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OF EDs AND MEN
Rolf had a problem concerning his chickens. He had to keep the lead rooster away from the others because it’s medication required that it was kept isolated (from other chickens) for the first 12 hours of use (blah, blah, blah!) Rolf had far too much work to supervise the rooster for that long, so he decided the only thing to do was to get the bird a babysitter for the day. Of course, all the adults were at work so the only people available were the kids in the cul-de-sac. Jimmy was deadly afraid of chickens, and Sarah couldn't be trusted with a goldfish. Nazz didn’t like chickens because of their messiness, and Kevin wouldn’t know the difference between a chicken and a buzzard. He certainly didn’t trust Jonny 2X4 with his chicken, as Jonny and Plank have ‘rescued’ 3 of his prize hens already. And needless to say, the Kankers were out of the question. This left poor Rolf with only one (or three) alternatives...
Meanwhile, the Eds were hanging out at Double D’s house, killing time doing the stupid things that young boys do when their bored. Ed bought a couple of action figures from his house to play with while they waited for Double D to finish his parental Post-it note chores.
ED: (making sound effects)Sssccheeew...BOOM!
The figure clattered to the floor, breaking into a million pieces.
EDDY: Good going, Ed- you broke another one!
ED: Aww, no I didn't- he was broken already, but I fixed him with duct tape!
There was a knock at Edd’s door before Eddy could reply. He opened the door to find Rolf.
ROLF: Thank goodness Rolf has found you, Ed-boys! Rolf requires your assistance in the temporary care of his chicken!
ED: CHICKEN!
ROLF: (to himself) Rolf must be mad...
(to Eddy) Rolf’s bird must be supervised for the day! Can Rolf trust you Ed-boys to take care of his rooster?
EDDY: Hmm...well, animal matinence is expensive- we’ll do it for a buck!
ROLF: (hesitant) Fine...but only because Rolf is desprate! But you had better take care of his chicken like it was the last task of your miserable LIVES!
EDDY: You can count on us, Rolfy-boy!
ROLF: Good! Come pick up the Doodle and it’s supplies at the house of Rolf in an hour!
Eddy was beside himself with joy.
EDDY: A whole buck just to look after some dirty bird for a day? It’s a steal!
Ed was ecstatic. After all, taking care of a chicken was his dream come true!
He ran into the house to tell Edd the good news.
An hour later, the Eds arrived at Rolf’s backyard to pick up the rooster (and collect the fee) Rolf gave them a sack of chicken feed, a paper dictating the bird’s needs, and the prized fowl itself.
The Eds decided to house the bird in Eddy’s backyard (much to Eddy’s dismay) because Edd's yard was still recovering from the last time they ruined it, and Sarah and Jimmy were playing in Ed’s yard.
Once the chicken was put into its temporary home, Edd read the paper instructing them on it's care.
EDD: Let’s see... according to this paper, the chicken should be fed in (he checks the time) ...a half hour. Afterwards, we’ll have to give it it’s medicine.
ED: Pet the chicken, pet the chicken, pet the chicken...
The rooster was surprisingly tolerant of being handled by Ed...but not Eddy. When Eddy tried to pick it up, he got a nasty peck on his finger!
Edd instructed Eddy to feed the chicken. Needless to say, Eddy protested. Edd pointed out that since the bird mistrusted him the most, feeding would let the animal know he didn't not wish to harm it.
EDDY: But what if I do?
EDD: Ohh, quit complaining and feed the animal!
Eddy nervously approached the fowl with a handful of chicken feed in his hand.
EDDY: (shakily) Here, chickie chickie chickie... Uncle Eddy’s got some-AHHH!
The apparently unimpressed bird attacked him, sending Eddy running out of its pen screaming.
Edd smiled as he watched Ed sit there by the bird, obviously developing a bond with it.
ED: Aww, you played with him, Eddy!
Eddy was busy nursing the scratch and peck wounds on his arm.
EDDY: Yeah, ‘played’...
Soon it was time to give the rooster it’s medicine. Once again (according to Edd) Eddy should do it if the bird was to ever trust him.
Eddy went into the pen with the medicine, which was in a little tube.
EDDY: Here chickie chickie chickie...Hey, Double Dee- how am I supposed to give this walking feather-duster it’s meds?
EDD: It’s a supository.
EDDY: Uh oh...
A few clucks were heard, followed by a shreik from the chicken. In a matter of seconds the rooster is running after Eddy in a rage, and Eddy’s running away screaming (again)
EDDY: AAH! Man, I hate birds!
No matter what Edd said, he refused to go near the bird after that incident.
EDDY: That stupid bird hates my guts-and the feeling is mutual!
Edd just sighed as he watched the rooster strut about in it's pen.
Ed meanwhile was having the time of his life. The bird seemed to like Ed too. They spent all day together, Ed sitting on the outskirts of the pen and gently talking to it, while the bird cocked it's head at him quizzically.
Edd watched all of this with a smile on his face.
EDD: Isn’t it sweet, Eddy?
EDDY: I think I’m gonna hurl!
Ed groomed the bird’s feathers with a wet wipe to keep it’s feathers shiny. He fed it out of his hand. He was even able to sucsessfuly give the animal it’s medicine without hurting himself or the chicken.
EDDY: (to himself) He makes it look so easy...
Eventually, the day passed and it was time to take the chicken home.
When Rolf saw his bird fed, groomed, and medicated, he was quite impressed.
ROLF: Thank you, Ed-boys! Now Rolf knows that he can leave his prize rooster in your care without worry! Rolf is pleased!
EDD: It was no trouble at all!
EDDY: Of course it wasn't any trouble for you-you didn't try to give the thing it’s medicine!
ROLF: Rolf will look for you whenever he needs you to take care of his animals, yes?
The other two nodded happily, but poor Eddy cringed at the thought of spending another day with that bird!
~END~
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