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I grew up in Compton in the race-torn sixties with my adoptive parents, Collie and Leona Diffee and my sister Teri. Collie had a stroke that left him paralyzed and Leona died suddenly in 1973. Teri and I started making the rounds from foster home to foster home and a couple of them were so abusive before ending up in Bellflower, California with the Sobek's. They adopted us and things didn't work out that well. She was a power and control freak and he didn't have the guts to stand up to her. I ran away at 15 while Teri moved out and got pregnant. Life went on as usual.
In 1989, I met my future husband and father of my three daughters, Chelsea, Mariah and Cynthia. It started out good but eventually, fists were used instead of words and CPS came knocking one day to find me all bruised up. I made up some excuse but the CPS worker had her suspicions. I ended up admitting to domestic violence because I truly thought that CPS wanted to help me. Boy, I couldn't have been further from the truth! They came and took my daughters away from me and added my name to the child abuser index! I'm pretty sure that I fell under the heading of "VICTIM", not PERPETRATOR"! So I was victimized by my husband as well as the system! I know all children can be adversely affected by parental battles, especially if the child is made to believe that the arguing is a result of something the child did. I know that children who witness altercations between the parents are affected emotionally. I also know that yanking these children from the only home they know and the only parents they have ever known can have devastating, long lasting effects. My husband and I had agreed to separate and he moved out of the home. Because I didn't get a restraining order, my children were snatched away while at school. I truly wanted to work out the problems my husband and I had. Why didn't CPS offer us help in that way? To me, getting a restraining order against him would have meant that I chose to abandon our marriage. I took my marriage vows seriously and didn't feel this was a throw-away marriage. I think we could have made it had CPS not ripped our family apart!
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I never was able to get my daughters back even though all of CPS reports and foster parents reports stated that I was very good with my daughters. I was never proven to neglect them. CPS needs no proof of any of their allegations to take your kids from you.
Can somebody define the term "NEGLECT"? The definition has become too loose so CPS can snare innocent parents and kids into their trap! I never neglected to do arts and crafts projects every Saturday afternoon with my kids. I never neglected to read them bedtime stories every single night! I never neglected to keep them on a schedule so they knew what to expect. I never neglected to put them in their car seats while traveling. I never neglected them by leaving them alone in the car while I was inside of the store. I never neglected to do little odd jobs here and there to make sure that brand new bicycle was there for their birthday. I never neglected to bring my camera to all of their school performances. I never neglected to pick them up on time from school. I never neglected to attend their parent-teacher conferences. I never neglected to bathe them every night before bedtime. I never neglected to teach them how to cook eggs and bacon and I never neglected to let them know how much they were loved! The girls had all their shots up to date, regular checkups at the doctors and dentists office and never once did any of my kids have to be rushed to an emergency room for any type of injuries! I kept a good eye on them and I never allowed them to go anywhere by themselves even when my oldest was 8 years old! The girls were very small in stature and I just didn't feel safe with them out of my sight for more than 5 minutes at a time.
Every weekend, the girls would come and stay with me at the condo that Bruce and I owned and I would drop them off at school every Monday morning. I would pick them up every Wednesday night and I would drop them off at school on Thursday morning. Their guardians, Darrel and Cynthia allowed me to have these unsupervised visits for as long as they were in guardianship of the girls. Later on, Darrel and Cynthia had some problems and split up thus ending guardianship of the girls. The CPS workers terminated my parental rights because they stated that I had no parent-child relationship with my girls! A big lie! They ended up with Bruces parents who moved them to Colorado and I haven't seen them or spoken with them since 1997. Bruce and I split up as losing the girls was too much of a strain on our marriage. We lost our condo and that was it for my family.
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After my rights were terminated, I signed up at a residential rehab in San Diego. I had to call in for 5 months before they had a bed open for me. It was a very positive experience for me. I was looked up to as "Strength" in the house. Most of the moms would ask me to watch their children when they had to work. I have always had a good rapport with children. They respond to me in a very loving, positive way. Well, I made the best of it and stayed clean for a long time after I left. I met Dennis and we got together and I ended up pregnant and had Jaky in July of 1999. The hospital social worker came into my room and told me that I had a blood alcohol level of .01 at the time of delivery. I quit drinking in 1990. She used that as a reason to call CPS. In court, the CPS worker acted surprised, saying that no one said I tested positive for alcohol! The hospital social worker used it as a reason to call CPS though! I had smoked a few hits of pot in the later stages of the pregnancy, causing me to test positive at the time of Jaky's birth. I admit that. I would not admit to drinking because I had not done so for about 10 years! Because I had lost my parental rights to my girls, CPS put a hold on Jaky and put him in a foster home for one year.
In NA/AA, Step One says, "I admitted I was powerless over my addictions and my life had become unmanageable". My life was perfectly manageable until CPS stuck their nose into my business and then it became unmanageable! I used CPS as a reason to relapse on my drug of choice, methamphetamine. I am thankful that I got into a program right away so I didn't go on a long, destructive run. I completed an eight month long program and graduated and kept testing for 12 months and the day my case was to be closed, the worker said I had turned in a dirty test the week previous. My case was supposed to be closed that day! I knew I hadn't used but I couldn't convince anyone else involved with CPS or the courts of my innocence. So I was told I had to attend an intensive out patient rehab which I promptly did. Two months into the program, I am told I have another dirty! I know I haven't used! My program attendance was excellent so I didn't understand what was going on! They came and took my son! I challenged the first dirty test in court and asked for a trial and the trial date isn't until a bit further in the future. And this explains how CPS became a fixture in my life and the lives of my children. Wish me luck in court!
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