by Neal Holman.
(transcribed
without permission by Mike Smith)
Hi
this is Neal Holman. I work on Sealab. The following is a
story-slash-comic book I wrote in the sixth grade, circa 1992.
This is after the Gulf War, something something... Blah blah blah, it's
easily the best thing I've ever written. And it is called "The
Dominators".Before
we get started, I should probably explain what this is all about.
In the 1972, Hanna-Barbera created an animated science fiction series called "Sealab 2020". The premise of the cartoon was to depict scientists living and working in an underwater research station. For whatever reasons, the show wasn't terribly successful, and only about thirteen episodes were made.
Fast forward to 2001, which saw the premiere of "Sealab 2021", a parody of the original series in which the old footage was edited and redubbed to make it a comedy. As I understand it, Sealab 2021 ended in April of 2005, which is still a pretty good run if that's the case.
As part of Cartoon Network's "Adult Swim" lineup, Sealab 2021 was collected in DVD's. The first one didn't really have a lot of extras, so this may have been what led to all the episode commentaries added to the second volume, which was released in early 2005. Still, I guess the creators of Salab 2021 don't have a whole lot to talk about when it comes to their show, so after about four or five episodes the commentary tracks take a strange turn, and instead of dealing with the episode in question, they instead seem to be audio recordings of whatever they felt like doing. For example, one episode commentary is a game of air hockey.
Which brings me to The Dominators. The commentary tracks for Episodes 8 and 9 on the season 2 DVD are a dramatic reading of an amatuer comic book story written by a young Neal Holman, Assistant Designer and Animator for Sealab. Entitled "The Dominators", the story is perhaps the most perfect illustration of why twelve-year-olds don't make it in the comic book industry. Naturally, after listening to both tracks, I quickly decided that "The Dominators" is truly one of the unsung classics of Western Literature. I resolved then and there that I could not allow such a fine tale to lay buried, like a diamond in the rough of a commentary track to a DVD box set of a cancelled parody of a 1970's science fiction cartoon. No, I would present "The Dominators" on a forum reserved for only the most prestigious and revered examples of the written word--The Internet.
And so, for your reading pleasure, I give to you Neal Holman's "The Dominators".
In the 1972, Hanna-Barbera created an animated science fiction series called "Sealab 2020". The premise of the cartoon was to depict scientists living and working in an underwater research station. For whatever reasons, the show wasn't terribly successful, and only about thirteen episodes were made.
Fast forward to 2001, which saw the premiere of "Sealab 2021", a parody of the original series in which the old footage was edited and redubbed to make it a comedy. As I understand it, Sealab 2021 ended in April of 2005, which is still a pretty good run if that's the case.
As part of Cartoon Network's "Adult Swim" lineup, Sealab 2021 was collected in DVD's. The first one didn't really have a lot of extras, so this may have been what led to all the episode commentaries added to the second volume, which was released in early 2005. Still, I guess the creators of Salab 2021 don't have a whole lot to talk about when it comes to their show, so after about four or five episodes the commentary tracks take a strange turn, and instead of dealing with the episode in question, they instead seem to be audio recordings of whatever they felt like doing. For example, one episode commentary is a game of air hockey.
Which brings me to The Dominators. The commentary tracks for Episodes 8 and 9 on the season 2 DVD are a dramatic reading of an amatuer comic book story written by a young Neal Holman, Assistant Designer and Animator for Sealab. Entitled "The Dominators", the story is perhaps the most perfect illustration of why twelve-year-olds don't make it in the comic book industry. Naturally, after listening to both tracks, I quickly decided that "The Dominators" is truly one of the unsung classics of Western Literature. I resolved then and there that I could not allow such a fine tale to lay buried, like a diamond in the rough of a commentary track to a DVD box set of a cancelled parody of a 1970's science fiction cartoon. No, I would present "The Dominators" on a forum reserved for only the most prestigious and revered examples of the written word--The Internet.
And so, for your reading pleasure, I give to you Neal Holman's "The Dominators".
(Preface by
Neal Holman on the Commentary Track.)
INTRODUCTION
The century of 2000 has been full of discoveries. Genetically altered people fill the streets and neighborhoods. Those who had only existed in comic books now lived in real life. The government sponsors teams, and the army has super-soldiers. Everyplace also has supervillains. Terrorists are everywhere. Perhaps they are the reason for these heroes and villains. There is also the common thief, who just robs banks and businesses.
There are supervillain teams also. Mutation is one of the events that has taken place in the 20th Century. It has changed people into half-person, and half-animal beings. And there are some people who you can't tell that they are so-called "mutants". Again there is another form of team: the mutant team.
Genetics and mutation is not the only things that has been altered. Machines have changed tremendously. Cars fly; boats and airplanes don't even exist anymore. Space shuttles are about the only things that haven't changed. Bullets are no longer used; lasers have taken their place. Jets, the only form of plane that is used, have guide missiles and bombs. Mechanics have been replaced by androids. Evil androids also exist, as do good androids.
CHAPTER
ONE: DAVIS.
