Here are some questions that, although they don't keep me awake at night, certainly don't help me to get to sleep, either. They are a mix of hypothetical, rhetorical, cynical, whimsical, satirical, comical, methodical, critical, logical, stereotypical, commonsensical, theoretical, lexicographical, and possibly even hysterical. If nothing else, I hope that you find them thought-provoking and entertaining.
What would women have to wear on their feet if they wanted to try on Peds?
In many department stores, there's a "plus size" section with clothing for larger women. Is there a "minus size" section at Lane Bryant?
What's a pareil, as in "non-pareil" candies?
If Macy's advertises a one-day Saturday sale, plus a special preview day on Friday, isn't that a two-day sale?
If a vehicle has four wheels and is advertised as having all-wheel drive, isn't that the same as having four-wheel drive?
What would one hear by utilizing the SAP button on one's television during a Spanish-language broadcast of a baseball game? Do the sportscasters make some kind of an announcement as their English-speaking counterparts do?
Is Melba toast made with a Melba toaster? And what's Melba bread anyway?
What kind of an animal is a round, as in "eye of round?" And why in the world would anyone want to eat its eyes?
Why are the vehicles of the Yellow Freight System colored orange? (We have an answer. Also see here for the origin of the company's name.)
Why is Tanzania pronounced tan-zuh-NEE-uh and not tan-ZAY-nee-uh to rhyme with Lithuania, Romania, and Tasmania?
Why is Hyundai pronounced hun-day and not hyun-day? Or, why isn't it spelled "Hundai?"
Why are the Police, Fire, and Sanitation Departments of New York abbreviated as NYPD, FDNY, and DSNY, respectively?
If a bridge freezes before the road, then which one thaws first?
Why is Kyrgyzstan not spelled "Kyrgistan," like Afghanistan, Pakistan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, Tadjikistan, and Baluchistan? [Possibly the same reason why Libya is no longer spelled "Libia."]
Why is sleeping late known as "sleeping in?"
Why is the term "in shirtsleeves" used when a man wears a short-sleeved shirt?
What do they call Mario Perillo in Italy? Is he Mr. Italy there, too? Is there a guy in Italy who calls himself Mr. America because he arranges tours to the U.S. for his countrymen?
Since it's said in its disclaimer that "Aspercreme does not contain aspirin" can it also be assumed that Ginsana does not contain gin? [By the way, gumbo does not contain gum.]
Why do the terms "slow up" and "slow down" mean the same thing? [Not to mention the words "flammable" and "inflammable," "valuable" and "invaluable," and "ravel" and "unravel."]
Why would anyone put a product with the word "urine" in its name into one's eyes?
Isn't the symbol on packages of Newport cigarettes just the Nike Swoosh rotated 180º?
Why isn't tendinitis, inflammation of a tendon, not usually spelled "tendonitis?"
What will the Russian people get out of Vladimir Putin?
What ever happened to Rona Barrett? Has anybody heard any juicy gossip about her?
Can a clam be as happy as a clam if it's at a clambake?
How would one feel to land a job in the Empire State Building only to discover later that it's in the basement? [I apologize to those with loved ones who were affected by the World Trade Center attacks. I conceived this question well before September 11, 2001, and my intention is not to offend anyone by it.]
Why is it that when Trac2 razors were the state-of-the-art the animation on their advertisements showed that they removed the hair to the skin after the swipe of the second blade, but now with the introduction of Mach3 razors a portion of the hair remains after the swipe of the second blade and is completely removed after the swipe of the third blade? Is survival of the fittest causing the evolution of men with facial hair which is tougher to shave? Will we eventually need to use a 10-blade razor? (In September 2003, Schick® introduced its new Quattro™ razor - the world's first 4-bladed razor. What's next? A five-bladed razor called Pentium? Well, maybe not with that name, but you can bet your Barbasol® that a five-bladed razor is just over the horizon.)
Would a hospital patient who has died be considered to be "in stable condition?"
Which would be considered more valuable to a baseball team, a good-hitting pitcher or a good-pitching hitter?
If monkey see, monkey do, then what about doggie see?
If Arnold Schwartzenegger were to purchase a My-Size Barbie, could he claim that he was cheated by Mattel?
