What is bullying?

Bullying can mean many different things. These are some ways children and young people have described bullying:

• being called names
• being teased
• being pushed or pulled about
• being hit or attacked
• having your bag and other possessions taken and thrown around
• having rumors spread about you
• being ignored and left out
• being forced to hand over money or possessions
• being attacked because of your religion or color or personal beliefs and convictions

What does it feel like to be bullied?

Bullying hurts. It makes you scared and upset. It can make you so worried that you can't work well at school. Some children have told us they have skipped school to get away from it. It can make you feel that you are no good, that there is something wrong with you. Bullies can make you feel that it's your fault.

  Why do bullies do it?

• They have their own problems - they may feel upset or angry or feel that they don't fit in - perhaps they have problems at home?
• Maybe they get bullied themselves, perhaps by someone in their own family or other adults?
• They're scared of getting picked on so they do it first
• They want to show off and seem tough
• Many don't like themselves and so take it out on someone else

Sometimes adults bully too

Adults can and do bully children - mums and dads, other family members, and teachers, for example. They may do it by making you feel bad in front of other people, by shouting and scaring you, by teasing or making fun of you. It can be very difficult to do something about it, especially if the adult is the one you would normally go to about being bullied. Don't give up - find a sympathetic adult, perhaps a teacher, and talk to them about the problem.

How to stop the bullying

If you are being bullied, you can do something about it.

You can make a difference!

• TELL, TELL, TELL
• Practice what you want to say
• Keep a note or diary of what is happening
• Don't give up
• Ask your parents to visit the school

• Talk over what to do with a friend, a teacher, your mum or dad or someone you trust
• Remember that teachers have to listen carefully when a child tells them about being bullied.

Remember - it's right to tell an adult that you are being bullied and to ask for their help. But you don't have to let them take over. You can talk with them about what you would like to happen.

Are you a bully?

If you are bullying, or have bullied someone, it is a good idea to get some help. Who could you speak to? A teacher? Your parents?

Helping a friend

Maybe you're not being bullied, but you know someone who is - perhaps that person is not even a good friend, but a classmate or someone from another class? Have you ever stood around and noticed that someone was being bullied, but you weren't sure what, if anything, you could do? Or thought that nothing you could do would make a difference?

Don't ignore bullying. You can help. Don't let the bullies get away with thinking that no-one will do anything. Here are a few things you can do, and a couple that you can't:

• Don't rush over and take them on - it might not be safe and you don't want other people to think you are a bully
• Let a teacher or other adult know what's happening
• Try to be a friend to the person being bullied
• Refuse to join in
• Try to be friendly to the bully, but even if you can't be friends, being kind can sometimes help the bully stop bullying
• Sometimes you can't sort it out yourself. Ask an adult for help

Your school can help

Your school should be clearly saying NO to bullying.

• Get everyone in your school involved in tackling bullying, not just the teachers, but other pupils, coaches and playground assistants.
• Find out how much bullying goes on in your school. Get together with other pupils and a teacher to organize a questionnaire about bullying (you can make sure that no-one reads the individual answers by putting them in a locked box). Once you have received all the answers, you can write up a short report for everyone to read.
• Make sure your school has a good selection of anti-bullying books and other information in its library. Suggest that the school runs an anti-bullying week. Talk to your teachers about having assemblies and discussions in class about bullying - classes could produce posters, pictures, poems, stories, plays which could be shared with the rest of the school.
• Children need to feel safe at break time and lunchtime in the playgrounds - are there lots of things to do and supervisors around?
• In some schools, older children help younger children if they are being bullied. Some have set up "peer counseling" schemes run by the pupils to help children who are being bullied, but also to help children who bully. If you would like more information about peer counseling, ask your teachers.

Vienna Young Marines http://pages.prodigy.net/marsk9/