Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
I was thinking that bikers should put pictures of missing parts on beer cans.
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me . . .they were cramming for their finals.
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do write to these people? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso.
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
You never really learn to swear until you learn to ride.
As I said before, I never repeat myself! .
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a rat?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
