CLINTON DIES

CLINTON GOES TO HEAVEN

Clinton died and went to heaven - or to be more accurate - approached the Pearly Gates. After knocking at the gates, God appeared. "Who goes there?" inquired God. "'Tis I, your lordship - President Bill Clinton." "And what do you want?" asked God. "Lemme in!" replied Clinton. "Soooo," pondered God. "Why should I?" Clinton thought a bit and answered, "Well, I smoked marijuana - but you shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't inhale. I guess I had extra-marital sex - but you shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't really have 'sexual relations.' And I lied, but I didn't commit perjury." After several moments of deliberation God replied, "OK, here's the deal. We'll send you someplace where it is very hot, but we won't call it 'Hell.' You'll be there for an indefinite period of time, but we won't call it 'eternity.' And don't 'abandon all hope' upon entering, just don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over."