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CERAM-EDs
Eddy was pacing back and forth in exitement in front of a stand stacked with papers. The banner of the stand read "Cliffs noets 25 cents" Edd stood behind the stand, leaning on it in boredom. Ed stood nex t to Eddy, watching him pace.
EDDY: This’ll be our greatest scam yet!
EDD: I beg to differ, Eddy, especially during the summer months!
ED: just the facts, ma’am!
EDDY: Everyone will want these handy cliff’s notes on famous novels! You will pass any test with these!
EDD: During the SUMMER?!
Eddy stopped pacing to turn around and glare at his friend.
EDDY: Well, do you have any better ideas, Mr. Know-It-All?
Edd smiled and started walking home, gesturing for Eddy and Ed to follow.
EDD: As a matter of fact, I do.
Later, the trio were in Edd's bedroom. Ed was reaching for the mobile of the solar system. Eddy was watching him, amused.
EDDY: Hey, Double Dee! Ed wants Uranus!
Edd payed the two no mind and rifled through his drawer labled 'stuff', revealing an assortment of sculpting tools and glaze.
EDD: Gentlemen, I present to you my sculpting materials!
Eddy rolled his eyes.
EDDY: Good one, Einstein. Playing with Play-doh? How are we gonna make money off of that? What are we gonna do, make clay quarters?!
EDD: Not exactly... my plan was that we make clay sculptures and sell them for a profit!
Ed's eyes flashed as he stared at the various artist tools.
ED: It is highly doubtful that anyone would be inclined to purchase such useless baubles...
Edd backed away from Ed slowly.
EDDY: What the...? Double Dee, were you experimenting on Ed again?
Ignoring Eddy's comment, Edd pulled out a sealed jar, and opened it to reveal a mass of gray clay.
EDD: Shall we?
Eddy muttered something about art being for sissies, but grudgingly agreed.
They got the clay and wedged it (which basically means banging it around), under Edd's careful instruction.
EDD: If you create a sculpture before you wedge out the air bubbles in the clay, the sculpture will explode! Be sure to keep wedging it for about a minute. Keep your hands moist, otherwise the clay will become less workable...
EDDY: Ohh, SHUT UP! I'm trying to create here!
After the clay was properly wedged, the three started to create their sculptures.
EDD: What do you plan to make, Eddy?
EDDY: The most valuable collectible ever- a statue of myself!
Edd rolled his eyes and decided not to comment. He looked at Ed, who seemed to be hard at work already.
EDD: What about you, Ed?
ED: I am making the commander from the ‘Invasion of the toenail eaters’ saga!
EDD: (disturbed) right...well, I am creating a replica of a strand of Deinorhynucleic acid.
ED and EDDY: What?
Edd rubbed his eyes in exasperation.
EDD: DNA.
Later, when they were finished, Edd smiled, holding up his completed DNA sculpture in emphasis.
EDD: Well, it's time to put them in the kiln and turn them into real ceramic figures!
ED and EDDY: What?
EDD: (exasperated)A kiln is a special oven for baking clay.
EDDY: How long will it take to bake our stuff?
EDD: A few hours, under the right co-
EDDY: WHAT? THAT LONG? We’ll never get ‘em sold at that rate!
Just then, Eddy got an idea...
EDDY: Well, I’m heating mine up in a normal oven!
EDD: Umm...Eddy?
EDDY: Quit yer bellyachin’, Sockhead! I know what I’m doing...
Eddy popped his sculpture in Edd’s conventional oven, turning the heat to 350 degrees.
EDD: Eddy, this is an extraordinarily bad idea! Clay was not made for-
(BOOM)
EDD: conventional ovens...
For once, Eddy had no comment.
EDD: Wonderful. I'll be scraping pieces of rock-solid clay remains off of my oven for weeks. Well, at least you didn’t destroy the kiln! The sculptures Ed and I made will be ready tomorrow.
(Next day)
EDD: They came out exeptional!
EDDY: Now time to sell!
EDD: Not so fast, Eddy! Now they must be glazed.
EDDY: Glaze is for doughnuts!
EDD: They are not worth anything in their current state- They must be glazed and re-fired!
Eddy complained a little bit more, but (since he didn't have much of a choice) reluctantly agreed. The sculptures were glazed (painted). Ed got more of the paint on his face then on his sculpture.
They re-fired them on 'glaze' (Eddy had learned his lesson and remade his) and waited for the next day.
EDDY: Beautiful doohickeys, Knick-knacks, and other dust-collecting ornaments for sale at Ed’s Sculptures! The perfect gift for your signifigant other! They even make great paperweights! Only 5 bucks each for priceless pieces of art!
Eddy broadcasted through a traffic cone where the kids were.
Rolf happened by, saw the sculptures, and fell in love with them.
ROLF: Ya, ya! These would make perfect scarecrows for my vegetable patches!
EDDY: Only 5 bucks each, Rolfy-Boy!
ROLF: Agreed, Ed-boy!
Rolf walked away with their three sculptures, while the Eds were 15 dollars richer.
EDD: Well...that was fortunate.
EDDY: Jawbreaker time!
ED: I want mine on the rocks!
~END~
(re-visit the “Fan Fics” section to see more stories!)
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