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FREE AS AN ED
Jimmy grabbed a bowl of Chunky Puffs and was just sitting down for breakfast when a strange voice was heard outside his kitchen window.
VOICE: Is the coast clear?
Jimmy didn’t freak out as is his usual responce to an abnormal situation. Instead, he sniffed;
JIMMY: Yes, although you could've picked a more appropriate time for this. I was just sitting down to breakfast!
Edd climbed in through Jimmy’s kitchen window alone. His eyes shifted back and forth suspiciously, as if to make sure no one else was around.
EDD: Can we do this as quickly as possible?
Edd reached into his pocket to produce 5 dollars.
Jimmy sighed, reaching into a special drawer by the silverware to reveal brushes, combs, mousse, leave-in-conditioner, sissors, a blow drier, and various other hair-care products.
Taking the money, Jimmy directed Edd to a makeshift barber’s chair in front of a portable mirror.
Edd (reluctantly) sat down and took off his hat.
Jimmy, not fully prepared for what he was about to see, squealed like a stuck pig before falling over in a dead faint.
Carefully replacing his hat, Edd shook Jimmy awake, who mumbled an apology as he took a brush and did what he could to give Edd a makeover from the neck-up.
Later that day, Edd left Jimmy's house and ran straight to Ed's house, wanting his best friends to be the first to see his new look.
After they exchanged greetings, Double Dee smiled and, in a rather unusual show of confidence, took off his hat.
EDDY: Holy...!
ED: Mom?
There was a rather awkward moment of silence before Eddy finally blurted out:
EDDY: Wow. You're decent! So, you're ditching the hat, sock he-wait, I can't call you that anymore! Dang!
EDD: Indubitably. From now on, hatless I shall remain!
Strangely enough, it seemed like Edd had shed all of his insecurities and doubts with his hat. He had to return home, not having completed his parental sticky notes yet. When he asked Eddy and Ed to join him, they said they would rather stay and get the scam-of-the-day ready.
When Edd returned about an hour later, there was a little stand on Eddy’s lawn. It had a sign on top of it saying:
“SEE HATLES PICTURS OF DUBLE D ONLY 25 SENTS”
Edd's jaw dropped as he read the sign in disbelief.
Eddy was sitting behind the stand, looking smug and satisfied, a full jar of coins beside him.
EDD: What the...WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO?!
EDDY: What'r you complaining about? I made 2 bucks already!
Edd's face flushed in a mixture of embarassment and anger.
EDD(in a dangerously low, soft tone) Exactly how many of the cul-de-sacs's residents payed for this?
Eddy shuffled his feet guiltily, but he couldn't keep the grin off his face.
EDDY: Ohh, gee, I don't know...all of them?
This was too much for the timid little boy to take. He lept across the stand and reached for Eddy's throat, strangling him Simpsons-style.
EDD: Why you greedy, money-grubbing, miserable, no-necked, yellow bellied little wretch!
EDDY: Ack...gag....I’m sorry!
Ed was next to Eddy during the entire fiasco, watching them with detached amusement.
ED: Tsk tsk, I’ve never heard such language!
From that day on poor Edd donned his hat in shame, and hasn’t removed again in public since...
~END~
(re-visit the “Fan Fics” section to see more stories!)
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