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Great God Contest Questions & Answers Q: Why did you enter the Great God contest? A: I have always wanted to hold a similar contest myself, which I was going to call it: The Second Coming of Jesus Christ Competition. I knew for certain that I could win that competition. So, when I came across the Great God contest I knew that I had to enter in order to be sure that the God of the Holy Bible was represented. Q: Is that the only reason? A: No. The creator of this contest came up with some really great prizes. 1. The winning god will receive all money, possessions and property held by churches, organizations and representatives of the losing gods. These possessions will be distributed according to the whim of the winner. 2. In addition, in recognition of His/Her/Its superiority, the winning god will be the sole recipient of prayers, entreaties, solicitations, petitions, requests and other forms of begging from all the people in the world. 3. At the conclusion of this contest, the winner will attend a summit meeting with the world's leaders to implement divine solutions to overpopulation, pollution, corruption, greed, disease, and other ills which plague His/Her/Its creations. All of that sounds great to me, especially the chance to meet with the world leaders to implement my solutions to the world's problems. In particular, implementing the world around electrical generation system from Global Energy Network Incorporated or GENI. This system ties together the world's electrical generation production capabilities and in combination with the intelligent use of the global Internet can save the world. This tied to my own plan of producing methane gas from shit as well as just shifting the world's power structure to having those who are concerned with the environment being in charge should do the trick. Q: Who was your main competition? A: In actuality there was never any competition, as there is only one God. I understand the question however, as some people do not yet realize that they are a part of me. So in the large view of things there is no separation. We are one being. We did have to beat out the gods of other religions such as the Roman, Greek and Hindu gods who are divided. Also, I am a living God, so that wipes out false idols such as the Buddha and pagan gods. I am the God of Abraham. Meaning the God of the Jews, Christians and Muslims. And I can prove it. Q: How can you prove that you are the God of Abraham? A: Only I know why I made the original covenant that was made with Abraham in the Bible. The reason that I made the covenant with Abraham that all male children must be circumcised is because I like to suck dick and uncircumcised cock is unpleasant and fleshy in the mouth until it gets hard. Usually that would not be a problem but the guys I like to make it with are usually straight and don't automatically get a hard-on at the thought of another guy giving them a blow job. So, I have to work at it until they get hard. From then on it's easy. So, I made an everlasting covenant with Abraham to have all the faithful circumcised so that I would have lots of fresh meat to eat when I arrived. Only the true God of the Bible would know that was the reason. And just in case you think that this is blasphemy simply read revelation chapter 14 where it speaks of the first fruits of the lord not having had sex with women. They don't call young gay men fruits for nothing. Q: This contest is not a popularity contest you are going to have to perform certain miracles in order to win: 1. The first miracle is that you must impregnate a virgin. The rule states that: |