The television in Scott Davis' -- A.K.A. Midnights' -- house reported that the terrorists, known as Warlords, had taken over the Schwarzkopf Building, named after the best military president ever, Norman Schwarzkopf. He lifted up the painting and pushed the secret button. Silently, part of the wall opened up, revealing the secret chamber behind it. There in the chamber was his costume, armor and weapons. His mask was grey with indestructible goggles attached to it. It covers his head and neck where it attaches to his armor, which ends at his shoulders and waist. Then his belt, which is also indestructible, has lots of gadgets and grenades. He has pants with boots, and sleeves with gloves. With all of his outfit on, he is almost pitch black. Davis pushed the button again to close the door, then he pushed a second button, which opened another section of the wall. This one led down to a garage, where a specialized air-cycle was parked. He sat on the air-cycle and left through the tunnel that leads to the surface.
CHAPTER
TWO: THE NEST.
Owl, and his apprentice Razorwing suited up in their hideout, which they called the Nest. Owl put on his cape and bodysuit, Razorwing spread his arms out so his wings with their razor edges would come out. He ran for a while, and quickly took off into the air. He left the Nest through the skylight and saw the beautiful Appalachian Mountains. Owl stepped into the Owl-Talon, their specialized jet, and flew off towards the Schwarzkopf Building.
CHAPTER
THREE: THE SCHWARZKOPF BUILDING.
"Behind me, police have surrounded the Schwarzkopf Building," said reporter Jason Wallace. "Other security is moving in place to contend with the growing crowd. Many are hoping to see their favorite hero. Lots of heroes have arrived and gone in the building."
Inside the building the heroes fought violently against the Warlord soldiers. The soldiers' right hand were mechanically changed into a cannon. That made them extremely dangerous. And the fact they can lift fifty tons.
There was one hero who really stood out. His name was Disaster Master. This guy was huge. He had two very big blasters on each of his arms. He fought like he knew what would happen. He seemed to know exactly what they would do. He did not say much either.
Among them was the Eliminator, Dinoman, Fireblast, Spark, Disc, Switchblade, Ghost, Spark, and Dartman. Eliminator's suit and power pack let him fly and fire powerful blasts out of his hands. Dinoman could change into any dinosaur he wanted. Ghost could turn invisible and shoot a weird energy ray out of his hands. Fireblast too could fly and throw fire, and Spark also flew but shot lightning instead of fire. Disc threw different kinds of discs, and Switchblade had switchblades. Last, but not least, is Dartman. He shoots darts out of his special gun.
Midnight arrived quickly. He entered the building through a ventilation shaft, where he found everyone fighting. He recognized most everyone, and was quick to pull his gun out. He took eight soldiers out with a blink of an eye.
Soon after, Razorwing crashed through the window. "Hello, boys!" he said. "Owl should be here soon!"
Then a voice from nowhere said: "Really, by the time he arrives..." The soldier fired at R.W. and then finished his sentence. "...you'll be dead!"
Razorwing replied sarcastically, "Sh'yeah, right! And monkeys might fly out of my butt!" He raised his arm and blocked the blasts with one of his wings. "Well, mister," R.W. said in a stern voice, "I'm going to show you why I'm called 'Razorwing'." He flew in the air faster than an SR-71 Blackbird. He went right by the surprised soldier, or so it appeared. Then without warning the soldier collapsed with a loud thud. His head tumbled off and rolled near the beautiful and deadly Switchblade. Then she threw up.
"Geez! I thought I could never be grossed out, but this is too much!" she thought. She walked over to the water fountain and cleaned herself.
Owl arrived a few minutes later. They wracked their brains for a plan, when finally Owl said, "We need to know how many are up there, and if there are any royal guards of some sort. Ghost, can you find that out?"
"Sure," Ghost replied. He was wondering what Owl's plan was. Then, Disaster Master cut in.
"No need to do that, Ghost. There are nine royal guards, fifty soldiers, and their leader, Warhead."
"How do you know this?" Owl asked irritably. He wasn't used to not being in charge.
"I used to be a royal guard," said Disaster Master sternly. "There should be four royal guards here in a minute, so get ready."
Suddenly: "You remember well for an old man, Disaster Master! Oh, boys, don't be shy! Introduce yourselves! Oh, by the way, I'm Buzzsaw!" said the raspy voiced Buzzsaw. He has shiny armor, and two chainsaws.
The next voice said, "I'm Deathblade." His voice was soft, but sounded deadly. Deathblade wasn't that big but he had a three-foot long machete on his right hand. He meant business. Deadly business.
"I'm Bonecrusher," a deep voice answered. This guy actually looked like he could really crush anyone's bones.
The last guard's name was Firewing. "Don't bother introducing your names, because you're all dead meat!" With that statement he flew off, breathing fire at everyone.
Dinoman turned into a Rhamphorhynchus, a flying dinosaur, and chased Firewing through the building. Spark and Fireblast joined in on the chase, while the others fought the rest. Firewing was a new at being a criminal. Naturally he was scared out of his head. The only thing he knew what to do was run like anything. He finally made up to the top floor, where he flew through the doorway. With a loud slam, the steel door closed behind him.
