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LOVE IS IN THE ED
(by Jordan)
It's a beautiful day in the cul-de-sac. In Double-D's front yard, Eddy and Ed were pulling a scam involving Edd's talents. It said so on their sign.
EDDY: (shouting) Come one! Come all! Come see Double-D's talents, folks! Only 25 cents! That's right! Only 25 cents!
BOY: I want to see Double-D's talents, please.
EDDY: Sure, Jonny! That'll be...
ED: That will be what, Eddy? Huh?
Eddy and Ed looked to see a new boy in the cul-de-sac.
BOY: Hello, I'm Robert. I'm new, here! What are your names?
EDDY: I'm Eddy!
ED: I'm Ed!
ROBERT: You guys have the same names.
ED: Yep! That's us! Ed, Edd n Eddy!
EDDY: Say, Robert... Cool sunglasses.
ROBERT: Why, thank you, um... um...
ED: Eddy! His name's Eddy.
EDDY: (annoyed) I was going to say that , Ed!
ED: Oh! Sorry.
EDDY: So, Robert. Are ya' gonna' pay now, or after the show?
ROBERT: (pauses) Pay first!
EDDY: Bingo! (produces his money jar) Come to Papa!
Robert puts his quarter in Eddy's jar.
ED: (yelling happily) To the shed we go!
Ed trips over Eddy and lands on Eddy's back
ED: Oops! Sorry, Eddy.
EDDY: Grrrr!
Eddy, Ed n Robert walk to the shed where Edd is. Eddy opens the door and shows the other two in.
EDDY: Robert? (makes a flourishing gesture) Meet the one! The only! Double-D!
They see Edd reading a book. Eddy walks over to him.
EDDY: (yells) I SAID! MEET THE ONE! THE ONLY! DOUBLE-D!
EDD: Aaahh! Eddy! Stop it, please!
EDDY: Okay! Okay!
EDD: (staring at Robert) Say! Who are you?
ROBERT: My name is Robert. Who are..?
EDD: Edd! My name is Edd, with two D's. But you can call me Double-D if you want.
ROBERT: Is Double-D your nickname?
EDD: Yes! And Edd stands for Edward, my real name!
ROBERT: Boy! And I thought my mom was funny for always calling me, 'Robby.'
EDDY: (hinting) Double-Deee-eee...
EDD: Oops! Sorry, Eddy.
Edd pulls his pedal steel guitar from the corner.
EDDY: Ladies and non-ladies!
ROBERT: Huh?
ED: Ha-ha-ha!
EDDY: I'm Eddy, the leader of the Eds! The King of scams and looks... But enough about me! Give it up for Edward, a.k.a. Double-D!
The boys applaud.
EDD: (sighs) Here I go again.
Edd plays a song on the pedal steel guitar.
ROBERT: (claps) Bravo! Bravo! Encore!
EDD: You, you like it?
ROBERT: Yeah! You're the man with those fingers!
EDD: (charmed) Why, I don't know what to say! Ha-ha! Thank you!
ROBERT: You're welcome! Can I ask a favor?
EDD: Sure! What do you want me to do?
ROBERT: I want you to perform (gets a mad scary look) a mad scientist act!
EDD: A mad scientist act?!
ROBERT: Yep!
EDD: Which one?
ROBERT: Dr. Vic from Toonsylvania!
EDD: Toonsylvania? What's that?
ED: Don't you remember? The tape of Toonsylvania I have at home!
EDD: Oh! (laughs) Now, I remember! (laughs more) We saw Toonsylvania at your house, yesterday, Ed!
ED: Gravy!
EDD: Hmm, I'm not sure, Robert.
ROBERT: I'll pay extra!
Robert happily drops 95 cents into Eddy's money jar.
EDDY: I'm gonna' like this kid! He's my dream come true! (to Edd) You heard him, Double-D! Give him what he wants!
EDD: Well, okay! I'll do Dr. Vic, Robert. Which episode?
ROBERT: 'Something Weenie this way Comes.'
EDD: Okay, but I'll need a big fan, sound effects, and a flashlight.
EDDY: I'll get the big fan and a boom box!
ED: I'll get the flashlight and make a big mess!
Ed and Eddy leave and return with the things Edd needs.
EDD: (announcing) And now! The moment you've all been waiting for! I, Double-D will perform Dr. Vic, from Toonsylvania! Requested by the new kid in the cul-de-sac: Robert!
Robert giggles.
EDD: Lights!
Ed turns on the flashlight and points it at Edd.
EDD: Wind!
Eddy turns on the big fan.
EDD: Thunder, please!
EDDY: Roger that, Sockhead.
Eddy turns on his boom box.
EDD: (imitating Dr. Vic from Toonsylvania) There is a veritable platitude of legal tender floating about... (thunder) Eager to be gobbled-up, by a man of my infinite intellect and reasoning! With my vast plethora of knowledge... (more thunder) It will be child's play to bring this wanton capitalistic society to its knees! Those who oppose me will be crushed beneath the heel of my iron boot! (laughs crazily) By tomorrow, I'll own the world! (laughs more and waits) Okay guys, you can stop now. (sound effects continue) Guys? (effects continue) Guys! (effects continue) GUYS!