Is it possible that events would have turned out considerably different if instead of having been driven in a white Ford Bronco by [Robert] Kardashian, O.J. Simpson had been driven by [Jack] Kevorkian?
How many items comprise a baker's googol? [A googol is equal to ten to the power of one-hundred.]
What events indicate the onset of Indian Winter?
Are the folks at "Jeopardy!" aware that the "tip me over and pour me out" notes of "I'm A Little Teapot" can be found in their show's theme song?
Is there a Garden State Building, and, if so, how tall is it and in which New Jersey city is it located?
What is the sound of three hands clapping?
If the U.S. has a stockpile of bars of beef and chicken bullion, can it be assumed that the federal government is storing it at a location known as Fort Knorr?
Why would anyone want to be a fly on the wall at an important proceeding, since a fly couldn't understand the goings-on and even might be swatted to death?
Why hasn't anyone developed Triple Vanilla ice cream or Death By Vanilla cake?
Is it possible to be sucrose-intolerant?
Does steel wool come from iron sheep?
Does a person who rummages through trash have the pick of the litter?
Since new television shows which are introduced in mid-season tend to do better than those which debut at the start of the season, why don't the TV networks just agree to move the start of the season from September to February?
If a person is a gubernatorial candidate, then why isn't that person running for the office of gubernor?
Why is Dentyne pronounced den-TEEN and not den-TINE? Or, why isn't it spelled "Dentine?"
How did the marshmallow-like candies known as circus peanuts get their name? Do they feed them to circus elephants?
Since the possible side effects of a popular anti-depression medication include dry mouth, diarrhea, decreased appetite, feeling unusually tired, trouble sleeping, feeling agitated, indigestion, and increased sweating, wouldn't taking that product cause one to be sad all over again? Or is it so effective that one wouldn't care about all the drug's reactions?
Since there is a virus called smallpox, does that imply that there is also one known as bigpox?
How can we be sure that baseball fans are yelling "Lou" and not "boo" at Lou Piniella when he steps onto the field? [Or, for that matter, when it is Boog Powell or Mookie Wilson.]
If a collectible comes with a certificate of authenticity, who is to say that the certificate is associated with the item or even that it is itself authentic?
Is it proper to refer to Yo-Yo Ma's mother as "yo' mama?"
Why would anyone eat a fish called a crappie? [I believe that the fish known as a slimehead was given the more saleable name of orange roughie. Some marketing whiz could use the same approach with the crappie to boost its name appeal.]
With all the activities that she's involved in - magazines, television appearances, "Ask Martha" spots on radio, newspaper columns, products for Kmart, and a lot more, I'm sure - when does Martha Stewart find the time to sleep?
Why is the word "debacle" pronounced duh-BAHK-uhl and not DEB-uh-kuhl, similar to the words "barnacle," "manacle," "miracle," "obstacle," "pinnacle," "receptacle," "spectacle," and "tentacle?"
How did the product Bengay get its name? [I'm not sure that I really want to know the answer to this one.]
Is there a rule - written or not - that prohibits the hiring of women over five feet tall as school crossing guards? [I'm sorry, but where I live that always seems to be true.]
Why is it that if I happen to find myself walking alongside a pigeon, it almost always trots ahead of me and crosses my path? [Has anyone else ever noticed this happening to him, or is it just me? I've also noticed that pigeons on outdoor railroad platforms tend to fly in front of oncoming trains. Never seen one get hit yet, though.]
If Matt Damon is in the area, can Ben Affleck be far away? [And vice versa.] Maybe they could get together for a movie with characters Jason Bourne and Jack Ryan.
If a bride declares at her wedding, "Today I am marrying my best friend," should her fiancé bow out gracefully? Is he entitled to get the engagement ring back?
Could purchasing a new broom be considered a sweeping change?
Is there any kind of food which cannot be simulated by using soy?
The Dry Tortugas are a cluster of seven islands composed of coral reefs and sand which lie about 70 miles west of Key West, Florida. By that name, can we assume that there are also Wet Tortugas?
Why does the guy in the ads for Apex Technical School say, "I can't call you?" Doesn't he know how to use a telephone?
