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Weekly Verse: Proverbs 14:10
Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy.
Weekly Joke: Dear China,
We're sorry that your fighter pilots are so incompetent that they are unable to successfully maneuver a jet around large objects without hitting them. As a token of our regret, here's a copy of Microsoft Flight Simulator 2000.
We're sorry that your front-line fighters lack the responsiveness necessary to outmaneuver a 35-year old prop-driven aircraft. Perhaps you'd like to consider purchasing some surplus 1950's era Lockheed Starfighters from Taiwan. They are no longer in need of them, as they have just purchased a bunch of shiny new F-16s.
We're sorry that there is such a shortage of qualified fighter pilots in your country that you have to send up individuals with poor eyesight, hand-eye-coordination, and depth perception which aid in the judgement
of exact how far away those darn planes are. We understand the shortfall of qualified optometrists in your country, so we're sending 300 discount coupons to Lens Crafters, which will get you some swanky new glasses for the troops. Turn around time is normally one hour, but since we're flying them out on one of our racy little P-3's, it might take a couple weeks. Please try not to hit this one. We request flight escort from the Hawaiian Islands where you believe your territorial waters begin. We're sorry that you can't seem to see your part of this incident. We
know that it may seem easier to blame others than to take responsibility.
You can think of our selling of new Aegis ships to your friends in the Republic of China (Taiwan) as our response to provide better command and control of the area to assure such negligent acts don't happen again.
We're especially sorry for our financial investments in technological advancements responsible for the rebuilding of your cities' infrastructures. Apparently you were better off with the rat-infested slums that did so much for the morale of your people. Running water is truly overrated. We'll definitely rethink this policy, and will probably
go back to treating you like the common untrustworthy street gang you are very soon.
We're very sorry for ever granting you Most-Favored-Nation trading status. This will be rectified at the soonest possible opportunity.
Sincerely, The United States of America
P.S. See you at the 2008 Olympics. Not sure yet where they'll be held.
Exodus 5
1 Afterward Moses and Aaron went to Pharaoh and said, "This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: `Let my people go, so that they may hold a festival to me in the desert.'" [After this presentation to Israel's leaders, Moses and Aaron went to see Pharaoh. They told him, This is what the Lord God of Israel says: Let my people go, for they must go out into the wilderness to hold a religious festival in my honor.]
2 Pharaoh said, "Who is the LORD, that I should obey him and let Israel go? I do not know the LORD and I will not let Israel go." [Is that so? Retorted Pharaoh. And who is the Lord that I should listen to him? I don't know the Lord, and I will not let them go.]
3 Then they said, "The God of the Hebrews has met with us. Now let us take a three-day journey into the desert to offer sacrifices to the LORD our God, or he may strike us with plagues or with the sword." [3:18. The reason for sacrificing where the Egyptians could not see them is given in 8:26 (GE 43:32). Prejudice. ]
4 But the king of Egypt said, "Moses and Aaron, why are you taking the people away from their labor? Get back to your work!" [Who do you think you are, distracting the people from their tasks? Get back to work!]
5 Then Pharaoh said, "Look, the people of the land are now numerous, and you are stopping them from working." [Look, there are many people here in Egypt, and you are stopping them from doing their work.]
6 That same day Pharaoh gave this order to the slave drivers and foremen in charge of the people:
7 "You are no longer to supply the people with straw for making bricks; let them go and gather their own straw. [Straw was chopped and mixed with the clay as a binder to make the bricks stronger.]
8 But require them to make the same number of bricks as before; don't reduce the quota. They are lazy; that is why they are crying out, `Let us go and sacrifice to our God.' [But don't reduce their production quotas by a single brick. They obviously don't have enough to do. If they did, they wouldn't be talking about going into the wilderness to offer sacrifices to their God.]
9 Make the work harder for the men so that they keep working and pay no attention to lies." [The Pharaoh labels all hopes of a quick release for Israel as presumptuous and false. Load them down with more work. Make them sweat! That will teach them to listen to these liars!]
10 Then the slave drivers and the foremen went out and said to the people, "This is what Pharaoh says: `I will not give you any more straw.
11 Go and get your own straw wherever you can find it, but your work will not be reduced at all.'"
12 So the people scattered all over Egypt to gather stubble to use for straw.
13 The slave drivers kept pressing them, saying, "Complete the work required of you for each day, just as when you had straw."
14 The Israelite foremen appointed by Pharaoh's slave drivers were beaten and were asked, "Why didn't you meet your quota of bricks yesterday or today, as before?"
15 Then the Israelite foremen went and appealed to Pharaoh: "Why have you treated your servants this way? [So the Israelite foremen went to Pharaoh and pleaded with him. Please don't treat us like this, they begged.]
16 Your servants are given no straw, yet we are told, `Make bricks!' Your servants are being beaten, but the fault is with your own people." [We are given no straw, but we are still told to make as many bricks as before. We are beaten for something that isn't our fault! It is the fault of your slave drivers for making such unreasonable demands.]
17 Pharaoh said, "Lazy, that's what you are--lazy! That is why you keep saying, `Let us go and sacrifice to the LORD.'
18 Now get to work. You will not be given any straw, yet you must produce your full quota of bricks."
19 The Israelite foremen realized they were in trouble when they were told, "You are not to reduce the number of bricks required of you for each day."
20 When they left Pharaoh, they found Moses and Aaron waiting to meet them,
21 and they said, "May the LORD look upon you and judge you! You have made us a stench to Pharaoh and his officials and have put a sword in their hand to kill us." [Ge 16:5 31:49. May the Lord judge you for getting us into this terrible situation with Pharaoh and his officials. You have given them an excuse to kill us!]
22 Moses returned to the LORD and said, "O Lord, why have you brought trouble upon this people? Is this why you sent me?
23 Ever since I went to Pharaoh to speak in your name, he has brought trouble upon this people, and you have not rescued your people at all."[Since I gave Pharaoh your message, he has been even more brutal to your people. You have not even begun to rescue them!]
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