EDDY: Okay, okay!
The Eds turn off the big fan and their sound effects.
EDD: So Robert? You liked that?
ROBERT: Like it? I loved it!
EDD: Really?
ROBERT: Yeah! Someday you'll be on TV! Just think, you... um... uh...
EDDY: (moodily) Eds...
ROBERT: Yeah! Eds! Just think! You Eds play the monsters! And you'll be the stars of the show!
EDD: (blushes) Us? Stars? Really...
ROBERT: Yep!
EDD: Excellent!
ED: Yeah! Double-D gets to be the Doctor! Eddy, the little hunchback...
EDDY: WHAT?
ED: And I will be (looks menacing) a vampire!
EDDY: Oh, no! I'LL be the vampire! You'll be the hunchback!
ED: No, Eddy! I want to be the vampire because I love blood! Besides, the hunchback is little, like you! Ha-ha-ha!
EDDY: I'M NOT LITTLE!
ED: Oh, yes you are!
EDDY: Oh, no I'm not!
ED: Oh, yes you are!
EDDY: Oh, no I'm not!
ED: Oh, yes you are!
EDDY: Oh, no I'm not!
ED: Oh, yes you are!
EDD: (to Robert) I think you should leave, immediately.
ROBERT: Why?
EDD: Because it's going to get too violent for a boy, your age.
ROBERT: You want to know my age? It's 6!
EDD: Just go! Quickly!
ROBERT: Thanks for everything, Eds!
Robert waves goodbye and leaves as Ed and Eddy still argue.
EDDY: YOU!
ED: YOU!
EDDY: YOU!
ED: YOU!
EDDY: For the last time, YOU are the hunchback, not me!
ED: No way, Eddy! You're the hunchback! You're such a baby, Eddy!
EDDY: (even madder) I AM NOT A BABY!
EDD: Silence! You're both giving me a headache!
EDDY: Shut up, Double-D!
ED: Yeah, Double-D! Shut-up!
EDDY: You stay out of this, Ed!
ED: No! YOU stay out of it, Eddy!
Edd sighs.
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Robert trips on a crack while walking on the sidewalk. His sunglasses fly into the air and land on Jimmy's head while he and Sarah play in his front yard.
JIMMY: OW!
SARAH: Jimmy! Are you okay?
Jimmy moans in pain. Sarah sees Robert's sunglasses, gasps, and picks them up.
SARAH: Great! These are Eddy's sunglasses! We can't get through one day without that idiot!
JIMMY: But Sarah! They're not Eddy's sunglasses.
SARAH: (frustrated) What do you mean? They look like Eddy's!
JIMMY: Except these sunglasses have light blue lenses. Eddy's are yellow.
SARAH: Oh. (growls) Well, who's are they?
Sarah and Jimmy look to see Robert lying on the sidewalk.
JIMMY: His, maybe? He looks like he's in pain, Sarah.
SARAH: Yeah.
ROBERT: Ugh... (searching for his sunglasses) My sunglasses...
JIMMY: I think they belong to him. You should give them back.
SARAH: Okay, Jimmy. You stay here. He may be dangerous!
JIMMY: Okay, Sarah.
Sarah walks toward Robert.
SARAH: Hey, kid. You dropped your sunglasses.
Robert gets up from the ground and opens his eyes. Sarah finds them creepy-looking and they frighten her.
SARAH: Aaahh!
She continues staring at Robert's eyes and slowly shows his glasses to him.
SARAH: I-I think these belong to you...
Robert put his sunglasses back on.
ROBERT: Thanks for giving these back to me.
SARAH: (still shaken) Uh... You're welcome. Um... um... What's your name?"
ROBERT: My name is Robert. What's yours?
SARAH: (nervously) Sarah! Um... I mean, I'm Sarah.
ROBERT: Sarah?
ROBERT: (dreamily) What a name...
SARAH: (still nervous) It runs in the family.
ROBERT: So do I!
SARAH: So... You should be more careful about dropping sunglasses at other kids, okay?
ROBERT: I'll be careful from now on.
Jimmy runs toward Robert and Sarah.
JIMMY: Sarah!
SARAH: Jimmy! I thought I told you to stay over there!
JIMMY: I did, Sarah! But I thought you were in danger, so I came to save you!
SARAH: From who?
JIMMY: From the new kid, right here!
SARAH: I'm not in danger, Jimmy! I was just in shock, that's all.
JIMMY: Why?
ROBERT: (taps his glasses, indicating the eyes behind them) I think I know.
JIMMY: Huh?
Robert removes his sunglasses to show Jimmy his eyes.
JIMMY: Aaahh!
SARAH: Okay, that's enough, Robert!
Robert puts his sunglasses back on.
JIMMY: (faintly) I... I... I'm... I'm... J-Jimmy.
ROBERT: My name is Robert. Glad to meet you, Jimmy!
Robert takes Jimmy's hand for a handshake.
SARAH: Oh, Jimmy! Will you look at the time! It's time for us to go! Nice meeting you, Robert! Bye!
