1. Socialism: You have two cows. You keep one, but must give the other to your neighbor.
2. Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both and provides you with milk.
3. Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both and sells you the milk.
4. Bureaucracy: You have two cows. The government takes them, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.
5. Dictatorship: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
6. Corporation: You have two cows. You lay off one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows, then act surprised when it drops dead.
7. Republicans: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
8. Democrats: You have two cows. Democrats then tax you to the point that you must sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from Clinton.
9. California: You have two cows. The State tells you how to milk your cows, when to milk, how much to milk and the most you can charge for that milk. You go broke and sell the cows. The State calls you greedy and blames you for the current milk shortage.