How do hurricanes know that they're not supposed to be around when it's not hurricane season?
Is any of these "colleges" an accredited institution of higher education?
How would one look if one were in a fecal position?
If you inform a person that you consider him to be your chum, would it be O.K. for you to chop him up and throw the pieces into the water to attract fish?
All things considered, during a war, wouldn't it be better for one to endure being interned rather than being interred?
Is it safe to assume that President Eisenhower never used the word "cockamamie" in the presence of his wife?
Which - if any - of these individuals was the "fifth Beatle," and what number Beatle are each of the rest?
Will there ever be a Pope named George Ringo?
Is it embarrassing for a tow truck driver if his truck breaks down, especially if it is towing a broken-down vehicle?
If it's supposed to be miniature golf, why aren't the balls the size of peas? [And the clubs aren't exactly tiny, either.]
Why aren't there any products touting themselves as being melon-fresh or melon-scented?
When are we going to see the ultimate holiday stocking-stuffer gift, the Chia Clapper?
If, as a party guest, you bring a bottle of wine, is it proper etiquette to also bring some grape juice for the minors?
On "Seinfeld," what was the full name of the character known as "Newman?" [When Kramer's first name was revealed, it was "Must-See TV." I guess that Newman didn't rate such attention.]
Is there an organization for drivers in Germany called the National Autobahn Society?
What would be the outcome if Easy On spray starch and Easy Off oven cleaner were to meet?
Can the collection of stupid individuals be called the unintelligentsia?
Can the group of non-readers be referred to as the illiterati?
When can we expect the publication of "Ventriloquism For Dummies" and "Chicken Soup For The Dummy's Soul?"
If Petco is where the pets go, then does it follow that Geico is where the guys go?
With so many companies trying to capture precious shelf space by creating numerous variations of their products - for example, umpteen types of Oreos - how long will it be before a new hair-coloring formula called Just For Men For Women is introduced?
Would an incontinental breakfast be one in which no beverages are offerred?
Must there be a Duane Reade drug store on every other block of Manhattan? [O.K., so I exaggerate in this case, but not by all that much . And I guess that we shouldn't be very surprised, since their slogan is "Everywhere you go ... Duane Reade." In fact, it sounds as if we should expect to see continued aggressive expansion.]
Are scrambled eggs everything they're cracked up to be?
How would Professor Backwards pronounce the word "traffic?"
Which of these individuals has the more shock-inducing name, NFL Commissioner Paul TagliaBUE or actor Matthew McConaugHEY?
If many hands make light work, then why do too many cooks spoil the broth? [At least "familiarity breeds contempt" and "absence makes the heart grow fonder" are somewhat consistent, being different perspectives of the same concept.]
Until an author completes the third work of his trilogy is it just a bilogy?
Which country is known as the Nota Republic?
Why did Tarzan refer to his simian companion as "Cheetah," and not something like "Chimpie?" Couldn't he tell the difference between a big cat and a small ape?
With a name like Ratko Mladic, would it be possible for the Bosnian Serb leader to get a fair war crimes trial? [Ratko - where the rats go!]
Since seven times nine is equal to 5.25 times twelve, could the "Star Trek: Voyager" character Seven of Nine also be called "Five-And-A-Quarter Dozen of Another?"
Do you suppose 17th Century diarist Samuel Pepys would have enjoyed eating marshmallow peeps? [I understand that the English language is weird, but I still can't imagine how "Pepys" can be pronounced "peeps."]
In the song "Winter Wonderland," wouldn't it make more sense if the lines "Later on we'll conspire/As we sit by the fire" were "Later on we'll perspire/As we sit by the fire?" [Not very festive, you must admit, but certainly more accurate.]
I suppose it's possible - though extremely unlikely - that everybody loves Raymond, but does everybody love "Everybody Loves Raymond?" [For the record, I have never watched even a single episode of this show, so I can't honestly say whether or not I love it.]
Inside a standard chicken egg are the egg whites and the yolk. For consistency, why isn't the latter referred to as the "egg yellows?"
What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
What will author Sue Grafton do after she completes the "Z" book in her Kinsey Millhone mystery series? Do the titles of those books translate well into languages with non-Latin alphabets such as Greek? ("Theta Is For Thug," perhaps?)
