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BEFORE I WAS A MOM
Before I was a Mom - I made and ate hot meals. I had unstained
clothing. I had quiet conversations on the phone.
Before I was a Mom - I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about
how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.
Before I was a Mom - I didn't worry whether or not my plants were
poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom - I had never been puked on, wet on, spit on, chewed
on, or pinched by tiny fingers.
Before I was a Mom - I had complete control over my thoughts, my body,
my mind. I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom - I never held down a screaming child so that doctors
could do tests, or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and
cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up
late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom - I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't
want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I could not stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so
much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom - I didn't know the feeling of having my heart
outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a
hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child. I
didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.
Before I was a Mom - I had never gotten up every ten minutes, in the
middle of the night, to make sure that all was okay. I had never known
the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderfulness, or the
satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so
much, before I was a Mom.
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It is impossible to lick your elbow.
A crocodile can't stick it's tongue out.
A shrimp's heart is in their head.
People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, you're heart stops for a mili-second.
In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years,no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried it's head in the sand (or attempted to do so-apart from Bones).
It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
Between 1937 and 1945 Heinz produced a version of Alphabetti
Spaghetti especially for the German market that consisted solely of little pasta swastikas.
On average, a human being will have sex more than 3,000 times and spend two weeks kissing in their lifetime.
More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.
Rats and horses can't vomit.
The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the
toughest tongue twister in the English language.
If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to
suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
If you keep your eyes open by force, they will pop out.
Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants...(think goodness for snakes)
Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S.
citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?
In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks.
In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders.
Most lipstick contains fish scales.
Cat's urine glows under a black-light.
Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different
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The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles.
*Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
* Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting fromthe flush. (eeewwwwwwwww!!)
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for
blood plasma.
* American car horns beep in the tone of F.
* No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times.
* Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
* 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.
* You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
* Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.
* The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
* The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.
* A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.
* American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class.
* Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
* The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA."
* Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in
the morning.
* The 57 on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once had.
* The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
* Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin. (all together now...eeeewwwwwwwww!!!!!)
* The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer.
* Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
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