THE TURTH MY ASS

One day God came to Adam to pass on some news.

"I've got some good news and some bad news",God said.

Adam looked at God and said,

"Well, give me the good news first."

Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have intelligent conversations with Eve.

The other organ I have for you is called a penis.

It will allow you to reproduceyour now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children."

Adam, very excited, exclaimed,

"These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"

God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow,

"The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate these organs one at a time."

DONT ASK THE FROG

A guy goes to see the doctor because he's, well, just a bit
too well-endowed. In fact, it's 25 inches long!

He can't get any woman to have sex with him.
Anyway, the doctor says there's nothing
he can do medically, but sends him to see a witch that he
thinks might be able to help.

The witch takes a look at the "problem" and tells him
to go to a particular pond, deep in the forest and talk
to a frog that lives there.

"Ask the frog to marry you and each time the frog says no,
you will be 5 inches shorter.

Worth a try, he thinks, and off he dashes
to the forest (as anyone in this sort of joke would).

He finds the pond and see the frog on the other side,
sitting on a log.

"Will you marry me?" he calls to the frog.

The frog looks at him, disinterested at best, and calls back,

"No". Guy looks down, sure enough, it's 5 inches shorter.

Hey, this is great, he thinks, let's try it again.

"Will you marry me?" he asks the frog.

The frog rolls its eyes, and shouts back again,

"No". Twitch--the guy is down to 15 inches now.

Well, that's still a bit excessive, he thinks.

One more time ought to be just about right.

So he calls across again, "Will you marry me?"

The frog yells back, "Look buster,

How many times do I have to tell you?

NO. NO. NO!!!!"