You can buy day beds and bunk beds and sleigh beds and water beds. Is it possible to purchase a death bed?
Why is it called a smoke shop if they don't sell smoke - at least not directly?
Here's a good one by George Carlin I saw in a blurb for his book "Napalm & Silly Putty": Why do they bother saying "raw sewage?" Do some people cook that stuff?
Would it be better to be called Mookie than Myookie?
Would it be better to be called Flavio than Flabbio?
Why would anyone buy just a shell of beef and not the beef itself?
Is it possible to have more batons than you can shake a stick at?
It is said that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, but isn't fly paper even more effective than either of the other two?
It's obvious what a jet is, and what a giant is, not to mention what lions and eagles and bears are. But what is a bill - as in the Buffalo Bills of the NFL? [The team's logo - a stylized bison - might lead one to believe that their name is the Buffalo Buffaloes.]
Assuming that there had been homosexuals in Bedrock, do you suppose they would have had a gay old time?
If he were alive today and were a fitness buff, do you think that Pontius Pilate would do Pilates?
Are there any whirling dervish fitness buffs who are into spinning?
Do cow chips go well with sheep dip?
Isn't advertising a vehicle as pre-owned inaccurate? Wouldn't the correct description be "post-driven?"
Why is it that businessplace dress-down days are generally looked upon favorably but getting dressed-down by a superior is not?
When did the primary colors change from red, yellow, and blue to red, green, and blue?
Would the cafeteria staff at the Mayo Clinic look at you funny if you were to order a BLT sandwich and ask them to hold the mayo? [If I'm ever in Rochester, Minnesota maybe I'll go out of my way and try to find out.]
Do they play hacky sack in Hackensack? [Try saying that ten times fast!]
Since children don't attend classes 24 hours a day for 365 days a year, shouldn't those "School's Open - Drive Carefully" posters be displayed more selectively, instead of year-round? Otherwise, the impact of their statement is somewhat diminished. But, more seriously, shouldn't one drive carefully regardless of school being open? ["Oh, boy! School's closed. I can drive recklessly now!"]
Here are six which are attributed to major league ballplayer Larry Andersen:
If Howdy Doody were to meet Hello Kitty, how would they greet each other?
Does tennis star Ivan Lendl enjoy lentil soup?
Is there such a thing as an extra-virgin person?
Is Olive Oyl a virgin?
Could "The Jeffersons" be considered black comedy?
How much ink has the New York Daily News saved over all the years by spelling the word "employee" as "employe?" [I'm a real stickler for spelling. Here are a few other errors which get under my skin occasionally: "newstand" instead of "newsstand," "threshold" rather than "threshhold"]
Is a stickler someone who stickles?
Could an excessive desire of caviar legitimately be termed "roe-mania?"
Is Antigua the opposite of "Gua?" That raises another question: How, if at all, is Gua related to Guam?
Should we be concerned with people who pooh-pooh the seriousness of diarrhea?
If a whirling dervish were to do his thing at one of Earth's poles, could he travel through time like Superman did in film?
During its six-year network run, what kind of ratings did "The Rockford Files" garner?
Would it be better to be nicknamed "The Big Unit" or "The Big Eunuch?"
What's it like to get nickel-and-dimed at the U.S. Mint?
If you heed the suggestion to keep your eyes peeled, wouldn't that be extremely messy and painful and cause you to go blind? [I won't even touch the expression "put your nose to the grindstone," which, as I recall, The National Lampoon once illustrated graphically on its cover.]
Who put the "piss" in pistachio? [What puts the "ape" in apricot? Courage.]
Why do the terms "scarf up" and "scarf down" mean the same thing?
Why is cellulite pronounced SEL-yoo-leet and not SEL-yoo-lite? [After all, kryptonite isn't pronounced KRIP-toe-neet.]
In the Tylenol TV commercial entitled "The Lake," an elderly woman states, "My doctor says I'm healthier than he is." Does that imply that her doctor is in poor shape physically?
In New York City's East River, between Manhattan, Queens, and the Bronx is a landmass which is known on its north as Randalls Island and on its south as Wards Island. How can one island be comprised of two?
