| |
|
A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice
evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and
he decided to open her up.
As the needle jumped up to 80mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue
light behind him. "There ain't no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought
to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100 110 and finally
120 with the lights still behind him.
"What in hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and
the car. "I've had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don't feel
like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I
haven't heard before you can go!"
"Last week my wife ran off with a cop," the man said, "and I was afraid you
were trying to give her back!"
"Have a nice night", said the officer.
Amazing God Really Answers Prayer
This particular story just made me laugh. Every time I think about it, the vision of that poor cat just cracks me up. Hope the story leaves a bright spot in your day. Whoever said the Creator doesn't have a
sense of humor?
Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church.
He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc. The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to
climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and drove away so that the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten.
He did all this, checking his progress in the car frequently, then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved a little further forward, the rope broke. The tree went "boing!" and the kitten instantly sailed through the air-out of sight.
The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they'd seen a little kitten. No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed, "Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping," and went on about his business.
A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food. Now this woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, "Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so
much?" She replied, "You won't believe this," and told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, "Well if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it."
She told the pastor, "I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out
of the blue sky, with its paws outspread, and landed right in front of her."
Never underestimate the Power of God!
|
|
Police officer pulls over a speeding car. The Officer says, " I clocked you
at 80 mph. sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control
at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly, " Now don't be silly
dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and
growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, " You should be thankful your radar
detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector
unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, " Dammit
woman, can't you keep your mouth shut."
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat
belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah, well you
see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I
could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says," Now dear you know very well that you didn't have your seat
belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to
his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT TO HECK UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk
to you this way, Ma'am?"
"Oh heavens no, officer. Only when he's been drinking."
|
|
Got a letter from Grandma the other day. She writes...
The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker.
I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience that followed!
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is...and I didn't notice that the light had changed.
It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed!
I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO!
GO! Jesus Christ, GO!"
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking!
I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a "sunny beach"...
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.
Then I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.
My grandson burst out laughing...why, even he was enjoying this religious experience!
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.
So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers grinning, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!
Grandma
|
|
|
