Resume

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned - couldn't concentrate

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factor, but that was too exhausting.

Then I tried to be a chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found wasn't noteworthy

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

Next was a job in a shoe factory, but I just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

Then I studied to become a computer programmer, but I couldn't hack it.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

SO I RETIRED, AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!