Urge Of The Moment
Another one of
-(b)'s-banner.gif)
..
.
7/16/04
...
For a good rant, go and check out the Asylum...
I don't think the rant will be up much longer... uRGH!... mUST hOLD bACK eNTROPY!!!...
5/11/01
If
you're bored, you've come to the right place! 
Here are some interesting conversational snippets (in no particular order or context!):
"I saw someone selling snowballs."
"If we're the FBI, we should beat him... he may be black."
"He was asleep and masterbating at the same time."
"The astute observations continue."
"I had my child laminated."
"Plausible deniability is going on in there."
"That's the furthest from Guadalupe I've ever seen a drag rat."
"We should rent that movie, just to hear the swear words."
"I don't think that he lost a medically accurate amount of blood."
"Go back to your snuff films, you dirty old man!"
"Dorothy, from the Golden Girls, is in a snuff film? [ON A TOTALLY DIFFERENT DAY]"
"Heh! It's the Jamaican Taliban!"
"That kind of research is why people never leave college."
"There are none so blind as those who are dumb fucks."
"Circumsize yourself if he really deserves a tip."
"Only with money instead of swords."
"If you win the lottery and want to play a joke on the United States, Kucinich is fund raising."
"Don't be negative - no 'loser,' no 'loousy,' no 'sucks,' no nothing!
"We're definately an avocado margarita."
There's nothing like attacking people to Christmas music."
T honey tastes better after a few shots of vinegar."
"Come by my office and we'll have a thought orgy."
"I feel like a right barbarian maiden now."
"The term is coR-Rapsed."
"They found a way to make us so shit faced we couldn't eat the seeds."
"That's the second time someone's called me a bitch today. And it's only 9:30!"
"It would be cuter with a tail."
"When it comes to torture, animals are, like, more PC versions of kids."
"Damnit, isn't there a happier word for drowning!?"
"Make yourself blind and go to sleep."
"Best case scenario - they're like 'Let the anal sex begin!'
"You tweaping twerk!"
"There's not just right and wrong. There's that whole frowned upon area."
"I like my iced tea like I like my women; tall, bitter, and full of alcohol."
"If they don't involve at least Grant, I'm not interested."
"She said I was getting sobererer as I talkeded to herer."
"Even though it is downloading porn for me, I've got to close it."
"Why do I need pornography when I have a mirror?"
"-Busy- meant 'sleeping' and with -homework- meant 'a guy in her English class'."
"It must be reasonably safe if blind people live here."
"If you can bare it legally in a swimming pool then it's not flashing."
"I could have... with one push."
"She doo daa-ed from the bathroom."
"Whose head got whacked?"
"If you're imagining closer, you're not imagining close enough."
"A lot of unnatural things go together in my mind."
[defensively] "But, I've been e-mailing him packages."
"I would value an employee like me!"
"Sorry if I sound flighty, I'm shopping."
"It was almost like we won."
"I've got chocolate on my lips and she's taking photos!"
"What does culture shock feel like?"
"Do you honestly think that thing is going to save you from drowning?"
"If everyone had a porpoise, we'd never go to Sea World."
"I'll go with you, you have a penis."
"I'm gonna go with the penis, pick one!"
"Next time I see her, I'm going to light her shoe on fire."
"The party has officially moved into George's room."
"I can't believe you don't want to play with the sick people."
"We're being selective now about handouts."
"We had to turn around in the cemetary."
"I didn't want to see his wang; its not that Big a deal."
"I hold the liquid in my mouth before I swallow."
"Don't shake my head at you!"
"I'm going to sleep now, and I'll let you eat."
"Low standards are one of the keys to enjoying life."
"Can you explain to me why my genitals are so withered?"
"I prefer my chicks not to have sideburns."
"Just put your hand out... at this point I would probably rub up against it."
"I like playing on mountains."
"If that's a man, then call me gay, because I want to bone her!"
"That's great... like syphilis."
"I'm not greedy, I just want to know how much money I won. Now."
"If you trick her out on weekends, you could have the apartment to yourself."
"Think nasty thoughts... NO! Not nasty thoughts, BAD thoughts!"
"She's going to be raped by a tribe of Vlad's."
"You are such a terrible boyfriend, Chris."
"Back when I was 13 I would have nailed that ass!"
"Really? Do you have a drill?
"That's a really feminine mustache."
"I just learned to kick. Stand still."
"My friends dog ate my glasses."
"According to him, I am broken if I can't cum in 15 minutes."
"I saw this blue thing in my peripheral vision, and then I thought, "Ah, shit, that's Tim." Well, I had time for "Ah," and then I was in the air."
"Damn A.D.D. or lack thereof."
"The whole time he was cutting my hair, I thought he was gonna say 'Touch my monkey.'"
"I'm short one female."
"I've been thwarted by the chi."
"The flirt gods will be on my side today..."
"I want to be a little Plucker."
"Maybe I should go set a new record."
"No, its okay! I know the heinie lick manuever!"
"My belly button burns."
"I had bad experiences with that pot."
"Christo, you're my Santa Claus."
"I'd knock her out and shave her!"
"You can just use obscure pronouns and he'll never know."
"Is there something I should know about and perhaps participate in?"
"Could you be careful with that club?"
"I wont be mad; I just want whoever took it to give me back my fucking peanut butter." (as he went door to door)
"This is good... is it alcoholic?"
"We need to get him on the floor."
"Thank you for choosing US Interactive as your driving safety alternative."
"I am not sun-burned! I tan with a reddish tint."
"Oh that feels good... I have a luscious busom behind me."
"You have to cook for me! I live here too!!!"
"I'm a bitch, not a slut."
"My antennae is just two inches long."
"Your ICQ name is Benus...?"
"Wow, my pants are really wet."
"The preceding record shall now be struck from the comment."
"Pleasant tasting cherry flavor my ass!!!"
"What have you seen?"
[in response] "Bad things."
"Let us forget of this. We will never speak of it in conversation, polite or otherwise."
"That's not an idea; that's a felony."
"You've gotten so much handsomer in the time that we've been dating."
"I'm Switzerland."
"Maybe she'll fuck up... it is Liz after all."
"What's Christmas without a gun?"
"Your computer has narcolepsy."
"Don't be a cult."
"Silly hats only. SILLY HATS ONLY!!!"
"I don't know where it hurts... Well, I _know_ where it hurts, but..."
"Cross my boob and hope to die."
"A guy wearing that hat would never marry, instead, he would have many affairs, all at the same time."
[which brought on]
"I've got to get that hat."
"He got it up! He finally got it up!"
"You know Chris, you came from Church straight to here. You're also going straight to hell."
[to which he replied]
"No, I had chicken in between. Granted, it was Church's chicken..."
And Here's Where My Random Impulses Come Out To Play...
Everybody Dance Now!