Sarah grabs Jimmy and whisks him off to her house. Robert watches them leave and feels very attracted to Sarah.
ROBERT: Could it be that I'm... I'm in love... with Sarah?
Robert feels love for Sarah.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SARAH: ED!
Ed finally hears her and runs upstairs from his room in the basement.
ED: Did you call, oh little sister who is always yelling at her big brother?
SARAH: YES I DID!
ED: (swallows hard) What can I do for you, baby sister?
Eddy and Edd peek around a corner while Sarah gives Ed his tasks.
EDDY: Here we go again with Sarah the Horrible.
EDD: (sighs) Eddy.
SARAH: I WANT YOU TO CLEAN THE CHIMNEY WHILE ME AND JIMMY HAVE OUR PICNIC OUTSIDE!
ED: Okay, Sarah.
SARAH: And Ed! Before you clean the chimney, COVER THE FURNITURE WITH BLANKETS!
Sarah throws a pile of blankets at Ed.
SARAH: NOW GET YOUR BIG BUTT IN THE LIVING ROOM, OR I'LL TELL MOM!
ED: Don't tell mom! I'm going!
Ed runs into the living room with the blankets.
EDD: It's a good thing I'm an only child.
EDDY: THIS IS STUPID, DOUBLE-D! Ed always does the housework, and SARAH...
Sarah turns on the boys.
SARAH: (faking sweetness) Well, well, well! If it isn't Ed's two 'sweet-scamming-no-good-crazy-nutty friends!'
EDDY and EDD: (swallow hard) Hi, Sarah.
Jimmy giggles.
EDD: (nervously) And greetings to you, Jimmy.
JIMMY: Hello yourself, Double-D.
EDDY: Grrr!
Sarah grabs another pile of blankets.
SARAH: Since you guys love visiting my idiot brother so much... (throws blankets at Eddy and Edd) YOU GET TO HELP HIM! GET IN THERE, NOOOW!
Eddy and Edd race for the living room.
SARAH: (sweetly) C'mon Jimmy.
Sarah and Jimmy leave the house.
EDDY: (angrily) Aaargh! I hate her! I hate that girl, Double-D! It'd be nice if somebody'd pick on HER, for once!
EDD: I hate to admit I agree with you, Eddy.
At the playground, Sarah and Jimmy were by the big oak tree while Jonny 2x4 and Plank hang upside-down from one of its branches.
JONNY 2X4: Woo-hoo! Look, Plank! The whole playground is upside-down! Ha-ha-ha!
JIMMY: (looks at Jonny) No wonder Jonny hangs around with Plank.
SARAH: (looks up) Yeah.
They look at each other and giggle.
SARAH: Say Jimmy, I'd like some sugar for my tea.
JIMMY: (picks up the sugar bowl) Sure, Sarah! How many lumps do you want?
SARAH: Two lumps!
JIMMY: Okay!
Jimmy puts two cubes of sugar in Sarah's tea. Then they overhear someone singing about Sarah. They look to see Robert singing as he waltzes through the flower patch.
ROBERT: Sarah, Sarah! My heart for you is a little frog! Sarah, Sarah! My love for you is one bull dog! Your face is beautiful, your hair is wonderful. Up, down and even below, love sings wherever you go! Sarah, Sarah! You will say aye, aye, aye! When you meet me and my eyes! Sarah? Huh?
Sarah and Jimmy are gone.
ROBERT: Where did she go?
Sarah and Jimmy's picnic is now near the lake.
JIMMY: How come we ran away from Robert?
SARAH: 'Cause he's a freak, Jimmy. You know it.
JIMMY: I know that, but (he points to his headgear) I'm a freak, too, and you don't run away from me, right?
SARAH: Yeah, but he's freakier than you, Jimmy. Let's not talk about him, okay?
JIMMY: Okay.
SARAH: Good! All this running around made me hungry, anyway.
JIMMY: (thrilled) Oh! What kind of sandwich do you want?
SARAH: Peanut butter and jelly.
JIMMY: Coming up!
Jimmy digs in the picnic basket for a sandwich, while someone else hands her a sandwich.
SARAH: Thanks, Jimmy!
JIMMY: Huh?
Sarah bites into the sandwich.
JIMMY: How'd you get that so fast?
SARAH: (giggles) You just gave it to me, silly!
JIMMY: No, I didn't.
SARAH: What do you mean?
JIMMY: (points behind her) Ask him.
Sarah looks at the sandwich, gulps, and looks behind her.
ROBERT: Hi Toots! Can I join you and your friend, 'James?'
JIMMY: It's Jimmy.
ROBERT: But 'James' is cooler than 'Jimmy.'
SARAH: Robert, what are you doing, here?
ROBERT: I came to join you for a picnic. So, am I in?
SARAH: NO!!
Sarah shoves Robert into a tree before she and Jimmy take off; accidentally leaving Sarah's favorite dolly behind. When Robert saw they were gone, he picked Polly-Poo-Poo up from the ground.
ROBERT: This must be hers.
Polly-Poo-Poo flops in his hands and said, "Ma-ma."
ROBERT: I'd better take it to her.
Robert walks to Sarah's house to return her doll.
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