Meanwhile, Ghost, Owl, Dartman, and Disc were all trying to take care of Bonecrusher. Dartman, Owl, and Disc kept him busy, while Ghost turned invisible and approached him silently.
"Well, being invisible does have its advantages," Ghost thought. With one blast, he took out the ferocious Bonecrusher.
"I don't believe it!" Dartman said. "I plugged that guy with twelve darts, and Ghost takes him out with one blast!"
"Bonecrusher can resist almost anything," Deathblade's creepy voice said, "and obviously... you can't!"
Startled by the silent approach by Deathblade, Dartman was caught off-guard. That would be his first--and last--mistake. He knew it was over as soon as he turned around. He felt the searing pain as Deathblade's machete went through his head.
In anger of his friend's death, Eliminator blew Deathblade to pieces. He and Dartman had grown up together, fought crime together, and always thought that they would die together. They were wrong. He had lost his best friend, and he was mad.
Buzzsaw was in a panic. "I gotta get out of here, fast!" he thought. He cut a hole in the floor and jumped down to the next floor. He ran for the elevator, and got in it. Then he realized his mistake. Fireblast melted the wires, and the elevator fell, Buzzsaw screaming all the way.
Everybody took the stairs to the top floor. When they reached the door, they formed a great plan. The top floor was just one room, which made it all the more easier for fighting. "OK, here's the plan: Blow down the door, and then kick butt," Midnight said. Everyone agreed.
They blew down the door, and took a moment to take a look. All of a sudden, Disaster Master spoke. "Freeze!"
"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" a man laughed. He was obviously Warhead. He was sitting in a floating chair, and said, "Hello, boys and girls! You defeated Buzzsaw, Deathblade and Bonecrusher. I had to do away with Firewing. He was just too wimpy! Oh well. Prepare to die!
"Kill them!" he commanded.
Midnight threw four hi-tech grenades at a group of soldiers. He hit right on target. Body parts and intestines went everywhere. He wasn't satisfied, so he took out his gun, and blasted some more soldiers.
"Yeah, I got laser boy!" Spark exclaimed. He flew after a guy who looked a lot like Eliminator. He fired at him with two electronical blasts. Spark's lightning bolts went through Blaster's armor like a hot knife through butter. But that didn't kill him; the fall did.
Midnight was shooting as usual when something happened to his gun. A guard sliced it to pieces. Then he felt a guard's fist knock him to the floor. Then, just as he was about to be killed by this guard with a sword, a kind of portal appeared in midair. A man who looked like a medieval knight walked out of it. He swiftly knocked the guard who was going to kill Midnight to the floor. The blades on his gloves sliced the guard's chest open.
"It's time I showed myself. I am Darknight!" he said.
Nearby, Disc and Ghost were trying to take down the huge guard who called himself Smasher. He violently shook them off. "Get off me, you bloodsuckin' maggots!" he exclaimed. Switchblade crept up behind him and stabbed him in his neck. And that was the end of him.
"Wimps! You're all wimps!" the fourth guard said. "I'll show you why I'm called 'Hammer'!" He swung his sledgehammer toward Dinoman, in a human form. He easily avoided the hammer, and turned into a brontosaurus.
"So Hammer's your name, huh? What's your first name? 'M.C.'? I don't like rap all that much. I like oldies! My favorite one is--" He then began singing, and he smacks Hammer with his huge tail. He then turned into a carnivorous dinosaur, and bit him on Hammer's shoulder. He picked up Hammer in his jaws, and flung him in the air. Eliminator joined in on the song. he yelled and shot Hammer toward Disaster Master. Disaster Master fired and finished the song.
Kneeling down on the floor, the injured guard Blade was recovering from Darknight's punch. "Well, Mr. Darknight, if you want a swordfight, you've got one," he said and swung his sword toward Darknight. However, Darknight was an experienced swordsman, and easily blocked the attack. He activated the claw mechanism in his glove. Claws grew from his fingers, and he quickly sliced Blade's head open.
"Come on, Razorwing. We've got to take care of Conehead, fast," Owl said.
"Let's do it!" Razorwing answered.
Owl was on the Human Drill in a second. He quickly threw him to Razorwing. Razorwing caught him and dropped him out of the window. He fell one hundred stories, yelling all the way down.
"Good job, R.W.," Owl said.
"You think you can beat me?! You think you can beat Warhead?!" Warhead said. "Well bring it on! Bring it ALL on!" He pointed his hands toward them, and it started to glow. Then four missiles came from his hands. Spark's lightning shield blocked one, two others hit the wall. The last one killed Disc.
Warhead was laughing hideously, then stopped. Dinoman was a five hundred-foot Tyrannosaurus rex, and was growling loudly.
"Oh [expletive deleted]!" Warhead said, and surrendered.
EPILOG.
"The seven hero-soldiers known as Midnight, Disaster Master, Switchblade, Eliminator, Fireblast, Dinoman, Spark, and Ghost have formed a team," said reporter Mindy Wallace. "They're now known as... THE DOMINATORS."