In a TV ad for StarKist Tuna in the Flavor Fresh Pouch, several individuals are shown, each with the caption "Commercial Fisherman." Are they men who fish commercially, or are they just actors who portray fishermen in commercials?
If a Frenchman uses profanity, can he believably excuse himself by saying "Pardon my French?"
The relatives and early acquaintances of John Leguizamo aren't so fortunate, but why would anyone get involved with him today since they should be aware that the details of any relationship with him are certain to become fodder for material of one of his one-man tell-all shows?
You can be as busy as a bee or as busy as a beaver. In which case would you be busier?
If a watched pot never boils, how can a deaf person ever hope to brew his own tea? [Yes, I know what the spirit of this adage is, and that it isn't supposed to be taken literally. And please forgive me; my intention isn't to mock the hearing-impaired.]
Even though England's monarch Elizabeth II is not a particularly large woman - she's only 5'4" tall - is she still considered queen-size?
Some pharmaceutical products are touted as "maximum strength." Is it fair to say that there are versions of those products which are minimum strength, even though they're not advertised as such?
Why is it "first-name Cardinal last-name," and not "Cardinal first-name last-name?" [It's an honest question. I'm not trying to be flip here.]
Has chef Emeril Lagasse ever gotten in trouble for yelling his signature "Bam!" on an airplane?
If, as the saying goes, the shoemaker's children are always the ones to go barefoot, what does that say about the offspring of the guy who manufactures underwear for a living? [And by implication, if a kid of an undertaker were to die, would it wind up in a cardboard coffin?]
Why is the town of Nyack, New York pronounced NYE-ack, but The Three Stooges' Curly's signature "nyuck" is pronounced ÑUCK? [Can you imagine Nyack being pronounced ÑACK?]
What would happen if "The Talented Mr. Ripley" were to meet "The Incredible Mr. Limpet?" [Throw in "The Magnificent Ambersons" and you've really got something.]
Do they use Cremora in Cremona?
When will the NFL stop numbering Super Bowls?
From Oscar on "The Odd Couple" TV series: "Boneless chicken? How did it walk?"
The word "historic" begins with a consonant, and it doesn't start with a vowel sound. So why is it "an historic" instead of "a historic?"
When are we going to see "NFL Players Week" on "Jeopardy!"?
If you make a living drilling holes, can you be said to have a boring job? [By the same token, does someone who connects girders at a construction site have a riveting job?]
If you have a case of diarrhea but aren't concerned about it, do you give a sh*t or not?
Isn't it deceptive to leave a "Baby On Board" sign attached to your car window even when the vehicle is not occupied?
Since it's "billion" with a "B," is it also "trillion" with a "T" and an "R?"
Is the attraction of sitting in a high-priced court-side seat at an NBA game the possibility of getting barreled into by a player?
If, in the distant future, mankind settles Mars, will some designer insist on coloring everything in earth tones?
If the temperature is 95° and there are gusts of 20 mph, what is the wind chill factor?
If the temperature is 20° and the humidity is 75%, what is the heat index?
Why did Peking become Beijing? Why did Bombay become Mumbai? Why did Burma become Myanmar? [For a while Tehran became Teheran, but it's back to Tehran again - as far as I know.]
When did Broadway in Manhattan between 14th and 17th Streets disappear?
A seaboard is the country bordering a seacoast. Why is it that the only seaboard I ever hear about is the Eastern seaboard of the United States?
On the TV series "Family Matters," how was the sudden absence of younger daughter Judy Winslow explained after her appearance during the show's first several seasons? Was it ever explained? [At least on "Happy Days," the departure of older brother Chuck was resolved by saying he was away at college.]
In many TV car ads, a disclaimer such as "PROFESSIONAL DRIVERS ON A CLOSED TRACK" appears at the bottom of the screen. Since the Earth is of finite size, isn't any public road part of a closed track, albeit a really huge and intricate one?
Since Hamburger Helper is primarily macaroni, isn't the hamburger doing the helping, and not the other way around?
Since SPAM is the name of Hormel's spiced ham product, doesn't it stand to reason that those "logs" of ground lamb from which gyros are made be called SPAMB? (Or maybe SPLAMB!)
