The Fundementilist Church of Loop is under the direct and unquestionable control of The All High and Illustrious Snogpitch. The Church of Loop is founded on The Holy Theories of The High Snogpitch and his co-founder, The All Medium and Illustrious Snogpitch. The Holy Theories are as stated below. The Book of The Holy Theories will be known as The Holy Snogpitch. Persons following in the religion will be known as Loopers. The persons reaching a higher level of achievement, and thus reaching the "W' level of passive activity will be known as All Low and Illustrious Loopers. All of those above this level and below the level of Medium Snogpitch will be the teachers of The Holy Snogpitch. They will be expected to have reached the "W" level, and also be capable of imparting The Holy knowledge of the supreme achievement to those followers who have not reached this zenith of height.

 

The Holy Snogpitch

 

  1. Loopers are to give a solemn oath to follow and adhere to the doctrines stated in The Holy Snogpitch.
  2. Only The All High and Illustrious Snogpitch and The All Medium and Illustrious Snogpitch shall have access to the original copy of The Holy Snogpitch.
  3. Only The All High and Illustrious Snogpitch and The All Medium and Illustrious Snogpitch shall be considered as the interpreters of The Holy Snogpitch.
  4. Those who violate the rules of The All Holy Snogpitch are subject to punishment of a humane nature, from The Holy Council, consisting of The All High and Illustrious Snogpitch, and The All Medium and Illustrious Snogpitch.

 

Religious Aspects The religious doctrine of The Holy Snogpitch will be one of a passive belief. You are not subject to publicly claim The Holy Snogpitch as your guide to life. Nature will be held as the supreme directive and guide of The Holy Snogpitch. Those who believe in nature and the ways of the woods, will be following The Holy Snogpitch. This does not mean that you must give up your objects of possession, nor, that you must live in nature. Rather, it means that you must respect nature. It is also stated that any preservation of life, building, and such, is a Holy Objective.

 

The Three Holy Objectives

 

There will be people who will try your sound faith, they will laugh and ridicule you and The Holy Snogpitch. The Holy Snogpitch will survive any ridicule, but The Holy Atmosphere will be damaged. To aid in the replacement of The Holy Atmosphere, you will be expected to make monthly contributions to The Holy Council as a means to repent. You will feel contented and well after you repent. You will have helped to preserve The Holy Snogpitch and you will not have to openly publicly defend it. When you have progressed to a feeling of good will to all, except for occasional minor periods of mental depression, you will have reached the supreme "W" level of passive activity and you will be rightly considered an All Low and Illustrious Looper. So it is written, so it shall be.

The Holy Council

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