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INTERVIEWS WITH THE EDS
(by Kitty)
Kitty: Hi, I'm Kitty. Me and my BFF Rogue are gonna interview the Ed's today. It's gonna be SO cool. I'm interviewing Double D, She's interviewing Ed, and we are both interviewing Eddy. Savvy? Right, OK then. DOUBLE D!
Double D: coming. [Walks on.]
Kitty: C'mon people, clap for double d. [silence.] CLAP OR I'LL KILL YOU! CLAP NOW! [Clapping]So, hi Double D.
Double D: Hello.
Kitty: so I'm just gonna ask some questions and all you gotta do is answer them honestly, k?
Double D: OK. Has anyone every told you your grammar is atrocious?
Kitty: has anyone every told you; you have a sock on your head?
Double D: touche.
Kitty: now tell us Double D, why is your nickname a bra size?
Double D: Ummm...uhhh...next question please…
Kitty: no really. I want to know!
Double D: My father had an incident with a polo pony. That's all I'm saying.
Kitty: oh. Next question. What's under your hat? A bad hair cut? Nothing, like, your bald, what?
Double D: let's just say when my dad had the incident with the polo pony. he had an obsession with sicciors and hair. NOT a good match.
Kitty: Ok. Case closed.
Double D: Thank you.
Kitty: Now, I'm gonna have Rogue come out and meet you. She loves you, ya know.
Double D: NO! I'M NOT GOOD WITH GIRLS! [Runs away]
Kitty: DOUBLE D? awww, COME ON!
[Rouge comes on]
Rogue: Where is he?!?! KITTY! WHERE'D HE GO?
Kitty: he ran away. i'm gonna go now. Ed should be here in a minute or so. Bye.
Rogue: Bye. [Kitty leaves, Ed enters.]
Rogue: Hi Ed!
Ed: Buttered toast! [falls over, gets right back up again.]
Rogue: Are you alright? Wait-of course you are. Your immunity to pain, right.
Ed: yup!
Rogue: So Ed, why are you so mentally challenged?
Ed: Oh. Because Sarah hurled me down the stairs.
Rogue: Oh! So anyway, who is your idol?
Ed: DAVID ORICK.
Rogue: why?!?
Ed: because he sells vacuums. And in annisquam, there is an orick point.
Rogue: ahh yes. Orrick Point. He disintegrated you know.
Ed: NO! NOT DAVID ORICK!
Rogue: not David himself; his picture. In fact, I think David Orrick is here. OH DAVID!
David Orrick: Hi, I'm David Orrick.
Ed: DAVID ORRICK! I LOVE YOU! [Runs away]
David Orrick: Hi, I'm David Orrick! And I'm leaving!
Rogue: so we heard. ED COMES BACK! I WAS GOING TO CALL KITTY OUT! SHE LOVES YOU! COME BACK!
Kitty: where is he?!?!?!?
Rogue: he's gone- sorry.
Kitty: Oh man. *sigh* let's bring out Eddy.
Eddy: hey!
Kitty: *gasp* YOU'RE EVEN SHORTER IN PERSON! SO KEWL!
Rogue: it's not nice to make fun of short- OH GOD YOU'RE RIGHT!
Both: EDDY WEARS HIGH HEELS! EDDY WEARS HIGH HEELS!
Eddy: so what if I do? I mean NO! OF COURSE NOT! YOU'RE IMAGINING THINGS!
Kitty: In the words of Kay Hanley, Whatever dude.
Eddy: hey!
Rogue: anyway, let's move on. Why are you so money obsessed?!
Kitty: yea you creep! How come?
Eddy: because my brother always bragged about how much money he had. And it got me really angry so I vowed to get more money than him.
Kitty: do you relize some of the things you do should be worth a lot more than 25 cents?
Eddy: how much more???
Rogue: try 10 bucks. Some of the stuff anyway. Not all of it, and if it worked then it really IS worth 10 bucks.
Kitty: it's true!
Eddy: I have to go now...
Kitty: huh? Well- OK bye dude!
Rogue: Bye!
Kitty: what's his problem?
Rogue: I don't know. Maybe he had to go get new HIGH HEELS.
Kitty: Probably. SISSY BOY!
Rogue: KITTY! That's not nice. You're supposed to say, HEY SISSY BOY! YOU'RE A SISSY! YEA RUN LITTLE SISSY BOY!
Kitty: Oh- you could be right. C'mon, let's yell it together!
Both: HEY SISSY BOY! YOU'RE A SISSY! YEA RUN LITTLE SISSY BOY!
Kitty: other than being a dude who wears heels, he seemed pretty OK.
Rogue: yea, he was a nice-money-obsessed-shorter-than-short person.
Kitty: you said it! Hey, CAMERA DUDE! TURN IT OFF! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO FILM US SCREAMING SISSY BOY; YOU'LL MAKE US LOOK BAD!
Rogue: TURN IT OFF NOW! TURN IT OFF! THIS IS NOT FUNNY! OH THAT'S IT YOU ARE SO DEAD!
Both jump up and run at the camera dude. End.
~END~
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