretched Faith's silken walls, pistoning in and out of her. Faith was writhing and whimpering. She tried to reach Buffy's own flooding core, but Buffy eluded her, pushing her hands away, although she continued to ride Faith's thigh.

"Come for me, baby, " Buffy whispered against Faith's ear, before setting her tongue inside the delicate shell. "Come for me now." Buffy rubbed her thumb hard on Faith's clit with the words, and Faith exploded, clenching around those skilled fingers, her mouth sucking avidly on Buffy's tender breast. Buffy threw her head back, moaning in pleasure, all the while continuing the thrust and play of her own fingers, drawing out Faith's orgasm.

Eventually Faith collapsed, her mouth releasing Buffy's nipple as she gasped for breath. Buffy kissed her lightly, withdrawing her hand. Buffy lifted the hand and contemplated it for a moment, then delicately, tentatively, she began to lick the musky dampness from her fingers. Buffy closed her eyes, savoring the taste, and Faith knew that she was seeking the mingled taste of Angel with Faith. By the time Buffy had cleaned the last drop from her fingers, Faith had recovered from her most recent orgasm. Buffy slid off of her thigh and forced her lover's legs farther apart so that she could nestle between them and go directly to the source.

Her tongue licked around the edges of Faith's womanhood, delving into the plump folds, teasing the nerve endings. Faith whimpered, bucking her hips against her lover's mouth, reaching her hands to tangle in Buffy's glorious mane. Buffy wouldn’t let herself be rushed. She pushed Faith's hands away, grabbing them and placing them on Faith's own breasts. The message was clear. Buffy wanted Faith to fondle her own breasts while Buffy was busy with other things. Gasping, Faith complied. She began to pull her own plump brown nipples, teasing them into hard little buds. Feeling this, Buffy's hands drew away, sliding down Faith's arms, her torso, fondling her hips and sliding beneath her buttocks to lift her more closely to Buffy's yet busy mouth.

Faith gasped as Buffy's tongue circled closer, laving her inner lips thoroughly before travelling with slow deliberation to her clit. Buffy caught the tender morsel between her teeth, and nipped delicately, just the way Faith loved. Faith felt another orgasm approach. All Buffy had to do was nip a few more times…

Buffy released the morsel, instead. Her tongue flicked over it so lightly that Faith screamed in both frustration and heightening desire. A few more light strokes, each one getting just that bit more firm, without giving the pressure Faith desperately needed.

Then Buffy gave her one strong, final lick, one final, parting nip, bringing Faith right to the edge…before Buffy slid her tongue deep inside Faith's molten core.

Once again Faith found herself stretched on a rack of pleasure with a lover who intended to arouse, but would not grant her completion. She whimpered and groaned as Buffy tasted her fully, her tongue bringing exquisite sensation, voluptuous carnality, but stopping just short fulfillment. Faith's head tossed from side to side as her hips drove helplessly in rhythm with Buffy's hungry tongue and she herself hung suspended on the edge.

Until Buffy took pity on her, pulling her tongue from the honeyed depths she had been enjoying, and back up to the straining, swollen clit that needed her kisses far more. Buffy laved it with a slow and deliberate caress, until Faith was crying, until Faith found herself begging for the second time in her life. Then she bit down, in exactly the right place, with exactly the right pressure. Faith cried out her name as she drenched Buffy with her own juices, coming endlessly on her beautiful lover's skilled tongue and teeth.

Buffy continued to lap at Faith's swollen flesh and dripping core, until the last tremors subsided and she lay boneless beneath her lover's tenderly ministering mouth. Faith sighed, and whispered to Buffy that it was okay, that she could stop now.

Buffy ignored her.

This time, she used her fingers on Faith's clit so that her tongue was free to explore as deeply inside Faith as she could go, seeking out the last tiny bit of savor from Angel. Faith reached another shattering orgasm in a matter of minutes and again pleaded with Buffy to stop.

She wouldn't.

She lifted her mouth from Faith, but only to smile wickedly. She moved upward on the bed, but only to reach with one hand for the drawer to Faith's bedside table, while her other hand kept stroking lightly on Faith's now-over sensitive little bud. Faith almost swooned when she saw the toy that Buffy had reached for.

It was a monster, and they had never tried it dry before, never without a coating of lubricating oil on both heads of the massive double cock. But tonight, Faith was pretty sure she was wet enough, open enough, not to need lube. And Buffy seemed unconcerned with it as well. She rose up on her knees above Faith, who found herself aroused all over again as Buffy forced the first few inches inside herself. It wasn't going in too easily, so Faith sat up, pushing Buffy back, and helped matters along by sucking her lover's clit into her mouth. Buffy spread her thighs accommodatingly, relinquishing the toy to Faith as she tangled her hands in the other girl's hair. Slowly, Faith forced the fake cock deeper inside Buffy who squirmed and whimpered as Faith's tongue and teeth on her clit made it easier to take it to the hilt. When all twelve inches were lodged inside Buffy, Faith drew away, and sat on her own heels. The other half of the double cock protruded from Buffy, who lay gasping against the pillows.