If you are your own boss and your business does poorly, should you fire yourself?
Can you attend a football game and be part of the "twelfth man" and still be considered a "fifth wheel?"
Assuming that a Ford dealership were to be established in the town of Harrison, New York, and that it incorporated the locality's name into its own, do you suppose that a certain, very popular movie star would sue its owners?
If you were born in Egypt, and are now a citizen of the United States, could you be referred to as an African-American?
Why is it "translated from the French," and not "translated from French?"
How is it possible to melt tuna? (Not to mention Patty.)
Supposedly, because of a visual illusion, wearing clothes with horizontal stripes makes you look heavier than you actually are; vertical stripes have the opposite effect, elongating your figure. If that's true, then what would be the result of wearing an article of clothing whose pattern consists of diagonal stripes? (It would probably give you a weird, off-kilter look - to be avoided at all costs.)
Why is it the Brooklyn or Queens or Staten Island Botanic Garden, but it's the New York Botanical Garden?
If, as a tourist in Athens, you were to ask a native for directions, and were to point at the street signs, could he feign ignorance by stating "It's all Greek to me?"
Does artist Robert Indiana have any close relatives named Gary?
How did the gummi candies known as Swedish fish get their name? Assuming that they aren't caught in the Gulf of Bothnia and surrounding waters, do residents of Stockholm keep them in their aquariums instead of live fish?
Why is it TelePrompTer and not Teleprompter or TelePrompter or even TeLePrOmPtEr?
Why are certain bishops in the Catholic Church given the title of Primate? What's so special about that? All humans are primates.
Which of Earth's many seas are the legendary Seven Seas, and why are they singled out from all the rest?
Is it possible for a vegetarian to have a beef with something?
Why would a whistle be considered a standard for cleanliness, especially if it has probably been in contact with someone's germ-laden mouth?
When it's mentioned in the advertisement for a prescription medication that it has about the same side effects as a sugar pill, does that imply that taking sugar pills might cause one to have nose bleeds, loose stools, dry mouth, etc.?
Could a urinating dog be said to have a leg up on his competition?
With all the collective knowledge and experience about stadium design available, why would any ball park be built with an open bullpen in foul territory?
Since there's such a thing as vegetarian chili, is it possible that there could also be carnivore cole slaw?
When can we expect to see a bobble-torso doll of Atlanta Braves pitching coach Leo Mazzone?
Can it be assumed that a person who is leading a hardscrabble existence would have difficulty playing a certain board game with letter tiles?
Can a manufacturing facility still be called a sweatshop if it's comfortably air-conditioned?
Why is it horseradish and not dogradish or mouseradish? What is it that makes it horsey?
Is a good home-run hitter in scoring position as soon as he steps into the batter's box?
Is a speedy baserunner in scoring position when he reaches first base?
Can a parakeet be infected by a spirochete?
Why would a shopkeeper be delighted if you were to patronize his establishment, but would be insulted if you were to patronize him?
Why must matrons be female, but patrons can be of either sex?
With a name like Random House, do you think that their book selections and publishing schedule might be somewhat willy-nilly?
Has there ever been a criminal who laundered money through a laundromat?
If a person who is not depressed were to take some medication for depression, would he become reeeally happy?
Would a nudist enjoy it if you were to take him to court and try to sue the pants off of him?
If there were suddenly a shortage of machines for producing cloth, could it be considered a looming crisis?
Despite the fact that he's probably a very nice guy, hasn't Jared Fogle, pitchman for Subway Restaurants, exceeded his customary 15 minutes of fame by quite a bit?
Do twice-baked potatoes go well with refried beans?
Since it isn't a closed figure, why is it called a first- or third-base coach's box? How do we know when a coach isn't in his box?
What the heck is the difference between a crevice and a crevasse? [Aside from the fact that the word "crevasse" sounds more cultured than "crevice?"]
Is there such a thing as a non-registered nurse?
In most countries, the sport which is known in the U.S.A. as "soccer" is called "football." What do they call the sport which we know as "football?"
Can a person turn heads and turn stomachs at the same time?
Why is Manhattan College located in the Bronx?
Aren't female sperm whales a contradiction of terms?
