More Jokes

A lot of money is tainted.
Taint yours and it taint mine.

Did you hear about the blond that called the airline and asked how long it took to get from New York to San Francisco.
The operator said, "Just a minute".
The blond said, "Thanks" and hung up.

Learn from the mistakes of others.
You won't live long enough to make them all yourself.

Birthdays are good for you;
the more you have the longer you live.

How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you are.

No one ever says, "It's only a game" when they're winning.

Two elderly lady friends were sitting eating lunch together when the first said, "I'm very embarrassed but I can't remember your name. Please tell me your name."
The second woman glared for a couple minutes and replied, "How soon do you need to know?"

What happened to the man who couldn't tell putty from toothpaste?
His windows fell ou

A sandwich walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here".

How did the carpenter break his teeth.
He chewed his nails.

Have you heard they aren't going to grow bananas any longer?
Because they're long enough already.

How much did the pirate pay for his earrings?
A buccaneer!