Whatever Buffy had planned, Faith now took charge, lifting herself so that she straddled Buffy's hips, and the tip of the double cock was just outside her slick core. Closing her eyes, Faith guided it into herself and then slid down, taking it all the way in…and driving the other half deeply into Buffy.

There was nothing gentle about their lovemaking this time. They crushed each other's breasts in their hands, pulling each other's nipples into hard peaks. When the driving force of the thick cocks they drove into each other wasn't enough, they reached hands to each other's clits and added exquisite pressure. And when none of that was enough, Faith changed her position, lying over Buffy, her lover's legs locked around her waist, their arms wrapped around each other, their mouths fused, their hips slamming together until finally she felt the surge starting deep inside Buffy's womb and that set off the surge in her own, making her slam her hips harder, kiss more savagely until Buffy pulled away to breathe, gasping for air, keening her pleasure, and at the last, as pleasure took her and overwhelmed her, crying out a name.

Whose name she cried out didn't matter. Faith wasn't sure she knew, wasn't sure Buffy herself knew. This was mourning. It was goodbye. It was also reaffirmation. Not only that Buffy loved Faith despite her continued feelings for Angel, but that Faith loved Buffy enough to include Angel in that love.

Faith drew Buffy's pleasure out as long as she could, keeping her at the peak for long, ecstatic moments. But nothing lasts forever. Hadn't that been the point? Eventually the tremors in their flesh quieted, eventually their breathing returned to normal. Eventually they came to earth, two girls in a tumbled bed, connected by a length of plastic that had served its purpose and now seemed superfluous. With a groan, Faith sat up, and removed it, tossing it to the other end of the bed before collapsing back into Buffy's arms.

They were quiet together, Faith stroking Buffy's hair.

"You all right?" Faith asked after a few minutes.

"I'm fine," Buffy said softly, if not entirely convincingly.

"I'll set the clock so--"

"It's okay. I told my mom I was going to stay with you tonight."

"Oh." Faith thought about that for a few minutes. "I guess… I guess it would be easier if…she knew why, huh?"

"It would," Buffy acknowledged. She turned to look at Faith searchingly. "Are you ready for that, then?" Faith smiled at her reassuringly.

"I'm ready," she said. They kissed tenderly, and with a sigh, Buffy turned so that they were cuddled together like spoons as she drifted to sleep.

Faith kept watch over the girl sleeping in her arms. She wasn't surprised to see the tears, wasn't surprised that Buffy's sorrow was too deep to have been entirely spent, or to be completely consciously acknowledged. Faith gently wiped away the tears with a tissue, then settled down to grab some sleep herself.

She knew it for the prophetic dream of a Slayer and not an ordinary dream. She didn't recognize the space, but she recognized those who were with her.

Faith woke, still smiling, early morning sunlight streaming across the bed, Buffy still snuggled deep in her arms. She felt truly at peace for the first time in a long time.

They worked with, lived with, fought against, used and breathed magic every day of their lives. The dead returned to life? Magic. The Slayers chosen to defeat them? Magic as well. So how could there not be a magic to revoke one tiny, misguided, insignificant, personal curse? More tellingly, how could there not be a magic to bind vampiric demons, drawing them out of the bodies they infested, allowing those bodies to return to life? Oh, it couldn't be an easy magic, or a small one. Not something that could be used often. But Faith knew, in a way that only a Slayer could know such things, that it had to be there. Angel would go to LA. Buffy and Faith would stay here with Spike for company. But Faith had a new mission now.

She was going to find that magic.

She realized she wasn't as well prepared as she could be. Returning to high school was out of the question, but she would talk to Willow about tutoring her so she could get her GED. Then, when the gang started college in the fall, Faith could go with them. History was the main thing, but language would be useful as well. Latin, at least, and classical Greek if she could fit it in. And weren't a lot of the texts Giles consulted in even older languages, like Babylonian? Faith would have to see if Sunnydale U offered some of the more esoteric tongues. That would give her a good starting point. She'd have to talk to the Watcher about it. Maybe Spike would have some thoughts; his connections would be useful as well.

Buffy was right. This would all be a lot easier if they weren't hiding from Joyce. Faith was sick of making excuses, of ducking out of Buffy's room as if she were some kind of criminal. Buffy was her lover, damn it, and they deserved to be together as fully and completely as lovers should.

Faith knew now that someday she would make sure Buffy and Angel could be together again, as well. When that happened, she realized at last, there would be no need for choosing or for parting or for breaking hearts.

How the hell did you not love Buffy Summers? Easy. There was no way you could help it. You simply accepted that once you loved her, you always would.

Because when Buffy Summers loved, she loved hard and she loved deep and she loved forever. And her heart was big enough, generous enough, selfless enough to hold more than one.

The End

Author's Note: This is as far as I intended to go with this story arc. However, if there's anything I've learned as a writer, it's that stories have minds of their own. A character you think is a support player takes over the whole tale, a piece you think is a short story turns into a trilogy, a mammoth tome into a slim novella. I've said all I have to say about this F/B arc, for the moment. But one truly never knows. Thanks for coming along for the ride.

Part 2          Femfic