Why doesn't South Africa swallow the country of Lesotho like an amoeba would?
What's so cute about Q-Tips?
How many policyholders of Chubb Insurance are obese?
Is a fishmonger someone who mongs fish?
Is it better to be tow-headed than toe-headed?
Shouldn't that announcement at the beginning of baseball telecasts that the broadcast is also available in Spanish by utilizing the TV's SAP button be given in Spanish?
If you were convicted of a crime in a circuit court, could you expect to be sentenced to death by electrocution?
Can you be soaked to the bone and be as dry as a bone at the same time?
Why is it called a wake, since the person being honored certainly isn't awake?
Can someone who drives an 18-wheeler be considered truculent?
Was Cosmopolitan Editor-in-Chief Helen Gurley Brown ever a girlie-girl?
When is Warthog Day celebrated?
What's the difference between a "thon," a "rama," and a "palooza?" I mean, for example, how do I determine whether to call something a stinkathon, a stinkorama, or a stinkapalooza?
Was Oliver Hardy ever known to have rested on his laurels?
In the future, will red be considered a weird color for ketchup?
If you have a hat that fits like a glove, should you wear it on your hand?
If you get over a bout of constipation, should you be flush with success?
When he was a baby, was Charles Dickens considered cute?
Can a beekeeper get hives?
One way to verbally mock something is to say its name, then repeat it with a prefix of "shm." (Examples: ethics shmethics, money shmoney) That being the case, is it possible to use this method to deride schmaltz or shmutz?
What did Mary and Joseph do with all the gold, frankincense, and myrrh that the Three Wise Men gave to baby Jesus?
Why do they charge anything for the Detroit Free Press?
Why hasn't Moammar Gadhafi, leader of Libya since 1969, risen higher than the rank of colonel in all that time? Why hasn't he promoted himself to something like a ten-star general?
Who's the guy who invented the guy wire? And who's the chap who first wore chaps?
When did "a historic" become "an historic?"
What happens when someone with a "type A" personality gets hepatitis type B?
If a vegetarian is a person who eats vegetables, then would a cannibal be considered a humanitarian?
Why is the name of Duke University's basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski pronounced "Shashefski."
Can a footbridge, even if it is of modern design, be considered pedestrian?
If you have several neighbors named Anthony, can you say that you live in a tony community?
Does the humanitarian organization Médecins Sans Frontieres - also known as Doctors Without Borders - use passports?
Doctors Without Borders announced in July 2004 that it would withdraw from Afghanistan because of threats to its staff. How did they even know that they were in Afghanistan? And how would they have been certain that they had left the country?
When there is an accident at a NASCAR race, do the police ever administer breathalyzer tests to the drivers involved?
Now that the Civil War is long past, isn't it about time to start discussions about the reunification of Virginia and West Virginia?
Why do our bodies have kneecaps, but they don't have elbowcaps?
It's always said that roses are red and violets are blue, but aren't violets violet? (For that matter, roses come in many different colors, not just red.)
Isn't flavored water just a really clever way to market very dilute fruit drink?
Why do odors travel only downwind?
Would it be wise to purchase items from a company which calls itself Sincere Candles?
Is it safe to assume that at least some of IHOP's menu items sell like hotcakes?
Has there ever been a case of Siamese-twin Siamese cats? Would a pair of Siamese cats be considered Siamese twins even if they weren't born connected?
If an engaged couple cancels its wedding plans at the last minute, can it be said that their marriage ceremony went off without a hitch?
How can there be four corners of the Earth if it's not flat?
If a dating service has only a few females, but they are all "plus-size" women, can it still say that it has a wide selection?
Why do TV channels start at 2? Why is there no channel 1?
If the purpose of Playskool Toys was to educate young children, why wasn't its name spelled correctly?
If the mayor of New York were to run in the NYC Marathon, who would shoot off the cannon to start the race?
If Toys 'R' Us sells toys, why doesn't Kids 'R' Us sell kids?
When it was being fought, what was the Hundred Years War called?
Wynonna? Why not Nonna?
This guy Chip Brown has some interesting thoughts. Check out this page of his.
The first of a series of at least ten pages of humorous quotations
GoodQuotes.com - Funny Thoughts